HUMAN: The Crystalvision Series

by Razalon The Lizardman


HUMANcon

Manehattan. Hearing the name of said city typically conjures thoughts of upper class aristocratic ponies whose snobbish attitudes are second only to those in Canterlot. While normally this would amount to unfair stereotyping, there is a truth to this perception when given more accurate context. Since its founding, the city of Manehattan has been divided into two sections, one northern and one southern; colloquially referred to as the China and the Trough, respectively. The stereotype of Manehattan ponies being high class snobs would only hold truth in the China, as the vast majority of its residents are of the upper class. Conversely, ponies who live in the Trough are almost all part of the lower, working class.

While Manehattan's class division can be boiled down to the simple 'black & white' formula, the history behind it's formation is anything but. In fact, scholars continue to debate the exact course in which the city came to be metaphorically divided. One common theory is that, hundreds of years ago, a group of Canterlot nobles and their indentured earth servants left the capital to build a new home during a period of overpopulation. According to this theory, residents of the China are in fact descended from this group of stray Canterlot nobles, while residents of the Trough are descended from their servants. This theory doesn't, however, provide an explanation for the differing accents possessed by residents of either side, though scholars speculate the accent possessed by the Trough's residents is related in some way to the southern drawl possessed by various earth pony families even today; the most prominent example being, of course, the Apple family. Whether or not any part of this theory is correct, however, has yet to be confirmed or denied.

But regardless of the history behind it, Manehattan's class divide has long been a displeasure to many Equestrians, not the least of which being residents of the Trough itself. While not inhospitable, the Trough is essentially the city equivalent of the infamous Everfree Forest. The architecture is about as bland as can be, the streets are loaded with cracks, and the overall atmosphere of the city has an unsettling mood that unnerves any outsiders who enter.

Today, however, was quite different. Hundreds upon hundreds of ponies were amassed in the Trough's convention center; most of them from out of town, and none were anything but happy to be there. They were all humares attending to get a sneak preview of HUMAN on Crystalvision. The ones who weren't chatting amongst themselves were transfixed to the stage at the room's far side, waiting for the curtain to be drawn. Backstage, Twilight was getting ready for the opening speech that would precede the clip show preview she'd put together for the convention, frantically rereading the lines she'd written many times over so as not to screw up. As much as she didn't like it, being a princess of Equestria demanded she set a confident example for Equestria's citizens to follow; slipping on even one line would give everypony the impression she lacked confidence, which would in turn break their confidence in her as a leader.

Attending the convention with her, not including the multitude of royal guards stationed around the perimeter of the room, were Silver Tongue, Big Mac, Lyra, and Spike. The baby dragon was currently setting the clip show up while the other three ponies looked at their princess with worrying expressions at how frantically she was reviewing her notes. While they knew how important it was for her to remain confident throughout the convention, they couldn't help but be concerned for Twilight's mental health.

"Okay," Twilight said, having apparently finished reviewing her notes, "that should be everything."

"Hey, Twilight?" Lyra said.

"Hmmm?"

The mint green unicorn placed a comforting hoof on Twilight's shoulder. She turned to face her.

"Princess . . . you need to relax," Lyra said.

The sound of both stallions present facehoofing was all that broke the silence that permeated following Lyra's statement. The mare herself, upon seeing Twilight's eye twitch, retracted her hoof. Lyra's ears then folded back as Twilight dropped her notes and turned to fully face her.

"What did you say?" she asked.

Lyra instinctively took a step back. "I said that you need to re-"

"That was a rhetorical question!" Twilight shouted. Lyra scurried back a few more steps out of genuine fear, almost bumping into Silver Tongue who, along with Big Mac, looked to each other and silently agreed to not get in Twilight's way.

