//------------------------------// // A Friend in Need // Story: Where's the Beef? // by Mare Macabre //------------------------------// Clip clop clip clop clip clop ... Clip clop clip clop clack clack ... Clip clop clip... ________ Fluttershy paced anxiously through her living room, looking out the window every time she approached before forcing herself to turn back toward her phone. She trotted up to the device, fixed it with a hard stare, then quickly turned and retreated toward the window before catching herself. Angel watched from the kitchen doorway, his arms crossed and eyes half-lidded. She had told him about her plan to call Twilight for help, insisting he make sure she make good on her word, but all she’d actually allowed him to do thus far was watch in bored silence as she gathered up small bursts of courage before faltering and turning tail. She repeated the process nearly twelve times before he finally let out a long sigh and hopped his way over to the phone himself. The phone, one of Twilight’s recent inventions, wasn’t optimized for use by a bunny. The crank that needed turning was stiff in his experience, the spring wound almost too tightly for him to dial in the numbers. With a fair amount of effort, he managed to put in the Ponyville area code before Fluttershy turned back to the phone and eeped as she saw him working. “Angel, wait!” the yellow pegasus squeaked, rushing over and pulling him from the table. “I-I think I might do it tomorrow. Twilight’s probably busy toda—“ Fluttershy twitched, lowering Angel and looking down at the headset. She slowly set the bunny down next to her and inched closer to the phone, carefully reaching out to click the receiver and end the call. the headset crackled, making the high-strung pegasus flinch again. Fluttershy winced, reaching for the receiver once more, but a sharp jab in the flank from Angel made her grab the phone instead. She blinked, looking down at the bunny with a word on the tip of her tongue, but was interrupted by the operator. the disgruntled mare said flatly. “No wait!” Fluttershy snapped, then covered her mouth. the operator mumbled. Fluttershy shut her eyes tight and moved the hoof from her mouth to her forehead. “Um...C-could you connect me to...Twilight Sparkle?” she finished in a whisper. the operator asked. “Twilight Sparkle,” Fluttershy spoke up. the operator nodded, exaggerating her syllables. Fluttershy sat down beside the small post the phone rested on and let out a quiet sigh. She heard a click, a pop, and then the quiet hum of a phone ringing on the other end of the line. Fluttershy glanced sideways at the headset, considering hanging up if Twilight failed to answer at the second ring, then twitched as she heard an answer. an enthusiastic voice sang, Fluttershy cocked an eyebrow as Twilight giggled on the other end, confused more than nervous for once, then shook the sensation off. “Um...Twilight?” she ventured, hearing a gasp at the other end. Twilight laughed, trying to hide her embarrassment. Fluttershy bit her lip, glancing down at her expectant companion, then covered her face with her free hoof and let her muscles relax slightly. If anyone could help her, it was surely Twilight. “I...need your help, Twilight,” she started. “I’ve been...um...” Helpful though Twilight might be, she certainly didn’t want to start off by telling her she’d become a bloodthirsty predator. She rolled her head, trying to find a tactful way to describe her ailment. “I...I think I have...a bit of an addiction,” she said at last. “A-an unhealthy one.” Twilight joked, a hint of worry under her words. “O-oh no, nothing like that,” Fluttershy assured her. She frowned, wondering if it might have been better if that were her problem, but shook the thought and continued. “I have an...eating problem. I’ve...kind of been binging lately and it makes me really sick afterward. I was wondering if I might be able to come by sometime for a little...therapy?” Fluttershy heard an excited gasp and a quick round of clapping before Twilight was at the phone again. <*Ahem* Yes. I can schedule something,> the purple princess said as nonchalantly as she could fake. “Oh, w-well we could wait until you get ba—“ a jab in the rear made her jump and quickly backtrack in her statement. “L-later today works! That sounds great! I’ll be there.” Fluttershy hung up the phone and let her head droop. She slowly deflated, letting her hoof slide off the edge of the table and onto the floor, and gently lay herself on her side by the desk. Angel hopped over and patted her head, quietly mumbling some praise of her efforts as she curled into a