The Cutie Mark Crusaders: Buccaneers

by JerryTheHouseGhost

Arr!

“Arr! Steady as she goes!” Captain Bloomington III yelled out to her crew as their mighty ship, The Scootabloombelle, followed the wind over the vast open ocean. “Breezy Belle!”

“Yes, cap’n?” Breezy Belle, master of the port-side breeze and also the navigator on board, looked to her captain for orders.

“How’s the journey comin’ along?”

“Swimmingly, cap’n! At this rate, we’ll be hittin’ the western shore by sundown!”

“Arr! Where be Scoodoubloons?”

“I believe I saw ‘er last in ‘er quarters, cap’n!”

“Do ya mind fetchin’ the lass fer me, Breezy?”

“Aye aye, cap’n!”

“I can’t hear you!”

“What?”

“These seabirds be rustlin’ around our vessel an’ makin’ a mess with the-”

“I still can’t hear you, cap’n! I’ll just go get Scoodoubloons for ya!”

“What?”

Breezy Belle turned around and began walking down the stairs to the crew’s quarters. A rowdy seabird almost hit her in the face.

“Argh! These blasted seabirds be crampin’ my style! We best be rid of ‘em ‘fore we hit the shore!” Breezy Belle karate chopped a seabird out of the air. “Arr! One down an’ fourty-five to go! . . . Garr! This’ll take a whole lifetime! I might as well be fishin’ fer doubloons with a rope! Wait, Scoodoubloons! Arr, I almost forgot about that salty dog!”

Breezy Belle continued to Scoodoubloons’ quarters. When she reached the door, it sounded like Scoodoubloons was talking to somepony else.

“Arr! You can’t take the gold away from me! Not when I have me trusty flintlock by me side!”

Breezy Belle heard the sound of Scoodoubloons’ trusty flintlock going off. She opened up the door and ran inside. “Garr! What did Bloomington say ‘bout shootin’ stowaways!?”

“Arr! Ye startled me, ye scurvy dog! I woulda put a bullet through yer head if I hadn’t shot it out the window!”

“Wait; who were ye shootin’ at?”

“I wasn’t shootin’ at a darn thing! I was bored an’ I decided to make believe!”

“Oh, well the cap’n wants ta see ya on the deck!”

Breezy Belle and Scoodoubloons made their way back to Captain Bloomington III.

“Arr! Scoodoubloons! I heard a gunshot below deck! Did ye kill Breezy Belle!?”

“No; I was fighting boredom, cap’n!”

“Garr! Don’t be fightin’ boredom on this ship, lass!”

“Aye aye, cap’n!”

“How much gold did we plunder from our last encounter with a rival ship, Scoodoubloons?”

Scoodoubloons was the master of doubloons. When she wasn’t having a gunfight with boredom, she was counting doubloons. How somepony can sit down and spend all of their time counting doubloons one by one? Nopony knows. “Arr! I counted up to eight-hundred and fifty-four before boredom tried to steal ‘em!”

“Arr! That’s fantastic!” Captain Bloomington III paused for a second. “Wait; boredom isn’t an actual pony, is she?”

“Nopony knows, cap’n; nopony knows.” Scoodoubloons brought her crewmates close together. “Legend has it that a long time ago, a pirate by the name of Long Mane Silver sailed these very seas. Early one morn’, when his crew was still a sleepin’, Long Mane heard a noise comin’ from above deck. When he went to see what was makin’ a quiet racket, he saw a beautiful mare with a long mane that flowed in the wind. The noise he be hearin’ was singin’ comin’ from that very mare. He couldn’t resist ‘er singin’. No, he found ‘imself walkin’ to ‘er as if somepony else had taken over his body. Before he could reach her, his first mate came up the stairs an’ called to him. This startled the mare, who jumped off the side of the ship. When Long Mane an’ his first mate looked into the water, they seen nopony at all. They be watchin’ the water fer three minutes straight, an’ they’d of watched it fer longer had they not been called back to duty. The mare they seen, they called ‘er boredom.”

“Huh. I’m pretty sure you’ve got yer story all wrong. Ya see, I think that was a siren that Long Mane Silver seen,” said Breezy Belle.

“Garr! I think fer sure that it was boredom who they seen, Breezy!”