"What I DO want an answer to," Twilight continued, "is how you can possibly think relaxing is appropriate right now?" She enveloped her notes in magic again and levitated them right in front of Lyra's face. "I . . . no, all of us will be under public scrutiny out there. Maybe things are different for you, but now that I'm a princess I can't afford to make any mistakes at public appearances like this, which means I need to prepare myself for anything and everything that gets thrown my way." Bringing the notes back over to herself, she gave them one last glance over before setting them down neatly on a nearby table. Sighing, Twilight sat down on her haunches and began rubbing her temples with both hooves; stress having finally started to take its toll on her overworked brain.

"That's why."

Twilight glanced over to Lyra. "Say what now?"

Steeling her resolve, Lyra closed the distance between herself and Twilight. She then pointed at Twilight's rubbing hooves. "That right there is my answer to your question."

Twilight removed her hooves and stared at them dubiously, trying to figure out what about them Lyra was talking about. Unable to figure it out, she turned to the mint green unicorn. "What're you talking about?"

Lyra lowered her hoof. "You need to relax because you're stressed, Twilight." She sat down next to the lavender princess and sighed. "Now, maybe you're right about how being a princess means not being allowed to make mistakes, but if that's the rule then there's really no way you can follow it."

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.

Lyra turned to her with a solemn expression. "Everybody makes mistakes, Twilight; it's something everyone is taught sometime during their youth. And when I say 'everybody', that's including every prince/princess to ever exist." Lyra let out a small chuckle. "Princess Luna can attest to that herself, what with the whole 'Nightmare Moon' thing. Heck, even Celestia made the mistake of failing to properly consul her sister." Lyra's eyes went up in thought as she laid back on the wooden stage floor and relaxed her body. "And I do believe failing to recognize an imposter Cadence, thereby allowing Canterlot to be invaded, counts as a mistake. Also, isn't it true that she wrongly chastised you for accusing the imposter of manipulating your brother? Not to mention, she was somehow overpowered by that changeling queen, despite having enough power to move the sun AND moon." She chuckled again. "And then there's-mmmph!"

Lyra was silenced by Twilight's hoof covering her mouth. The lavender alicorn's wings ruffled in agitation as she spoke. "I get it, Lyra; no one's perfect. But from now on, please don't bring up anything relating to the wedding; I've still got mental scars from it."

Twilight removed her hoof from Lyra's mouth, allowing the unicorn to respond.

"Sure thing, Twilight," she said, sitting back up. "Anyway, it's ridiculous to get so worked up over something as trivial as a missed line during a speech. No one's going to lose faith, or whatever, in you for screwing up on a line. I mean, if ponies could retain faith in Celestia despite banishing her sister to the moon a thousand years ago, who's to say you couldn't do something equally as heinous and still be looked up to with admiration?"

Twilight thought for a moment before replying. " . . . I guess you're right."

"Not ta mention," Big Mac said as he and Silver Tongue closed the distance between the two mares, "y'all've got us ta back ya up should anythin' go south."

"Macintosh is quite right, princess," Silver Tongue said, letting both mares use his hoof as a support to stand back up. "You have nothing to fear should a moment arise where you're caught in a corner, for the three of us will be more than happy to step in while you recover."

Looking at the three of them, Twilight found herself extra thankful to have such great friends outside of her fellow element bearers. She blushed slightly and smiled in response to their encouraging and kind words.

"Thanks guys," she said, "I don't know what I'd do without great friends like you."

"I imagine you'd look to the other bearers of harmony for help," Silver Tongue mused. Twilight chuckled in response before turning to Lyra.

"By the way, Lyra," she said, "I've been meaning to say this for a while." She gestured to the curtain behind them, beyond which were the hundreds of ponies awaiting the event proper to start. "I think it was a great idea to set up the convention here in Manehattan's Trough section. All the money used to rent out this convention center should really help improve the standard of living here."

Lyra blushed. "It was actually Sweetie's idea, but I had no objections to it."

"Regardless," Twilight said, "I'm nothing if not happy that we're achieving so much good with this endeavor." She turned around to face the stage curtains, a determined expression plastered on her face. "With our combined support, nothing can stop us from-"

Spike's head popped through the curtain. "Uh, Twilight?"

