//------------------------------// // The Cat Burglar, Part 2 // Story: The Cassandra Chronicles // by CassandraMyOCisBestpony //------------------------------// Mood Music I left the castle in a real cloud of haze, and it wasn't just because everypony smokes in this time period. What kind of demented jewel thief would steal the most valuable prize in Equestria, only to bring them back a day later? The castle may not have been a library, but justice would be long overdue if the Princess had her way. I did tell her I'd hang up my hat on this case, but I've always said that honesty is the least important Element. When something seemed out of place, one immediate suspect came to mind, Me and him didn't see eye-to-eye on the order vs. chaos debate, but I had way of making stone-cold criminals sing like canaries. Cassandra wandered through the statue garden, until she found the patch of grass where the Elements box had left its impression. An odd-looking pink and white flower petal lay on the ground nearby, but nothing else seemed amiss There was one good thing about their indifference; no police tape or coppers standing between me and the crime scene. Just as Cassandra predicted, the box's resting place was a mere two feet from the statue of Discord. This couldn't have been a coincidence. Cassandra faced the statue. "Reveille, Discord. You and I are gonna have a talk. You wanna imply I'm stupid, or you wanna cut to the chase and tell me what I came to hear?" Discord's ethereal form emerged from the statue, "Cassandra! So good to see you again! And before you ask, yes I forgive you for defeating me after Twilight and her friends failed to." "A lotta strange things've been happening, call me crazy but I think you played a hand in them." "Why yes, thank you for noticing, I have lost weight. All of it actually, since I don't have a body anymore." "You better start cooperating or I won't be keepin' my good cop hat on for much longer! The very thing you've wanted to get your hands on goes missing, and then mysteriously reappears right next to you!" "Bah, circumstantial evidence. You've got nothing on me" replied the draconequis. Out of frustration, Cassandra gave the statue a kick. Because of her level 99 strength, it was enough to topple it over onto its back. "Oh, now you're just being petty" scoffed Discord, "I had a great view of Canterlot Proper." Cassandra brought her face inches away from his and shouted, "Listen here you big palooka! I know you're hiding something from me! Now you got about 5 seconds to start talking before I give you a permanent view of the bottom of the Hudson river" "Alright, alright, I give" said Discord in mock resignation, "One clue, I'll give it to you in the form of a riddle." He cleared his throat, "If you need to offload some hot cargo, it's quite uncommon to find somepony who'll take it." "Rarity." said Cassandra instantly "Oh, you're no fun" huffed Discord, "you could've at least pretended to struggle for a minute." "I could've" "Fine, whatever. Go on with your unfun life with your unfun detective work. Oh, and pick me back up unless you want to get a ticket for vandalism." Cassandra obliged, but turned the statue so it faced the wall. "Hey!" complained Discord. "I'm not convinced I won't need something else from you." said Cassandra, hurrying off to Rarity's "And I'm not convinced that I'll ever help you again!" Discord called back, but the beautiful PI was out of earshot. ***** The resident gem expert went by the name Rarity. She had a knack for finding precious stones, and could spot a dud gem from a mile away. She'd been prospecting for my heart since we first met, so I figured she'd be more than happy to have a little chat. Cassandra opened the door to the Carousel Boutique, the bell at the entrance giving a cute jingle-jangle. "Well hello there Cassandra" said a sultry transatlantic voice. From the back room came an alabaster unicorn with a purple mane. Her face was adorned with crimson lipstick, turquoise eye shadow, and mascara that really made her lashes pop. She was smoking a cigarette with a fashionable ivory holder. "Are you perchance here to shop for a diamond ring for a very special somepony?" She batted her eyelashes. "Sorry to disappoint, pussycat" said Cassandra, "I'm a long way off from being ready for the ol' ball-and-chain. I'm here on other business." "Oh. Well that's ok too. Would that business be pleasure?" "Not this time" said Cassandra, "this is about the Elements of Harmony, and their whereabouts." "But did they not find those already, dear?" asked Rarity. "So they say. But I'm coverin' all bases. You move a lotta jewelry, don't you, pussycat? Any chance that maybe you acquired a set of odd colorful stones recently?" "Excuse me!" huffed Rarity, "but if you are suggesting that my shop would fence stolen jewelry for the common riffraff, then you can just leave right now!" "Put the claws away, pussycat. Covering all the bases is my job, can't let feelings get in the way." "Fine, we can be impersonal. I was going to tell you what I know, but now.." she leaned against the wall with her back arched, "you'll have to force it out of me." "I'll write you an IOU, you know I'm good for it." "That I do. Very well. I was not at the castle that day, but Applejack was. She was delivering apples to the princess. Besides she has a motive I don't; her lack of business acumen has put her family and business deep into debt." "That all you got?" asked Cassandra skeptically, "you better think twice if you're holding out on me" "Darling, I am a dressmaker, not some gossip columnist for a sleazy tabloid. How much must I give before you are satisfied?" "I could ask you the same question, pussycat." "Touche." ***** Sweet Apple Acres was home to the biggest apple mover this side of the Missisippi. This pony was hardly the apple of my eye, but her ego was a lot like her fruit; a lot more pleasant for everyone if it didn't get bruised. I had to play it cool, make it seem like I was on her side. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Hopefully I could catch one with apples. Cassandra arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, and was greeted by a large red stallion, Big Macintosh, the boss's brother and highest-ranking bodyguard. He gave her a quick patdown, and upon finding no weapons, motioned for her to proceed. "Tell me honest, big fella, you enjoy that as much as I did?" smirked Cassandra "Eeyup," replied Big Mac, though his face telegraphed nothing. Cassandra passed through the archway, and was greeted by the ranch owner Applejack. She was wearing a ruffly Southern Belle dress of granny smith green and candy apple red. She carried an apple-patterned parasol, "Why I do declare, if it isn't Cassandra!" greeted Applejack "How are you doin', sugar?" "Been better" replied the dashing detective, "I've been grasping at straws with the latest case." "My oh my, ain't that just the appleseed in the crust." "Thought we could have a little talk about that delivery you made to the castle." "Whatever for, sugarcube?" asked Applejack, "that wasn't nothing but a plain ol' crate o' apples." "Something very valuable went missing on the day you were there. Normally you couldn't get into the castle, but on that day they let you right in the front door." "Well don't that just roast mah cornbread!" exclaimed Applejack, "Goin' round accusin' ponies like that won't get you nowhere, 'cept on the business end o' Big Mac's rear hooves." "Maybe so, but I happen to know that the Apple Family needed a big payoff and fast." "Well fry my okra an' call me Turnover, y'all really are serious. Well you best stop barkin' up the wrong tree because ah wasn't the only one there under the pretense of deliverin' apples, Rainbow Dash was lendin' me some muscle. Y'all best stop flappin your lips here an' go do some detectivin' with her." "Just doin' my job sweetcheeks, it's never personal;" said Cassandra brusquely. Applejack relaxed her indignancy, "Ah suppose ya are just puttin' apples in your bushel." "I know you had nothing to do with this, sweetcheeks, but I gotta cover all my bases. I'll be on my way," said Cassandra as she departed. "Y'all take care now" said Applejack. **** Applejack wasn't very good at lying, and by consequence, not good at telling when somepony else was. I'd challenge her to a game of poker, except I didn't think I'd be keeping my kneecaps after she started to lose. And since I'd grown fond of being able to walk, it seemed like an equally bad idea to keep pressuring her without proof to back it up. But Rainbow Dash was with her on the day, and should've seen everything that AJ did. The two of them were locked together like a couple of chains, and all I had to do was break the weaker link. By charming or harming, I'd have to get her to spill. "And they're off! It's Fleetfoot takin' an early lead, but what's this folks? Spitfire shoots up from the rear, and now she's neck and neck, let me tell ya folks that girl's got plenty of spunk, and she'll need it if she wants to clean all their clocks in this race..." As Cassandra hovered near Rainbow Dash's cloud house door, she could hear the radio blaring through the window. She knocked several times, but nopony answered. Finally, she gave the handle a turn, and upon seeing it was unlocked, she gave the door a light push, and let herself in. "Dash?" called out Cassandra, "gotta talk to you" "Hey shaddup!" yelled back Rainbow Dash, emerging from the antechamber, "the Wonderbolts're on!" "We can talk about this here and now, or we can do it downtown in however many minutes it takes for me to fly you there. What's it gonna be, toots?" "You'se bluffing" said Rainbow Dash flatly, "Carrot Top aint got no proof I took dose carrots! The perp was movin' too fast for anypony to see!" "Thanks the leverage," replied Cassandra, "but I'm here with a much bigger fish to fry - your delivery on the day of the heist." "What about it? It illegal for a mare ta make an honest day's living?" "It is if you were to say, enter the castle, drop off the crate, then wander around for a bit. Maybe find a set of jewels that looked too good to be cooped up in that dusty storage vault?" Rainbow Dash guffawed, "Hah! You really thought you could trick me with that? F'get about it! Me and Applejack dropped off da crate yeah, but da guard didn't even let us in! He just took da crate an' told us to scram. So you see? I couldn'ta gotten my hooves dirty." "Well then I guess I owe you an apology" conceded Cassandra "You could apologize by kissin' me on the lips" suggested Dash, "Why don't I give you a gift instead?" replied Cassandra. From her bag she pulled out the pink and white flower petal from the crime scene, "Any idea what this is?" she asked. "You gotta get out more, C, that's an apple blossom" said Dash, proud of her trivial aptitude "but why do you have it...?" Her face fell, and her eyes went wide with panic. She didn't know quite what was going on, but it was clear she'd fallen into some kind of incriminating trap. "It's almost midnight, toots" replied Cassandra, "get some sleep." This was just the break I needed. I knew they were in cahoots, and now I had one of them ready to spill. Applejack was a punctual sort of filly, I knew she'd be up as soon as the rooster crowed, and I'd be right there waiting. I'd always wondered what happened when you put an apple in a pressure cooker, and now I was about to find out. ***** Cassandra arrived at Sweet Apple Acres just as the sun was peeking over the horizon. Just like the day before, Big Macintosh was stoically minding his post. "Remember me big fella?" teased Cassandra. "Eeyup," he replied "Any chance I could speak to the boss again?" "Nnope." "And why's that?" "Because she's dead." Dramatic Music Sting.