//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: Lucid Dreams // Story: High School Shenanigans // by Melancholy Angel //------------------------------// Hours had passed since that near miss with my mom and soon enough the sun was setting and she had already sent me to bed. (Hey, don't judge me. My mom still thinks I'm a little boy.) I guess the good part was that Luna and I were already in my room and ready to retire for the night, but before we decided to call it a day, I decided to brings op some of the days prior events "Luna, you really kicked their ass in Battlefield." I said, nodding my head in approval. "I cannot help it that they lack the so called 'skills' which they claimed prior to our competition." Luna replied smugly, waving off the compliment with a hoof. “I found it particularly entertaining that they were surprised at the fact that I was a mare.” “Yeah I remember that too.” I said shaking my head, “Even I wasn’t expecting you to rain death the way you did.” “They had it coming to them.” Luna said, “They were mere insects in need of being crushed.” "So, the fact that you can kill anything and anyone in this game doesn't disturb you abit?" I questioned. "Of course it disturbs me!” Luna answered in shock. “Never had I seen such rampant violence and destruction in over a thousand years!" "Well it’s kind of the world we live in.” I replied shrugging my shoulders, “Humanity has its flaws, greed, violence, hatred, but all and all I’d say we’re still a good bunch.” "Pardon?" "Oh, never mind." I looked around, trying to change the subject when I saw the quarter (or half) moon in the sky from my window. Aha! She saw the moon a few days ago and it was full. Since she never seen a moon in a different phase other than full, this might be a fun opportunity. "Hmm... why don't you take a look at the night sky? Tell me what you see." I said. When Luna took a look in the night sky, her eyes widen and her mouth opened in horror. "D-D-Dixon! Y-y-your moon!" She exclaimed. "It has been cut in half!" "The moon isn't cut in half Luna; it's still a full circle. It's just that we can't see half of it due to its phases." "Phases?" Luna asked with a cocked eyebrow, “Explain.” "I don't think you've seen the moon in any other shape other than full right?” I asked laughing to myself a bit; it was somewhat funny to think that a being who controls the moon didn’t know third grade astronomy. “Well our moon works very differently. There a five main phases in this cycle, new moon, crescent moon, quarter moon, gibbous moon and finally full moon. They are caused by the position between this planet, Earth, and the Sun. Part of the light from the Sun is blocked by Earth and the shadow it cast is on the Moon. To visualize this better, why don't we do an experiment?" I got up from my bed and took a football (the one where you actually use your foot to kick, not the one known as 'hand-egg') and a torch and turned off the lights. "Now stand here." I directed Luna to stand in the middle of the room. When she did so, I handed her the ball which she held in her magic. "Now pretend that you're this planet, and that ball in front of you is the Moon. You must keep the ball in front of your eyes at all times, you got that?" She nodded as I got to the other side of the room. "Now I'm going to be the Sun and I'll shine this light at you." I said as I turn on the torch, shining a flash on light in her face to which she squinted in reaction. "Now go and turn slowly on the spot while keeping the ball in front of you. What do you see?" "I see a crescent of light creeping around the part of the ball." She said as she continued turning to one side. "And?" "Half of it is being lit up!" Luna exclaimed, her eyes gleaming with joy. "Well actually, it's a quarter of the moon if you count the other unlit side of the ball. This is exactly what happens as the Moon orbits the Earth (or any other body orbits any other body): The Moon is always half-lit and half-shaded, but because of the movement of the Moon around the Earth, how much of the lit area we see changes due to our perspective." "Interesting..." Luna replied with a plotting grin. *YAWN* A loud yawn escaped my mouth. Jeez, how long did I spend explaining all that stuff to her? My eyes were starting to get tired and my energy level is dropping to zero as I speak. "Alright, it's really late now. I'm gonna get some sleep." I said wearily as I climbed back in bed, Luna followed suit in her cat guise at the end of my bed. "Alright then, good night Luna." I said throwing the covers over my head. "Good night to you too Dixon." I closed my eyes and awaited Dreamland to arrive. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "What the heck is this place?" I found myself in a LSD induced color hell with some music playing in the background that sounded like it came from SpongeBob Squarepants. Now imagine a kaleidoscope, but instead of the things that make the beautiful effect, there are fireworks explosions. And now imagine being inside it. Yeah, that's what I'm seeing back then. Even for my brain, which has seen a couple of totally weird shit back in the days, it's still a total mind-fuck seeing it. This could only mean one thing. "I must be dreaming!" Then a light bulb lit up, literally appearing from nowhere on the side of my head. I immediately made a smile that looks like this. "Lucid Dreaming!" I said as a yellow submarine flew across the horizon with a cow in a tutu dancing on it. Awesome this is it, I'm finally having a lucid dream after all these years! I've been waiting for one since... forever! Now I can see if this thing actually works! "Now I'll put lucid dreaming to the test." Everybody claims that during a lucid dream, you'll have complete control over your dreams, anything you want to can appear right out of the thin air. Anything you don't want can disappear into nothing. Now I'm going to test that theory. "Isaac!" Immediately, the Cunt appeared in front of me. "Yes?" He snorted. "DIE! DAMN YOU!" As soon as I'd said that, his head started to inflate as if it was a balloon. It was about the size of a wok before it popped and spilled blood everywhere, except for me of course. I have total control on my dream. This started to play as I made the exact same face a few seconds ago. Ohhhhh....I'm beginning to like this dream already! "Things to do in a lucid dream..."Kill Your Most Hated Enemy… Check!" I said as I strike off a line in my 'List of What to Do in A Lucid Dream" that I conjured out of nothing. Next on the list...ooh! "Go into a cave, find Gollum… steal The One Ring" Alright then! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "My precious..." "Man, screw you." I said as I blasted his head off with nothing but just pointing at him and saying these words. I never liked that son-of-a-bitch. "And add one ring to my treasure chest." I said as I dropped the ring into my magic pouch which I summoned out of nothing. Lucid dreaming rules! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Aha! Found you at last!" I yelled as I found Where's Waldo (Or Wally) is hiding. "Well done! You're the first to find me after all these years!" "Now go hide and let me find you again." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "You can't catch me po-pos!" I yelled as I sped down the streets of New York in my Ferrari LaFerrari. (That's a stupid name) I was simply too fast for those slowpokes! "Whoa! Watch the road you dumbass!" I yelled as I narrowly avoided a head-on collision with a taxi who was heading in my direction. "Jeez, where did you learn to drive?" Then from nowhere, a fighter jet suddenly flew over my vehicle before crashing into a building. "Where did you learn to fly?" I looked over my shoulders to see the wreckage of the plane before turning back. Big mistake… "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" I crashed head on into a traffic pole and found myself crashing through the windshield and ascending up into the air. "I can fly…? Sweet!" I exclaimed as I shot up into the sky like a rocket. "It’s a bird! It’s a plane!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sometime later... This is getting boring, I'd tried and done almost every possible thing I could in a lucid dream, fly a plane, break every law on Earth, become Spiderman and release the Kraken. Now if there was something else I could do... I thought for a while but nope, my mind came up with a blank. Unless... "No, that's stupid. It's not possible...still." I...I can't decide, is it possible to travel into another dimension or another world in my dream? He said nothing is impossible in a lucid dream, no matter how crazy it is. True, I released the Kraken, broke every law on Earth and swing around a city with web and stuff. "Ah screw it, I'm gonna try it anyway." I pointed my finger in front of me and brought it upwards, creating a blue rift in the middle of the air. Meh, it was bland, no lightning, no gale force winds, no Kurt Russell but it will do… I stepped in front of the rift, touching it with my finger. The feeling was like a HUGE electrical shock running through your finger as if it was a piece of wire! I immediately brought back my finger at that point. Taking a deep breath, I took a running start and jumped... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Worst mistake I'd even made in my life (as of now). I felt a huge energy surge flowing through my body, well fuck this. I ain't going to be electrical roast! *poof* There! That should do the trick! With my mind, I summoned an electrical suit that allowed me to survive this ordeal, actually, I should survive this cause I can't die in my dreams right? Right? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ When I exited (being thrown out is a more appropriate term) from the rift, I landed in a white soft blanket of snow. Brushing the snow off myself, I looked around my surroundings to see nothing but snow, snow and more snow. Really? I thought going to another world or dimension is more exciting that this! Looking to my left, I saw a rundown log cabin a few kilometers away. Anything is better than being out in the snow I suppose. I waddled through the snow as I don't have snowshoes or anything else suitable for the weather. It took me quite a while, but I finally reached the porch of the house and I was about to open the door and enter when I heard some talking. "Dafuq?" I placed my ears to the wooden door and listened hard to any sound made. I could hear a very low and powerful voice filled with malice, speaking to someone apparently. "It has taken me forever princess... but now, you are MINE! To be my slave for eternity, to bend to my every beckon call...MUAHAHAHAHA!" Then I heard a very familiar female voice speaking. "You fiend! I demand that you release me! Least my savior comes and tears you asunder!" That sounds like...Luna??! My curiosity is getting stronger and stronger at this point; I quietly grabbed the doorknob and pushed it slightly ajar allowing me to see what was inside. The inside of the house was pitch black and impossible to see except for a beam of light shining at Luna, all tied and bound. Then a pair of green eyes with red pupils came into my view, a purple aura was seeping out from one corner of both eyes. Luckily, it wasn't looking at me but at Luna. Green eyes, red pupils and male voice? Yup, that perfectly fits the description of King Sombra. "Oh he'll never come princess! He'll never know of our hiding spot! In the meantime, why don't you help me...relieve some stress..." Uh-oh, I've read enough crappy fan-fics to know where it is going. "N-n-no!" "STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM! YOU'VE VIOLATED MY MO- I MEAN, LUNA! NOW YOU SHALL PAY THE CONSEQUENCE!" I announced as I kicked the door open. And just in time! That fucker got his dirty hooves all over her! Just seeing this made my blood boil to a temperature that made the Sun's temperature looks cool compared to mine. "Dixon!” "Dixon!" The both of them cried out my name, one in surprise anger and the other in surprise joy. It doesn't take a genius to figure out which was which. "GRAA!!" Sombra leapt out instantly in an attempt to knock me over but I dodge him with ease and delivered an uppercut to his jaw as a counter. He tried to attack me once more but missed by a hair to which I gave him a blow to his stomach. "Take this!" *POW!