Destiny's Call: The tales of a foreigner in a familiar land

by Zenith Starwalker


Chapter 12: Refractory Insight

I found myself in a clearing of some sort, walking aimlessly toward some unnamed destination. There was no light source of any kind yet everything was perfectly clear, my feet treading on top of what could have passed for a void. The atmosphere of the place was shrouded with a murky brand of mist that clouded anything and everything in the seemingly empty nothingness. I couldn’t recall when I arrived or what I was aiming to accomplish in the vastness of the dull space.

I imagine this is what an entity like Sithis would call home. Neither cozy nor cold, just pure unadulterated emptiness’ I drolly observed, wishing for there to be some life in this drag of a place.

My simple desire was almost casually granted as the clouds of mist in the void space coalesced and condensed, forming solid objects in their place. And so out of nothing sprung life, Pine trees grew tall and swayed in a wind that blew over the newly minted frost capped mountains, fields of flowers in every color and breed bloomed and greedily drunk in the sunlight like parched children. A frigid lake shimmered and surged with activity from freshwater fish migrating to their spawning spots up river. I stopped my meaningless wandering and took in the scene with some indifference, I wasn’t much of a nature person but even I could appreciate the beauty that happened to appear simply because I wished it.

That’s when an epiphany struck me, ‘I’ve achieved lucidity! Oh man I haven’t had one of these dreams in forever!

I would have chuckled with glee and wrung my hands together menacingly, but I felt that it would have been a bit much. So instead I set about remaking the scenery to my exact specifications. Instead of the Skyrim-esque temperate setting, I switched it to something more exotic and even alien with a snap of my fingers. The pine tree shifted and morphed into massive bio-luminescent flat mushrooms, the flowers more or less remained the same…save for the new glow and the teeth like stamens, the mountains became covered in thick clumps of moss and other more ferocious carnivorous plants that would have made a Venus flytrap shrivel in shame. And the freshwater lake was turned into sparkling sprite soda… because why the heck not?

I was about to change into one of those stereotypically ridiculous looking swim suits and take a dive in the sugary watering hole when my capering was cut short by a suppressed gasp from my right. I turned around to see the Princess of Night (and apparently dreams by extension) gaping at everything in a confused stupor, she was no longer wearing that ball gown, instead donning a kind of official looking uniform. She kept a tight grip on that sword of hers as though she expected something to attack her at any given moment. I observed her with some disdain, with that feeling reflecting in the dreamscape as a distant crack of thunder. To say that I was un-amused to see her intruding in my brain would have been a gross understatement.

Figures, the moment I fall asleep is the moment she decides to probe my mind’ I silently griped before deciding to attend to my ‘house guest’.

“Something I can help you with?” I directed toward her with plenty of sarcasm.

She looked perturbed of my awareness of her intrusion, “How can thou be knowledgeable to our presence? We masked ourselves perfectly!”

I gave her a dry look, “This dream is entirely lucid, therefore I am self-aware and will notice anything out of the ordinary. Say… a Lunar Princess against the backdrop of the planet Felucia”

She looked around once more with barely hidden awe, “Is this where thou art from?” She tried touching one of the plants only to flinch back as it snapped at her.

“Don’t touch anything, half of this stuff will try and kill you just for looking at it funny. And to answer your question no I am not, this is just one of my many mental screensavers” I responded before re-shifting the scene into something more conducive to our chat and inevitable follow up storm of questions and misunderstandings.

I flashed away the scenery with a snap of my fingers, something that garnered an accusatory glint in the Princess’s eyes. I kept everything the way I originally found it, a starless void that prompted some existential introspection the more one stayed here. I conjured a short table and some tatami mats before sinking to my knees with a teapot in my hands. I also summoned a couple tea cups before proceeding to fill them.

“Would you care for some tea?” I proffered the steaming cup to her, which she eyed warily.

“Dost thou even knowest our favored beverage flavor?” She inquired skeptically.

“Any flavor you want, this is my special-tea” I responded with a smug grin, I haven’t made a good (awful) pun in a while.

She gave me a strange glance before awkwardly shuffling and sitting on the tatami mat, postured in a cross legged fashion that would have made me groan at the sheer ignorance of Asian tradition, but I forced it down with some delicious tea.

Who knew that orange and mint flavored dream tea could be so relaxing?

She kept that malicious stare of hers going and spoke with harsh honesty.

“We don’t trust you”

“You’ve made that abundantly clear Princess, what you haven’t explained is why you foster such animosity towards me” I gave her a pointed look, this cold aggression towards me was getting old real quick.

“Thou blatantly withholds your inner nature and intentions from us, lack the proper respect to show my sister and I demanding of our station and bend what exists with the same gesture that pestilent lord of chaos uses. It should come as no surprise as to why we regard thee with suspicion” She took the teacup I offered her and crushed it in her magical grip to emphasize her point.

That wasn’t very nice

I finished my cup and with a smack of my lips set it down on the table. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she was starting to get on my nerves. I interlocked my fingers on the smooth wooden surface and gave her the most irksome smile I could muster.

“In regard to those three points respectively, perhaps you’ll just have to get to know me the old fashioned way…” That jab got a rise out of her, “I am technically equal to you and your dear sister in the grand pecking order…” That one really made her grit her teeth, “…and perhaps that one gesture just completes the thought? Who’s to say that everything the self-proclaimed lord of chaos did was a bad idea?”

That was the straw that brought the camel low, Luna sprang from her spot and gave me a seething glare that made all her others seem tame in comparison. I thought she was going to break out into the Royal Concordian voice but just barely kept her composure. I probably should have been a little more worried about my well-being, but when someone pushes my buttons so arrogantly like that then it doesn’t matter who you are. You’ll know my disdain and the acidic bite of my words, to say nothing of what I would do if I got physically ornery. Luna drew her sword and leveled it at me; its metal surface gleamed dangerously and just screamed ‘sharp!’ at me.

