The usual hustle and bustle of the castle ceased the moment that Celestia and Luna guided Sniper, Engineer, and their robot companions through the halls. Maids and servants dived for cover, guards braced up, and Nobles visiting reeled back in disgust at the humans and machines. "They'll love ya, she said." Sniper grumbled to the robot Medic. "Don't worry, they've seen worse, she said."
"Ja." MeeMbot replied casually, slowly trundling along behind Celestia. He didn't mind where he was, just that the Dispenser went here. Sniper just rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, I thought ya'd say that." he muttered, before deciding to speak with Engineer. The Texan was walking with his hands in his pockets, looking at the vast scale of the building in awe. Occasionally, a guard would give him a glare, the 'don't mess with me' kind of glare that Soldier would regularly give the RED Team, but Engi simply ignored it; he was used to stares, he was used to glares, and he was also used to being stabbed through the spine with a butterfly knife, shot through the head, set on fire and hit with an axe, falling and breaking his face on the floor, and being gibbed violently by a mysteriously glowing missile or pipe bomb. So, these soldiers acting as though they'd been through some tough times had clearly NOT been to the Badlands. He chuckled at the thought. Ponies? Fighting Pyro? Good God, that's be horrific to watch.
"Hell." Engineer said quietly to himself. "Might as well pick up a few construction tips while I'm here. Musta used a few hundred RSJs to build this one arch, and it's supportin' solid marble, too." Just then, he noticed Sniper dropping by his side. The Australian had removed his bandana at the request of Celestia, in case it intimidated those inside the castle. However, she had, in fact, made the problem worse; Sniper could now glare back at those who glared at him, and even worse for them, bare teeth. The latter had already been demonstrated when he gave a rather terrifying grin at a guard who spat at him, causing the stallion to swallow his pride and cower slightly.
"You think they'll ever be able to get us home?" Sniper asked. Engineer simply batted at the back of his helmet, lowering the reversed hard-hat over his eyes.
"I dunno, man." he sighed. "They've got a robot problem, and we look like the best defence in case something goes awry. But they'll surely have replaced us back on RED, so we don't really have much to go back for, besides family. And...I'm startin' t' like it here." Sniper's eye twitched.
"...y-you don't wanna go home?" he asked, quite shocked. Engineer placed a hand on Sniper's shoulder as the group went through a set of doors to a smaller corridor, supposedly where their rooms were. Celestia halted the group, and turned. "Well, we have your rooms here, gentle...men and robots." she said proudly. "We have three prepared; one for Mr Conagher, one for Mr Mu-"
"Say it and you're dead." Sniper growled at her, hands in his pockets. A guard nearby braced up with his spear. "Same goes for you too, ya mongrel." The guard swallowed hard and calmed down. Celestia glared at him, and continued.
"Pardon me, Sniper," she spat, "And the third room for the machines. Now then, my sister and I shall go and retrieve the keys, since we seem to have forgotten them. You all shall stay here until our return."
"Aye!" Demopan-Bot said cheerfully.
"Mmhmm." both Pyrobots added.
"OK, mate." Sniper-Bot said.
"MeeM!" shouted MeeMbot.
"Alrighty then!" smiled Engineer.
"OK." Sniper grunted. Celestia frowned while Luna simply looked inquisitively at him as they went past. The door closed, and the only pony left was a single guard, still shaken from his experience with Sniper's threatening demeanour. The clock ticked quietly away as the chugging of motors continued throughout the hours Celestia and Luna were gone for. Sniper decided to sit against the wall and sort through his backpack, Engineer sat on top of his Dispenser and play his guitar quietly, and the robots just...watched. After every finished song or tune, they would look at each other, then Engineer, then raise a thumb. They didn't seem to know that Engineer wouldn't be insulted if they gave him a thumbs down. He was a better player when he had a, y'know, human hand. He'd also set up a Level 3 Sentry gun next to his dispenser. It wouldn't shoot anypony, or any of the machines, since he hadn't given it those calibrations, but it was locked, loaded, and chirping loudly down the corridor.
Suddenly, the doors at the other end of the room swung open, knocking into MeeMbot and causing a panicked cry to emit from his speaker. Engineer stopped playing because he found himself...unable to. His guitar strings were completely locked into place, like steel rods that couldn't be moved. Then, he noticed the light blue glow around the strings, and looked to the door in irritation. Stood there, looking like he owned the place, was a group of Nobles, with a white stallion. He had a blonde mane and tail, snarky eyes, and a bow-tie that seemed to come with a collar. He, along with his fellow up-tight Nobles, wede glaring at the humans and machines almost in disgust, as though they were unwanted guests. "Pfft." he muttered. "And when Auntie said that there were creatures in the castle, I thought she meant intelligent beings. You all look like you never even learned to walk until you were around 13, and you robots need to stop chugging so loudly. It's annoying, and I don't like annoying things." He looked to Engineer, who was staring him in the eyes in incredible annoyance. "And you should play a real instrument; learn to play the cello, you abomination."