ball and let her eyes drift closed. ________ Fluttershy stretched as she made her way through the streets of town. She’d fallen asleep on the floor, making up for some of her lost sleep from the night before, and developed a crick in her neck and a stiff soreness in her right wing. Angel was insistent when he woke her, forcefully pushing her out the door and down the walkway to her cottage despite her objections and excuses. She knit her brow as she tried to shake the flatness out of her mane, reaching up and wiping a few of the sticky hairs from her face, and sucked in a breath through her teeth as a tilt a little too far to the left sent a bolt of soreness through her neck. The butter colored pegasus yawned groggily as she approached the library, her tired stupor still outweighing her fear, but slowed as she drew nearer. Her mind was finally waking in full, the weight and seriousness of what she was about to do suddenly becoming clear, and her slow trot eventually came to a gradual stop. She blinked, staring at the door to the library in front of her. It was true she’d thought that seeking help from Twilight was her best option, but actually being face to face with the situation made her start to doubt. What if Twilight couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her? What if there wasn’t any kind of magic that could help fix the problem? What if... ’What if there’s nothing wrong with me?’ Fluttershy frowned, startled by the sudden thought. She knew that, as a pony, she was an herbivore, and that she was more or less unequipped to consume and digest meat. That being the case, though, why did she have such a craving for it? If, truly, she shouldn’t eat, or even want to eat meat, why would she have such a distinct taste for it? Fluttershy’s eyes focused once more on the door, the gears in her head quietly clicking away at the odd question. ’What if it’s not therapy I need...?’ Fluttershy’s thoughts were cut short as the door in front of her flew open and Rainbow Dash stepped through, almost bumping into the other pegasus before stopping. “Whoa!” she yelped, jumping back from Fluttershy. “Oh. Hey Fluttershy. What’s up?” Fluttershy pulled a smile over her face and shifted awkwardly. “Oh, uh...not much. Why are you...?” “Just picking up the new one,” Dash smirked, holding up a copy of the latest Daring Doo book. “And...one or two others,” she said bashfully, turning to show her friend her heavily laden saddlebags. “Twilight’s got me hooked on some old future-fantasy thing. It’s pretty cool.” “Is that Fluttershy!” a voice called from inside. Fluttershy twitched again as Twilight flashed to life beside Rainbow and smiled brightly at her guest. “Um...hi, Twilight,” Fluttershy murmured. “What’s goin’ on, guys?” Rainbow asked, stepping back as Twilight ushered Fluttershy into the library. “Fluttershy’s having a little—“ “I’m looking for a book!” Fluttershy cut her off. Twilight blinked as she realized that she had probably almost let out something her friend wanted kept secret and nodded. “Right!” she agreed. “She’s having a little trouble with some animals and wanted a book about...” she trailed off, glancing at Fluttershy for help. “H-hunting,” Fluttershy offered meekly. Her friends both turned to look at her, surprised looks on their faces, and Fluttershy shrunk from their shocked stares. “Th-there’s a little fox cub I’m looking after, and his mother...she died,” she whispered, leaning closer. The other ponies winced, otherwise relaxing. “I’ve been trying to teach him to hunt, but I don’t know enough about it myself. I was hoping Twilight might have a book on hunting habits or...something.” Twilight frowned, trying to remember if Fluttershy had mentioned the book before, but Rainbow Dash simply shrugged and started out the door. “Well I hope you find it. We still on for Saturday?” she paused at the threshold, looking back. Fluttershy’s nervous smile lost its edge, her cheeks quickly adapting the color of her mane. “O-of course.” Dash grinned and winked at her, then turned and took off toward her cloud-house. Fluttershy glanced at the floor, her pink cheeks reddening slightly, but was snapped back to the room as Twilight shut the door. “Did I miss you telling me about the book?” she frowned. “I guess I did get a little lost in my thoughts after you asked for help, but I think I’d remember something about a book.” “Oh, well...no,” Fluttershy conceded. “It was just something I thought of on the way over. I was going to let someone else teach him, but he’s very attached to me right now. I thought it might be better if I did it.” Twilight nodded, motioning with a