“Mark our words Zenith, we shall expose thee as the threat thou art. Thou mayest have fooled our sister, but thou shalt not pull the wool over our eyes!”

She then proceeded to slice the table in half as though it were nothing more than wet toilet paper before menacingly advancing on me with murder in her eyes. Little did she know that she was standing right on top my contingency plan. I gazed back at her defiantly before speaking in a soft but self-confident tone.

“I do believe you’ve overstayed your nonexistent welcome here Princess. Perhaps you need a quick time out on the moon again” I punctuated my statement with a snap of my fingers.

The floor she was walking on suddenly opened up and she slid inside the barrel of a massive cannon. Her expression changed from one of intense anger to surprise as she was blindsided by the unexpected move. The candy striped gun whirred and roared to life as it rose out of the pit that I had conjured it from. Its gears ground and gnashed together as it re-calibrated its aim to point straight towards the moon in the background, which I had also taken the liberty to decorate with the mare in the moon symbol, simply to add insult to injury.

The disgruntled Princess was then launched towards her precious namesake without further ado with a loud bang and the extra ‘oomph’ that the shockwave from the recoil offered. Disappearing into the sky with a brief twinkle that Team Rocket could have trademarked by this point. I stood there with a look of casual indifference that lasted all of three seconds before busting out laughing.

Friendship is magic! BEE-YETCH!” I cackled like a madman before calming down and wiping a few mirthful tears from my face. Deciding that my fun was over with I re-summoned that lake full of sprite soda before back flopping into it, deciding to test the kick theory from Inception for myself.

I jolted awake with a start, the last rays of light from the sinking sun seeped in through the tower windows, illuminating everything with an orangey tint. Marking the end of the daylight hours and the beginning of the evening. I yawned and stretched in place, debating over whether I should just laze there or get up and do something. It was a pretty tough choice since Twilight’s old bed was really freakin’ comfy, almost as soft as the clouds themselves (And I would know!). In the end, I decided to get off my ass and peruse the selection that the improvised library tower provided. A lot of it was pretty complicated stuff, books with diagrams and charts, equations and formulas, theories and treatises on the inner workings of magic, maps of the local star fields and a whole lot of other complex subjects.

I mean… I wasn’t exactly slow by any measure of the imagination, but I couldn’t quite decipher what ‘A thousand different ways to think about your thinking’ was even supposed to mean. Did it just mean contempla-ception? Or was it an analysis of how to measure and quantify one’s own thoughts and systematically file them away like a think tank? I shook my head exhaustively, hopefully this ‘saving the world’ shtick didn’t involve too much in-depth cramming or everyone here would be royally screwed.

Heh, that’s quite literal in my case’ I drily noted, the memories of the last few hours then hammered themselves home with the force of a red hot railroad spike.

Doh! How could I forget about my condition!?’ I chastised myself with an epic face palm, the slap echoing across the tower.

I was tempted to pace back and forth before sternly reminding myself that I wasn’t nearly as neurotic as the tower’s last inhabitant.

Okay Zenith, cope how you know best…with rationalizing! Just because you’re a Trifect does not make you a Gary Stu by default. The true symptoms of becoming a Gary Stu involve a multitude of things… mindless love and adoration from everyone you meet for instance! So far I can say with certainty that Luna definitely hates my guts and Daring probably feels something similar’ I paused in my musings, the thought of Daring struck a sensitive chord in my normally guarded heart.

Oh yea… Daring hates me too’ I thought with crestfallen slouch of my shoulders. That was one more thing I had to reconcile in the not so distant future. Not Luna though… nuts to Luna for all I cared.

Right, so that’s a definite check against Gary Stuification in my favor. A Stu wouldn’t really snark nearly as much as I do, with them preferring to act and then express how cool they were. While I just tend to just point out how uncool others can be and encourage them to work on their faults’ I paused in my thinking, I wasn’t exactly a shining example of flawless perfection myself. Don’t want to fall into the trap of hypocritical standards do I?

A dead giveaway for a Stu would be having a portable garage full of cool guns, cars, swords, and the occasional stripper or two. All I got was backpack full of my stuff and a Tantō that seems to escape most people’s notice… and is NOT a miniature Katana!’ I’d like to see someone stealthily sneak a sheathed Katana past anyone with functioning eyes.

Most Gary Stu’s also have an innate knowledge of their powers preprogrammed, as if they’ve always been the greatest thing since sliced bread. I didn’t even know I had wings attached to my shoulders until… Crystal pointed them out to me

I face palmed once again, I need to write a letter to Crystal before I get lost in all the craziness that life is throwing my way! I scurried over to one of the many desks that occupied that tower and pulled out a blank scrap of parchment. I chose to forgo the quill and ink because it was just too rudimentary for my tastes, instead I fished a pen out of my backpack and clicked it before sitting down to write.

Wow, where should I even begin?’ I decided the beginning would be the best, and then carefully word the more recent happenings so as to keep her guessing. The last thing I want is for Crystal to prostrate herself before me the next time I see her.

Dearest Crystal
It’s only been a short time since we last spoke, but already so much has changed since then. My companion Daring and I traveled to the city of Concordia on one of those airships you told me about, and boy was that something. Almost as cathartic as flying under my own power! We arrived at the incredibly lively city and docked alongside one of their many loading docks. After expediently taking care of the paperwork involved, Daring left me to my own devices while she spoke with her superiors within the Institute of Archeology regarding the success of her retrieval mission. Oh right, I forgot to tell you last time that I retrieved that Chalice along with Daring Do, whom Cadence paired me with. You might have heard of her actually, she has this really popular series of adventure novels detailing her journeys; you should give them a read sometime. So back to where I left off, once Daring and I parted ways for the night, I decided to see more of the capital city for myself. It’s quite nice actually, very classy districts all around, although the people can get a bit snooty at times. I attended a Jazz restaurant and was pretty much pressganged into giving them a cabaret that they’ll be talking about for days. I was found interesting enough to attract the personal attention of a well-known Cellist named Octavia who invited me back to her place to discuss more about music. Now before your presumptuous motherly instincts kick in, we didn’t do anything untoward with each other. That would have been unbefitting of a gentleman like myself and a lady of her standing. I spent the night there and some of the early morning hours before Daring tracked me down. Needless to say, she assumed some unscrupulous things of me and gave me the passive aggressive distant treatment after she had informed me that the Royal Sovereigns of all Arcania had summoned me. It’s seems as if I have a penchant for involuntarily meeting with royalty no? I’m not quite free to write down what we discussed, but suffice it to say that they will need me again for a doubtlessly monumental task. I can only hope that I’m up to the challenge required of me. As always you shall be in my thoughts.
Sincerely yours
Zenith

