Chapter 50
After a short conversation with Prowler’s father the girls and I decided it was time to leave. We went to the train station and tried to buy a ticket, emphasis on tried. When we left from Prowler’s house I had forgotten to have Rarity hide my wings again, and I had been caught as an alicorn at the train station. And thus the rumors of a relative of the princesses began to spread through town yet again. When I got to the train station and tried to buy a ticket, the teller kept trying to give it to me for free. Also, the fact that we had decided to go to Canterlot before returning to Ponyville didn’t help my case at all. Eventually I just had to go along with it and ‘ordered’ him to take my money and give me a ticket. When we got on the train I could hear the girls behind me whispering and laughing quietly.
“Are you making fun of me behind my back?” I asked.
“Of course we aren’t your highness. We can do it right in front of you.” Rainbow answered, with a large smile and an exaggerated bow.
I rolled my eyes. “Please stop, I’ve had enough of that to last a life time. I don’t know how the princesses have dealt with all the formalities this long.” I said resting my head on Rainbow as we sat down on the train.
“So what’s the plan once we get to Canterlot and talk to the princesses?” Twilight asked.
“Don’t know, don’t care. Now if you’ll excuse me this window and I have a staring contest to get into.” I said as I looked out the window waiting for the train to depart.
“Come on, you must at least have something small planned.” Twilight told me.
“The only thing I have planned is to stare out this window and rest my mind before we get to Canterlot.” I responded.
“Well if you need to rest why don’t you just-” Twilight started but stopped herself.
“I take it you were going to say sleep, and you stopped when you realized exactly what that meant for me.” I said to her.
“Yeah, sorry about that.” She said.
“No big, it just means that it seems that I’m starting to be more normal, so truthfully it actually makes me a bit happier.” I told her, which seemed to set her a bit more at ease. “So any idea how long the trip is going to be?” I asked.
“The trip shouldn’t be longer that thirty minutes.” Twilight answered.
“Alright that isn’t too long. I should be able to piece something together by then.” I said aloud.
“What do you mean piece something together?” Rainbow questioned.
“Well whenever I’m on a trip like this where I don’t really have to think about anything I put my mind to a better use than just doing nothing.” I told them.
The girls still looked confused so Skies decided to try and explain herself. “He means that whenever thinking isn’t really necessary he uses his mind to create stories and other things like that.” She told them. “That’s why he always seems to stay out of conversations, because his mind just isn’t in the outside world.”
“Wait so you write stories?” Twilight asked.
“Technically yes, technically no.” I answered. “I think of stories or poetry on trips and then I write them all down in a small book I keep with me. I don’t do anything with the book, it’s just there. The only reason Skies even knows about it is because she stole it from my saddlebags while I wasn’t paying attention.” I said looking at my sister, who was acing overly innocent.
“Can I read some of them?” Twilight asked excitedly.
“No.” I told her bluntly.
“Why not?” Twilight asked me.
“Because they are very personal things, and I want them to stay personal.” I told her.
“Come on Shadow we’re your friends. You need to share some personal stuff with us from time to time, me especially.” Rainbow said to me.
“Alright the truth is, I don’t want you reading them is because of what’s in them. I can feel the dark emotions of ponies around me, and I’m probably one of the most mentally unstable ponies in all of Equestria. With my mindset, typically what I write isn’t something you would read for fun.” I said to them.
The girls were all looking at me with mixed emotions. Skies chose this opportunity to go against me. “You know he’s lying to you.” She said and I shot her a glare. “The real reason he doesn’t want you reading them is because the same book he uses to write in is also the book he uses as his dairy-”
“Personal Journal!” I told her. “I do not have a diary.”
“Fine, and his personal journal has a lot of personal secrets he doesn’t like to tell anypony.” Skies told them. ‘Why you betray me Skies.’ Skies decided to continue. “He’s so paranoid about it that he keeps it on him at all times.”
“Fine, so that’s the real reason I don’t want you to read it okay. It’s more than just short stories and poetry in it. Can we just leave it at that?” I asked them all.
“Nope.” Skies said lifting up a black book in her hoof that I immediately recognized. I quickly looked back at my saddlebags and noticed they were unbuckled. My eyes widened and I looked back at Skies. “Who want’s first look?” She asked the mares around me.
“Not happening!” I said loudly lunging towards Skies to retrieve the book, but an orange hoof stopped my progress. Applejack was in front of me impeding my progress to Skies. All of them had the same entertained smile as the book was encased it a violet aura. “Please don’t.” I pleaded with them.
“Come on Shadow there’s no reason to be ashamed of keeping a diary.” Twilight said.
“Personal Journal!” I corrected.
“Anyway, let’s take a look why don’t we?” Twilight said opening the cover. As her eyes started to glide over the page I could see he smile growing and her laughter becoming less and less contained. “Oh my gosh, this is so cute.” She said finally.
“What is it?” Rainbow asked.
“It’s from when he was just a foal. He can hardly even spell, and half of it is just scribbles” Twilight said passing the book around. As the girls read they all started to smile and laugh as well.
I hung my head in shame. “Please stop.” I pleaded yet again.
“Not a chance.” Rainbow said laughing. “How is it possibly to misspell, I?”
“It was the first time I tried writing with my mouth okay! It was hard and I didn’t feel like going back and correcting it!” I told them.
“How about something more recent?” Rainbow asked flipping through the pages. My eyes went wide. ‘Oh, please don’t find that page, please don’t find that page.’ I kept begging in my mind. Rainbow kept flipping through the book until something caught her eye. She flipped back a few pages to find it again. As her eyes moved throughout the page she had to use one hoof to keep from laughing outright. Eventually she fell to the floor and started laughing as hard as I had ever seen her laughing. The book fell open on the page she was looking at. When I saw the page all of my will just left my body, I knew the page and it was over.
Twilight levitated the book and started to read. She too started to laugh. “My gosh, it looks just like what a filly would write when she has her first crush.”
She started to show the page around to the other girls. The page had hearts all over it and a short little paragraph at the top. The most prominent feature was a heart in the middle of the page that had a simple sketch of Rainbow in the center of it.
I covered my head with my hooves. “It’s not my fault, I mean you’re not too far off.”
“What do you mean?” Rainbow asked.
“Well, I already told you that you were my first marefriend, but you’re also the first pony I’ve ever had a crush on as well.” I told them all.
“Really?” Rainbow asked. “You’ve never had a crush before.” I shook my head. “Wow, now that entry makes a lot more sense.”
“Can I just have my book back please?” I asked.
“Alright, I think we’ve had enough fun for now.” Twilight said levitating the book back over to me. I took it and put it back in my saddlebags, sitting back down as I did so. Rainbow came and sat down next to me.
“Hey, I’m sorry for doing that, but it just seemed like a once in a lifetime chance. It also probably helped to lighten the mood a little.” She said to me as she leaned her head against my side.
“I know, and you’re probably right. It’s never happening in your lifetime again.” I told her. She laughed slightly and leaned deeper into me. “I still would’ve preferred if Skies hadn’t ratted about my diary.”
“I thought it was a personal journal.” Rainbow said playfully.
“...Please don't tell anypony I called it that."