Twilight ceased her rambling and turned to face her number one assistant. "Spike, is everything all set up?"

Spike sheepishly nodded. "Yeah, but . . . well . . ."

Twilight tilted her head in confusion. "Is something wrong Spike? Are the C.V.s not working properly?"

The baby dragon shook his head. "No, they're working fine. It's just that . . . you're probably going to need a bucket at the ready before you go out there."

Twilight's eyebrow arched. "Why would I need a bucket?"

Spike didn't answer. Instead, he walked over to the rope which would part the stage curtains when pulled. It took him a few attempts to clutch the rope firmly on account of his palms being unusually sweaty. When he finally got a good grip, he turned to Twilight in trepidation.

"I hope you didn't eat too much for breakfast this morning," he said, and pulled the rope.

"What're you say-" Twilight stopped. The curtains had parted to reveal the audience of humares in attendance. What she saw made Twilight's eyes go wide as dinner plates. Though they were spread thin throughout the audience, several ponies in attendance were transformed into anthro humans much the same way Lyra had been when Twilight first recruited her into HUMAN's writing staff. Whereas the normal ponies stood on their four hooves, the anthros stood up on their new feet, freeing up their new hands to wave at Twilight as they cheered for her.

The lavender alicorn herself, however, felt ready to throw up no more than five seconds after the curtain finished parting. She managed to avert her eyes from the horrid sight in front of her to glance at the many royal guards positioned around the room. Twilight envied them, for she could see that if they were disgusted by the self-mutations right in front of them, they did an admirable job of keeping it from showing on their faces which were currently stoic like always.

"Wow, this is . . . interesting, to say the least."

Though she couldn't see her, Twilight heard Lyra's statement crystal clear over the roaring crowd of humares. She briefed a glance to the mint green unicorn to see her facial expression was one of concern mixed with a hint of admiration. Twilight also caught a glimpse of both Big Macintosh and Silver Tongue shaking nervously, their faces slightly tinged puke green, as they attempted to keep from upchucking all over the stage.

Once the crowd's cheering died down enough, Twilight approached the microphone stand at the center stage and began her speech. All the fears she had from earlier of slipping up on a line returned full force as she struggled to speak while keeping her cool against the torrent of disgusted feelings brought about by the sights in front of her.

"Hello everypony, and welcome to HUMANcon!" Ponies throughout the audience rapidly stomped their hooves in delight, though, Twilight slightly winced at the accompanying sounds of hands clapping. "As you're all well aware, we'll be showing a sneak preview of HUMAN here, followed by a Q&A where the four of us-" Twilight gestured to the three accompanying ponies on stage "-will happily answer any questions you may have pertaining to the show's development, the book series it's based on, etcetera."

Twilight turned her head to the other three and continued. "With me are Lyra Heartstrings," everypony in attendance cheered wildly, no doubt happy to have a fellow humare among the show's staff, "Big Macintosh," a lesser, but still notable amount of cheers rang throughout the crowd, most of which being distinctly female in origin, "and finally, Silver Tongue." An even lesser amount of cheering was heard this time, but the ashen gray coated unicorn stallion was too preoccupied with holding back his breakfast to take any offense.

Twilight, reluctantly, faced the crowd and continued again. "And now, without further ado, the clip show will start." From backstage, Spike dimmed all the lights throughout the room, casting the convention hall into a shadowy bliss reminiscent of a movie theater. Essentially, that's what the convention hall was now, for Spike had set up a total of eight Crystalvisions around the perimeter of the room in between the guards. The crowd of humares split up into eight groups and gathered around the nearest Crystalvision. Twilight procured a recording crystal containing the clip show footage from her saddlebag. She then used her magic to synch it up with all the C.V.s around the room, upon which the clip show began playing immediately.

While everypony watched the action unfold on-screen, Twilight sighed in relief and turned to Lyra. The mint green unicorn shrunk under the angry expression the lavender princess gave her. When Twilight spoke to her, a small chill ran down Lyra's spine.