Satisfied with my message, I rolled up the parchment into a scroll and wrapped it with some ribbon that I found in one of the drawers. I contemplated just how I was going to get it sent; I doubted that the rail lines leading to the Krystal Kingdom would be used until they repaired the damage that I had accidentally caused. Sending some poor messenger Valkyrian sap to fly all the way there just to save on time would have been needlessly cruel. And unless Cadence was feeling charitable enough to allow me to transmit the message with her Dragon fire connection with Celestia, then I was short of viable options to use.

Bah! I’ll just ask. It’s not like they can outright deny a fellow Trifect the use of their texting contrivances right?’ I set out right away, descending the many steps leading down from Twilight’s tower.

Once I reach the bottom however, I noticed a huge gap in my itinerary plans. I had no way to navigate the maze of twists and turns that Concordia Castle’s interior was composed of. Having paid little to no attention when the Princess was escorting me to the tower. I silently cursed the lack of any nearby directories in the bowels of the elephantine Royal palace.

It was then that a strange bout of inspiration struck me; I closed my eyes and recalled the memory of Celestia’s warm and amiable essence, latching on to it and imagining it guiding my steps towards her whereabouts. My darkened vision was then lit up by a ghostly string of bright ethereal energy that could have only belonged to Celestia, I followed the trail, eyes still closed as I traversed the many hallways and corridors of the palace. While my newfound tracking ability pointed me towards the Princess, it didn’t quite point out the obstacles that were in the way, evidenced by my bumping into random objects like pillars and old suits of armor on display. Or those could have been Royal guards who were too nonplussed to visibly react to the moron meandering around with his eyes shut and a scroll in his hands… goodness they were quiet.

Eventually my wandering lead me to the stair steps of what I assumed was Celestia’s personal tower. Sighing to myself over the lack of elevators in this place, I grudgingly ascended them two at a time and it still took me a few minutes to scale the stairs all the way up. I happened across another duo of guards policing the entrance to her Royal Majesties quarters who immediately crossed their spears together to deny me entrance.

“Look gentleman, I know how seriously you take your jobs and I can respect that. But can you confirm that I wasn’t expected in any way shape or form before restricting me access so callously?” They remained silent despite my plea.

“Guys, could you at least do me the small favor of knocking and letting her know that I would speak with her? I’m sure she told you to possibly expect me right?” Again they kept silent; it was like with the Citadel guards all over again.

I groaned in frustration before unleashing my whiny voice, and you do not want to hear what my whiny voice sounds like. It’s the perfect and profane combination of heart wrenching squeaky and tear your eardrums out scratchy. I had practically mastered it by emulating all the annoying people I’ve ever met and joining together the worst of their voices in unholy matrimony. Both Rarity and Harley Quinn could learn a few lessons themselves from this Surly Sensei.

“Celestiaaa!!! Your guards are being DICKHEADS!” I decided to use the jerky kind of whiny persuasion for these two tools.

I heard the metal in their gauntlets scrape together as they clenched their spears with barely restrained fury. Whether at my insult or my continued insistence on seeing their liege I couldn’t tell, probably both. They looked close to breaking their legendary stoicism just to clobber me when the door was magicked open by Celestia’s familiar magical aura. I smugly advanced by the guards who begrudgingly uncrossed their weapons to allow me passage.

I came across the Princess lounging across one of those nice recliners that you would find in a psychiatrist’s office. Occupying herself with various manuscripts and other papers that needed the Royal mandate imprinted on them. I suppose even in the evening the Princess was a busy woman.

“Yes Zenith?” She asked, never taking her eyes off of the paperwork.

“Good evening Celestia, I was wondering if I could use your Dragonfire connection with Cadence so I could ask her to pass on a message to one of her subjects”

At this did she momentarily glance up from her work, “What kind of message and to whom?”

“The harmless kind, and the person who discovered me and took me in when I arrived here; a kindly woman named Crystal Clear”

“I suppose that can be arranged, the jar for the Krystal Kingdom is the one with the magenta flame in the cupboard over there” She directed with the feathered end of her quill.

Geez, I need to show her the wonders of having a simple ballpoint pen sometime’ I thought as I opened the cabinet she spoke of.

Inside was a menagerie of jars, each one with a different flame and destination marked on it. I sifted through the collection till I found the one I was looking for. I returned to Celestia for further instruction.

“You have the jar? Good, now all you have to do is pop the lid and ignite the item that you wish to send”

“I still find it weird that burning your messages delivers them at the same time” I remarked with some confusion.

She gave a slight chuckle in return, “It doesn’t actually incinerate the letter Zenith, it merely converts it into intangible information to be reconstituted at the other end”

“Magic is truly a wonderful thing” I replied with a mix of sincerity and humor.

“It certainly can be, yes. Do you have different magic where you come from?” She curiously inquired.

“Honestly you highness? None whatsoever, what we call magic back home is either sleight of hand or another form of skillful illusion” My response gained her full attention as she set her papers on the round table beside her.

“How can that be? Magic exists in everything! Everything from the mightiest mountains to even the lowliest bits of gravel have magic in them! Life itself could not be sustained without the nurturing hand of magic” She exclaimed in confusion, her normally flawless expression sullied with an intense frown.