“Garr! I’m afraid it been a siren, Scoodoubloons!” said Bloomington. “Them sirens are known fer their enticing songs! Arr!”

“That still doesn’t change the fact that I seen a pony in my quarters, cap’n!”

“Hold on, Scoodoubloons! There was actually another pony in yer quarters!?!?”

“Arr! That’s what I been tryin’ to tell ya, cap’n!”

“Arrgh! You been tellin’ us stories of boredom, Scoodoubloons!”

“Shiver me timbers, yer right! Garr! They might be headin’ off with our doubloons! We can’t let ‘em take our doubloons! If we don’t got doubloons, I don’t got a job on board this ship!”

“Aye, this ship may still find a use fer ya! She needs somepony to swab ‘er decks on a daily basis!”

“GGGGAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!! I can’t be known as Scootamaid, cap’n!”

“Then let’s find us our stowaway!”

“Cap’n!?” started Breezy Belle.

“Yes, Breezy?”

“Might it be a possibility that a salty seabird flew in through Scoodoubloon’s window?”

“Arr, that may be a possibility. Scoodoubloons, is that a possibility?”

“I think not, cap’n! If that were true, then that means I had a full conversation with a seabird!”

“Garr! You talked with the scurvy dog!?”

“Aye!”

“What did it say!?”

“I’m quite positive it be a she, cap’n! She said ‘garr!’ ”

“Garr!”

“Garr! Yes, that be correct! ‘Garr!’ ”

“Let’s catch this bilge rat before she makes off with our doubloons!”

“And my job! Garr!”

“Arr! These seabirds be tryin’ to tell us somethin’!” yelled Breezy Belle.

“Don’t let ‘em get to ya, Breezy!”

“No! Look!” Breezy Belle pointed to the bow of the boat. The seabirds were standing around in some kind of formation. “They be shapin’ words, cap’n!”

“What’s it say, Breezy?” asked Scoodoubloons.

“Why do ya need me to tell ya?”

“I never learned how to read. Garr.” Scoodoubloons lowered her head in shame.

“Arr! It says we should check the brig!”

“I’m surprised that birds know how to speak our language!” said Captain Bloomington III. “Let’s go to the brig!”

“Aye aye, cap’n!” yelled Scoodoubloons and Breezy Belle in unison.

As the crew headed to the brig of the ship, Scoodoubloons said to Breezy Belle, “Arr! You’ve gotta teach me how to read one of these days, Breezy! I think it would be useful fer me.”

“Arr! It be useful fer everypony, Scoodoubloons. Why do ye even have books in yer quarters?”

“I have no idea. Garr.”

“We’re nearly at the brig! Arr!” said Bloomington.

The three crew members of the Scootabloombelle peered into the brig. “Garr! Who that be in our brig, cap’n!?” asked Scoodoubloons.

“It be the skeleton of the last pony we hd in our brig, Scoodoubloons.”

“Who did we have in our brig last, cap’n?” asked Breezy Belle.

“I can’t remember, Breezy. Arr! That probably explains why they be a skeleton.”

“Why did the seabirds want us to go to the brig?”

“They’re birds. They probably were just walkin’ around on the bow of our ship! Breezy Belle!?”

“Yes, cap’n?”

“How did you know the seabirds wanted us to come to the brig?”

“I didn’t.”

“Then why did you say they wanted us to come to the brig? Garr!”

“Garr! I thought it be a good idea at the time, cap’n!”

“We must return to the deck at once!”

“Aye aye, cap’n!” said Breezy Belle.

“Wait! Garr! There be a nametag on this here skeleton!” said Scoodoubloons.

“What be written on it?” asked Bloomington.

Scoodoubloons looked at the nametag, the back up at her crewmates. “I still can’t read, cap’n!”

“Then let’s get ourselves back up to the deck! If we’re not on the deck soon, I’ll have ya both swabbin’ the deck fer days!”

The three pirate fillies made their way back up to the deck of the Scootabloombelle.

“Garr! Those bilge rat seabirds be tryin’ to stage a mutiny! They be steerin’ the ship!”

“Holy bonanzas! These birds are way smarter than Scoodoubloons!” exclaimed Breezy Belle.

“Arr! That be true, you salty dog!” agreed Scoodoubloons.

“Garr! You be no better than those sea-chickens!”

“Garr! I ain’t no sea-chicken!”