wing for Fluttershy to follow her down to her lab. The two ponies filed down the spiral staircase through the inner tree, eventually stepping out of the tunnel-like stairwell into a large wooden chamber beneath the library proper. Fluttershy noticed Rarity’s couch had taken the place of Twilight’s blackboard in the corner of the room, and she glanced nervously at her purple princess friend. Twilight flicked her eyes back and forth between them, proudly waggling her eyebrows, then flashed over to a chair at its side, her mane arranging itself into a tight bun, and a clipboard and quill floated over to her from a nearby desk. “Now, what’s this about an eating problem?” she said, patting the couch invitingly. Fluttershy narrowed an eye at the sofa, considering the questions she’d had before entering the library, but pushed them aside and crawled up onto the plush seat, laying her head by Twilight’s side. “Well...” she started, struggling to find a delicate way to explain her problem. “I...I’ve been eating....bad things recently. Things I really shouldn’t.” Twilight nodded as she scribbled a note, making Fluttershy shoot her a nervous glance. “What kinds of things?” The pink maned pegasus quickly averted her gaze, staring at the velvety red back of the couch. “Um...” Twilight noticed her scared expression and looked up from her notes. “You’re not stealing from the Cakes, are you?” “No,” Fluttershy said quickly, “I would never...” She blinked, frowning at the statement. ’I’d never steal but I’d kill left and right?’ Her frown deepened. ’I really do need help.’ “Well...about how long has this been happening?” Twilight asked instead. “How often do you binge? Do you throw up afterward?” Fluttershy shook herself. “I...It started maybe...two months ago?” she looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember when it was that Harry had given her the damning fish. “Maybe nine weeks? I’m not sure. I-I only threw up after the first time, but I still feel terrible no matter how often I do it.” “And how often is that?” Twilight asked, making notes. “It...well it was a week before I did it again,” Fluttershy recalled. “But then I did it after...five days? It’s been pretty constant since then with five days between.” She paused, her hooves drifting down to her stomach. “But...I did it again yesterday, and it had only been two. I’m worried I might start doing it more often...” Twilight nodded and hummed an agreement. “That sounds pretty typical of addict behavior. It starts slow, gets a little more common, and soon the object of addiction is just a part of your life.” She heard Fluttershy take a frightened breath and quickly corrected herself. “Well, not your life, but...y’know,” she shrugged. “H-how do I stop it?” Fluttershy asked, turning to look up at her friend. “It depends on the addiction,” Twilight mused, crossing her forelegs. “Though typically it stems from a feeling that something is missing from life. At least when there’s no brain-altering chemistry involved. You’re sure it’s not smoking?” Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow. “I would never do that to myself,” Fluttershy protested quietly. “Or the animals.” Twilight smiled. “I know you wouldn’t. I’m honestly surprised that you could be addicted to anything really. You don’t have an addictive personality from what I’ve observed.” She scratched her chin, looking over her friend with a critical eye. “You do look like you’ve gained a little weight though, if I may note.” Fluttershy blushed and scowled at the couch’s back. “I know...” Twilight smirked and put a calming hoof on the pegasus’ shoulder. “It’s not your fault, you know. Addiction changes the way a person thinks and metabolizes certain things. If we get this cleared up, that extra weight will melt away, I’m sure.” Fluttershy glanced sideways at her friend, then felt her face flush and looked away again. “I...may keep the weight, actually.” Twilight cocked an eyebrow, then the other, her confusion becoming amusement. “Dash likes it, eh?” Fluttershy fidgeted and flashed her friend an awkward smile. “A little.” The young alicorn smirked, savoring the chance to gossip about something other than politics. “Really? I’d have thought she’d want you to get more athletic.” “Well...she still wants to help me get my speed up so we can fly together more, but...” Fluttershy covered her reddening face, now grinning, “She...she thinks I look cute with a little extra weight.” Fluttershy’s blush rubbed off on Twilight as it intensified. “I see,” the alicorn mused, making Fluttershy fidget some more. “Does she know it’s because of...?” Fluttershy’s smile