//------------------------------// // Super Kami Guru allows this // Story: Team Four Star goes to Equestria // by Linite //------------------------------// It was a regular day on Namek before Frieza blew it up and Guru was more bored than usual. He had already sent Nail on his daily ass kicking of random birds and Dende had stopped by to visit the Guru...Lord knows why. "Dende! I am extreeeeemly bored!" said the Guru. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't help with that." The Guru thought for a moment then had a brilliant idea. "Dende. Stand back." "Why?" "Because I am about to be brilliant." "...I don't understand." Dende replied as he took one step back. "I've decided to write a fanfiction about My Little Pony and when its done I'll post it to Fimfiction.net." "...sir...I don't even know what that is." The Guru was silent for a moment, "See! This is why we need T.V!...But no matter, I'm going to seriously fuck with Nail first." The Guru shifted his voice towards the door. "Naaaiiillll!" Nail had just returned from killing birds and heard the call for him, "What is it lord Guru!" he yelled from outside. "Get in here." Nail arrived in front of the Guru, "What is it lord Guru?" "Nail, gather the Dragon Balls I've decided to go to Equestria to meet the characters of a T.V show I love to watch." "What's it called, sir?" "My Little Pony." "With all due respect sir, isn't that a little girls show and wouldn't that be a grievous misuse of the Dragon Balls powers?" "I'm about to misuse my hand upside your head!" The Guru replied with a bold look and then thought for a moment. "Never mind Nail, I'll do it myself." Suddenly the Guru faded out of existence and left Nail and a shocked Dende behind. "How did he do that?!" Dende yelled. "Yea, the longer you stick around here the less you'll question these things." Nail assured him. It was a beautiful day in Ponyville and Twilight and her friends had decided to have lunch in the town circle. Which was going great until a fat green alien began to materialize beside them like the Doctor's Tardis. "Hmm, seems brighter than I thought it would be." Guru stated as he looked around. "Uhh...Hello?" Twilight was the first to approach the monster. "Dear Celestia! I know we've just met, but how are you so fat!" Rainbow Dash yelled in surprise to the Guru. "Oh, hello. My name's Super Kami Guru and I'm not judging you on your appearance. And believe me, going around with a rainbow colored flag on your head is not the smartest idea." Rainbow Dash was furious but Twilight held her back with her magic. "Easy Rainbow, we know nothing about this creature." "Yea, listen to your master." the Guru was trying to work her nerves. "So are you here to conquer us or something?" Twilight asked. The Guru let out a long laugh, "Please, I already own this place. But that's for another time. Important thing is I finally get to meet you all, you're very popular on Earth." "I don't understand...popular?" Twilight said and released Rainbow Dash. "Oh yea, you all have a T.V show, toy line, shirts. The whole nine yards." the Guru replied. "Huh, go figure." Twilight said. "You mean this doesn't bother you Twilight?" Rarity asked "Well it makes sense, the universe is a vast place." Twilight replied to her. "But what about." Rarity cleared her throat, "Private moments." The Guru cut in, "Oh don't worry, they don't show that stuff on the T.V." "Oh thank goodn-" "That's what the internets for." Guru finished his statement. Rarity was frozen in place. And the Guru got concerned looks from all the ponies. "Yep, the internet's a brutal place." Guru said. Suddenly Princess Celestia came down from Canterlot in a Pegasus drawn carriage to visit with Twilight and her friends. "Oh look, the white supremacist is here." "I'm sorr-" "Luna's better." Celestia paused for a moment then finished her last statement. "I'm sorry?" Twilight on the other hand sat back with her friends to let the situation play out. "Yea, you better watch her. She'll destroy your smug ass." Guru said. "I'll have you know that me and my sister are very close." "How sad, she's already lured you into a false sense of security." Guru added. Celestia turned to her student who was actually holding back a laugh at the Gurus accusations. "See, she gets it." he added. Celestia walked over and hit Twilight over the head with a hoof then whispered in her ear, "Keep an eye on him." She then took off towards Canterlot to deal with Luna. "Oh no! Look what you've done." Twilight was upset towards his actions since Luna might have to go back to the moon. "Yea...I'm just gonna say, my bad on that one." The Guru replied hoping it would fix the situation. Twilight was speechless and it was Applejacks turn to say something. "Now I know yer new an all but seriously, did you have to mess with the Princess like that." The Guru thought about it for a moment. "Yea, it was inevitable. What I can't get over was how long she lasted here." Twilight muttered a sentence, "It was short lived, wasn't it." There was a pause to the weird conversation but Rainbow Dash broke it, "Am I super cool on Earth like I am here?" "Oh yea, and you're considered to be bisexual." "I...really didn't need to know that." she replied. "Hey, I tell it like it is." "Don't you have something else to do? Maybe other responsibilities?" Twilight asked. "Nails got it covered." Twilight didn't know who this Nail was but knew better than to ask. Suddenly a thought occurred to her, "Did you say that you already own us?" "Yea, Celestia doesn't know it yet. And now, as your new leader. From this day forward this place will be know as...Equestria 2.0. "I don't think you can do that." Twilight stated. "No wait!...It shall be known as Super Kami Guru land." The Guru was happy with his decision and took a mental note to have Nail come here and plant a flag someday. "Hey! We'll fight for our land!" Rainbow Dash yelled and was in attack position. "Yea, yea. Hold on a minute." The Guru pulled out a piece of notebook paper and read from his Things to do when I go to Equestria list. "Lets see." he said, "Make contact with the main 6. check. Fuck with Celestia." Guru looked towards Canterlot and saw multiple bolts of magic being shot around from two dueling princesses. "check...Let Derpy know what some parents on Earth think of her...not check, hmm." Guru quickly scanned the sky and found Derpy enjoying a good muffin on a cloud. "Derpy! Deerrpppy!" The Guru yelled as if he was calling for Nail. "Hm, who's calling me?" Derpy asked out loud. "I am!... Earth people think you're stupid!...wait a minute." Guru looked down at his paper then back up, "I meant offensive!" Derpy was unsure how to respond to this and just returned to her muffins. "Stubborn bitch...Well, I think I'm done here." Guru said out loud. "But we've barely learned anything about you." Twilight said. "Just look me up on the internet." Guru said as he faded from existence again. "What's the internet?!" Twilight asked out loud as she now developed a headache of confusion. And that was it. As quickly as Super Kami Guru graced their lives with his presence he was gone. The Guru reappeared in his giant chair with Dende and Nail waiting for him. "How was your trip, sir." Nail asked. "Uneventful...Dende take this down. It's going to make one hell of a story." "Where are you posting it?" Nail asked. "On Fimfiction.net." Guru replied with confidence. "Think it'll be featured?" The Guru let out a loud laugh, "Unlikely, but there's always that chance Nail...There's always that chance." The Guru began to look up and out of the giant window in front of him and dreamed of all the likes and favorites he would get, maybe even some new followers.