Some 480 faves, I love everyone, really I do, I love you all in the most heterosexual/homosexual way possible.
The title 'dozen and a quarter dozen' means fifteen, 12 / 4 = 3, and 12 + 3 = 15
Dozen = 12, quarter = x / 4, and = x + y, for those who don't understand middle school level math.
Enough breaking immersion, ON WITH THE SHOW!
Roman was confused, really confused.
Not only was this town filled with what he could only describe as 'half sized horses', they were also sentient and even accepted him and his associates without asking any questions, or even so much as batting an eye.
Junior chalked it up to, "We may not be the first ones here, maybe they think we're friendly based on precedents."
"That's stupid." Miltia remarked, inspecting her fist blades.
"No, it's lucky, we'll get a lot farther on a lie and good reputation than a lie alone. So shut up Red." Roman's suave voice had a patience to it, a patience that had quickly been wearied by the Malachite twins.
They had been together for about half an hour, suddenly and randomly appearing in the middle of a dark, dank forest, navigating their way out and finding this 'Ponyville' place.
Roman took the proverbial bull by its metaphorical horns and dubbed himself the leader.
His cane was now tapping against the cobblestone streets of Ponyville, they had been accepted on the lie that they were there to fight the evils of this world.
"I just don't get why we're doing this." Junior complained, damn he was whiny, and damn he needed to shave.
His beard had reached an ungodly length, Roman, with his far-beyond-the-gutter mind, concluded that if Junior grew a miniature beard off of his penis, it would still not reach as low as the voluminous hair stretching from Junior's lower face.
Roman was walking backwards while going over his plans for the third time, yet there was still confusion from the others.
He wasn't watching were he was going, and bumped into something. The thing is, these ponies were about three feet tall, which was about waist level, so somepony's head ended up bumping into his rear-end
"HEEEY HEY HEY, watch the backside." he chastised to empty air. He looked down and realized that he had bumped into some random mare, a pegasus, and she dropped a pouch on impact, the contents of it spilling out.
He looked down at her, observing as she rubbed her head with a hoof. He noticed the 'money', and proceeded to do a double take at it, it was a bunch of gold coins.
He wanted those, a lot, and suddenly seemed to be very interested in coming off as a good guy.
Squatting down to be eye level with the mare, he spoke.
"I am sorry miss, I wasn't watching where I was going, I hope you can forgive me." he was quite the actor when he needed to be, and at this time he put on a very gentlemanly tone.
"That's okay, we all make mistakes, myself included, I've noticed that I make more mistakes than usual, it seems." Roman inspected the pegasus as she spoke, she was gray with a yellow mane, leaning to the side dexterously, he found her 'cute mark', or whatever it was, to be bubbles.
Finally he looked back at her eyes, she looked a little ticked off.
"Keep your eyes to yourself, buddy." she rebuked, finally starting to pick up her coins.
"I am sorry, I did not mean to come off creepy, you are a very pretty mare, Miss...." Roman was putting on every act he could, all in an attempt to get a hold of at least one of the coins.
The mare didn't say anything, just blushed a little bit, Roman gestured for her to tell him her name
"Ditzy Doo, but most ponies just call me Derpy Hooves, they're kinda mean for doing that." Ditzy sounded put down by her own statement, looking to the ground and gather her money quietly.
"Of course they are mean, that is not a nickname that anypony would be proud of, look up at me," he lifted her chin with a finger, truly taking in her eyes for the first time, "Your eyes, they are..." he tried to find the right word.
"I swear, if you say 'crossed', ooh." the pegasus prepared herself to get forceful, she didn't like getting forceful, but had learned that doing so was necessary to 'get by' in life.
"I was going to say gold, your eyes, the irises are gold." the mobster corrected her, taking his hand off of Ditzy's chin.
"Oh, right, sometimes I forget about that part of them." the blonde mare was relieved that this gentleman wasn't going to make fun of her, in fact, he seemed completely unaware of her condition at all.
"Let me help you with the mess I've caused." Roman prepared himself, this was the moment he had worked towards.
Deftly grabbing the coins in quick succession, he placed them into the bag at a speed that Ditzy couldn't track, which was good, as he palmed one of the golden discs where she could not see it.
"There you go, good as new." the hatted man assured, standing up again, stretching his legs and popping his knees free of the stiffness they had built up from the extended period of squatting.
"Thanks, mister...." Ditzy motioned for the redhead to continue where she had left off.
"Roman, Roman Torchwick, a dignified businessman, here to help." he gave a bow and Ditzy returned it, not sure what else to do, the gray pony flew off, and Roman began walking again.
The others sat on a nearby bench, watching the almost diplomatic act their temporary leader put on.
"Come on, fools, we have work to do." the white-clad man commanded, continuing his walk down the street.
And there went the diplomacy
The others followed, Roman slowed down to get in line with them, showing the coin.
He bit it, it bent, "Alright, it's real gold, this is excellent, excellent indeed. Now to find a bank, rob it, and get the fuck out of here." the mobster planned, turning to his comrades for their approval.
Nods from all three of the black haired clubbers was all he needed, and he began swaggering to the nearest directory.
<cutaway>
Everyone on team RWBY, team JNPR, and the recently formed team DOGS, looked at the portal cautiously.
The structures had been set up recently, about two days after their arrival, there were three portals.
One led to Ponyville, one led to Neigh York, and one led to Bearussia.
The dozen warriors were heading back to Ponyville, their teaching, training, and re-training complete, it was time to settle where they would stay.
Walking through the portal labeled 'Ponyville', they hadn't been charged the fee since they had been pardoned, the fee was only a few bits anyways, but Luna insisted that they go through without having to pay, they were heroes, they shouldn't have to pay to go through a simple portal.
They had made the final decision on residence, the system would be to alternate locations every-so-often, to keep things fresh.
First rotation, team RWBY would be at the Carousal Boutique, team JNPR would be at the Books and Branches Library, and team DOGS would be at Sweet Apple Acres.
Ruby couldn't wait for the next rotation, team RWBY would stay at Sugarcube Corner after this.
All the cookies she could eat, and then some.
Yang only shook her head, giving a slight grin at her little sister's enthusiasm.
Nora was talking to Ren about getting new outfits, unfortunately for her and maybe fortunately for Ren, the green-clad young man was unconscious. He had exhausted himself in the previous day's work, when the work was done, he practically deactivated like a robot.