"Well, excuse me, Mr In-Charge-o'-everythin'." Engi shot back, taking the stallion's group by surprise. "I didn't get the impression that you'd know exactly how mah culture works. Please, inform me of the art of Rodeos, Texan Showdowns, and other traditions o' mah home county." The stallion looked at his companions in shock, then back at Engineer.
"Excuse me?!" he said angrily. "Did you just answer back to Prince Blueblood II?!"
"Yeah." Engineer replied calmly. "And by the way; If we were, as you said, 'unintelligent', then how in the Sam-hell did I build this heavy tripod-mounted machine gun and this, mah Dispenser?" Blueblood was seething. The Nobles behind him looked at the Engineer in approval as he parred Blueblood. Then, the Unicorn snapped his attention to Sniper, who was still sat looking into his backpack of items.
"You there!" he snapped. "Control your illiterate friend!" Sniper looked at him. The glare he gave Blueblood was literally strong enough to incinerate the sun.
Twice.
Blueblood, however, was indifferent. "Answer me, you beast!" he yelled. The Australian sighed, reached into his backpack, and pulled out his Bushwacka. Then, without a word, he put it next to him in clear view of Blueblood, before continuing to rummage through his backpack. The robots were just watching Blueblood, who was now incredibly uncomfortable with the amount of sentient creatures he had annoyed in the past 2 minutes. The PyroBill'sBot, unimpressed with Blueblood, pointed to the door.
"Fmmk mmph." it said firmly.
Several hours later, Celestia and Luna returned. Celestia looked incredibly tired, Luna looked exactly as interested in Sniper as she had been several hours ago, and Celestia was levitating three sets of keys beside them. Engineer sat up and walked over to Celestia. "You alright there, ma'am?" he asked, rather worried. She looked at him.
"Some fool lost the keys." she groaned, placing them into Engineer's hand. "We've been following sources and going on a wild goose chase to get these Faust-damned things, so don't loose them again." Engineer looked up from his key-forgery set, original key pressed firmly into a mould.
"Sorry, Miss, but I wasn't listening." he excused. Celestia squinted exasperatedly at the Texan's act of making fake keys, before pushing past him.
"Fine, whatever." she sighed. "Your room, SNIPER, here's your room, and robots, your room is just here. OK? OK. Be ready for dinner at seven o' clock. Wear something nice, and...preferably not blood-soaked, please." With that, both Princesses left the hallway, Engineer packed up all of his devices, and they all went into their rooms and closed the doors.
A half hour later, Sniper walked out of his room. He was not wearing his hat or vest, instead just wearing his casual clothing; the usual formal brown shoes, red shirt, browny-beige trousers, and aviator shades. He also had his small crocodile teeth necklace, just because that gave him luck and 'social skills', according to the Mann Co. catalog. He contemplated going back and putting on his 70's Chapeau, but that didn't seem...right. It was a formal dinner, and he was obsessing over hats. Another day in the life of a Badlands Mercenary.
Just then, the door to his right opened, and out stepped Engineer. He wasn't wearing his hard-hat, but was, as usual, wearing his goggles. He had his Boots on, shirt done as normal, and overalls still soaked in blood from past fights. It, as it turns out, was all he could wear; He did not have trousers in his backpack, or anything else, but guns. Lots of guns. In fact, most weren't designed for his type of work, but he didn't care: he was going to use every single round available to eliminate any threat that arose. They looked at each other, then at the third door.
It swung open, revealing that Demopan-Bot had not gotten changed, MeeMbot was now wearing a metallic version of the Vintage Tyrolean and a pair of sunglasses, Sniper-Bot was still wearing his boots, but also wearing a pair of sunglasses, and both Pyrobots now had bags of explosives strapped to their back. All of them stared at each other for a moment. Then, the MeeMbot pointed to a nearby clock.
"It is MeeM o' clock! MeeM Schnell!" it yelled as it wheeled out of the hallway with an Übersaw in hand. The other robots let out battle cries and charged out of the door after it, yelling battle cries and waving melee weapons around. Sniper and Engineer groaned, facepalmed, and went after them. Then, when they left the corridor, they turned right rather than left, and it was only a few metres from the dining hall. The robots, meanwhile, ran out into the garden, and began smacking trees with melee weapons. It was absolutely silent, save for the sound of a repeated whung as the Pan smashed an oak tree repeatedly. Then...the distant sound of rapid footsteps. Approaching.
Then more.
Then came the voices, all repeating one phrase, almost endlessly.
"Need a dispenser here!"