“It just does alright? Magic is only a concept back in the states, anyone who believes otherwise is regarded as being either incredibly naïve or superstitious by the majority of rationally thinking people” I calmly explained.

“But how have your people found their way in harmony? Who maintains the weather patterns or ushers in the changing of the seasons? The flora and the fauna would simply subsist by themselves?” She paused as the final realization hit her, “Who raises the Sun and Moon?”

Goodness, maybe Twilight got some of her intensely inquisitive nature from her mentor

“In order: they haven’t achieved much in the way of Harmony, the weather and seasons change on their own accord, yes they do, and no one. Some people satirically say that they rise and fall by the grace of God” I answered for her.

“Is this God your deity?” She asked offhandedly, momentarily catching me off guard.

“Depends on who you ask, people back home don’t exactly follow a single faith in unison” I deflected, this question always made me uncomfortable.

“But I ask if this God is your God” She pressed.

“Yes Celestia, the Creator is my God” I conceded.

“So you are a man of faith then” She spoke more to herself than to me.

“Indeed I am. What of it?” I responded defensively.

“I’m just getting to know you better Zenith, is that a crime?” She replied with what she thought was a disarming smile. What it really said to me was that she’d file that fact away for later, something I wouldn’t forget easily. I crossed my arms in vexation before replying.

“If it was, the Spanish inquisition would be on your case post haste and you’d never see it coming. May I use the Dragon fire now?”

“Of course Zenith, you don’t have to ask you know” She spoke, showing minimal bemusement to my misdirecting statement.

“Just being courteous”

I attached a quick note politely asking Cadence to pass on this message to my previous caretaker before setting the message alight. It burned and cremated itself before turning into a wisp of smoke that spirited out the window by an unseen gale. I took a few seconds to marvel at the sight before turning to egress from the room.

“Leaving so soon Zenith?” The Princess expressed with faux indignation at my impromptu departure.

“Well you looked kinda busy, so I thought I’d leave you be once I finished my little errand” I slowly explained, not expecting this kind of theatrics to come from the millennia old monarch this late in the evening.

“Hrumph! Typical man, using a woman up and then abandoning her without so much as a thank you!”

I decided to play along for the helluva it. Even if I was knowingly feeding her inner troll.

“I thought my gratitude was already implied? Perhaps I should run out to retrieve her Royal Highness some Sunflowers and a box of chocolates as a way to formally apologize for my atrocious behavior?”

Her eyes actually lit up in giddy anticipation, “That’s a splendid idea! Here’s your Royal stipend for the day” She lackadaisically tossed a hefty bag full of bits my way using her magic before delivering her (admittedly expected) corollary, “Do be a dear and pick up some Cherry Chiffon cake from Sweet Tooth’s Confectionery as well would you?” She subtly commanded with a gentle smile.

Figures’ I internally grumbled.

I opened my mouth to voice another quip when my ears picked up on the sound of someone storming up the stairs. I’ll give you one good guess as to who that was. Thinking quickly, I scanned the room for an exit strategy and found it fast. Celestia’s tower had a balcony overlook perfect for someone in my current predicament.

“It would be my pleasure Celestia, in fact I’ll get on that right away!”

I sprinted across the room and flung open the doors to the balcony before proceeding to toss myself over the edge. It wasn’t as dramatic as say… defenestrating myself out one of the windows instead. But I heard that shit actually hurts, so I smartly refrained from doing so. I brought out my crimson wings and turned my free fall into a steep glide. Even with the shrill rush of the wind shearing past me as I dove, I could still clearly hear the stentorian voice of the Lunar Princess expressing her monumental discontent.

WHERE IS HE CELESTIA!? WE SHALT FLAY HIM ALIVE AND MOUNT HIS WRETCHED HIDE ON OUR WALL!

She certainly sounds angry, lucky I made my escape when I did. Hope Celestia can successfully rein in her sister’s temper or she won’t be getting any cake from me!

I swooped down to the Palace gardens below, using the powerful beats of my wings to slow my descent until I landed softly on the verdant grass. Using the landmarks I had made note of when Daring led me through here, I backtracked back to the gates where I had first entered the castle property. One of the gate guards spotted my approach and took the courtesy of lowering the drawbridge for me without any inquiries as to my business leaving. I supposed they only needed clearance for those people entering the grounds rather than exiting. I crossed the bridge and politely asked one of the standing guards where I could find the so called ‘Sweet Tooth’s confectionery’ and that I was on an important errand. To my minor astonishment he gave me the full and comprehensive list of directions before chuckling to himself afterwards, probably knowing his liege’s propensity for sweets and the like.

So apparently this frequented confectioner’s was located just at the edges of the capital district, or as it was officially named, the Vertex district. Despite the fact that the Sun had fully sunk beneath the horizon, there were still plenty of people out and about. Going about their various affairs with a certain grace that the citizen’s here aspired to project themselves with. Their gait was preplanned and measured to the point where you could set your clocks by it, the majority held their heads high (but not so high as to appear pompous), and from what scant conversation I could pick up on; they also considered themselves to be model citizens vital to the functioning of society at large. A bit arrogant maybe, but I had no doubts as to their sizable influence on the Arcanian economy in general.

While I walked through and around the gaggles of people, I surreptitiously weighed and measured the bag of bits that Celestia saw fit to bestow upon me. I kept it clutched close to my chest on the off chance that there were cutpurses in the city, I may have felt a bit miserly but it was better to be safe than incidentally penniless (or bit less I suppose). The Solar Princess did not skimp when it came to her comfort foods, there were easily enough coins in here for me to buy half of Sweet Tooth’s shop and I haven’t even seen the place yet!