Pyrrha and Jaune made small talk, a few notes about techniques were exchanged.
Jaune's memory problems had been erased with the newfound control over his battle power, his fathers' words, the shield users established the basic form of eachother's power.
Jaune was strong, but unskilled. His lack of skill was mainly because he had never received formal training, and so his proficiency in swordsmanship was low. Sure he did a lot of damage, but these lucky strikes where just that, lucky, and his stance was shit. His strength made up for it though.
After all, would you criticize the Hulk for his poor form right after he ripped out a large chunk of asphalt and smashed someone flat with it?
Pyrrha was weak, but skilled, her training made up for the lack of real power in her attacks. Sure she did honest damage, which is damage that is not mitigated by defense or negated by missing, but the damage she dished out wasn't much. Her skills made up for it though.
After all, would you comment that Bruce Lee's punches are relatively weak when he punches you twenty times in about five seconds?
Force dust empowered attacks at the cost of not knowing how to optimally use them.
High velocity armor piercing rounds at the cost of caliber, and thus a smaller momentum.
They were equal, sort of, if you were to grade their statistics in an academic test, then find the total of those stats, the two numbers would be the same.
Blake was feeling good being here, the very air in the small town seemed to have an effect on all of them.
It was as if Equestria itself smelled of happiness, friendship, and good times
The Mane Six were leading the groups to their respective locations, following the longest path they could manage, so as to get in some conversation time, learn more about the humans.
"So, Scoot, any reason why you're riding on ol' Qrow's head?" Rainbow Dash asked, hovering upside-down next to the orange filly and the feather haired man.
"We're adventuring buddies, we do lots of exciting stuff, and some awesome aerial maneuvers too." Scootaloo spoke with excitement in her voice.
"Oh, that's pretty cool, it's nice to know you've found someone to carry you around when I can't." the cyan pegasus stated simply, unaware of the unfortunate implications of her words.
"Are you suggesting that I can't fly?" the orange pegasus interrogated, a bit miffed about what her idol was suggesting.
The violet maned filly started up her wings, hovering above the spectral maned mare's upside-down form.
"Scootaloo, I hate to say it, but it's obvious." Rainbow Dash had her eyes closed, but from behind her lids, she noticed that the sun got a lot darker suddenly.
Opening her rose colored eyes, she saw Scootaloo hovering above her, looking down upon her.
Rainbow Dash stopped for a few seconds, Scootaloo started doing tricks and stunts, her youthful flexibility and agility allowing her to pull off incredibly tight turns and flips.
The older pegasus was stunned at this seemingly sudden development, she didn't really pay much attention to Scootaloo and her affairs, but now she wished she had, if only to see her doing this stuff earlier.
Qrow cleared his throat, "*ahem* Miss Dash, I must say, you're not a very good role model if you can't do in almost three years, what her unicorn brother stuck in the military did in three days. Young Scootaloo is a great flier, I'd say just a notch below you, if the way she raved on about you and your skills was anything to go by." Qrow lectured, laughing at the shocked expression RD had on her face, "You should spend some time with her, do some bondage- I mean, bonding, sorry, my mind sometimes stops working right for a second or two. Nonetheless, at least talk to her and do stuff." the black feathered man suggested, fully conveying that he wasn't truly demanding anything from the rose eyed speedster.
Blake, Weiss, and Rarity were making their own small talk.
"I must say, I do very much wish to replicate your wonderful outfits, darlings, I believe it would be a big hit in the other havens." the fashionista raved, admiring the white and black schemed clothing closely.
"That sounds, nice, I'll allow it." Weiss replied, a bit of a skip in her step at seeing this new scenery, she hadn't been to this part of town before.
"What about you, Miss Belladonna?" the white unicorn continued.
"Um, sure, I can get behind that." Blake answered, not really sure how to respond.
"Wonderful, simply wonderful, I must say I love your headband, are those cat ears on it?" the indigo maned mare asked innocently.
Blake faltered for several seconds, trying to think of some excuse, "Um, yes, yes those are cat ears in my headband." she told the truth, at least.
Those were cat ears in her headband.
A strange stallion ran past, shouting.
"OUT OF THE WAY! I need to get to the bank." he said to the group, blinded by his goal to notice the humans.
Blake analyzed him in a second or two, seeing everything about his appearance.
His coat was like gold, mane and tail like silver, eyes were like platinum, and unshorn fetlocks like copper.
His hooves were tensed, galloping didn't do that to a pony, she could tell he had evil intentions.
"I'm going to follow him." Blake announced quietly, taking off and climbing a building a couple of seconds.
Using her ninja skills, she ran after him, jumping across rooftops to keep up, even jumping across whole streets.
Finally he stopped in front of the bank he had said he was going to.
He walked inside, Blake used her stealth skills to see what was going on without being seen herself.
<battle time>
He was robbing a bank, damn the clock was loud though.
The stallion was pissed off though, after his brother Belphegor was killed by that Jaune guy, he stepped his game up, moving from petty theft to, well, bank robbery.
He was pissed off, not because his dear brother was dead, no, Belphegor was a lazy sack of shit, he was mad because somepony else was already robbing this bank.
Roman had his Veno-Vulcan aimed at the tellers, the cane/firework-missile-launcher was named so because the name meant 'Beautiful Fire', which was a perfect description of fireworks.
Junior had beaten down all of the guards, taking a pair of pistols, since while smaller, they were more conventional and would blow up things that he didn't need blown up.
Melanie and Miltia were cracking the vault, hoping that there were lots of lockboxes in it.
Junior was launched past Roman, the other man's heavy frame knocking out one of the tellers.
Roman looked at the golden stallion that faced him, grabbing a pistol from one of the downed guards and firing.
Mammon wasn't having that shit, he absorbed the bullets with his Greedy Charity, a cross between a leaf-blower and a Ghostbusters plasma cannon backpack.
He used the doppelganger spell, turning into a dapper, almost foppishly dressed man with a golden suit, silver hair and top hat, and copper shoes, his eyes stayed the same platinum color, though.
He shot the bullets back at Roman, missing each shot as the mobster turned around and shot at him with the Veno-Vulcan, the firework's explosive properties countering the absorption of Mammon's weapon, blowing the other man apart.