vanished, her face still crimson. “N...no. I haven’t told her about it,” she confessed, looking down. “I wanted to fix it myself, but...I don’t think I can. I don’t want her to find out.” Twilight cleared her throat, trying to return to the matter at hand. “I see.” Twilight tilted her head. “You think this binge eating might because of Dash’s preferences?” Fluttershy shook her head. “It started before we actually started dating. I didn’t know at the time. I hadn’t even started putting on the weight yet.” Twilight nodded and made some notes. “Well, what about now? Do you think that knowing about her liking the extra weight is what makes you keep doing it?” Fluttershy frowned as she considered the question. “I’ve thought of that before, but I don’t think it’s related. I usually don’t even think of her until...afterward.” “What is it specifically that you think afterward?” Fluttershy crossed a hoof over the other, nervously rubbing her foreleg. “That...that I’m a monster,” she whispered, closing her eyes. “That she’d be ashamed of me. That you’d be ashamed of me.” Twilight blinked. “Me?” “All of you,” Fluttershy explained. “Everyone. I feel like a freak,” she whimpered covering her face. Twilight lowered her notes. “Wh...why would any of us be ashamed of you, Fluttershy? Overindulging isn’t something we’d ever hold against you.” Fluttershy clenched her eyes shut, pressing her hooves harder into her face. “I don’t overindulge, Twilight. I hardly eat anything anymore. I just...It’s not...how much I’m eating. It’s what I’m eating.” Twilight moved her chair to face her friend, gingerly setting a hoof on her elbow. “What is it you’ve been eating, Fluttershy?” The depressed pegasus uncovered her eyes, fixing her tear-blurred gaze on her lavender friend, then closed them and let hot shame stream down the sides of her face. “A-ani-mals,” she choked. Twilight’s face changed in some ineffable way, the joint in her extended arm locking for split second, but her voice remained neutral as she spoke. “....What was that?” Fluttershy sputtered and uncovered her face. “I-I’ve been eating a-animals,” she blubbered. Twilight’s eyebrows came together in a mixture of fear, confusion, and concern. She lifted her hoof from Fluttershy’s arm, letting it hover above her for a moment, then allowed to fall limply at her side as she sat back in the chair. “...Animals?” she parroted. “...Like...animals?” Fluttershy sniffed loudly and nodded. “Harry gave me a fish one day, and I ate, and it was so good that...I couldn’t help myself...” She wiped her face again, lifting her gaze to the ceiling. “A week later, some squirrels brought their friend to me. He’d fallen out of a tree and broken his neck. I knew I had to put him out of his misery, but I thought...I thought maybe...” She clenched her eyes shut, pushing out fresh tears. “I took him to the cellar and...put him down...but then...I had him. And he was already dead. And...I thought, since it wouldn’t be hurting anyone...” Twilight stared at her yellow friend in horror. “You didn’t...” Fluttershy’s ears flattened against her head. “I couldn’t help myself!” she wailed. “I was so...curious and hungry and...” she stopped and clenched her teeth as she tried to control her volume. “I-I...I told them he asked to be cremated. I gave them some ashes from my fireplace. I don’t know if they believed me or not, but they took them and left. I got so sick that night I thought I was gonna die!” She shut her mouth again and struggled to keep her thoughts coherent. “I...I thought that would be the end of it...but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t get the taste out of my mouth. I asked Harry to take me fishing sometime and we had a picnic with the fish a-and I think he could tell something was wrong then but he didn’t say anything and then...” Fluttershy suddenly fell silent, wracked with quiet, sniffling sobs. Twilight continued to stare, baffled as to how to feel about or react to all the information that was being dumped on her. She hesitantly lifted a hoof, holding it toward Fluttershy, but ultimately put back at her side. She wet her lips, trying to think of how to continue, and remembered her notes. “Uh...” she started, making Fluttershy flinch, “Um...Wha-how...” She closed her eyes, organizing her thoughts. “Why do you think you...do this?” Fluttershy let her forelegs fold over her chest, her eyes searching the ceiling. “I...I just...” She narrowed her eyes, pointedly looking away from her friend. “I love it,” she admitted quietly. “I feel...powerful. I feel like a predator, like something dangerous.” She chewed her lip. “I feel confident