I eventually found my way there when I spotted the large line of people standing outside the confectionery doors. I grumbled to myself even though I was half expecting this kind of lineup. Within fifteen agonizing minutes of waiting in line and tactfully deflecting my fellow person’s attempts at small talk, I had finally progressed passed the doors. Sweet Tooth’s confectionery’s layout reminded me of a fusion of See’s candies and an old fashioned ice cream parlor with white and black tiling on the floors and a vast selection of colorful candies, pastries, and of course… delectable cakes behind chilled glass. I had to resist drooling a little at the sight of this beautiful display of sugar and focus on the task at hand.

Okay so I have a free hand with choosing chocolates, but I need to grab the Cherry Chiffon cake in particular first

“Welcome to Sweet Tooth’s Confectionery, how might I service you today?” An attendant and overall cheerful looking girl asked of me. She was wearing the full candy makers’ getup along with a boater for a hat, the hat alone made my night more interesting.

“A Cherry Chiffon cake and a box of your finest chocolates if you would”

“A slice or the package deal?”

“The whole cake please” I specified.

She flashed me a coy smile, and for some reason the outfit she was wearing only made it more appealing to my grand befuddlement.

“Who’s the lucky lady?”

“Pardon?” I wasn’t expecting her to ask that.

“Guys don’t come in here and order a whole cake and a box of chocolates for themselves silly! So who’s the golden gal?” She leaned towards me as though she was eager to hear some juicy secret.

“She’s… golden alright. But you’ve got me all wrong. I’m running an errand for her, not lavishing her with saccharine gifts to express some kind of adoration”

“Sure you are!” She cheerfully remarked, clearly not buying it despite my total insistence of the truth. She then gathered the products I had requested while keeping that knowing smile of hers plastered on her face.

I shrugged to myself with indifference while the presumptuous confectioner rung me up. The total cost was only thirty five bits, twenty for the cake and fifteen for the chocolates since it was their supreme selection. I would have considered it pricey were it not for the fact that I was currently rolling in the dough. I debated with myself over whether that was a pun since this store wasn’t a bakery but I dismissed that tangent in favor of more pressing matters. Like whom the original Sweet Tooth person was. From what the girl at the counter told me, Sweet Tooth’s was one of the first confectioner establishments in Concordia and one of the best, even the Princesses were known to frequent the place for all their sugary requirements. Sweet Tooth himself was appointed chief confectioner to the Royal Palace in his lifetime, an impressive career indeed for someone so lanky looking in their portrait. Come to think of it… this Sweet Tooth has suspiciously orange looking hair.

Maybe he’s Carrot Cake’s great ancestor or something

I set out with my newly acquired aliments in search of a florist. I wasn’t quite expecting to find one open in the early hours of the night, but sure enough I found a stand with a rather bored looking vendor tending to the cut flowers in order to keep them fresh. This vendor deviated from the normal populace in the fact that she was an agrarian. She looked quite surprised to have a customer so late in the evening, but was more than happy to accommodate me with a nice bouquet of Sunflowers. Since I had accomplished all of my objectives, I debated over immediately returning to the castle or shading out my inevitable confrontation with Luna. In the end I picked returning to the palace since I currently had no way of providing refrigeration for the cake and chocolates.

I trudged past the many well-dressed natives and ignored their loudly voiced opinions against my simple attire of jeans and a T-shirt, criticisms such as ‘tasteless’ and ‘gauche’ aren’t really something that gets to me. It’s called casual wear for a reason; these judgmental, ostentatious, top hat wearing jackholes wouldn’t know the difference since they were born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Although I had a strange feeling that the next time I would be doing errands on these streets I wouldn’t be so under-dressed for the occasion.

I shifted the bundle of offerings in my arms as I neared the drawbridge leading back into the castle grounds. My possessions seemed to draw the attention of quite a few of the more casual guards patrolling the walls above who whispered among themselves and chuckled, I picked up on the words ‘Royal stooge’ and growled to myself at the jab. I was no one’s lackey (especially not Royalty!) and they would come to regret the next time they dared assume such a thing of me. I’m guessing that Celestia had me cleared with the gate defenders because they lowered the drawbridge without any hassle on my end. I nodded to myself at the convenience and decided to make use of my wings to skip having to scale up the stairs to the Sun monarch’s room all over again.

I found the Princess waiting for me with a neutral expression on her face as she sat in an elegant looking chair by her desk. I assumed that Luna had explained in detail to her sister exactly what she thought of me. I used my newfound ability to scan for her in the shadows in case she felt like eavesdropping on the ensuing conversation, finding nothing to indicate her presence immediately nearby I addressed the contemplative looking Princess.

“I got what you wanted Celestia, and made good time too!” I was always the efficient type.

“Set them aside for now Zenith. We need to talk” Her tone was decidedly serious.

Gah! The four words that every red blooded male hates hearing

“What is there to discuss?” I wasn’t quite obfuscating ignorance since Luna could have said any number of things to get me on her sister’s bad side.

“Shortly after you left, my sister brought to my attention some observations she had made about you”

“You mean the time she was intruding on my dreams earlier?” I sarcastically stated with a raised brow.

“I am aware of my sister’s inability to trust that which she deems suspicious, your resilience against auric discernment spells is rather curious. There are very few beings capable of resisting magic of my sister and I’s magnitude”

“Yeah, Cadence tried scanning me to check if I was something called a changeling and seemed to be surprised by something. I’m guessing that was it”

She nodded in affirmation, “Indeed it was. Since you were impervious to auric spells, Luna decided to better gauge your character by observing your dreams”

“I won’t abide by people who dig around in my head without my approval your highness, regardless of who they are” My tone warned against further trespasses in my psyche.

She shook her head, “My sister’s acts are of her own accord and I do not condone them in the slightest. I believe in giving a person the benefit of the doubt before judging them so resolutely. It’s a good thing you left when you did, I only managed to persuade her not to eviscerate you the next she saw of you. Especially for that last stunt you pulled on her”

The way she put it was probably meant to make me feel guilty about it. But something in her admonishing tone was enough to dissuade me from feeling faultless.