Mammon wasn't going down so easily, he grabbed his limbs and reattached them, the severed flesh reforming and the limbs began to move in accordance with his mind.
He held out his hand, his greed powers were nigh infinite as he stole the other man's weapons.
Aiming both the pistol and the cane, Mammon watched as Roman said a quick prayer.
"Oh father in heaven, forgive me of my sins as I forgive this asshole for killing me, blessed be thy name and thou shalt bless me too." Roman spoke at a mile a minute, bracing for impact.
He heard the familiar whistling of the firework missile, the bullet missed, but he was still going to get hit.
*BOOM*
*SHING*
*BANG*
Blake slashed the greed demon with her sword, finishing him with a bullet to the neck.
She watched the smoke clear from around Roman, his aura had protected him, he had gone so long without getting hurt, that he had forgotten about it.
"That makes us even, Torchwick." she spat at the old acquaintance, not proud to have known him.
The redhead opened his eyes to see a familiar face.
"Blake, how've ya' been, huh? How's that Faunus Civil Rights been going?" he greeted cheerily, recognizing her as an old client.
He reminisced the past
It had been a few years, yes, but he remembered the young girl coming to him. Being the local crime boss of Vale, he had connections, and she and some wolf faunus named Adam had come to him, needing armaments to assist their goals in uprooting various corrupt corporate plans.
They had brought a small heist's worth of lien to pay him for his services, he took the money, along with a picture of him and the two faunus, he liked faunus, they seemed really cool to him.
After that, the two were hooked up with weapons, for the young cat girl, a sword/pistol with a sharpened scabbard. For the few-years-older wolf man, a ninjato with a rifle for a sheath.
He looked at the picture of him and the faunus pair, thinking about how Blake wore a ribbon with holes for her cat ears, pretending like it was just a fancy bow.
The white-clad man put the picture back in his wallet, smiling and looking at the girl, now a lot more grown up.
"Well, I'll consider your saving my life as a full repayment." he said, his voice returning to its usual suave, smooth tone.
Blake nodded, about to toss the criminal his cane back, when she saw some girl poking her head out from the teller's stall.
"Hey Roman, the vault is cracked, you have to check this out, there's a ton of gold in here, I think it might be a literal tonne, too." Melanie informed, going back to the vault where the twins were working on how to transport the immense mass of the precious metal
"Wait, you're robbing this bank?" Blake knew the answer, but asked, in order to give the man a chance to redeem himself.
"Yes, there is so much gold here, you have no idea, have you even seen these things? I think they call them bits." Roman tossed over a gold bit.
Blake dexterously caught it, examining it.
On one side was a fancy sun symbol, with the phrase 'In Celestia we trust' along the top curve, and 'Praise the sky' along the bottom curve.
On the other side was a fancy moon and stars symbol, with the phrase 'In Luna we trust' along the top curve, and 'Praise the sky' along the bottom curve.
It was perfectly circular, one inch in diameter and a quarter inch thick. Doing some quick math in her head, using a tonne of gold as a goal for the volume, which was fifteen inches cubed, that would be fifteen by fifteen by sixty, since they were a quarter inch thick, the total of that multiplication would equate to......
.... Thirteen and a half thousand bits.
The conversion rates would mean that if they did have a whole tonne of pure gold, then the price of that would be.....
.... Forty eight point two million lien.
"I can't let you do that." she said, pulling out the Stargaze and Moon's Eye.
"Do you really expect to hurt me with a weapon I recognize? That's just stu-" Roman was cut off with a strike to the forehead from the handle of the blade.
Blake zoomed forward, grabbing the blade backhandedly and slashing with it, firing several times with the automatic rifle.
Putting the pair of arms away, she pulled out the Gambol Shroud, slashing Roman several times with both blades, shooting him with the pistol a few times.
"Okay, okay, I give up." Roman said after nonchalantly stepping backwards from the attacks, putting his hands up in surrender.
Blake stepped back, her pistol/sword aimed squarely at the redhead's face.
Ruby and Yang ran into the bank through the broken windows on the front wall.
"Hey! It's YOU!" Ruby shouted at the familiar face of Roman, noticing he was unarmed, she pulled out Crescent Rose and aimed.
"Ruby stop, he's my business." Blake protested, looking away from Roman for a couple of seconds.
That was all the mobster needed, as he kneed the black haired girl in the wrist, grabbing Gambol Shroud and punching her hard, knocking her backwards.
Flipping to recover, Blake looked at Ruby again, the look on her face practically screamed 'I repeal my previous decision'.
The whistling of several missiles whisked past the white and black pair, sailing through the air at Yang.
"You're going to pay for what you did to me, blondie." Junior threatened, the Batzooka primed again, he fired at her.
Yang dodged the missiles, giving a cheeky grin at Junior, firing her Ember Celicas at the bearded clubber as Blake dodged out of the way.
Roman took a few hits, but shot Blake a few times, aiming at Yang at shooting her as well.
After another fourteen or so shots, the pistol clicked, it was out of ammo.
Blake and Roman wrestled at each other to get the Gambol Shroud, the weapon was clearly the most conventional out of team RWBY.
Conventional was a useful attribute for a weapon in Vytal, conventional meant that one could rely on it to do a wide field of normal tasks in a normal manner, the pistol/sword would slash and shoot with the capacity and functionality of a regular sword or regular pistol, but without the hassle of carrying both at the same time.
It was simple, reliable, and the only thing that would need periodic maintenance would be the ribbon whip function.
Blake reloaded the twenty round magazine into the gun, trying to aim at Roman and firing two shots in the process, one knocked off his hat, the other grazed his hair.
The white-clad man proved to be stronger, as he wrenched the weapon from Blake's grip, shooting her in rapid succession, draining her soul quickly.
He did not expect to get shot in the side by a massive bullet, which struck with such force that it knocked his own aura down to zero.
Blake noticed this, grabbing her weapon from the weakened criminal, slashing him across the chest.
The fighting was interrupted by a sudden flash of light accompanied by a teleportation sound
*SHA-WING*
Twilight appeared in the bank from her powerful teleportation, peering around quickly, as though she was looking for something.
She had detected evil inside the walls of Ponyville, and readied herself for action.
Her saruma staff hovered in the air, the gem transformed into a hammer head.
She saw the robbers, using a soul alignment divining spell to detect evil, they all had an imbalance of darkness. In combination with the fact that they were obviously robbing a fucking bank, classic criminal actions.