when I’m hunting. Like nothing can stop me. And the taste of—...the taste is just so...amazing,” she sighed. “It’s divine! No matter how sick I get after eating it, I—or...after eating...them,” she forced herself to say, “All I can think of is that taste. And that texture. And the feeling of blood, hot steamy blood, running down my face and my throat, filling my nostrils with its acrid, metallic scent, the cracking of bo—“ Twilight put a hoof on her shoulder, making Fluttershy jump, and she quickly stopped herself as she saw her friend’s horrified face. Her cheeks burned with fear and embarrassment, her forelegs nervously fiddling with each other, and mumbled an apology. “I just...I do it because...I love it,” Fluttershy decided quietly. The purple princess pony let her notes float to the floor, her hair somehow unknotting itself as she sat back in the chair again. She studied the timid pegasus, her thoughts muddled and confused, and tried to put words to her concern. “That’s...” she trailed off. Fluttershy glanced down at her, making her flinch and look somewhere else. “Uh, that’s...” She heaved a long sigh. “I...don’t even know what to say...” Fluttershy closed her eyes, taking a long, slow breath to calm herself. Then another. “I...don’t know what I expected,” she admitted as she opened her eyes. “I think I might have just wanted to tell someone.” She looked back at Twilight, who simply nodded slowly, then frowned. “But...no, I have questions.” Fluttershy sat up on the couch, flexing her sore wings, and faced her friend and therapist. “Why would I want to eat...animals,” she managed to say. “What would drive me to do that? I’m a pony, ponies shouldn’t even like meat. But I crave it! It’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten!” She fixed Twilight with a confused stare. “Why would I think that?” The purple alicorn frowned, the question cutting through the fog of thoughts and giving her a focal point. “Huh. That’s a good question,” she murmured, lifting a hoof to rub her chin. “Ponies really shouldn’t have a taste for meat. We’re not designed to handle it. I mean, we can,” she mused, motioning to Fluttershy, “obviously. But not easily. You’ve been eating like this for two months?” Fluttershy lowered her head and nodded. “About, yes.” Twilight titled her head, her confusion returning to concern, and she finally placed a comforting hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how this has been for you.” The pegasus sighed heavily. “I don’t imagine so.” Twilight absorbed the comment, her mind still rolling the bizarre situation over again and again looking for answers. After a moment of thought, she straightened up, her expression pensive. “It...does kind of make sense that, if anypony ever was going to end up being a carnivore, it would be you.” Fluttershy lifted a frown to her, and Twilight raised her hooves defensively. “I don’t mean that as an insult, Fluttershy, I just mean...well think about it. Who else spends so much time in and around the Everfree forest or with all those carnivorous animals? You’ve been surrounded by predation for most of your life, so it only makes sense that you would pick up a few things about it.” Fluttershy righted herself, glancing sideways in thought. “Probably. I doubt I’d even be able to hunt at all if I hadn’t spent so much time with Willow or Drew...” She noticed Twilight’s questioning look. “Uh, a weasel and a fox I know. I’ve been fishing with Harry before too, but I never actually ate the fish before he gave me that one. I guess he just assumed that I fished because I ate fish. I really only did it for my animal friends before then.” “Well that explains his behavior then,” Twilight nodded, “but not yours. I’m going to look through some books and see if this has happened before. Do you have anywhere you need to be?” Fluttershy shook her head. “Angel said he’d arrange dinner for everyone. I’m not sure how, but he’s done it before.” Twilight paused on the steps. “...Does Angel know about...?” Fluttershy nodded somberly. “He’s been very helpful. I don’t know what I’d have done without him.” Twilight smiled a little sadly and continued up the stairs. “That’s good to know. There’s some tea in the kitchen if you want it, and Spike should be back from Sweetapple Acres soon. I’ll be in the main...” She stopped again, thinking. “...You should probably come upstairs. I don’t not trust you or anything but...y’know, chemicals,” she shrugged, pointing at the alchemy station she had set up. Fluttershy nodded and wiped her eyes again, hopping off the couch and following after her host. They emerged from the lab in