“And I thank you for that” I scratched the back of my head timidly, “I guess launching Luna into a representation of her moon with an Über cannon might have been a bit much huh?”

She momentarily dropped her serious demeanor to allow for a brief giggle, “That was just cruel of you! Don’t you know she abhors being reminded of that particular tidbit of her past?”

“Can you blame me? She was this close to cutting me to ribbons in my own dream! You don’t just intrude in a man’s private dojo and not expect him to open up a can of whoop-ass on you”

“Be that as it may, Luna will only give you a chance if one of us is allowed to see into your mind so that we may better understand your heart. She does not feel at ease around someone who could be an eldritch horror for all we can tell” She concluded with a short titter, obviously not meaning it literally. Although with the subject at hand, she may not have been that far off. As I made clear with my next statement.

My brain is not a nice place to be” I ominously spoke before adding a logical point.

“Besides, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of trusting someone the normal way?”

“Yes it does, but my sister and I have lived long enough that we prefer to err on the side of caution. Your cooperation will also serve to propagate the trust that I have given you” She emphasized the last sentence deliberately, guilt tripping me into agreeing I suppose.

“Additionally it will also get Luna off of your case, and allow me to get to enjoying those lovely looking treats you’ve so gallantly retrieved for me” She eyed them with an almost longing expression.

I sighed in resignation, “Fine… but just you. Luna lost the privilege of rummaging through my brain when she ruined my dreamscape montage with her bellicose presence”

“Then let us begin” She directed me to her recliner, I laid back in comfort as the soft leather enveloped my form. Once I felt adequately settled in, I asked my question as I shut my eyes.

“So how will this play out?”

“Just relax and empty your mind of anything that whittles away at your sense of inner peace”

“I don’t know Celestia… there’s quite a bit of that”

“Then focus on something tranquil instead, calm the storm in your mind. The less turbulent your thoughts, the easier this will be for the both of us”

I did as she asked, closing my senses to the world. Not paying any attention to the dim lighting of the room, not hearing my breathing as my lungs contracted and expanded with every breath, not allowing the intense softness of the leather recliner to impede my progress, not letting the pleasant aromatic perfume that the Sun Princess wore suffuse through my nostrils, and not feeling the thrumming energy that built up by my side. What I did feel however what a faint vacuuming sensation at the back of my mind that grew stronger with every passing second. Eventually it got so strong that all of my senses were cut off in their entirety, I opened my eyes to see nothing at all whatsoever. Indeed, I had returned to that formless void with infinite possibilities.

Well… better spruce up the place in anticipation for the latest visitor in my head

I decided to go with the hotel entrance look, taking a page from the Bellagio’s front lobby with the coffered roof and an upside down flower garden showcasing a spectrum of various colors. Unbidden, I heard a faint song being played in the background that served to foreshadow the absolute absurdities to follow. Smiling to myself at my inner creativity, I went ‘backstage’ to make a few adjustments before lying back on a conjured lounge chair with a tall glass of virgin mimosa. Satisfied with the presentation of the open house, I went to take a sip of my newly created drink.

Matrix was right; this does taste like the real deal!

Soon enough, swirls of bright light coalesced in the center of the lobby and everyone’s favorite Sovereign of the Sun showed up in that bright flash that she was iconic for. She observed the deceptively tidy entrance lobby with a hint of caution, like she was expecting a nasty surprise to rear its ugly head at any moment. I couldn’t blame her since she was in for a few surprises, although calling them nasty would be a stretch. I gave her a friendly wave and beckoned her closer.

“Heyo Celestia! Welcome to the beautiful Château Zenith! Conveniently located inside my own cranium!” I greeted her in my best impersonation of Steve from Borderlands.

“Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting anything so…organized” She said mostly to herself. I felt kind of insulted by that to be perfectly honest.

I rolled my eyes as I got off the lounger, “I intend to make this process as straightforward as possible, but allow me to lay down some ground rules before we begin” I held up a finger, “First and foremost, this is my mind that we’re exploring here. So I need you to bear in mind that not everything you see can be easily explained, not even by myself”

I held up a second finger, “Rule number two is a follow up of the first, I will answer what I can and only if I feel comfortable doing so”

“As long as I do not see the need to press for more, I can agree to that” She interposed, likely needing to insert some of her own authority so as not to be completely subject to my whims.

I held up the third appendage, “Rule number three is very important, do NOT stray from my side. There’s a lot of hidden nasties in my head that would like nothing more than to find and erase you. Think of the relation between an antibody and a microbe” I also needed to keep an eye on her to make sure she didn’t do any unsanctioned snooping.

“Your mind is very well fortified for someone so young, how did you achieve this level of defense?” The Princess inquired with a curious look in her eye.

“I know my mind better than you’d think your highness. Being more on the introspective side of things only strengthened the bulwark” I explained as I led her to the ‘elevator’ and pressed the button, the wait not taking long since it was only a visual metaphor.

We got into the compartment that wasn’t playing any cheesy elevator music since I thought of myself as being more refined than that. The panel had a large number of ‘floor’ buttons that each represented a part of my head. Things like memories, opinions, beliefs, and etcetera were just the push of a button away. I decided to be a gentleman and ask where the sovereign wanted to go first.

“Let’s start with your memories first, I wish to see what kind of world you originated from”

“Okay, but fair word of warning. My memories can be a bit of a mess, there are also some things that I have exiled to the back of my mind on purpose”

“And why would you feel the need to do so?”

“There are just some things that I’d like to remain buried” I expressed with detachment, not wanting to explain any further.

I pressed the button for the memory floor and built up my stoic countenance. The elevator dinged and opened its doors to reveal what could only have been described as organized chaos. Or as I liked to call it, Bizarrchitecture. Non-Euclidean shapes were abound as a labyrinth of staircases zigged and zagged between corresponding memories, each locked behind doors that opened like the irises of a Stargate with metallic overlapping blades that closed in each other. Ladders and pillars running parallel and perpendicular to what constituted the ground provided additional nuances to an already complicated setting. The Princess standing next to me looked somewhat discouraged by the sight, not that I intentionally designed it that way or anything.

