The Summer Sun celebration was underway, and it wasn’t going well. The guests were tired of eating apple flavored pastries, but they were too polite to hurt Applejack’s feelings. However, things started looking up when some literally divine intervention gave them an excuse to get out of there and go get some real food. Nightmare Moon had just crashed the party and declared herself the new ruler of Equestria.
“We need to assemble a team of ponies with attitude!” cried the Mayor
“Ooh ooh! Pick me!” yelled out Pinkie Pie
“You want attitude, it’s gotta be me!” declared Rainbow Dash
“Braeburn just loves a mare in uniform” gushed Applejack
“Or, I could just handle this myself” interjected Cassandra.
“Do you think we could tag along anyway?” asked Twilight, “what better way to learn than to shadow a pony as beautiful and wise as yourself?” Cassandra was immune to that kind of flattery, but she admired Twilight’s determination
“Alright, you can come” said Cassandra. The other six beamed with excitement.
*****
The Mane 7 journeyed deep into the Everfree Forest. It became progressively darker as they went.
“I know a fun game to pass the time” said Pinkie Pie, “It’s called ‘Things You’re Intolerant Of!’”
“How does it work?” asked Twilight, who had always been too busy with the books to learn games
“You just say things you’re intolerant of,” replied Pinkie Pie, “like this… I’m intolerant of rocks. They’re boooooring!”
“Oh, I get it!” said Twilight excitedly, “I’m intolerant of snakes. They scare me, and some of them are poisonous. What about you Cassandra?”
“Bullying” she replied, “I have a zero-tolerance policy for it.”
“I’m intolerant of dirt” said Rarity, “It’s the natural enemy of dresses. Incidentally, if anypony’s interested, I’m at about a 4 out of 10 in terms of comfort level.”
“Ah’m intolerant of bisexuals,” said Applejack, “they’re weird.”
“Here here” said everypony except Cassandra.
“Hold on just a minute!” said Cassandra, “It’s not right to discriminate against ponies based on their sexual orientation.”
“We’re sorry Cassandra” said the other 6. They resolved to be more tolerant in the future.
“Twilight, why don’t you write Princess Celestia every time you learn something” suggested Cassandra.
“That’s a great idea, I will.” said Twilight.
“And I have something to tell you all,” continued Cassandra, I.. am bisexual.” Collective gasp.
“What’s it like to kiss a mare?” asked Rarity
“I… don’t know” said Cassandra ashamedly, “I never have.”
“I could help you practice kissing” said Rarity, “I shall be your canvas on which to hone your art.”
“Count me in too!” said Rainbow Dash excitedly.
“I… I want to help too, Cassandra” said Fluttershy timidly
“That’s so kind of you!” said Cassandra with a beautiful smile, “I love what you’ve done with your mane, by the way.” Fluttershy swooned, nearly passing out.
“Ah’ll help ya too, sugarcube!” declared Applejack.
“Thanks” said Cassandra flatly, “but three is about all I can handle.” That was a lie, but this wasn’t the time or place to express all the repugnance she felt at the thought of kissing the apple pony.
Suddenly, the ground collapsed underneath the Mane 7’s feet, and they found themselves in the midst of a landslide. Most of them jumped out of the way, but Twilight found herself on the edge of a cliff. Applejack grabbed her hooves and said,
“Let go of mah hooves.”
“What? Why?” said a bewildered Twilight,
“Because ah told ya to and ah always tell th’ truth.”
“That’s a terrible reason!” shouted Twilight.
“Twilight!” yelled Cassandra, “Fluttershy and Dash are directly below you, and they’ll catch you as soon as you let go”
“Well why didn’t you just say so?” yelled Twilight, chagrined. She dropped down and let the duo of pegasi catch her.
“Well shucks Cassandra, what’d ya do that for?” whined Applejack, “Ah was tryin’ to demonstrate mah honesty.”
“Honesty means nothing unless you have her trust. Which you don’t.”
*****
Next, they came upon and angry manticore. They tried to fight it, but were swatted away. Cassandra, who preferred nonviolent methods, intervened quickly,
“Manticore!” she yelled, “If you let my friends and I pass by, I’ll teach you how to kill more efficiently. Deal?”
The manticore nodded, so Cassandra continued,
“Use the sharp part of your tail. Here, why don’t you try it out on the orange pony?”
Applejack’s face lit up at the prospect of doing something useful.
“It’s ok” said the manticore, “I trust you. Be on your way now.”
As they neared the castle, they faced many more perils. First they came to a forest of scary trees, which Cassandra disposed of with a chainsaw. Next Steven Magnet’s moustache fell off so Casssandra fixed it with the moustache growing spell. And finally, a team of Shadowbolts tried to lead Rainbow Dash astray, but Cassandra roundhouse kicked them until they ran away crying. Rainbow Dash was so grateful, she agreed to do some practice kissing later.
Finally, they arrived at Nightmare Moon’s castle.
“Stay back, It’s dangerous in here” said Cassandra, but her words were ignored.
“Look! Those stone spheres have symbols just like our cutie marks!” exclaimed Twilight, “These must be the elements of harmony!”
“ FOOLS!” shouted Nightmare Moon, materializing from dark blue smoke, “You thought you could beat me! Now you shall pay for your defiance!”
She stomped her hooves and the spheres shattered into pieces. Then she drew in dark energy and blasted the seven ponies with a deadly lunar beam. They leapt out of the way and ducked behind some rubble, but Applejack was clumsy and tripped over her own hooves. She slammed into the ground moments before the beam hit her full force. There was a loud POP and a bright flash, and when the light cleared, a slightly charred floor tile was all that remained where Applejack stood.
“That’s enough, sister!” yelled Cassandra. She leapt out, somersaulted in midair, and landed on the ground in a fighting pose. Her eyes began to glow white, and the room began to glow too. Twilight and friends felt the weight of the jewelry as it suddenly materialized onto them; a tiara for twilight, necklaces for the other 4, and a golden suit of armor encrusted with jewels for Cassandra. A rainbow ribbon made of mystical light encircled Nightmare Moon, draining the evil and malice out of her.
"I can't believe you saved all of Equestria" said Twilight
"Well that's just one of the perks of being a princess, I stepped down from the throne because I was too powerful, but I still have all my powers" said Cassandra, "For I am the seventh element of Harmony, Trust."
"I understand," said Twilight, "I should have trusted that you could save Equestria, thank you for teaching me this lesson. You should hang out with us and go on our adventures."
“It would be my honor” said Cassandra.
And so, Equestria was saved. Luna regained her place at the throne, and Twilight decided that staying in Ponyville was worth it after all.
“You know what this calls for?” said Pinkie, “A party!”
So they had their party, with real food this time, and Celestia said,
“Let us raise a glass to savior of Ponyville, and the world, Cassandra”
The crowd cheered,
“And let us also give toast to Applejack,” said Cassandra, “who distracted Nightmare Moon long enough for me to charge up my spell”
“As long as we’re not toasting with apple cider!” declared Twilight. They all laughed.