//------------------------------// // 1. Tacos, LOTS of Tacos // Story: Deadpool meets Equestria // by Novablast15 //------------------------------// Well. This is my 1st fanfic ever. So I might need some help, besides that enjoy (notes) When Wade Aka Deadpool speaks. His mind is another voice. It will be voiced in --> (this)<--- so when you see that. That is him talking to himself in his head, also {this will be used as another of wade's head voices} As the writer MY voice in the story will be [this]Why you ask? Deadpool is insane and breaks the 4th wall, Now enjoy this story peeps.     Chapter 1 Tacos, LOTS of tacos "This little piggy went to the market." BANG. "This little piggy stayed home." Another BANG. "This little piggy had roast beef." BANG, Wade reloaded the sniper rifle as he took a bite out of his food. Sounds of cries are heard in the distance as he nommed on his taco. " Mhmm oh god, so Good. Oh...uh, where was I?(... Piggy had none wade) THAT'S RIGHT." Deadpool took aim. " THIS PIGGY HAD NONE!" Bang. {OKAY!! we get it.. He is shooting a gun! Enough with the bangs!} [.... Fine, no more bangs] As bodies dropped, Wade continued to eat his taco. " MHMMMM, These Mexicans SURE know how to make food!!" He groaned fervently, shooting another round into the chest of the very cook that made him his food. (Why you ask?? Keep reading noob) "AND THIS PIGGY went. Wee wee wee" ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL the way home" He looked into the scope at the man running for his life. He smiled as he took his shot. BANG {I am going to find you writer.. } Wade put his gun up and grinned behind the mask. " AND THAT.. Is how you start a Fan Fic!" About 15 mins later. It was just another job for the Merc with the Mouth; paid and now on his way out, ( psst.. Wadey-poo.. Shouldn't we ask him something?) {Like why did we have to kill the taco makers!} Wade turned to the man who’d hired him. " I realllllly hate asked BUT why did I kill those cooks who made some Kickass tacos?" A very large man stood up. He was fat and built like a tree. Wade looked up at him and said "What? Big man doesn't like tacos? Maybe some diet coke... or a happy meal from Mcd-(WHOA WHOA WHOA.. We don't want to be sued!!) The big man looked down on him. Smoking a cigar, poor Deadpool didn't even know that this man was the crime lord Kingpin. "They didn't make the due date" He spoke as he blew a bit of smoke into the mask of Wade. Wade coughs and waves his hand in front of his face then said. "OHHHH so I get it. He rented some movies from you. Man, late charges cost MORE than a hand and foot now huh? Mhmm Now..What movies?? You don't seem like the "Dirty dancing" type. Mhmm." Wade put his fingers to his chin like he was deep in thought, Kingpin just stared at him, getting annoyed of this Merc. "WELL.To hire me to kill those dudes, It must have been the best movie ever right?" (Avatar?) {High school Musical 2 Electric Boogaloo?} Wade snaped his fingers and said out loud. "OH OH I got it.... A Land Before Time!." Kingpin looked down on Wade, This game he was playing was getting old fast, He leaned down and said in a low voice "Get out" "HEY! That is no way to treat a lady!" Wade replied, feigning a falsetto voice. Kingpin took a long breath and looked him in the eyes, leading to Wade in a rare act of common sense, pipe up: "WELLLLLLLLLLLL. Before you ask me how to lose a guy in 10 days, I am just gonna go. CALL ME! See ya around Killer. BODY SLIDE x4" Wade teleported out with a cheeky smile, back to his motel room. Taking off the teleport belt and throwing it beside the sofa. He stopped and looked at himself in the mirror "MHMMM HMMM looking good wade.. LOOOKKKKING reallllllly goood!" He looked over his tight young sexy body as he eyed himself up, he slowl-{WAIT WAIT WAIT. This is NOT a clop fic. Stop that} [sorry.. got carried away there for a sec] Wade grabbed his Mt.Dew and drank up. When OUT OF NO WHERE an earthquake started (What? Soooo this fics’ based in San Francisco?) WHoooaa" He lost his footing as his drink fell out of his hands and on to his teleport belt. Wade started to fall and landed on the belt. BUUZZZZZZIGSSSUZZZZZZ In a flash of electricity and unlikely occurrences, Wade disappeared The sun was high in the deep blue sky. Just another lovely day in Ponyville.. Spike was on his way though Ponyville; Rarity sent him to get a few things. A few things meaning 4 boxes or cloth, 5 bags of this pink stuff and some lace ropes, though he didn't mind. He would do anything for that beautiful pony. His eyes turned into hearts as he started to float back to the carousel boutique, When. a red glow coming from what seemed like Canterlot and a loud BUUZZZZZZIGSSSUZZZZZZ sound was heard.. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were at Sweet Apple Acres coming up with a plan to get back at Pinkie. One of the pink pony's pranks made Dash's and Applejack's mane go pink for a week.. And they needed to get her back. Dash flew up in the air and said "I GOT IT! Make her believe that she is like, banned from drinking your cider this year." Applejack looked up then saw the red glow "What in the hay?" Right when she said that. BUUZZZZZZIGSSSUZZZZZZ!!! Fluttershy and Pinkiepie were walking the streets of Ponyville, as Pinkie's cartwheels bumped into the shy pony. "OOPSIES. sorry Futtershy!" The pink pony said to her. "Um it's okay, but you should watch were you are going" Pinkie started to move oddly "OHHHH Nelly. This is .. a new one.." "Oh, dear. What is is pink-" BUUZZZZZZIGSSSUZZZZZ! Twilight was reading about the history of magic and how great pony's used it to face evil beings.She flipped the pages and looked up, something didn't feel right. She walked out of her home and looked up. there was a red glow and what smelled like... some sort of.. food she did not know of. She wondered what was going on right as she heard. BUUZZZZZZIGSSSUZZZZZZ!! "Agh, damn earth moving without giving me a warning!!! Wait..." Wade looked around. He was in what once was the maze in Canterlot, now was just a open dirt field. "Uh... this isn't my motel.. .And I really don't want to make a Kansas joke, MHMMMMM I think I have been here or SEEN this place before" Deadpool stood up and looked at the puffy clouds and the sky. "OHH...OHH.. Know." Wade raised his hands up with a smile. "World of Warcraft!!!" (Lets go kill boars!!!) The red glow went away as Deadpool stood up, not noticing anything about his surroundings. A nearby stone statue of Discord stopped shaking and fell to the ground, smashing on the floor. Weirdly though, instead of a crash, a small evil laugh echoed in the maze.