Chapter 4 - New day
****Golden Oak Library***
When the morning sun slowly rose on the distant horizon, its warm sunrays bathed the colorful roofs of homes in Ponyville. The small city slowly came to life once again to welcome the new day, its many inhabitants waking from slumber. Doors and windows all around opened slowly as ponies everywhere prepared to live another day of work, school or just enjoy their free time.
In the big, ancient tree, which stood mighty in this small town and which housed thousands of various books, the situation wasn’t any different as the green eyes of certain dragon opened slowly to scan the surroundings. While the owner of those emerald colored orbs would certainly like to catch some more moments of precious sleep, it was not something he could allow himself to do.
Sitting up, Spike the dragon stretched widely, hearing the pleasant sound of his bones cracking, his muscles tensing after the relaxing night. He didn’t sleep too well as his dreams were far from pleasant ones but the familiar place and smell of dusty books certainly offered him greater rest than he could allow himself in those last eighteen years.
The room in which he awoke wasn’t anything fancy, just one of the empty ones for times when Twilight would invite guests for a night…which was not so rare in that last year. As for the reason why he wasn’t sleeping in the same room as she like he used to do in the past, the answer was obvious… he could no longer fit into the small basket. Of course, he could always stay at the Sugarcube Corner, like Pinkie suggested, but the lavender furred alicorn objected forcefully to the idea of him sleeping anywhere else but home.
He assumed that the reason about her decision was made partially because she still felt insecure, as if he could vanish on her any moment and partially because she probably wanted to ask her questions as soon as possible seeing as yesterday’s night he dodged most of them not knowing how much he should exactly tell her.
The purple dragon himself still had too many confusing thoughts as to what happened exactly so he still played it safe for now. However Twilight, being the bookworm she was, tried to come up with the idea why he aged this much which eased him a little. As much as he understood from her lecture, time in void had different flow… but the rest was just her rambling, probably result of her obsessed research to bring him back too complex for him to comprehend. She even took some tests and determined that he was four years older… how she did that, was a total mystery to Spike, but he was grateful nonetheless.
Shaking his head to get the remnants of his sleep away, Spike quickly figured that sitting and remembering yesterday won’t accomplish much, so he leaved his room and made his way down the stairs. As for being bored…he wasn’t going to be, seeing as the lavender colored mare made a big mess of books during his absence… he was glad to learn that other mares cleaned here a little for if they didn’t he dreaded how the library would t look.
Figures, she wouldn’t clean everything without me because it would cost too much time she could use to do research – He chuckled at his thoughts. His old memories told him enough that he didn’t feel out of place in here. In fact, he knew exactly what needed to be done so without further delay he quickly went to west shelves and started to rearrange the books there. As he worked, the events of yesterday once again played in his mind. While part of him was glad that he got to met up with his old friends, he still found himself struggling to think of them that way.
It has been one year… worth eighteen for me, of course I would feel out of place around them. – He reasoned within himself, but that wasn’t everything there was to it. While his younger self was able to live everyday without much care for future like any kid would do, his current, older self was afraid to become close to others. The memories from another world didn’t help his cause. It didn’t matter if all of it could have been real or a dream…the many stories and art he saw about himself growing up and others dying of old age… or him leaving Twilight… or Twilight dying and leaving him… those thoughts actually terrified him. Truly, destiny was cruel to him, for he remembered many times he hated his human life because of lack of friends… and now that he could have his friends back, he was actually afraid of opening up to them because it all would hurt later.
“Spike?” Suddenly called the delicate voice from behind, making him jump slightly in surprise and spin around rapidly. When his dragon eyes looked at Twilight, who was tiredly making her way down the steps, he felt a wave of calmness wash over him. The dragon was so preoccupied that he didn’t actually hear her coming out of her room…and that was nearly impossible for the mare could be really loud in the morning as he remembered it.
“Morning Twilight” He called in reply, getting back to his job as number one assistant, which for him was an anchor to his old and better life, one without hurt and pain. Besides, doing everything like it used to be one year before the accident was his own way to repay the mare for her year of tears… not to mention that he felt that he had one year of work piled up…literally, as there were piles and piles of books lying around. – Really, I doubt even cutie marks crusaders would be able to compete with her when it came to making mess all around.