“So which memory would you like to view first? I’m sure my early adolescence is somewhere in this maze of the reminiscence” The Princess stood there in stunned silence at the spectacle before slowly speaking.

“In all my years I’ve never seen anything this convoluted in scope. No other individual save for Discord has anything so jumbled and disorientating to look at”

“Well it’s a good thing we’ve got a virtually indefinite amount of time to sort it out then hmm?”

Celestia’s last comment made me internally scoff. Discord would probably have added something juvenile like checkered porpoises and flying pigs. I may be a strange individual, but I usually get straight to the point when I want to make a statement. No lollygagging or trifling around is my modus operandi.

“How do you know that we are not limited by conventional conceptions of time?” She dubiously asked.

“Simple, I’ve seen Inception”

And that was the only answer she was going to get from me as I enthusiastically set off to choose a door at random. I’ve never been this hands on with my own brain before after all. I walked downside up one of the stairs that led to a door called ‘Christmas Mornings’ before knocking on the iris of the door. It opened slowly as the light poured out from the expanding opening and into my eyes, bringing with it the memories of my favorite Christmases. It also included every sense to go along with it, the smell of the gingerbread men and houses that I would meticulously decorate before devouring in one fell swoop as a child, the laughter of my grandparents who would come to visit from across the sea in my later years, and of course the joy I felt from when I opened presents that had something awesome in them or even the disappointment that sunk into my very being when it turned out to be something lame like clothes that were a size too big (My grandparents said it was so I could grow into them, even though I cannot recall ever having worn them despite doing so). But the most powerful feeling of all was the love that permeated the atmosphere, still strong despite being only a memory. The flow of imagery dissipated after a while, leaving a faintly evocative touch upon my heart as it faded away behind the closing iris. Were it not for the intense stoicism I had screened myself with earlier, I’m sure I would have been shedding tears of nostalgia.

“So your people celebrate this ‘Christmas’ in place of our Hearth’s Warming” Celestia noted beside me, having experienced the same memory I did. Her eyes were even misty with the heartfelt emotions that initially belonged to me.

“Partially correct, only traditional American’s call it Christmas though. The politicians felt it was more inclusive to name it ‘The Holidays’ instead” I replied with another roll of my eyes, politics always did strike a negative chord with me.

“How can you re-experience such profound and joyful emotions and yet remain so apathetic?” Celestia exclaimed with confusion, temporarily ignoring the revelation of my nationality prior to arriving in Arcania.

“They’re memories Celestia, what I felt then has no relevance on how I feel here and now” I left her to mull on that while I walked a ground paralleled corkscrew staircase to the next door.

Good thing gravity has no meaning here’ To my relief, my inner thoughts were not expressed aloud in the chamber of my own mind. Although the walls did warp in color a bit in response, so it was not without effect.

The following door was labeled with an acronym ‘PTDND’ and made me widen my eyes in response. I did NOT want anyone to see what was behind those doors if I had anything to say about it.

“What’s behind this one I wonder?” As if on cue, Celestia reached out to touch and activate it. I swiftly conjured an impressive series of locks and chains that barred her access and made a loud series of thuds as they dropped in place.

“That’s off limits Princess!” I grabbed her arm and forced it down to her side again.

“Is there something you do not wish me to see in there?” She asked with a suspicious edge in her voice.

“Do you know what that stands for?” I pointed to the letters above the door and she shook her head in response.

“Private Thoughts, DO NOT DISTURB. You may have been around for a very long time Princess, but without a doubt there are some things behind that door that will leave a permanent scar upon your very soul! Next door now!”

I wandered off in a huff, smarting at how close I came to being in deep water. There were more than a few skeletons in that closet, and one of them revealed that I had foreknowledge of this place. Even if it was indirect in its nature, that would have raised more questions than I would have liked to answer. Plus I really did not want to mar the fragile relationship that Celestia and I had only just established. Not to mention that it contained all of my more prurient thoughts too, and no one save for me should have that in their head.

The next door was a little more innocent, ‘Disneyland Magic’ and prompted a raised brow from a relatively miffed looking Princess.

“You told me that you did not possess any magic back home”

“We don’t, but that doesn’t mean that the concept of magic doesn’t exist there. And that a certain business company hasn’t strived to achieve the next best thing in its place” I tapped on the door to show her what I meant.

This time the memories were of rollercoasters and theme parks, cotton candy and glowing spinners, those mickey eared hats that every young child loved to wear, water rides and animatronics of various characters, and of course the fireworks that occurred every night the park was in operation. To this day, the memory of riding Space Mountain and Star Tours for the first time still brought a smile to my face, as evidenced by the small grin to grace my features as the memories gradually ended.

“That was certainly…something” The Princess spouted with uncertainty, “Do other sentient creatures inhabit your world as well?” She asked in succession, probably in response to the speaking machinery.

“Nah, those are just robots” I waved off her bemusement before searching for a door that would better explain technology to her. I found it in the form of a conveniently named ‘Wonders of the modern world’ portal.

“Ready to have your mind blown?” I asked her with a cheeky simper, with her cautiously nodding in return. She’d need to brace herself for the incoming whirlwind of information.

This door was like all of the modern marvels episodes all wrapped up into one. Showcasing all the various things that I took for granted (Thank the Lord I still have my laptop and IPod!) before being raptured over into this world. Everything from dragsters to space shuttles buzzed by in a flurry of information that would have made me dizzy if this wasn’t my own head. Memories of common things like automobiles and airplanes that ferried us around in bulk from anywhere to the grocers to across the planet in only a matter of mere hours sped through my recollection like greased lightning.