She wasn't going to allow such filth in her field of authority. She mapped out in her head where the criminals were, then advanced.
She struck the redheaded criminal in the chest.
*BAN*
She teleported behind the teller booths and struck Junior
*BAN*
The unicorn moved to the twins in the vault, sending the saruma spinning horizontally at them, striking them both.
*BANBAN*
Grabbing the staff again, the lavender unicorn snorted in a bit of rage, she was mad that such scum had entered her town.
So she had brought out the Ban Hammer.
<battle end>
Teleporting back to the main room, she looked at the three warriors, making sure they were okay.
"I could have taken them." Yang assured, compressing the Ember Celicas down into bracelets again.
"I'm sure of it, sorry for intervening there." the streak maned mare apologized, rubbing her head and placing her staff on her back.
"That was COOL, don't be sorry, you did great, the way you were all like 'Not Today' and you went BAM, SMACK, SMACK SMACK SMACK, it was awesome!" Ruby dramatized the events, making explosion gestures with her hands and looking starry eyed at the somewhat impressive display, "And then you tried to be all humble like 'It was nothing' and then I started describing how awesome it was, and.... hey look, Roman dropped his cane." Ruby picked up the Veno-Vulcan that had been left behind by the banished mobster.
Storing it away on her back, she turned to Twilight.
"*sigh* Do either of you know where they came from?" Twilight asked, she felt suspicious at the unrequested and unwanted appearance of these four new humans.
"I have no idea, I followed the golden pony here, I could sense that he had ill intents, but these other guys were already here for some reason." Blake acted like she didn't know Roman, pretended that she wasn't slightly saddened to not be able to at least have some sort of conversation with her old acquaintance, if only to catch up on things, but she kept her mouth shut so as to not look like a friend of the enemies of the law.
"I see, get Weiss and Glynda, then follow me to the library." Twilight had a hypothesis, a hypothesis that might result in some major problems if it was correct.
With that, the orders were given to clean the place up and restore the peace, while the humans and the mage set off to see what was going on.
<cutaway>
Twilight levitated the large scroll that was heavily laden with glyphs into view.
"This is Runic, the language of magic, anyone can read it because it is a symbolic language similar to equish but tuned more to the arcane aura that surrounds the planet like the atmosphere. rather than a language used by the average pony." the mage began, bringing up a second scroll, which was written both in equish, as well as with neater penponyship, "This is the spell that Luna composed, the one she, Celestia, and me and my friends used to summon you all here." Twilight cleared her throat, preparing to read the spell.
"In the times of overwhelming darkness, I, the princess of the night we the protectors of both the Light of Hope and the Maintenance of Harmony, do desperately humbly send forth a summoning aura, to bring some heroes no more or less than fifteen heroes Warriors of Peace Light to help us not die beat back the evils of the world, should we fail at it ourselves undoubtedly need it. Should one or more of these warriors get killed fall in battle, a new warrior shall be summoned to take his/her place, being brought to Equestria no sooner than one (1) week and no later than six (6) months. Sister stop trying to read my scroll over my shoulder, that's really rude." Twilight forgot to not include the last line, realizing her mistake, she just turned around and trotted over to her chalkboard.
"Right, so, I have been able to calculate what exactly the spell did. When the spell was cast, a link was formed between our world, Equus, and your world, Vytal, I think it was. This link will act as a 'Self Fill-No Overflow-Lower Limit=Upper Limit' gate, which means that if the number of your people in Equestria is below the lower limit, it will summon more humans, seeing as how we got four random criminals, I would assume that the link lacks a guidance system for determining the 'Warriors of Light' requisites. tell me, is the title 'Warrior of Light' common in your world?" the lavender unicorn explained, though her question held a lot of weight to it.
"Just about every human being in Vytal is considered a 'Warrior of Light', as we all possess light and darkness, where as the creatures of Grimm, which as you know is our world's version of the Sin, are nothing but darkness. If your calculations are correct-" Glynda paused for a moment to adjust her glasses.
"And they usually are." Twilight added with a little laugh.
"Then we will indeed have to regularly inspect who is here, so as to make sure that no, as you put it, criminals or other such dark-dominant humans stay here long enough to do something nasty." the elderly woman summarized.
"So, I've learned during my time here, that the best we can do is prepare for what may come, I'll get my assistants in," Twilight turned to the staircase, "SPIKE, I NEED YOUR HELP!" she called out, tilting her view to the basement door, "JOAX, YOU TOO!" she announced.
The little purple dragon came running down the stairs, a few seconds after he stood front and center, a tired looking unicorn emerged from the basement door.
He looked like a complex kind of guy, his brown mane with a lavender streak running through it, his piercing amethyst irises with abnormally white sclera, his purple-brown coat, a black facemask covered his muzzle almost up to his nose, a black cape draped over his back, withers, down to his flank, the cape and mask were connected, made of some sort of leather, probably leather from the Sin, if the purple eyes on the back had any meaning, a gray shirt covered by a white lab coat trimmed with lavender, brown hind leg boots, his cutie mark was a purple and black double helix with sparkles and smoke in the middle.
"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Joax, Joax Hellstorm, he's from what was once Shoeden, in the Scandineighvia area. He's an expert in illusions, wards, alchemy, and enchantments, so I've recruited him in assisting me in protecting the town. His name may be pronounced like hoax, but it's spelled with a J."
"It's the way we spelt it back in Shoeden, if there was one thing we Shoedish are good at, it's fucking," the hunters could feel his cheeky smile, but he continued anyways, "But the other thing is spelling things slightly different in order to distinguish ourselves." he laughed, levitating out a dagger as his laughing quickly became dark, ending abruptly with him having ascended to insane cackling and flinging his dagger into the air, the bowie-knife-like blade landing perfectly in its sheath, he was silent the second the *SHICK* sound of the dagger being sheathed was heard.
"Sorry, I lose control like that sometimes." he apologized, looking at a trio of necklaces he just pulled out of his shirt, one was a green-dominant turquoise orb on a thin golden chain, one was a cyan jewel capped with a dark blue pearl on a silver chain, and the last was the oddest, a pair of pink hands holding a red heart, on a copper chain.
It was odd only because it was clearly human hands, from a woman, but the human part was more important.
"Yeah, I help with magic stuff while Spike here helps with general household stuff." Joax looked sad.