“I didn’t expect you to be so early up and working…on this” The lavender alicorn commented, while looking around the library as if only now realizing the state this place was in, embarrassed blush coming to her cheeks. “Well…I figured this place could use some more cleaning seeing as you patiently waited for me to do it.” He said with hint of laughter which made Twilight look down at the ground in more embarrassment while shifting from hove to hove. For some minutes no words were uttered, as either of them was trying to come up with good way to resume conversation. They did talk at the party but it was more… comfortable there. Finally the alicorn sighed and began, as she was not one who could withstand silence. “I’m sorry…” She muttered, which made the dragon look at her, his expression puzzled.
“Don’t worry I can clean this mess in no time!” He reassured her with wide grin, but already knowing that it wasn’t what she was apologizing for. Still, it made Twilight smile a bit, before she continued on more serious note.
“If I…listened to you and prepared better, then none of it would have happened.” Replied Twilight, struggling for right words, unable to look him in the eyes while clearly ashamed of herself. She already apologized for what seemed to be hundreds of times at the party much to Pinkie annoyance who wanted them all to be happy at that moment. The purple dragon was about to tell her yet again that it was alright, when suddenly an idea popped up in his mind. Twilight Sparkle, the element of magic, was known to be genius and Spike actually had the problem about his ‘too long lifespan’ which made him unable to befriend everypony again… who could help him with this better than the purple mare? – Besides, it would take her mind of past accident and give her a chance to do something that matters to me - he thought and then began to proceed with his plan “I’m not sure you should be apologizing at all Twi. This accident made me realize a lot of things after all.” He said, and as expected a spark of curiosity showed in her purple eyes as her attention fully focused on his words.
“Such as?” Asked Twilight but quickly casted her eyes down upon realization what his words carried with them. “Sorry…This must be hard on you, suddenly growing up and all of that…”She began apologizing yet again but the purple dragon dropped on all fours and stopped her by placing his claw on her head…being higher when he stood on his hind legs had its advantages while cleaning but it still felt odd during conversations with his friends… after all he used to look up to them. Being on the same eyelevel was actually more to his liking and the idea that he could pat Twilight on her head was somewhat funny, because the mare used to do this when he was smaller.
“Don’t be sorry…its actually quite an interesting experience and I guess you must have a lot of questions about how I feel. If you want I can answer them if I can… I actually have some questions on my own so it will be a fair trade.” He offered, mentally smiling to himself. Knowing, how curious she was there was no way she would refuse this deal and he would be able to ease her guilt a little at the same time. “Really? I mean…yesterday you didn’t want to talk too much about all that happened… what made you change your mind so suddenly?” Inquired Twilight, which made Spike bash himself in his thoughts. True, he didn’t want to talk yesterday and at one time he even told her that there really isn’t anything important to talk about…but that was only an excuse because he was still confused about everything, at least more than today.
“ I suppose I needed some sleep to think everything over. If you want, just ask anything while I’m cleaning those books and I will tell you what I know. After all I want to understand everything myself.” He concluded with wide grin and reassumed his task of rearranging the whole mess…and seeing as magic books were within Daring Do pile, this will take him a while because their respective shelves were opposite of each other! – Did she read those books or practiced throwing them around? – He thought and even smiled at his own idea for Twilight wasn’t the strongest pony… she was more of an egghead than athlete even thought his younger self would often suggest she would do some physical exercises… which she rarely did.
“Um…okay. Let’s start from the basics. The spell I casted was supposed to send object A ‘the apple’ to the void which was ‘destination Y’ from its starting place ‘destination X’…you know, the place that is infinitely empty. This spell was developed by Star Swirl the Bearded and according to ancient texts it was for managing space by putting matter from our world inside that infinity and getting them back at will when needed. The spell however had a big flaw, it couldn’t be casted back, meaning that whatever would end up in the void would stay there forever…” She began but gradually stopped while looking at Spike curiously. As far as she could remember the dragon would put in some witty comment by now or simplify things much to her annoyance... but he did neither of those and simply continued his work. – Does he understand everything or simply ignores my ‘blabbering’ as he often called it? Wait! I don’t blabber! Ugh, never mind Twilight, back on topic… - Getting new breath, she continued with her explanation seeing as the dragon was too focused on his task to even interrupt.