"Lyra, we need to talk, now."


"Okay, I can explain," Lyra said to Twilight.

The two of them, along with Big Mac and Silver, had relocated backstage for privacy. The clip show had about ten minutes of footage which was, hopefully, enough time to resolve the issue at hoof. Said issue, of course, was the fact that a large number of humares in attendance had copied Lyra's method of cosplaying by way of transformation spell. A spell that knowledge of, Twilight knew, could only come from the mint green unicorn herself. A mint green unicorn that was, currently, sweating and trembling under the intense glares of Twilight, Big Mac, and Silver.

"Yes, please," the lavender princess replied, her voice dripping with venom.

Gulping, Lyra began her explanation. "Okay, so after you instructed Sweetie and I to set up this convention, the two of us immediately came here to the Trough. We knew that the local government couldn't turn down an opportunity to make a little extra money for the poor ponies who live here, and sure enough, the city council was ever eager to support us."

Lyra noticed the impatient glares the other three ponies were now giving her, so she decided to cut to the chase. "Anyway, on our way to the train station for the return trip to Ponyville, we happened across a mare sitting on a stoop reading the third HUMAN book. While Sweetie continued on to purchase train tickets, I decided to strike up a conversation with this mare." She smiled solemnly. "Turns out, she was runner-up in the contest you ran for the third book."

"You mean Nyx?" Twilight asked, eyebrow raised.

"The very same," Lyra replied, keeping her solemn tone. "It took her a long time to swallow her pride and give the book a read." She sighed. "She wasn't angry when I told her who I was and what I was doing in Manehattan. Instead, she gave me a halfhearted congratulations and promised to attend the convention."

Lyra noticed the impatient glares of the three irate ponies in front of her remained, but didn't waver as she continued speaking. "Nyx made it quite clear how much effort she put into her submission, and seeing her so depressed that it didn't get chosen made me feel really bad." Now Lyra adopted a grim, determined expression. "Since she was a unicorn, I decided to teach her the transformation spell to, hopefully, cheer her up." She smiled again. "It worked; I don't think I've ever seen a mare so excited over learning a new spell."

Lyra's smile dropped into a frown. "Apparently, she saw fit to teach it to every other unicorn humare in Manehattan." Sighing again, Lyra turned to each of the three ponies as she addressed them. "Twilight, Big Mac, Silver, please believe me when I say it wasn't my intention for that," she pointed a hoof at the backwall through which the crowd of humares (anthros included) still watched the clip show preview, "to happen."

She set her hoof down and waited for a response. To her pleasant surprise, Twilight, Big Mac, and Silver were no longer seething with anger. Instead, their faces held expressions of understanding and remorse over the story Lyra told them. Twilight was the first to reply, and when she did it was in a soft, compassionate tone that held no trace of her previous contempt for the mint green unicorn.

"Lyra, I'm so sorry for being quick to judge." She gave her a sincere smile. "I guess that's yet another mistake princesses are capable of making."

All four ponies had a good hearty laugh at that. Afterward, Twilight turned to face the direction of the humare crowd. She'd probably never understand what went on in their heads, how they could be so casual about transforming their bodies. Physical transformation was seen more often than not as taboo in Equestria, yet there, right behind the backstage wall in the main room, was a mass group of ponies who couldn't care any less.

All these thoughts of transformation reminded Twilight of the time she herself performed such a spell.

-----

"Here it is; a spell that will allow earth ponies to fly for three days. Oooh, it looks reeeally difficult; I'm not sure I can do it."

"You've got to try."

"Okay, but who's gonna volunteer to be the test subject?"

. . .

"I will! For Rainbow Dash, I will go first."

"Heeere goes."

-----

"Twilight?"

The lavender alicorn was snapped out of her flashback by Big Mac's voice. "Y'all spaced out there," the farmstallion said. "Are y'all okay?"