"Hey, cheer up, nice... cape, it goes well with your.... eyes?" Yang wasn't really good at cheering people up.
"Thanks, I carved it off of a Daemon pony, an evil creature formed solely from hell essence, an embodiment of evil, I carved off its skin and made it into a cape and mask." the stallion told his tale, drinking a bottle of some sort of potion through his mask, as though it were intangible.
"Anyways, enough of your tannery, Spike and you need to prepare the populace for any humans that might arrive, Joax, since you're good at asking hard questions, you'll be organizing things, Spike will be doing the talking." Twilight instructed, gesturing for the pair to get to work.
She would have done all of this herself, but more pressing matters needed to be tended to.
"Alright, let's get you all to your proper temporary residence, and then we need to properly formulate a plan to engage the Sin and destroy them." the mare stated in a businesslike tone, walking towards the door.
"Let the Sin come to us, we can handle whatever they can do." Weiss was confident in not only her own, but everyone's abilities to fight these monsters.
Twilight gave a sideways glance at the white-schemed fencer, 'well, she seems... sure of herself' she thought, continuing to the door and opening it.
When they were out roaming the streets, a lot of ponies gave frightful glances, and some even dared to give nervous stares.
One look and gesture from Twilight asserted the knowledge that these four were good guys, but keep an eye out for any humans that nopony recognized.
Trekking through the streets, they reached Carousal Boutique, the lavender unicorn giving a few knocks on the door before entering.
*VORP*
"Twilight, I have discovered the philosopher's stone." Joax teleported in front of the group, levitating a shiny, magenta colored orb into view, the 'stone' glowed with red and yellow energy.
Glynda couldn't believe her ears, if this stallion was correct, then this orb was a defiance of nature and physics.
"Joax, how much time have you spent on making that thing? Can you prove that it works?" Twilight was skeptical.
"Let the man explain, I'm sure he knows what he's doing." Pyrrha interjected, team RWBY and team JNPR switched places, seeing as that was how they were assigned.
Walking back to the library, Joax went on about his exploits in alchemy, "So, I've been willing to let a bit of science into my magical methods, so I've finally answered the question to why unicorns bother using swords with handles when they can just levitate it. The answer is torque, the force of rotation, with a larger leverage, the sword actually becomes a lot easier to wield, despite being a bit heavier. Now watch me pull a miracle." the enthusiastic mage levitated the magenta orb into view again.
Lumps of black rock, coal, were put through the stone, turned into lumps of red rock that glowed yellow and were covered in yellow runes, bars of iron were turned into gold, the gold was turned into crystals, diamonds to be exact, if the blinding flawlessness of the clear gem was anything to go by, the red rocks and the diamond were combined in the stone, making a small ball of a new, impossibly dark material.
"Hoo boy, this is tough to levitate, then again, dark matter is known for its celestial density, a single cubic foot weighing about five tonnes, or ten thousand kilograms." Twilight nearly stumbled at the statement, looking at the small ball.
"Joax, you're slipping into dangerous territory in magic, if that really is dark matter." Twilight was nervous, were such impossible seeming arts really so simple?
The stallion paid no heed as he continued, bonding the dark matter to more powerful runic materials, forming ungodly things, things that shouldn't exist, but have been made by a mind of fire and eldritch desire.
"Darkness, then redness, then whiteness." Joax stated in an unnecessarily epic tone, turning the dark matter red, then the red matter white.
The new white matter gave off a glow of black, it was a reverse magnet, repelling things rather than attracting them, offsetting even light.
"I have no idea what has gone through your head." the lavender mare said exasperatedly.
Team JNPR was trying to ignore these deviances from nature, trying to hold their own conversations, and did surprisingly well.
"Twilight, what's the point of having friends, if in the end, you have no idea what they might do if they think their life is about to be over, only the purest of pure wouldn't stab you in the back and twist the knife." Joax coughed, "Sorry about that, I had to cough, what I meant to say was, are you aware of the law of conservation of detail?" Twilight felt half-offended-half-utterly confused at her assistant's words.
All she could muster was, "Wat." her mental facilities had been abandoned.
"If what I here is correct, when Gondor calls for help, Frodo's exploits won't be for naught, and the citizens of Narnia will rise up against the reign of Lord Voldemort, and Luke Skywalker's influences over however many people he ever met will inspire them to join her to defeat the Fire Nation, all in the name of The Great Gazoo." it was clear that the dark purple pony had not only lost every single one of his marbles, but also lost the jar to put them in, along with his entire fucking brain.
"Wat." Twilight repeated, still brain-stunned.
"All of them, Team VOID, Parton the dragon diplomat, the two soldiers, Captains Warden and Sparkles, myself and Spike, and more to come, when the time comes, we will be there to help." the insane unicorn was cryptic in his claims.
"When will the time come?" Twilight chose to ignore her assistant's supposed knowledge of others for the sake of getting to the point of his ramblings.
"You will know, because of the proverbial Shit. Shit will become real, in becoming real it shall be subjected to gravity, then Shit will go down, in the process of going down, Shit will hit the fan, and the resulting mess will be absolutely awful unless we are smart enough to get our Shit together, and tough enough the get that Shit done, and not end up like a common Shithead, do you understand this shit?" the member of the Hellstorm family asked, Twilight wincing slightly each time he repeated the word 'shit'
"Y'know, they say that if you say, read, or hear a word too many times without giving it a rest, it stops seeming like a real word." Nora made her statement.
"That was surprisingly thought-inducing statement, Nora." was all that Pyrrha could muster, the idea was undeniable, as she herself had felt that at least a few times before.
"I have another question, WHAT IF.... YOUR LEGS...... DIDN'T KNOW, THAT THEY WERE LEGS?" the redhead said aloud.
"And there goes the thinking." Pyrrha tried to be polite, but she just ended up face-palming.
"Here we are again." Twilight announced, informing everyone that they were now right in front of the library.
"The first time around, I never noticed how big the tree is." Pyrrha muttered under her breath, calculating that the tree must have been at least fifty feet tall.
"Let me give you a tour." the unicorn mare offered, without waiting for an answer, she spun around and faced the four warriors.