“Princess Celestia gave me an assignment to research it and maybe by some luck, improve it just as I did with the last spell which promoted me to being alicorn. If I could do it, then it could be used like Star Swirl the Bearded wanted to but… I… rushed the process because of deadline and…” She gradually started to lose her voice, and sensing what was coming next, Spike decided to intervene now, not wishing to deal with waterworks later. “It is okay Twilight, I know that what happened wasn’t intentional…” He assured her softly and the grateful look she gave him calmed the atmosphere. “…so… do you have any questions?” Inquired the purple dragon while holding book about poisons which was in the pile about cooking… - definitely not the best place…but with Twilight’s cooking skills who knows…
“A whole lot. First of all...what was the void like?” She asked, and Spike noticed that she had her quill and parchment ready, as it levitated before her, purple eyes sparkling with excitement. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the mare behavior which he knew so well… No matter the pain and time this was still the old Twilight, who simply couldn’t let the new knowledge just fly around without writing it down and then convert it into essay for Princess Celestia.
“It was dark. I mean, it’s still foggy but I remember flying aimlessly in darkness… well, not darkness as in Everfree forest during nighttime. I don’t have anything to refer it to but I can certainly tell you, that it wasn’t pleasant, it was like floating in dark water. Time seemed to not exist there, so you can pretty much imagine my surprise, waking up and finding myself to be older… who knows how many years exactly, yes I know you told me it is around four years for my body.” Spike slowed down, seeing as Twilight struggled a little with the tempo. Gesturing vigorously, as he continued his tale, he tried to express all that happened, especially the orb of white light which sent him back. His body movements still felt awkward and truth be told, he still couldn’t find himself using it, his movements seemed to be clumsy but it was better than yesterday. – Thank Celestia that Pinkie insisted for me to dance… it really helped.
“I said that going by the anatomy books, but there is no certainty Spike. Maybe you have aged three…four…maybe even six years. I believe it is four but don’t know exactly. Back on topic, I think we can assume that time in the void flows differently, which actually would answer why it is impossible to store anything there.” She stated, looking as Spike curiously when mentioning his anatomy which made him think that if she could, she would probably dissect him to get more answers to prove her theory about his age being four years more. “Strange isn’t it? I mean, only one year passed in Ponyville” He replied, while shifting uncomfortably under her gaze. Turning back to the books he once again began rearranging… and he was pleased to finally find out that there was an actual floor under one of the piles… even if it was dirty and would need cleaning later.
“I will try to research it later… and if I find anything maybe I will be able to tell you exactly how much older you are now. Was there anything else?” Asked Twilight, but Spike already knew what to say to it. “No. I remember only the void and even that is quite hard to explain.” He replied, trying to sound as natural as possible. He could feel the alicorn looking at him for long time before he heard her sigh. Was she able to tell through his lie? Spike hoped she didn’t.
“I see… well I suppose that’s enough questions for now.” She began to say, but was quickly stopped by the purple dragon, who turned to her and stopped before she could go away “Actually, I would like to ask you about something…” He began, which made the lavender mare look at him even more quizzically, but not saying anything against it, motioning for him to continue. She couldn’t actually imagine what could the dragon ask her about.
“Remember the time when Trixie was casting the aging spell?” Asked Spike, which made Twilight furrow her eyebrows, attention now fully focused on her friend, as she didn’t expect him to ask about that of all things. It was a distant memory after all, which didn’t had any connection to the accident… - Does he want me to make him younger? – She pondered and prepared to say it out loud but the dragon didn’t gave her chance as he continued. “The void… me aging… it made me realize something.”
“Which is?” She inquired, unable to comprehend what Spike was getting at. At this point she already knew that it wasn’t about her casting the aging spell… but if this wasn’t it then what? And what could Trixie have to do about all this?
“I’m a dragon Twilight” Replied Spike, which in his opinion should be sufficient answer, but it turned out that he overestimated the smart lavender alicorn a little bit. “I know that Spike… what are you getting at?”Issued her question Twilight, to which Spike sighed and slouched a little. – Yep, definitely overestimated her intellect.
“I will live long Twi… longer than any of you.” He finally managed to say and the expression of full realization hit Twilight like a sudden cold rain during sunny day. Breathing deeply, she came closer to console her friend about this. Twilight actually knew that one day they would have this talk but didn’t suppose it would be today, after his return from void when so much was still unanswered. Thankfully she researched the subject beforehand and knew what to say to Spike. “Spike…we all die one day… that’s why we must make most of our time while we are alive. I know it is hard to accept, but one day you will join the other dragons and then…” She whispered softly, but unknown to her it wasn’t what Spike wanted, for he was looking at it with more pragmatic look.
“You misunderstand me Twilight.” He stopped her in mid sentence, voice serious as never before. “I’m not interested in knowledge of death or what to do after you all die and how to cope with it. I’m interested about what to do to prevent this outcome.” His strong eyes penetrated her purple ones, searching for answers as his deep voice resounded around the library walls, making the alicorn stare at her dragon companion with open jaw… for she NEVER expected him to search for magical knowledge to do something like that.