Twilight didn't answer him. She dipped her head in thought for a moment before turning her gaze to Lyra.

"Maybe I've been overreacting to this whole 'cosplay' debacle," she told the mint green unicorn. Twilight smiled wryly. "I'm actually guilty of using a transformation spell myself."

Lyra smirked. "Rarity's wings, right?" She chuckled. "Hypocrisy; yet another mistake to add to the list."

All four ponies had another hearty laugh before Spike came rushing backstage.

"Hey Twilight?"

She turned to face the young drake. "Is the clip show almost done?"

Spike nodded. "But . . . well . . ."

Twilight approached him and bent over so the two were at eye level with each other. "Is something the matter, Spike?"

Spike briefly turned back in the direction of the humare crowd before looking back to Twilight nervously. "I tried persuading some of the cosplayers to return to normal, but they just told me to buzz off."

Twilight stood back up and frowned. "They were trying to watch the clip show, Spike; it's rude to interrupt someone when they're busy with something."

Spike sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah . . . but still, how are you going to keep composed throughout the Q&A?"

Twilight smiled. "I've . . . no, we've had a change of heart." She used a wing to point at the other three ponies who'd listened in on them. "I think we'll be just fine out there." She turned to the other three. "Right guys?"

All of Lyra, Big Mac, and Silver nodded in response. Spike just shrugged.

"If you say so," he said, then headed off toward the exit. "I'll be in the lobby reading magazines; come get me when you're done."

"Will do," Twilight replied, waving him off. "See you later."

"Bye Spike!" the other three said.

Sounds of the clip show behind the stage wall ceased. Twilight gestured with her wings for everypony to follow her onto the stage. They complied, ready to conduct the Q&A.


"Princess," an earth pony stallion near the stage said, having been granted permission to speak.

The whole of Twilight, Lyra, Big Mac, and Silver stood on stage in front of the enormous crowd. True to their word, the four of them were able to stay composed in front of all the anthros in attendance. Though they were still disgusted with the practice, none of them let it show on their faces. It would probably be a long time before any of them could readily accept the practice as anything other than downright creepy.

"Yes," Twilight replied to the stallion.

"The clip show implied that Warren's living in an apartment complex. This is confusing, as the books state he lives in a backwater neighborhood in a regular house. What does this mean?"

Twilight giggled. "All it means is that Warren's life will be expanded upon from what's written in the trilogy. Some ponies change residency during their life, like myself for example; the same applies with humans."

A unicorn mare near the east wall shot her hoof up, to which Twilight gestured for her to speak.

"I have two questions," she said. "One for Mr. Macintosh and another for Ms. Heartstrings."

"Ah'll go first," Big Mac stated, to which Lyra nodded in agreement. "Watcha wanna know, miss?"

From where he was standing, Big Mac could've sworn he saw a blush form on the mare's cheeks, but he just dismissed it as the lights playing tricks on his eyes.

"So, you're voice acting for Warren, correct?" the mare asked.

"Sure am, ma'am," Big Mac replied, giving a small smile. "That wasn't the question, right?"

The mare shook her head no. Big Mac noticed her legs were trembling, and thought he could see sweat forming on her brow. Whether or not the light was at fault didn't matter now, as Big Mac readied himself for her actual question. Upon hearing it, Big Mac raised a curious brow as to its oddity.

"Could you speak in Warren's voice for me, please?"

Everypony surrounding the mare turned to her with confused looks on their faces. She shrunk under all the attention she was getting, but perked up once Big Mac answered in his 'Warren' voice.

"Well, here 't is. Mind ya, Ah ain't gonna be talkin' like this an' the voice'll sound different comin' outta yer C.V." He then switched back to his normal speaking voice. "Was it everythin' y'all dreamed it'd be? Heh Heh."

The mare chuckled nervously and nodded before turning to Lyra. "And Miss Heartstrings, will the third book's premise be incorporated in the show?"