"This is the foyer." Twilight began, pointing her hooves at the various doors and openings, "Kitchen, bathroom, side room, reading room, relaxation area." she pointed to a recent addition, a vaguely circle formation comprised of a couch, a two-seater, a chair, a fireplace thickly lined with brick, and a table in the middle, holding many books, "I got it added because I had to do some major research soon after the Sin struck, and sitting on the floor for three to seven hours typically ranges from harshly uncomfortable to flank numbing, anyways, that's the basement." she pointed to a door beside the staircase.
"You can usually find me down there, working, on more magic, don't disturb me, I'm working on something that might help turn the tide of this 'war', as some call it." Joax added, his eyes on his philosopher's stone.
"Anyways, it's a lab down there, next we have the upper floor." Twilight continued, bringing the tour up the stairs, "This is the loft, with a few doors, one leads to the bathroom, one leads into a closet, one leads into the observatory, and that second staircase leads up to my bedroom, this glass door here leads to the balcony." Twilight paused to catch her breath, then added, "We've recently had a lot of renovations, so even I am a bit turned around, but we'll all get used to it." the breathless pony concluded the tour by falling flat on the ground, with jaws full of pain and lungs emptied of air.
She wasn't in the best physical shape, and attempting to speak at great lengths wasn't an easy task.
With everything settled, each of the four went about deciding on their individual sublets.
<cutaway>
Team DOGS was still in tour mode, as there was a lot to cover on the farm.
"... and here we have our other products, y'know, 'sides apples, it's not really smart to grow only apples, y'know," the earth-pony mare showed the four warriors the alternative fields, upon further examination, Sweet Apple Acres was actually about two-thirds, maybe five-eighths apples, the other third dedicated to a lot of other crops.
"So, now then, that concludes the tour of our fine farm. I'm sorry, but we only have one spare room, the rest'a y'all will hafta sleep in the barn I guess, like I said, I'm sorry 'bout that." the orange farmer had a small frown, but soon wiped it off her face and began walking away, "Whelp, I gotta get back to work, I'm sure you four can organize them snoozin' arrangements." with that last statement, she trotted off.
"SCOOTALOO! HEY!" the quartet heard a young voice calling out, Scootaloo flew off of Qrow's head towards the voice's owner.
"Applebloom, hey, what's up?" the orange filly asked her friend, hovering a half meter above the ground.
"I heard that you four are gonna be staying here, c'mon Scoot, it'll be like a long sleepover!" the yellow filly cheered, the young pair exchanged a high-hoof and went off to the Crusaders' Tree-house.
"Well, there goes my friend, dammit, I already feel older being around you two." Qrow joked, flying into the sky, "As much as I would love to share a room with you, my dear sweet David, or Glynda, I can walk on clouds, so I'll sleep on them too." with that, Qrow flew off to gather some clouds.
"Hmm, it seems as though our team is very easily separated, even by such simple things as where to sleep, next thing you know we'll have a formal debate over what to eat at breakfast time." Ozpin observed, he tried to stay upbeat, but with only Glynda with him, it was quite the difficult task.
"Don't be so melodramatic, professor, it only seems that our teammates, little Miss Scootaloo and Orchid Qrow, are lacking discipline, if we could organ-" Glynda was cut off by Ozpin's sudden response.
"Discipline, my ass!" he wasn't one for discipline, sure doing things in an organized and self-controlling manner was really goddamn efficient, but he hated the term 'discipline'
Glynda responded by smacking him on the ass with her Disciplinary Action Scene, aka her magic wand/riding crop.
He jumped in surprise and turned to her, a coy smile on his face, "Oh ho ho, so that's how you want to play it?" he asked, his voice suddenly filled with youth, energy, and emotion.
"What are you going to do about it?" Glynda had the most shit-eating grin on her face.
"I'll tell you something, come closer," the green-clad man lowered his voice to a whisper, beckoning the bleach-blond woman to lean in, "Closer, come on, closer." he coaxed her further.
So close now, his mouth was nary an inch from her ear, he slowly snaked his arms around her neck, grabbing her shoulders and gently squeezing.
Suddenly his grip turned harsh and he took in a deep nosy snort of air.
"TOUCH ME LIKE THAT AGAIN WITHOUT MY CONSENT, AND YOU'RE FIRED!" he shrieked, sending Glynda tumbling over in shock, blown backwards by his voice.
"Duly noted?" he asked afterwards.
"Du-d-dul-duly n-no-no-note-ted." Glynda could hardly speak properly from the ringing in her ears, but she understood the question.
Ozpin walked away to claim his spot in the apple family home, leaving Glynda to the barn.
If it weren't for the actively-unresolved sexual tension between the two, they would be having lust-induced heart attacks.
<cutaway>
Rarity was glad to have her guests over, after laying down the few ground rules she had, she giddily began working to copy the RWBY team's clothing.
One after another, while the others set about claiming the few spare rooms the fashionista had in her boutique, said mare was working down the line with her guests-turned-models.
Ruby was quite hesitant as Rarity measured her form and diagramed her clothing, "I take it you've never done this before, darling?" she understood, most clients were a bit squeamish and squirmy their first time getting measured. Maybe it was just how close they were to her. Maybe the measuring tapes were cold. Maybe it was how Rarity needed her to remove most of her clothing, leaving her standing there in nothing but bra and panties.
Nonetheless, it was soon over and the fashionista had a sketch of Ruby's clothes and measurements, and soon enough the red-clad girl would have a brand new outfit to wear. The unicorn hoped to make something a bit more weather-tuned and comfortable.
Next came Weiss, who stood stock and still while the tapes floated around her. Not once did she flinch, and not once did she speak.
Blake stayed quiet, but occasionally jumped when the cold metal bits touched her exposed skin.
Yang was another story, she was enthusiastic about this, so much so that she had stripped off even her undergarments, leaving her stark form completely exposed to the pony.
"Lift your arms, please." Rarity's skills had come from a long career, starting when she was just a little filly, no older than her sister was now, she had long ago learned about 'full range of motion' that would be needed for properly fitted clothing, so a set of simple commands long since memorized were given out every time.
A few more commands, only this time, Yang was responding.
"Right, now bend your back forward." since the humans' forms were different, she had to add a couple of things.
"Whoa, I'm not really a fan of this position, if you know what I mean." Yang replied, bending over anyways.
The system had been pinned down with Ruby, so the fourth time around was quite easy.
"Okay, now spread your legs..." the white mare remembered Weiss's single complaint, did Rarity really need to measure how flexible these four young women were?
