//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3: Rhiannon 
// Story: The Exchange Program 
// by Sozmioi 
//------------------------------//

My eyes widened. "Shush! There's a party in the next room!"

She crumpled her face, but quietened. "She kicked me out."

"Oh. Celestia?"

"No, the tooth fairy! Of course it was Celestia!" she hissed. "And get out of here. I don't need help."

I beat a hasty retreat to the garage. Shankar and Jack were tuning the lyre, and looked up.

I matter-of-factly said, "We appear to be experiencing technical difficulties."

Jack said, "Umm, is she really that bad at using a toilet?"

"Not that kind. I mean, Lyra's gone and we've got Rhiannon back. Celestia was apparently unimpressed."

Jack asked, "Rhiannon?"

"My roommate, the one whose body Lyra was in."

"Is she... like Lyra?"

Rhiannon fumed her way out of the house, looked around, spotted us in the garage, and tromped over. "All right. Where are we, and why? Why are we even outside the apartment?"

Jack said, "I'll take that as a no. I'm Jack, and this is my house. I was lending Lyra this." He held up the lyre.

She barely acknowledged him, instead cornering me, she went on, "And why am I not wearing my protective amulets?" Quieter, she added, "Nor, for that matter, underwear?"

"Amulets? I didn't read the whole letter yet, since I only found it after accidentally freeing her."

"Yes! That was a part of the deal, and by not putting them on her..."

"As for the other, I gave it to her to put on, but I guess she didn't."

"I... that's insignificant!" She backed away, then set out up the driveway. "I've got to go write all this down before I forget anything. Coming?"

Considering I was the only one with apartment keys, I figured I ought to stick with her. That meant Shankar was as well, and when Jack tagged along (lyre in hand) I didn't object.

Her pace was brisk, so it took a bit of effort for me to catch up and keep up. Once we were all gathered together on the move once more, Rhiannon explained. "Look. If anything physical happened to her here, that would only affect me in the long run. Even if she died, she'd be okay and I'd be dead. That's just a risk you have to deal with if you're going to do this. It's expected that the hosts will provide a physically safe environment, and the visitor won't kill herself. I trusted you'd do that for her just as you would for me, and it turns out I'm fine. Great.

"But when it comes to magic? While we're exchanged, we're both extra vulnerable to magical influences, and most of those will follow us back home. Add in unfamiliarity with the environment on top of that and the chances of getting burned are much higher. To make exchanging at all safe, the deal is, it's up to the hosts to ensure the safety of the visitors. And Celestia could tell that Lyra wasn't protected."

I glanced to Jack. Unicorn trap. "Oh. Right."

Jack was frowning intently. "Magic. You are seriously a worker of magic? A witch?" Jack? You were okay with her using magic when you thought she was a unicorn a few minutes ago.

Rhiannon snorted. "Compared to what I just saw? Not the least. She's... she's freaking Aslan."

The analogy made Jack blink. Aslan was a Christian-compatible symbol. "So, witchcraft isn't making pacts with devils?"

"Only if you're an outrageously competent evil idiot, which I'm not, and I don't think anyone is, nor has anyone been for centuries. For the most part, all you get out of it is a degree of protection from some kinds of bad things that can happen to people, and sometimes you can extend that to others. It's most akin to knowing to filter arsenic out of the water. General malaise is a big one. Irrational anger's another."

I'd heard this before, so I put in, "Rhiannon is usually rationally angry."

She was about to retort but stopped herself. "Yes. There's enough wrong with this world that being upset about it is a fair reaction."

We were home. I unlocked the door and she sprinted up. Shankar and Jack followed; Jack waited at the threshold. "May I come in? I..." He just looked so awkward.

Shankar joked, "Vampire?"

Jack rolled his eyes, stepped in, and stepped out again. "May I come in?"

I matched his rolleyes with one of my own. "Yes. Fer cryin' out loud, if we didn't want you around we would have very politely made it clear before you made it this far."

"Really?"

I can only imagine the horror that must have crossed my face. "Yes! What kind of people do you hang out with, that'd string you along, let you carry a lyre six blocks and then slam a door in your face?"

He looked down at his feet, then deliberately stepped in. "Let's not worry about them."

That was when Rhiannon started typing. It was nothing new to me, but neither of the guys had seen her type before, and it grabbed their attention. It was no wonder at all that she had been able to arrange a job - the sound of her keystrokes was like driving rain. The screens filled with text so fast it was like watching smoke rise.