Spectacles such as laser lights and tesla coils dazzled and amused people like me the world over. The wonders of the information superhighway (No one calls it that!) allowing limitless knowledge to accessed with such a simple notion as the push of a button. Social networks and multimedia devices that stole the attention spans of millions. Video games were my particular vice; I’d spend hours at a time with my gaming sessions. Endlessly accomplishing intangible deeds all from the comfort of my deskchair.

To my dismay, it also reviewed a lot of military technology as well, and I watched a lot of Military channel in my free time. Attack helicopter gunships and main battle tanks fired their lethal payloads at unseen targets, entire strips of land being turned into slag by strafing runs, and how else to finish off a montage of destruction than with the mushroom cloud from a thermonuclear explosion? It was almost as if I subconsciously wanted my mental passenger to know how just far my people have advanced in terms of lethality. It was appallingly obvious that our technology had exceeded our humanity indeed.

As the stream of information ended I stood solemnly in silence with the Princess actually panting in exertion at absorbing all of that data. When she sufficiently recovered, she gave me a fearful gaze and hesitantly made her inquiry.

“What was all that? It was so much to comprehend; I can barely make heads or tails of it”

“That dear Princess, is the double edged sword of modern technology, knowledge that could shake this world to its very foundations. Something I hope you can keep between us… unless the most dire of circumstances presents itself and requires the knowledge I have locked within”

“Some of those machinations looked familiar, like incredibly advanced versions of the marvels that they’re pioneering in Steelhatten”

Is that this world’s variation of Manhattan? How quaint

“Hmm… you’ll have to tell me more about that sometime” I remarked as an afterthought. Celestia continued on as if she hadn’t heard me.

“… others were so terrible, an explosive device that could turn entire cities into smoldering wastelands? How monstrous a world you must live in, to know that your very civilization could be destroyed in nothing more than a flash of light and a wave of heat. And by using the same process as the one that fuels my precious Sun”

She spitefully finished as she leveled her sight at me, she looked angry… though not with me, more so at the idea that people could create such horrific things in the first place. I was honestly expecting this and responded in kind.

“You’re not gonna give me the whole, your people are monsters outlook for inventing weapons of mass destruction are you? Have you just decided to ignore everything else? The advances in medicine that allow us to render entire diseases as things of the past? To mend broken bones without needing to slice a patient open? The capacity for bringing humanitarian aid to anywhere where it’s needed? The augmentation of agriculture that lets us sustain countless billions of people?” She still looked unconvinced, even if her eyes widened at the billions fact. So I resumed with my reasoning.

“You take the good with the bad dear Princess, as with everything else in life. Yes, my people are capable of making great evils… but they are equally capable of bringing great good into the world as well. If that were untrue, we would have wiped ourselves of the face of our planet eons ago”

My words seemed to have a perspicacious effect on her as her hard stare softened and her eyes lowered in pensive meditation. She looked back up at me with a somber expression, the youthful vigor in her eyes had depleted to the point where she looked a lot older than her immortal visage disclosed. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes before emptying her thoughts.

“Perhaps I have been too quick to judge, I like to think that with my age has come sufficient wisdom to see existence as it truly is. But within moments of realizing that reality is a good deal larger that I believed it to be, I became reactionary in my conduct and in doing so, disgraced the good esteem of the position I uphold”

She opened her eyes again and looked at me with a more humorous gleam in them, “It’s a good thing you had decided to reveal all of this to me. I don’t know how my dear sister would have reacted to such things; simple things like toasters frighten her thoroughly. The first week of her return, she blasted a gaping hole in the Royal kitchen!” She brightened up the surroundings with her melodious laugh.

I chuckled despite myself, recalling a rather adorable picture of a toaster Luna, “There’s a funny image, dour Luna shrieking at the toaster popping up bread and blasting it to kingdom come”

“So do you wish to see more? We’ve barely scratched the surface of who I am and everything is remarkably more tame in comparison to what you’ve just experienced” She didn’t even consider it before answering.

“Perhaps another time, I’ve seen enough to know you aren’t anything like Luna fears you to be. A great deal different than anyone else on this Earth, but a good person at heart”

“And how exactly do you know that with certainty? I haven’t shown you everything you need to see to make that judgment for yourself” I skeptically ejected.

She gave me that same friendly smile from earlier, “You don’t need to. I can see it in your eyes” With that her bindi lit up and I felt everything around me disperse like fog in the warming rays of the Sun.

I was back in Celestia’s personal chambers in the same exact spot as I had ‘left’ it, although I discovered some new additions on my person; such as Celestia’s incredibly soft hands on my forehead. It was kind of an awkward situation for me, but I did my best not to show it. I proactively cleared my throat to get her attention since her eyes were still shut in concentration.

“You can let go now your Highness, my forehead isn’t really in need of a massage”

She did so slowly, as though cancelling her mind delving spell was a delicate process. The golden glow of her bindi died down to nothing, signaling that her spell was finished. She inhaled deeply before exhaling in a very yoga like state of entrancement. She opened her eyes and looked down at me with that same amicable smile.

“I trust that our business here is concluded?” I asked as I bent forward in my seat to stretch my back.

“Indeed it is” She replied as she rose from my side, “I suggest getting a good night’s rest Zenith, for I suspect you will have a long day ahead of you tomorrow”

“I hope you don’t mean that too literally. What about Luna?” She still harbored some resentment towards me after all.

“Leave her to me Zenith. I’ll get her to relent from her aggressive stance towards you”

“I am most grateful your Highness, I’ll leave you to your treats then” I said as I exited the room.

And with that I walked to her balcony, spread my wings, and took flight. Heading back to my tower loft, a few of the guards patrolling the skies took notice of me but backed down from any defensive action when they verified my identity. I touched down on my balcony next to the planters and made headway to the lovely sofa bed that smelled like its previous occupant. Plopping down with tired sigh, I pondered about the things that would happen tomorrow, or if Luna would feel brave enough to invade my dreams a second time. I casually dismissed the notion before clearing my mind of any other worries and letting the tender embrace of sleep claim me once more.