It is a good day today. The weather isn't the nicest, but it's a good day nonetheless. Hell, the weather didn't even matter to Patrick Stump, lead singer of the rock band Fall Out Boy. The big concert that he was preparing for was indoors anyway, a bit of rain won't hurt.
The concert was packed full as was expected. Full of thousands of screaming fans waiting to see their idol perform live.
Patrick was currently in his recording studio with the rest of his band members, an hour's drive away from the theater in which his concert was being held.
"Patrick," bassist Pete Wentz called from across the studio "get over here, no time for fooling around. We're out of here in a few hours."
Patrick was busy admiring himself in a gigantic mirror that was almost as large as his ego.
"Looking sleek there, Stump," he thought to himself as he ignored Wentz's pleas "maybe one day you'll look as good as that damn guy from that other band. What was his name? Brendon Urie or something like that."
Wentz strided across the studio and slapped Stump on his shoulder, snapping him from his moment of self-praise.
"Stump! Didn't you hear a word that I said?" he snapped "We've got to get to rehearsing before the concer-"
Wentz is abruptly cut off by a harsh grinding noise as a large blue box materializes in the middle of the studio.
"What... what... what..." Wentz fumbles in amazement
A set of doors on the strange contraption - was it a police box of some sort? - swing open.
A strange man peeks his head out of the box and, seeing no threats, fully exits his "transportation."
"How... did... no... no..." Wentz stumbles and passes out, limply falling to the floor
"Hello, I'm the Doctor," says the man that came out of the blue box "sorry about your friend, I usually get those kinds of reactions form humans."
"You're a Doctor? Doctor who? How did you get here... in that police box... thing?" another of the band members asks, frozen where he stands by the shock of what just happened.
"One question at a time please," the Doctor says, not missing a beat "I'm simply the Doc-"
"You're the Doctor, the last of the Time Lords," Stump mutters "you've come here in your TARDIS, which is a time machine that is permanently disguised as a blue police box because the Chameleon Circuit is broken beyond repair"
"Actually, the Chameleon Circuit is perfectly repairable," the Doctor corrects "I like the TARDIS this way! I've just one question, how do you know all of that stuff about me?"
"Because I am awesome. Really, really awesome" Stump cooly and truthfully responds
"Fair enough," the Doctor replies "if I can be the Doctor, you can be the... er... Awesome. No, that's not fitting... what is your name?"
"My name is Patrick Stump, and I am cool. I was born in Awesometown, Awesomeville, Awesome City, Illinois" Stump says, perhaps SLIGHTLY exaggerating his place of birth, which was awesome nonetheless
"Nice to meet you. I was on my way to Barcelona - the planet, not the city - when the TARDIS abruptly brought me here. I haven't the slightest idea why," the Doctor continues "but I should tell you about a danger that is present in this very studio since I'm here."
"No danger is too dangerous for me, Doctor," Stump responds without even flinching "my coolness tends to ward off potential danger."
"Yeah well this is a danger that coolness alone, as much coolness as you may have, cannot stop." the Doctor says, hardly even noticing Stump's gigantic ego
"So Doctor, what's the danger?" Stump says, still looking at the mirror and admiring himself
"A portal. A portal to another world. In this very studio." the Doctor warns "Do NOT. I repeat, do NOT go through the portal. It leads to a world where there are colorful little equines that are just waiting to dissect you"
One of the band members finally gets past the initial shock of the large blue police box that materialized randomly in the middle of the studio.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" He shouts, extremely confused and pinching his arm repeatedly to assure himself that he is not dreaming
"I really, REALLY need to get to Barcelona," the Doctor calls, rushing inside of his TARDIS "Kbye and remember, stay away from the portal or you'll diiiiieeee!"
One dematerialization later, the blue spacecraft disappears, leaving Stump and 3 nauseous and/or unconcious band members behind.
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Stump knows what he must do. He immediately locates the portal in the studio and runs right through it. As Stump emerges from the other side, the portal seals shut behind him. Oh well.
Stump looks around, studying his surroundings. He's in some sort of ornate building, a palace or a castle, perhaps. He calmly walks away from the dark corner that held the portal and starts down what appears to be a primary hallway.
"You there! Stop!" Shouts a voice from up ahead
Stump instantly identifies the voice as belonging to a... colorful, talking pony.
A colorful, talking, flying pony clad in armor and wielding a spear.
"Stop," the equine repeats "and identify yourself, in the name of Celestia!"