The other three of us gave her room to get it out without distraction; Jack attempted to play the lyre. He of course kept his sense of musicality, but the change of instrument definitely interfered.

After a few minutes, he whispered, "I suspect that lyres were primarily intended for accompaniament rather than solos. There's so little to work with."

Shankar gestured for it, Jack handed it over, and Shankar began tuning it differently.

Rhiannon pushed her chair back and stood up. "All right. Got the important stuff down. Shall I tell it?"

She had our undivided attention; the lyre lay forgotten.

She said:

"I opened my eyes and found myself in a small grassy courtyard in gleaming bright white palace. The sun was high in the sky, and not at all painful to look at. I was an aqua unicorn filly with a few white accents. There were a three of us in a row, and I was at the left. Directly in front of us was princess Celestia herself. She was huge - the size of a large horse, while the rest of us were basically little ponies. She welcomed us tenderly and we introduced ourselves.

Furthest right was a brick-red unicorn colt. He came from a race of squid-like people living in the ocean under a thick ice sheet. His name was a bit on the long side - we called him Aloshuhipitachitel for short. Anything shorter than that he would have found rude (though fortunately he was tolerant of mistakes). His academy sends a student to Equestria on exchange almost every year. He was primarily interested in astronomy, since it was something he would have a great deal of difficulty studying in his own world, and he had a laundry list of other interests.

In the center was a yellow unicorn filly with blue mane and tail. She was really quiet, and let Celestia describe where she was from - she was a roc, from a world where rocs are hunted by dragons. She was studying under an elder roc and an efreeti, both of whom Celestia seemed to know personally. She seemed really nervous, which makes sense since if the pony who took her place slipped up, she'd be dead. Anyway, she asked us to call her Ell, and then she basically stopped talking. She took so much less time that I was left a bit unready.

Fortunately for me, Celestia took a minute to assure Ell that the pony who had been sent to her world had been carefully prepared for it, including getting an advanced degree in keeping her mouth shut (not the original phrasing).

And then came my turn. I said something I modified slightly from a little speech I'd memorized, so I can actually say what I said: 'I am Rhiannon. My kind are humans, a variety of ape, and, like Aloshuhipitachitel's people, we are the sole sapient species on our world. My world is largely ignorant of magic, and what we do know of it is surpassingly subtle, and likely seriously wrong. My mentor was not sure whether to believe me when I told her that my application to exchange had been accepted. She had tried once. I come to learn anything at all - especially those things that might apply to my world and help us understand what we so far cannot see.' Now, at this, Celestia became somewhat concerned. She asked me what manner of protections I had offered. I described the protective amulets and the tests I had performed on them. 

Provisionally satisfied, she handed us off to some other unicorns. One started orienting us on being a pony, starting with walking and moving on up to using the toilet. These aren't our ponies at all - they have really thick legs for one thing, and keep their privates behind a 'vent' - so even though hardly anyone one was wearing much of anything, there wasn't really anything to see.

Anyway, after maybe an hour of that, princess Celestia came in and had some additional concerns to share with me. In particular, the pony I'd exchanged with was being affected by magic in an alarming way.

I described again what I'd set up, and she indicated that if it was as ineffective as that, she was going to have to send me back for the safety of her student. I didn't take it very gracefully, I'm afraid. Another few minutes and she was sending me home."

Then a strong, soft voice spoke, seemingly from nowhere: "Fairly told! Upon speaking with Lyra, I have decided a second chance may be appropriate - she was most insistent on returning. I will need to inspect these amulets, and you will need to entrust me with your true name."

The guys looked at me with alarm; Rhiannon threw herself from her chair and prostrated herself before me. "Certainly, your majesty. May I ask, where is Rachel right now?"

I said, "I'm right here. I... I'm guessing from the way you're acting that I somehow didn't notice that I just said all that."

Three faint nods. Rhiannon stood up and said, "I'll fetch the amulets."

The voice again said, "Rachel, if you do not mind, we will briefly exchange so I can inspect properly. Do not do anything precipitous." I could feel the muscles in my neck moving this time, since I was paying close attention.

"I, uh..." That was when I realized if we exchanged, I'd get to see Equestria. "Sure."

A few moments later, I was princess Celestia, seated on a cushion in a palatial room. The room was off-center within a city. The city was a bit off-center within a nation. The nation was well off-center of a world. The world was the exact center of a bubble of existence, and of special note was a sun orbiting it. The bubble of existence was way out on the edge of a multiverse. The various layers of awareness fled in under a second, but it was enough to leave an impression: Celestia's name wasn't idly chosen.