silence – Twilight wandering to a lectern and taking several books with her as she went, Fluttershy retreating into the small kitchen off the main room. She carefully poured some hot water from the stove over a cup of tea leaves, then sat at the table and waited for the tea to steep. She was quiet as she watched the deep reddish brown of the tea seep into the steaming water, her mind occupied but not necessarily burdened. It had been a relief greater than she expected just to tell someone about her problem, and it made her feel much more relaxed to know that Twilight was in the next room looking for something that might help her. The pegasus cautiously lifted her cup, blowing across the surface of her drink, then daintily sipped at the spiced tea. She felt better certainly, but not absolved. The guilt of her hunts still hung over her head like the steam over her tea. She set the cup down, a little harder than she’d meant to, and returned to the main room. Twilight had an array of books hovering in front of her, each of them flipping several pages at a time before stopping while she scribbled notes on their contents. Fluttershy felt a touch of admiration for her ability to read, write, and memorize with such speed and efficiency, but forced herself to focus. She wasn’t going to sit by while her friend did all the work for her. She’d let herself get so far gone, and she was going to at least try to help herself. ________ After hours of searching, Twilight finally closed the last book she’d pulled from the shelves. She blinked slowly, her eyelids fluttering as she opened them, and gradually began to work the feeling back into her limbs. It had been a long time since she’d had a power-study session and she was nowhere near as used to the mental, magical, and physical strain that came with them. Slowly she focused on the room, looking down at the lectern to organize her papers. Spike had evidently returned at some point and begun feeding her fresh sheets, otherwise she would’ve exhausted the few she started with very early on. The thought of Spike made her turn from the podium, cracking several of her joints as she did. The young dragon was nowhere to be found, but Fluttershy was sitting over by the door to the kitchen, a book just barely held up by her tired hooves. She watched the exhausted yellow pegasus lift a teacup to her lips, tilt it, then glance at it in a tired stupor as she realized, probably not for the first time, that it was empty. Twilight smirked, gathering up her own stack of notes, and wandered over to her sleepy friend. Fluttershy groggily wiped her face as Twilight approached, slow to notice that she had finished her own study, but tried to blink the sleep from her burning eyes as she realized that the alicorn was standing at her side. “Oh, Twilight...” she yawned, stretching out her forelegs and wings. “I...I found a...thing...” Twilight glanced at the book Fluttershy was holding, recognizing it as one of the earlier books from her own research, and chuckled as she floated the stack of notes into her friend’s lap. “I think this should have enough information for you,” she yawned herself. “I copied down everything I could find on ponies and predatory behavior.” Fluttershy stared blankly at the notes before turning her tired eyes up to her friend. “Everything?” Twilight nodded. “I kind of went on autopilot after a while – looking for keywords and copying down passages, but it should have a fair amount of useful information.” Fluttershy looked back down at the thick stack of papers for a moment before flashing Twilight a closed-eyed smile. “So this is how you did so well in school, huh?” “Yeah,” Twilight yawned again, “It’s pretty cool, I know.” She looked out a window, frowning and rubbing her eyes as she realized what hour of the night it must have been. “Sorry for taking so long with all this. I’ll go make up the guest bed.” “You do’ haf to,” Fluttershy yawned long and hard, tears forming in her eyes, then clicked her tongue. “Or...okay. Thank you Twilight.” Fluttershy took Twilight’s wing as she helped her to her hooves and followed her up to the living quarters of the library. Twilight lit up her horn, making the necessary arrangements for her guest as they made their way up to the small sleeping space. Fluttershy crawled into the cool moonlit bed with a deep sigh and shiver, mumbling another thanks to her host as she stumbled over to her own bed. She heard the rustling of papers settling on a nightstand beside the bed, but didn’t react to them. Soon, the soft, cool texture of the bed, mingling with her fatigue from the day, carried her off to sleep.