Homer fell hard onto a hard wooden floor with a loud “THUD!”
“Ohhh,” Homer moaned. “Why does everything hard hurt so much?”
He got up, made slightly more difficult than usual as his belly had made a small crater in the floor.
“Now where am I?”
“Screw you, I'm not talking to you until you listen to me,” said his brain.
"Never!"
It was a little dark for some reason, but wherever he was, it wasn’t anywhere he’d been before. Homer stepped backwards, attempting to survey his surroundings, until his very large behind bumped into something, making him take a pratfall.
“D’OH!”
He got up, turned around, and gasped to see the most pleasing sight of his day. Underneath a counter, behind a glass case were rows and rows of cakes. There were big ones, small ones, round ones, square ones, frosted ones, multilayered ones, and jelly rolls. There were also several trays of cupcakes, all frosted and some sprinkled.
“Mmmm… cake…”
Homer reached out to take a cake, but his hand was stopped by the aforementioned layer of glass.
“Wuh?”
He tried pounding on the glass.
"So that’s the way it’s gonna be is it?” Homer asked the case rhetorically.
Homer took several steps back before charging at the case. He leapt at the case, but overshot it and the counter, and crashed into the wall on the other side, crumpling onto the floor below.
“D’ooooooh…” he moaned.
Then he noticed a handle on the glass.
“Muh?”
He pulled on it, and the case opened.
“WOOHOO!”
He immediately began feasting on the sugary delicacies within.
Pinkie Pie woke up earlier than she usually did. Whenever this happened, she always had too much energy to stay in bed, so she always got up.
Of course, she never minded this.
“Good Morning, Ponyville!!” exclaimed Pinkie as he jumped out of bed. “Wait, I can’t say ‘good morning, Ponyville’ unless everypony can hear it!” She opened up her window. “GOOD MORNING, PONYVILLE!!!” she shouted. She then closed it and cheerfully trotted downstairs while the few early risers outside massaged their ears.
She froze on the stairs when she heard someone eating.
“Mrs. Cake? Are you up early too?”
Whoever it was kept eating.
“Mr. Cake? Are you having that cake-gobbling-party-that-I-keep-asking-for-but-you-keep-on-saying-no without me?”
She went through the kitchen to the counter in the front, when a horrific sight met her eyes. A giant, yellow monster with a white shirt and blue pants was eating the store’s cakes! As it swallowed the rest of an entire four-layer double chocolate cake, it turned around to look at Pinkie with humongous, white, bug-like eyes. Pinkie Pie screamed.
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! MONSTER!!!”
Then the monster screamed just as loud.
“MONSTER?! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Soon both creatures were running and galloping around; emitting high, girlish screams. The racket woke the Cakes, who came quickly onto the scene. While in truth, both Pinkie and the beast were running around in circles, to the Cakes, it looked like Pinkie was being chased by a terrible yellow beast. They ran out of the store to get Ponyville’s top expert on never-before-seen creatures, among other numerous subjects.
Twilight Sparkle was reading a fascinating essay on economics by Silver Smith over her morning oats when the Cakes burst in unexpectedly.
“Mr. and Mrs. Cake!” exclaimed Twilight. “What’s wrong? You two look like you’ve been chased by an Ursa Major for a few miles!”
“Not quite,” said Cup Cake. “Twilight, you’ve got to get over to Sugarcube Corner! Pinkie’s being chased by some big, yellow monster!”
“We’ve never seen something like it before!” said Carrot Cake. “Celestia knows what sort of danger Pinkie’s in right now!”
“I’m on it!” said Twilight.
She ran to the door, and then stopped.
“Could you two get the rest of the girls and tell them to get to Sugarcube Corner as quickly as possible?”
“Whatever you say, Twilight!” said Cup Cake.
The three Equestrians exited the library, all running in different directions.
Twilight galloped at top speed while trying to figure out what could be attacking Pinkie.
“It couldn’t be a dragon,” she thought. “Why would they single out and attack one pony? A manticore’s coat is yellow-ish, maybe more brown though. No, if it had been anything like those, the cakes would have identified it by species. But what could it be?”
As the building came into sight, she heard screams getting steadily louder and louder as she drew near. She saw several ponies surrounding it, unable to draw especially close due to fear.
Twilight charged up to the door, busted it open, and observed what was inside. Her jaw dropped.
Two organisms were running haphazardly around the bakery, screaming as though their lives depended on it. One was Pinkie Pie. The other, for lack of a better word, wasn't. It had two legs, and two arms with hands, like a minotaur. The similarities with the familiar Tauran race ended there, however. It was completely hairless, except around what appeared to be a mouth. It had smooth, yellow skin and great white eyes with dots for what seemed to be pupils. Most perplexing of all, it was wearing a white shirt, blue pants, and two grey-black shoes on its hind legs (Well, only legs, that is). It wasn't often that Twilight saw something that she hadn't seen illustrated or described in a book. It took three full minutes before she finally snapped out of her shock and went to talk to the hysterical Pinkie Pie.
“Pinkie! What is that thing? Did it attack you?” asked Twilight.
Pinkie abruptly stopped screaming. “Oh, I don’t know what that weird thing is. I was sort of surprised when I saw it, so I screamed and I was like ‘AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! MONSTER!!!’” the last part which she screamed at the top of her lungs, to Twilight’s surprise and frustration. “Then I kept screaming and running around ‘cause it was so fun, like I was in a haunted house or something!”
Twilight facehoofed. “Pinkie, have you ever heard of the Colt Who Cried Wolf?”
Pinkie giggled. “It’s not a wolf, silly! In fact, I don’t even know what it is! What is it?”
“Well…”
“Ooh! Is it a giant yellow monkey from another planet?!”
“I don’t know! It shouldn't exist! It’s not in any book I've ever read!”
Suddenly, four young mares charged through the door. The rest of their friends had arrived.
“I came as fast as I…” began Rarity. Then she and the others stared at the yellow monster. She gasped. Fluttershy eeped. Both Rainbow Dash’s and Applejack’s mouths dropped.
“What in tarnation…” started Applejack.
“WHAT… IS… THAT?” said Rainbow Dash.
Meanwhile, the ape-like monster continued to scream and run around in circles.