"I'm not sure if I should like where this is going." the naked blonde responded, doing a jump in place and pulling off a splits.
"I don't really know where I'm going either, that should be all though, you can put your clothes back on now." Rarity put her most insistent tone on with that last clause of her statement.
Yang donned her outfit again and set about setting up her room.
Rarity breathed a sigh of relief, and stowed away the charts on the shelf.
She needed to have a lie-down.
<cutaway>
"FAILURES! BOTH OF THEM! They're dead because they were FAILURES!" the head of the demon ponies shouted to his brothers.
The angry red one snorted out a plume of fire, "Maybe you just SUCK! Ever think about that, Lucy?" he taunted, he had chronic rage, and his brother's blaming session was giving him a headache.
"Listen, Belphegor was a lazy sack of shit, and Mammon was only in it for the money, useless shit. All we have left is myself, you Sad, Ass, Bees, and Levi." the suit-clad stallion began assessing the situation, "If we divert forces to take out these Traitors of Light, then we can snuff out the last four beacons of hope, and the world will be MINE, uh, I mean, OURS!" he shouted in a morale-boosting tone.
"I was about to say, what if I wanted some of the world? And how come those humans are traitors? At least you have light to be betrayed by, what do I have? Water, a shitload of water." the sea-blue stallion complained, his incredibly green eyes meeting his brother's ichor-yellow ones.
"There are four beacons left, Ponyville, which is where these vigilantes who call themselves 'heroes' are, they dare to defile MY light with their so-called 'righteousness', Canterlot is where the princesses are, I can't wait to stand over their corpses in victory and carve their bodies into a throne." he stopped to imagine the sensations, it sent a wave of satisfaction through his veins.
"I can't wait to rape them after they surrender, to assert our dominance, of course." the hermaphroditic demon-pony breathed in through his noise and exhaled through her mouth, a sigh of lust escaping its lips.
"Try not to cream your pants yet, Ass, we still have to assess the other two strongholds. Neigh York is one, they have that old-ass 'Statue of Harmony, Peace, and Freedom' from Prance, those timid faggots were the first to surrender, and the first to die. The other is the hardiest country we've faced, Bearussia, they've been mostly unaffected by our forces. The intense cold is deadly to all bur a few of our minions, and we cannot use movement magic in places that we haven't corrupted, so we can't just do it ourselves. Vulcan Complex is run by dragons, but they can wait, most of them have entered their 'century of sleep', so we won't have to worry about reinforcements. Out of Neigh York, Bearussia, and Vulcan Hold, Neigh York is the easiest target." an ethereal map appeared on the meeting table, a map of Neigh York,
All of it was colored in, the luminosity of the map was brought down by the bleach-blonde maned stallion to allow his brethren to see it clearly.
"We burn it, simple as that." the red eyed stallion suggested.
"Not that simple, it's a concrete jungle, no fire would spread past one building, however, with what we've been able to see, the best plan of action would be to either attack the Statue here," the leader pony pointed his hoof to the statue, a pale green mare in a flowing robe, holding a book and a torch, with a crown on her head, "... or here." he pointed to another structure that stood out.
It was blurry, but it looked important.
<cutaway>
Celestia flew around the castle, looking at various ways to improve the defenses of Canterlot.
She needed to relax, but so much needed to be done before she could even rest.
Peering about the landscape, she looked to the towers of the castle itself.
She saw a smudge of pink on one of the balconies, it was Cadance.
Descending to speak with her niece, the solar alicorn landed and stood beside the princess of love.
"Hello, Cadence, wonderful day we're having, isn't it." the alabaster pony greeted, trying to stay in some semblance of happiness in these still-tense times.
"Yes, the sky over Canterlot hasn't been corrupted, and everypony seems to be well off, so I would say that today is quite wonderful." Cadance replied, adjusting her tiara and looking down off of the balcony.
The view from her tower included every single military facility in the Castle Canterlot, she took in a breath of the warm, pleasant air and spoke again, "Right now I'm watching Shiny try to stay awake while reprimanding Captain Warden and Captain Mareon for equipment and policy violations." she had a coy smile on her face, remembering what had made her husband so tired.
"I see, well, I wonder what exactly they're being yelled at for." Celestia replied, looking down at the trio of knights.
Down below, Shining Armor looked at his two brothers-in-arms, disbelief plastered across his face.
"I can't believe *yawn* that you would actually consider this *yawn* a, a good idea!" he half-yelled at Evening.
The light-scarlet coated stallion had, on his body, a large telescopic sight, an full form M79 grenade launcher, a large pistol with a heavy silencer, a bipod attachment, a 'mega katana', and an oversized crowbar, and a lot of ammo, all of this weighed a total of about one hundred and fifty pounds, which was more than Evening himself weighed.
"I'm working on it, bro, don't worry." Evening nonchalantly responded, checking his katana.
"Don't call me *yawn* bro, Warden, I am your *yawn* SUPERIOR!" the blue maned stallion retorted in anger, struggling to keep himself awake.
"Actually, with the sparkly sparkles of my sparkle-ful charm, Hunter Ozpin promoted us to Captains, so sparkle the sparkle and suck your wife's nipples, broooo, you can't pull rank on us, L-O-L." Jeering countered, it was a complete mystery how he had even gotten into the military.
"Well, Captain, if you *yawn* would not bring *yawn* Cadence into this, *yawn* that would be great." Shining was fighting the oncoming waves of exhaustion with all of his might, "How does *yawn* Ozpin's *yawn* word carry any *yawn* weight? He's Spec Ops, he shouldn't have any authority" the white unicorn blinked a few times, he had gotten quite the workout earlier, but was now getting a second wind of wakefulness.
"It carries enough weight to promote two lieutenants to captains, apparently he was also appointed at the equivalent rank of General, so he's got the power, but I think that no one man should have all that power." the tan stallion smiled, he almost never stopped smiling, he was quite photogenic when he smiled, and thus was chronically handsome.
"I don't understand it though. The old guy doesn't even prove his worth, and he gets to be a general, meanwhile I've dedicated more than half my life to the army and I'm a captain. Do you know how much flank I had to kiss to get where I am? I should be a colonel at this point!" the unicorn's unshorn fetlock of his foreleg tapped against Evening's body armor every few words.