All that was left to me was that right in front of me was a tiny aqua unicorn filly. Only a few seconds after my viewpoint had solidified into something resembling a single first person viewpoint did I dare twitch. While waiting, though, I decided that I'd keep that information leak to myself for a while. I blinked, and said, "Lyra?"

Lyra reared up on her hind legs. "Wow, it worked! I can't believe it! I really helped! You're Rachel! Is it all working out?"

"Seems like it. We'll know in a minute if Rhiannon's amulets are worth beans. Quick - get me a mirror!"

She thought for a moment and ran off. I tried, very carefully, to stand up. My sense of body proved to be quite weak, so I decided that standing up counted as 'precipitous action' and stopped.

Lyra returned, gasped as she saw me, and levitated up the mirror.

Dayumn, that hair. The roots were pink, but about a third of the way out there was a transition to glowing ethereal infinity. The transition was fading away from my scalp visibly as we watched, leaving more and more pink.

I blurted, "I wonder what would happen if you braided my tail?"

Lyra's mouth opened in shock. "Rachel..."

"Yeah, bad idea. Don't want to risk creating a black hole when we switch back."

I lifted a hoof and felt my horn. It was spiral, like Lyra's, but huge. It had a peculiar lightness to it, almost lifting my head up of its own accord... though as I paid attention to that, I noticed that that effect too was slowly fading - much more slowly. The ethereal hair's retreat was actually accelerating, and a moment later, with a little sparkle, it was gone.

Movement drew my attention - another small unicorn had entered. This one was lavender. Her horn was glowing, and she was levitating a scroll. "Good evening, princess! I finished the essay you wanted."

Lyra said, "Twilight, could you come back later? She's... busy."

Twilight stared at Lyra for a few seconds, then looked to me. She was already drawing her breath to ask me something, but instead shrieked, "Gah! I mean, what's that? I mean, your manestyle is. I mean, umm." She prostrated herself and covered her face with her hooves. I could practically hear her thinking 'shutting up now.'

After dismissing the idea of trying to explain, various alternate ideas presented themselves: "I heard that corporeal hair was very in this century." - "I'm sorry, Twilight, but your princess is in another castle. Actually, more of a low-rent apartment." - "If you would like to leave a message, please say it after the beep. Beep. Sorry, memory full." - "Kneel before Zod!" - "Recite a hundred Hail Celestias and you're forgiven."

Before I could think of anything better, I was back in my body, in Rhiannon's room. Rhiannon's room was on the surface of a planet. The planet was in orbit of a star. The star was part of a galaxy. The galaxy part of a group of galaxies. The group was part of a filament of density of groups of galaxies. The filaments formed a sheet lying along a fractal surface of bubbles. This structure fit into itself like one of the repeating-figure Escher prints. This figure of existence was way out on the edge of a multiverse, indistinguishably close to Equestria at my level of ability to comprehend.

As I lost those perceptions, I became aware that Shankar and Jack both had their phone cameras on me. Then I became aware that my head was getting heavier. Returning to my my thoughts immediately prior to the switch back, I ran my hand through my hair. It felt normal for the first few inches. But then it reached nothing. An impenetrable nothing - my hand just stopped. Slowly, the impenetrable block of hair yielded. I pulled it in front of my head and watched the multi-hued infinity dissolve into hair as I pressed on it.

Now, this would have been surprising at a pretty basic level, but what made it especially surprising was that the harder I pressed, the more the hair kept coming. Perfect, smooth hair, not a split in sight, and already longer than the shoulder-length hair I'd started with. I kept up the pressure, pulling my hair up with my other hand. When the ethereal ends sputtered out with a sparkle and my hand flew free, my hair fell and hung around my knees.

The silence broke when Shankar said, "Ho-oly crow." A moment later, he added, "And it came through on the camera, too. Now, what do we do with it?"

Rhiannon coughed. "Considering that I'm a few seconds from being away for a couple months, maybe a farewell is in order." She gave me a hug and a smile. Aha! She knows how to do that after all! "See you later, and thanks." Turning to Shankar, she said, "Based on the past couple minutes, I've decided you're all right after all." And to Jack, she just said, "Don't get me pregnant."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "That's all?"

She shrugged. "The rest is between you and her, but I do not want to come back to find a bun in the oven."

"I won't get to first base. I will refuse to enter the batter's box. She's just 13 after all."

Her face distorted in horror. "She is? Awww cra... Hi again!" Lyra was back.