“Are to!”

“Are not!”

“You two keep it down! Does you hear other voices?” asked Captain Bloomington III.

“I do, cap’n. Where they be comin’ from?” asked Breezy Belle.

“Shiver me timbers!” yelled Captain Bloomington III. “There be a vessel off to the starboard side! How did ya not smell it on the breeze, Breezy Belle!?”

“I’m master of the port-side breeze, cap’n! This breeze be resonatin’ from the starboard side.”

“Garr! Then who’s master of the starboard breeze!?”

“Nopony, cap’n!”

“Remind me to recruit a master of the starboard-side breeze the next time we’re docked!”

“Aye aye, cap’n!” yelled both Breezy Belle and Scoodoubloons.

“Garr! Do my eyes decieve me!? It be those bilge rats, Diamond Beard and Shivering Spoon!”

“Shiver me timbers, cap’n! Aren’t they the ones who stole our plundered goods the time before last!?” asked Scoodoubloons.

“No! It be the time before that!”

“Aye!”

“Ready the starboard cannons!”

“Arr! I don’t think we have cannons, cap’n!” said Scoodoubloon.

“Garr! Then we be gettin’ in close fer combat in this one!”

“Avast, land lubbers!” yelled Diamond Beard. “Prepare to be boarded an’ havin’ yer ship be taken over by my first mate and I!”

“If ye be comin’ over here and takin’ over our ship, then who be in control of yer ship?” asked Breezy Belle.

“Garr! Our ship can be sent to Maney Jones’ locker fer all I care!”

“Arr! True pirates never be hatin’ on their own ship!” yelled Captain Bloomington III.

“Garr! You lie, Bloomington!”

“True pirates never lie, Beardy!”

“I think ye might want to check the validity of that statement, cap’n!” said Breezy Belle.

“Garr! Don’t question me, Breezy!”

“Aye aye, cap’n!”

“You’ll be walkin’ the plank when the day is through, Diamond Beard! You and yer scurvy first mate, Shivering Spoon!”

“Gar!” retorted Diamond Beard. “I be glad ye remembered the name of my first mate, Bloomington. Remember the last time ye encountered us?”

“Aye; I won’t be gettin’ me cutie mark fer rememberin’ names, that’s fer sure. Garr.”

“What’re we waitin’ fer, Shivering Spoon!? Attack them bilge rats!”

“Be ya talkin’ about them, or the actual rats we got in the bilge, cap’n?” asked Shivering Spoon.

“Garr! I be talkin’ about them! Now attack ‘em before I make ya walk the plank!”

“Aye aye, cap’n! Will you be helpin’?”

“I be Diamond Beard!”

“I take that as a no, then!”

“Garr! Attack!”

“Arr! Fine!” Shivering Spoon hopped from her ship onto the Scootabloombelle.

“Those be fightin’ words! Prepare fer a counter, maties! Garr!”

“We’re not actually fighting, are we?” asked Silver Spoon, taking a step back from the three fillies who were already swinging their hooves through the air.

“Huh? Of course not! We’re just play-fighting,” answered Applebloom.

“Well I refuse to make physical contact with any of you three.”

“Are you serious? What are you afraid of?”

“I don’t want to catch chicken from Scootaloo.”

“I am NOT a chicken!” yelled Scootaloo.

“If you’re not going to fight them, then how are we supposed to win this?” asked Diamond Tiara.

“As if you were going to win in the first place,” said Applebloom.

“Hey! I always win at whatever I do!”

“You wish!” said Sweetie Belle.

“Gah! You three are impossible to be around! Why did Silver Spoon and I even agree to this pirate thing!? Just a big waste of time, I say!”

“Fine! Be that way!” Applebloom turned away from the two fillies who were walking away. “Does that mean we won the pirate battle!?”

“Yeah! I say it does!” Sweetie Belle said excitedly. “And if we won our pirate battle, that means…” The three fillies turned their heads and looked at their flanks, which did not have cutie marks for being pirates. “OH, COME ON!!!!”

“What would pirate cutie marks even look like?” asked Scootaloo.

Out of nowhere, Pipsqueak swung in on a rope with a cutlass in his mouth. “Arr! Ye be findin’ out soon if ye give me all yer doubloons, ya land lubbers!”

“Oh, what the- !?”