“Besides, let’s be real Twi. We both know how other dragons are and I really have no intention to be around the likes of them. What I want is ever more complex.” The words left from Spike’s mouth, one after another, as images of his possible future drifted through his head, making him overreact emotionally… but he wouldn’t succumb to the cruel fate, he already knew death and pain of losing something precious and that’s what made him say his next words with no longer pleading tone but demanding which scarred the alicorn. “I need your help. If there are spells that can change age, then there must be some kind of spell that can shorten my own lifespan to match that of other ponies…. There must be something, because I don’t want to live for thousands of years watching you all die and rot in earth.”
As the words were spoken by him, the uncomfortable silence filled the library. His gaze never wavering still studied Twilight’s eyes but unexpected to him they soon turned into angry look. “It’s impossible.” She stated but seeing the surfacing anger from her dragon companion, the elaboration on the subject came next. Calming herself down a little Twilight decided to explain it all properly. “The known age changing spells aren’t temporary Spike… Besides it is forbidden to change what nature made, not to mention that either lengthening or shortening one’s lifespan is prohibited by Equestrian law. That is what Princess Celestia said to me when I asked if alicorns are immortal. She said that while me and Cadence became alicorns truth is, only her and Luna are ageless. If one were to force the research they could end up like Discord or Sombra and so it is banned to study the advanced change of lifespan. I’m sorry but there is nothing to be done.”
Anger. He never thought he could be angry like this, but now he was, as there was a lot of stress and fear in his dragon heart. It wasn’t Twilight’s fault but… right now he didn’t care, he needed to express his emotions which overwhelmed him. “So you care about the law more than your friend happiness?” He asked, voice dripping with bitterness as he almost spit the word ‘friend’ on the floor, shocking the lavender mare.
“I-it’s not like that!” She yelled back, but was unable to come up with any logical reason behind it all… on one hand, the law was strict about the subject and she knew Equestrian law like nopony else. She didn’t want to offend her teacher by doing forbidden research… but on the other hand there was Spike and she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him and the future that would definitely come…still… “It’s not like your future is destined to be bad!” She tried to make some sense, but it was already a lost battle and yelling wasn’t going to fix what was breaking at this point…
She didn’t want the argument. She only tried to calm him… he could tell by simply looking into her eyes, that she tried very hard not to argue with him and rationalize everything but he already saw red everywhere. She was supposed to be his friend and yet she didn’t want to help him out when he was in need. Breathing hard, he tried to compose himself… yelling at her won’t accomplish anything and may yet worsen things. Taking one last deep breath, he decided to clear the air between them, if only temporary. – True friends were supposed to help in need… - Whispered his mind to him but he wouldn’t give in to temptation. Spike would calm down and then think everything over.
“Fine. I don’t like what you said but I won’t press you further about the subject since you already made your choice. Sorry for making you choose between Celestia words, the law and my needs.” Saying so, Spike turned back to the task he had… the books seemed to be infinite but this time he was glad that he had this much to do, to preoccupy himself. The purple dragon felt Twilight’s stare on his back, heard the quiet ‘sorry’ she muttered and her trotting away but his attention was elsewhere. True, that his future didn’t need to be bad like she said it but the images were there… the words from stories were there and it send shivers down his spine. His anger resurfaced for a moment, but soon turned into heartache as he was remembering what Twilight said to him and what he said to her in return. He felt betrayed by her.– Maybe I will talk to her again tomorrow. After all the friends are supposed to help you in need… do I need friends that can’t help me when I need them…?
Twilight on the other hand was by now in her bedroom, pondering at Spike’s last words. She wasn’t stupid, it was clear he was very upset with her but there really was nothing she could do… she wanted to, but there was the law and Celestia words and... –Ugh… way to go… you meet him after a year and the next day you argue when he comes with serious problem to you. Nice going there Twilight Sparkle, your socializing skills are as good as always. – she bashed herself mentally, feeling tears coming up to her eyes. His words hurt and she was confused. She was his friend and she failed him today. Sighing heavy and laying on her bed, she began to ponder about a way to make Spike happier… maybe a day off tomorrow to catch up with his friends would be good? She was certain he probably missed everyone, not to mention Rarity… - Yeah, that will definitely get his mind of things and then maybe we can talk about everything calmly and reasonable. After all we are best friends…