Lyra looked to Twilight for confirmation to answer. Twilight nodded, and Lyra turned back to the mare. "Yes, let the record show that the HUMAN Crystalvision adaptation implies that the titular species is, in fact, responsible for our entire existence."

A loud cheer erupted from the entire crowd. Seeing all the joyous faces throughout the crowd brought a large, heartfelt smile to Twilight's lips. Knowing that she was making so many ponies happy with her creation was truly something to be proud of.

This must be how Pinkie Pie feels half the time.

Once the cheering died down, Twilight spoke up. "Any more questions?"

A pegasus stallion raised a hoof from far out in the crowd. "Yes?" Twilight said, gesturing to him.

"Which one of you is the script writer?" he asked.

"Actually, we all are," Twilight replied. "I take it that wasn't your question either?"

The stallion shook his head. "Well then," Twilight said, turning to Silver, "how about you take this one, Silver?"

"With pleasure, dear Twilight." Silver replied, then turned to the stallion. "What is your question, sir?"

"Will there be any shipping in the show?"

Everypony in the crowd oohed at the question and a few even snickered. Silver was confused as to what the stallion meant by 'shipping'. He turned to Twilight for clarification, but the lavender alicorn merely shook her head. Seeing the two of them were clueless, Lyra whispered to Silver, "He's asking if any characters from the books will develop romantic feelings for each other in the show."

Both Silver and Twilight raised curious brows at the odd terminology, but didn't question Lyra as to its origins. Silver turned back to the stallion and answered.

"It's very possible you'll see some romance bloom between certain characters, but only if we believe such a thing shall fit with a character's . . . well, character." He chuckled a bit before continuing. "After all, as Princess Mi Amore Cadenza would say, 'love is as unpredictable as it is beautiful'."


Far away, in the Crystal Palace of the frozen north, a certain pink alicorn princess was watching her imported Crystalvision when she felt a sensation in her nose.

"Ah . . . Ah . . . ACHOO!!!"

Shining Armor looked up from his reports to her. "Bless you, dear."

Cadence wiped her nose. "No way that was a cold sneeze," she mused.

"Hmmm?"

"Nothing, honey," Cadence replied. She then resumed watching the C.V. in their bedroom which, at the moment, played nothing but DELOS advertisements 24/7. As much as the crystal princess liked watching adverts (not at all), she was eager to see HUMAN's Crystalvision adaptation as much as any humare, if only to support Twilight in her endeavor. Until then, she'd have to settle her boredom watching continuous junk.

Hopefully, whatever she comes up with is more entertaining than watching the SAME. FREAKING. advert for 'Gak' over and over again. Who in Celestia's name would even buy that stuff?


Far away, in Sugarcube Corner of Ponyville, a certain hyperactive party pony used her hooves to stretch a slimy, putty-like substance in front of her. She had bought a tub of Gak after seeing the advert for it on Mr. and Mrs. Cake's Crystalvision. Three weeks of pay was used to buy the stuff, and the mare who bought it was now enjoying the fruits of her labor.

"I'm SOOO happy that Gak is back," Pinkie announced whilst wrapping the ill-named substance around her hooves like mittens. Then, a random afterthought popped into her head, which she felt an urge to speak out loud as well. "And I can't wait to see what Twilight has in store for the humares."


Back in Manehattan, Twilight was about to take one last question when she felt a sudden sensation rising through her nasal passage from her throat.

"Ah . . . Ah . . . Ahhhhhhhh-CHOO!!!"

"Bless you, your highness," the unicorn stallion with the question said.

"Sure, sure," Twilight replied. She pulled a tissue from her saddlebag and wiped her nose before continuing. "And your question is?"

The stallion's face set into a neutral, yet curious expression. "What does a pony have to learn from watching the show?"

Twilight smiled. "That would be how friendship doesn't work, and what happens to those who ignore its importance." The lavender princess adopted a solemn tone as she finished. "Something I used to be guilty of myself, but am glad to have such great friends in not just the other bearers, but all of you too."