"Iamreallyreallyreallycool" Stump mutters
"What did you say, creature?! Identify yourself or be destroyed"
"I SAID. I. AM. REALLY. COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. OH MY GOD I AM COOL AND I HAVE THE SECOND-BEST VOICE IN THE UNIVERSE!" Stump shouts while still managing to keep his ultra-cool poker face on
"Second only to that one guy from that other band. His name was Brandon or Brendon or something. Brendon Urie I think." He mutters as an afterthought
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One hit to the head with the blunt part of a spear later, Stump wakes up in what he identifies as a throne room, bound to a metal chair via strong leather straps around his wrists and legs. He sees a relatively tall equine being standing before him, flanked by two of the guards that had knocked him out earlier.
After doing some amazingly quick calculations with his superbrain, (Which is the second-fastest brain in the universe. Second only to that one guy from that other band. Brendon Yawree or Urie or whatever his name was) Stump came to the conclusion that the creature's name must be:
Princess Celestia
"O hai thar," says the magical horse "I'm Princesh Celeschea"
"I know, my mind works approximately 100,000 times faster than yours" Stump responds without a single trace of bragging
"Ur gunna be dissected broo," Celestia said "t'was nice knowin' ya while et lested."
"Wait!" Stump put in quickly to buy his supermind the trillionth of a second that it needed to produce a solution "We humans have a ritual that you must respect. We always dissect our aliens at the rim of a volcano. It is ancient tradition."
"K broo we r gunna put u et tha volcano rim nooooooow" the Sunhorse said, buying into Stump's plan
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At the rim of the volcano, Stump is strapped down and about to be dissected by the evil sun equine and her minions. He casually breaks the leather bindings that hold him down and stands up.
"Celestia, could you please stand closer to the rim of the volcano?" Stump asks like a sweet little angel
"Shure thang, babe," Celestia replies, standing as close to the mouth of the volcano as physically possible.
This is it. Patrick pulls out his microphone cannon and shouts some copyrighted yet awesome lyrics at the Sunhorse. The sonic force from Stump's intense vocals sends the Sunhorse plummeting off of the edge and into the mouth of the volcano.
lel shulestia died the end lolololololol xD le ebin :^)
Stump dives down into the volcano after the Sun Princess, to catch a ride on the magical explosion
that follows her demise. The magical force sends Stump hurling through the atmosphere like a rocket.
"Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" Stump calls out as he travels through the sky until finally exiting the atmosphere and coming to rest in vacuum.
Patrick, risking suffocation, immediately grabs his emergency eyeliner stick and smears some of the stuff all over his face to prevent oxygen loss. With his original plan of flying back to Earth via space failed, Stump decides to return to the planet below.
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With the concert starting anytime now, the odds of Patrick returning to Earth are not in his favor. A magical purple equine named Tightwad Sparky or something tries to comfort Stump, but he knocks the poor mare out cold with an expertly-aimed rock to the skull.
With all hope seemingly lost and Stump's amazing talents useless in this world of mad creatures that would love to dissect him, he begins to do what a peasant would call "weeping."
A sound suddenly breaks up Patrick's chorus of wailing.
A familiar sound.
A grinding sound.
Patrick lifts his head out of his hands as he looks to see it. The TARDIS, and not a moment too soon. Materializing.
"That psycho in the box came to rescue me!" He exclaimed in disbelief
The doors to that time-travelling box swung open as the Doctor stepped outside.
"Barcelona at last!" the Doctor said after a deep inhale
"Hold on a minute," he continued, kneeling to the ground to taste the soil "this isn't Barcelona..."
Before the good ol' Doctor could get his wits back together, Stump plucked a rainbow-maned equine out of the sky to keep as a waifu and quickly bolted through the doors and into the TARDIS.
Slamming the door shut behind him, Stump fired up the spaceship at the protests of the Doctor, who was locked outside and banging on the door frantically.
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At last, the ship materialized. Stump kicked the door open and rushed through, only slightly late for the concert, which was already halfway through the first song. Stump literally pulled a guitar out of thin air and began to play with one arm, still holding his understandably confused Rainbow-pony waifu in the other.
It was then that he looked around.
The concert had started without him.
He had been replaced by...
No.
It couldn't be.
It was.
That one guy.
From that other band.
Brendon Urie.
Also, the Earth had been overrun by ponies and 80% of the human population was dissected.
The end.