"You mad bro?" the blue and black maned stallions replied simultaneously, with huge shit-eating grins plastered across their faces.
"Yes I'm MAD. I'll admit it, I'm really xenophobic to everything, I was five seconds from issuing the attack on that dragon a couple weeks ago, I don't trust those humans, and I don't trust anything that comes out of that HELLHOLE we call the DARKLAND!" the blue eyes knight was seething at this point.
"He's super mad, I think his jimmies are also really rustled, maybe he's butthurt too, Shining, why are you so racist?" Mareon formulated, it was evident that he wasn't exactly 'all there', so to speak.
"I AM NOT.... ugh, fuck you, seriously fuck you, dude, I can't take this, get your horsefly ass OUT OF HERE! Off is the general direction in which I need you to fuck." Shining slurred the glasses wearing stallion, pointing to the sky.
"I will not stand for this racial subjugation, Evening I will cut you if you support him." with that, Jeering flew off from the pair of unicorns.
"Wow dude, not cool, he's my friend, not just my brother-in-arms, not just my fellow-pony, he was my friend, my comrade, and you had to be a giant dickface to him, way to go, Shiny, way to go, talk to me when you stop being a faggot." Evening teleported away. He hated racism, he felt that if ponies would just stop talking about it, it would finally go away.
Any continuation of racism was both idiotic and destined to be scorned and ridiculed.
Back up on the balcony, Cadance had stopped watching and backed up into her and her husband's room, she felt something, like hundreds of voices were crying out, and then were silent... for about one second, then kept screaming, she felt few tears being forced out of her eyes, cold tears, tears that tinkled against the floor.
She looked down, her tears were crystals, a few had shattered, spreading miniscule, icy shards across the floor.
"Crystal tears, it has happened." Celestia knew this sign, the sign of a rebirth, "The Crystal Kingdom returns, Cadence, your kingdom has risen from the blackness, this is wonderful news!" the white alicorn was joyous, a new beacon of light, and one so far north, it was bound to boost morale in all areas.
"I have a kingdom?" Cadance asked, she had been unaware of such an arrangement.
"You're not just the Princess of Love, Cadence, you're the Crystal Princess, that's why your cutie mark is a crystal heart." the princess of the sun revealed, poking Cadance's cutie mark for emphasis, causing the other mare to flinch and wince.
"Oooooh, I thought it just meant I was a good matchmaker." the pink alicorn replied, looking at her flank, which was quite sore.
"You must go, Cadence, with Shining Armor, to reestablish your power as the Crystal Princess, before the Sin seize the Crystal Kingdom for themselves." the pastel maned mare decreed the goal, it was necessary to do this.
If they were successful, the milestone might chip away the wall that held back the flood of power that threatened to turn the tide of war towards the ponies' total victory.
"So, I should start packing, then?" Cadance received a nod, signaling that she was right.
"The sooner you get there and assess the situation, the better." Celestia assured, taking off from the balcony and leaving Cadence to pack up.
<cutaway>
Twilight had recovered from her exhausting tour, and now settled down for the evening with a good book, this one was about engineering, she felt the need to understand how these weapons wielded by the humans were able to do some of the awesome shit that they could.
Compression technology was limited in pony technology, but even Pyrrha's Milo was amazing with its ability to turn from a full rifle into a heavy spear in only a few seconds.
Long into the night she read, recalling details from the battle she witnessed, she had concluded that, if Ruby had built her weapon herself, then she must have had a Master's Degree in Construction and Engineering, as well as a commendable skill in origami.
She read late into the night, falling asleep with her face in her book.
When the lavender unicorn woke up the next morning, she awoke to the smell of pancakes, she got off of the couch and did her morning routine.
Simple, clean coat, clean mane, clean excretory system, clean teeth, then breakfast.
"So, how did you all sleep?" the lavender unicorn greeted, sitting at her usual seat, she found a plate in front of her, placed by a nervous looking Spike.
"Is there a problem, Spike?" she asked the young dragon, all the purple reptile did was hand her a pamphlet-thingy.
"Castle Canterlot Meals and Cuisines, Carnivorous Inclusion version? Spike, how and why did you steal this from the castle?" the mage interrogated, it wasn't exactly a serious thing, since it was only a dining menu, but the principle of theft should be discouraged.
"Ren gave it to me." the little dragon still looked disturbed by something.
"There's something that we've decided that you ought to know, we already explained to the chefs why we would be better off with this menu." the green clad easterner announced, pointing to the title again.
"Castle... Cuisines.... Carnivorous Inclusion?" it clicked it Twilight's head.
It wasn't the most welcome news, that these humans ate meat, but it was vital nonetheless, and it explained the presence of canine teeth in their wide array of dental endowments.
"Well, any more surprises for today?" Twilight seemed a bit grumped by this news, it didn't seem like today would be a good day.
At that moment, Spike belched up a letter from his messenger flames, Twilight caught it in her telekinesis and read it.
"Dear Twilight... come to Canterlot.... important assignment,,,, even I learned this earlier this morning.... it may test the limits of your skills? This doesn't seem good." the striped maned mare wasn't confident about this.
"Let's see, PS, please bring at least one, but no more than four of the Light Warriors with you." she read, looking at the four Light Warriors in front of her.
Nora inhaled whatever pancakes she had left, the redhead was ready for action.
<cutaway>
"ENHANCE, ENHANCE, MOTHERFUCKING ENHANCE DAMMIT!" the light-powers wielding demon stallion yelled at the projected 3D image.
Soon enough, his desired target was revealed.
"We attack here, it has always been a signal of trust, of good times, of hope, and of peace, we need to destroy it, all parts." the bleach-blond maned pony informed.
The red stallion smiled as he fixed his eyes upon the target, it was bold, and he needed something to demolish.
The hermaphrodite just fantasized about copulating with it.
The fat one looked at it while stuffing his face with cookies.
The grayish-blue stallion felt like he deserved something like it.
The tuxedo-clad leader only smiled at how smart he was, how clever he was, and how he was undoubtedly better than his brothers.
It would take a lot of time to prepare, they would need a dragon, the only thing both fast and hardy enough to handle the task.
This would be the ultimate attack, one that would be remembered for decades, maybe even centuries to come.
Their target was confirmed. Well actually, more like.... targets, as in plural.
The targets were impossible to miss, after all, as they were both about nine dozen floors tall.