The Starship Enterprise rushed through space at top speed towards a spacial anomaly that no one could explain. As usual, it was up to Captain Picard and the Enterprise crew to investigate.
Captain’s log, stardate 42693.4. We are en route to a spacial anomaly that has been given the nickname “Equus” due to strange readings that would indicate equine life forms. Nobody knows what this thing is or why we can detect equine readings in it, but I do know one thing: it doesn’t make any sense, and that can only mean one thing that can be spelled with only one letter...
“Data, report,” Picard said as he walked across the bridge.
“Nothing has changed about the anomaly, Captain,” Data replied. “All we know about it so far is that it exists. That’s literally it.”
“Then perhaps it’s beyond your comprehension,” an all-too familiar voice said. Captain Picard turned slowly to find that his worst fear about this whole expedition had been confirmed.
“What are you doing here, Q?” Picard asked.
“It’s nice to see you, too, old pal,” Q replied. “Let me guess, you’re investigating this spacial anomaly too, aren’t you?”
“You mean you have nothing to do with it?”
“Eh... I never said that.” Q then snapped his finger and teleported to where Data was sitting. “You’re detecting equine-like life forms in this thing, am I correct?”
“Yes,” Data replied. “How would you know this?”
“Let’s just say... I’ve had experience with ‘equine-like’ things before.” Q snapped his finger again and this time teleported to the far side of the bridge. “You’re going to need an away team to investigate this, and I will gladly volunteer as one member.”
“You are not coming with us, Q,” Picard said. “Get off my ship.”
“Captain,” Commander Riker said, “perhaps we shouldn’t be so quick to give Q the boot this time around. He seems to know what’s going on.”
“Thank you, Wil,” Q said.
“Don’t milk this sympathy,” Riker said to Q.
“Why, it’s very obvious Q knows what’s going on,” Picard said. “That’s why I’m sure he’s trying to lead us into a trap.”
“Now when in all the years we’ve known each other have you known me to lure you and your crew into a trap?” Q asked. “Honestly, Picard, I thought we were friends.”
“Q does have a point, Captain,” Data said. “If memory serves me correctly, he has never been entirely malevolent in his antics.”
Picard gave a defeated grumble before continuing. “Very well,” he finally said. “Data, Riker... Q, all three of you are coming with me to investigate this thing.” Just then, Q teleported behind Piccard holding a set of keys and wearing a large hat, a Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses, and some sunscreen on his nose.
“Road trip!” Q said. “I call shotgun.” Piccard turned to face Q with an annoyed expression and grabbed the keys out of his hands.
“If this is anything dangerous, you’ll be sorry,” Picard said through gritted teeth.
“I’m sure I will be,” Q replied. “After all, it’s not like I would willingly throw your crew into the mouth of a volcano or anything.”
Picard, Riker, Data, and Q all boarded a landing craft to get ready to investigate the anomaly. “Now, I’m going to give you three a few warning about this thing,” Q said. “Whatever happens, and no matter how absurd my instructions may be, follow them. The life forms we’re going to encounter are very hostile but are entirely invulnerable to your little phaser guns.”
“Hostile life forms?” Picard asked.
“Ah, you and your crew will be fine. But, uh, one word of advice that won’t make sense until later... don’t provoke the yellow one. She’s the most dangerous of them all.”
Picard and Riker looked at each other for a moment, probably hoping one of them would be able to tell the other what Q’s warning meant. “Q,” Picard said, “if there’s something we need to know before we get down there...”
“Oh, you wouldn’t come if you knew what was going to happen,” Q said. He then snapped his finger and the landing craft instantly took off.
“Data, stop this craft!” Picard shouted.
“I cannot, Captain,” Data replied, struggling with the controls. “Q is controlling it.”
Within seconds, the away team was within viewing distance of the anomaly. It was a large white swirling thing with a bright epicenter. “We’re going straight into the heart of it,” Q said. “If we try to get in through anywhere else, this puny ship will be torn to shreds.”
“I thought you said this wasn’t going to be dangerous!” Picard shouted.
“No, I said I would never throw your crew into the mouth of a volcano.” Q smirked as the ship hurdled towards the anomaly. “Everypony hold on to something!”
“Did he just say-?” Data started. However, he was cut off when the ship suddenly penetrated the barrier of the anomaly and began shaking and rocking. “Captain, I don’t think this ship will survive this endeavour!”
“Everything is going to be fine,” Q assured the group.
“Does this look like-?” Picard shouted. However, he was cut off when the entire ship was engulfed in a flash of pure white light that felt almost solid even.
Picard opened his eyes slowly and had a throbbing headache. He was mildly aware of the fact that his ship had crashed, but he wasn’t sure if Data or Riker survived. “Data? Riker? Anyone?” Picard called.
“Oh don’t look so worried,” Picard heard Q say. “They’re both fine.”
Picard looked up to face Q with an angry expression. “Q, what have you-?” However, Picard was cut off when he found not the Q he knew, but rather what looked like a small blue horse with a horn, wings, a black mane, and wearing a Starfleet uniform. “Q? Is that you?”
“Yes, it’s me,” the strange-looking horse replied. “But you shouldn’t be so surprised, Jean-Luc. It’s not like you’re any different.”
Confused, Picard looked down at his own hooves, fear already coursing through his body. “Q... what have you done!?”