* "And this!" *SMACK!* "And maybe this!" *BIFF!* "And sometimes...that!" *ZOK!* "And THIS because I feel like it!" *BONK!* I managed to knock Sombra down to the floor. Using this chance, I grabbed hold of one of his limbs and pulled. *SNAP!* "AAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!" He screamed. "RETURN MY LEG BONE AT ONCE!" *SMACK!* "HEY!" *SMACK!* "HEY! DON'T HIT ME WITH IT!" “Not until you stop hitting yourself…” I replied with a dark grin. *WHACKWHACKWHACKWHACKWHACKWHACK* *FINISH HIM!* Now I have a selection of finishing moves I can choose from...hmm... should I go with Fus Ro Dah or Pootis Pow? Or... I got it! I know exactly what finishing move I am going to use on him! I got into the bow stance position. Cupping my hands together, I brought them to my right side and focused all my ki into them. OH yeah... It's time to teach this so of a bitch a lesson he'll never forget. "Ka… me...." I focused my eyes onto the now battered and dazed King Sombra, still not having an idea on what was going on. "Ha… me......" I felt a huge buildup of energy in both my hands. Looking at them, I could see a blue sphere has formed in the cup, a sphere of pure energy. four hundred and twenty seven episodes later... "HA!" I thrust my hands forward and shoot out a streaming, powerful blue beam of energy, sending King Sombra through the roof and into the air. Staring at the hole in the roof which I'd just created, I pointed to the sky and warned. "The next time you try to get near her, I'LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING HORN AND SHOVE IT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOUR TONSILS WILL BE PLAYING MAGIC PUPPETS!" Turning towards Luna, now relieved that King Sombra has been blasted to who knows where; I untied her bounds and was immediately engulfed in bear hug from her. "Oh Dixon..." Luna moaned in a very sultry tone, "You managed to save me from that awful beast of a pony with my honor intact... how could I EVER repay you?" Well… shit ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Inside Dixon's mind, 2 Dixons, one with the nametag 'Conscience' and another with the nametag "Desire', were seen staring at a switch on the side of a wall. The switch was in the mid-position and was labeled "The Obvious Choice", it was waiting to be either turned on completely or turned off completely. "I say we turn it on!" Desire shouted. "I say we turn it off! It's wrong!" Conscience shouted. "Hey! He has been dreaming about this for years! Now he got his chance and you're not letting him have it? Why?" "WHY? It's wrong! That's why!" "And what is wrong about it?" "In every way possible!" The bickering would have gone on forever and not a single decision would have been made if not for another Dixon, now with the nametag 'Manager' walked in. "What are the both of you doing?!" He yelled." I didn't pay you to stand around, yelling at each other! What do you think I'm paying you for?" "You don't pay us." Conscience replied. "We don't even exist. We're just a clever textual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought." Desire continued. "Any more cracks like that and the both of you are outta here!" "NO PLEASE DON'T! I HAVE A WIFE AND THREE KIDS!" The both of them shouted. "Then make a choice! The Boss is expecting to receive this in a few minutes! Get back to work!" "On!" Desire shouted. "Off!" Conscience screamed back. The two continued to bicker between themselves for what seemed like hours, causing the ‘Manager’ to leave purely out of frustration. The two failed to notice their boss leaving because of their own convictions on the matter, they continued to debate amongst themselves, with ‘Conscience’ starting to gain the upper hand. That was until ‘Desire’ came up with the most brilliant scheme he had ever thought of. "I SAY WE TURN IT OFF OR ELSE!" Desire screamed. "WE TURN THIS SHIT ON AND THAT'S THAT!" Conscience screamed as he flipped the switch to the 'on' position. *click* Conscience was feeling very smug about himself until he realized that he done. "W-w-w-WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" He screamed at Desire. "Hey! Don't blame me! You're the one who said to turn it on!" Desire replied, trying very hard not to laugh. "S-shit!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ *bzzt* "Hmm? Oh, OH!" I regained my senses after losing them for some reason. My mind was made up. "Well... Now that you mentioned it…" *snap* Immediately, the surrounding changed into a room dimly lit by hundreds of candles. Luna looked around the room before turning her attention to me. I could tell by the half lidded eyes, lip-biting smile and additional swing in her hips with every step she took towards me that this was going to be something that I would thoroughly enjoy. This music began to play at this point. “Luna… I don’t know what to-“ Before I could finish Luna’s hoof was softly placed on my lips, forcing me to remain silent as her muzzle traveled from my jawline right up to my ear. "You don't need to say anything Dixon..." Luna whispered as her magic undid my belt "I already know the reward you deserve..." I made the same face I did at the start of my lucid dream...YESH! FUCK YOU SOCIETY! FUCK YOU CONSCIENCE! FUCK YOU ALL! HAHAHA! I closed my eyes and prepare for the awesomeness when I heard someone speaking. "Dixon? It's time to wake up why are you...BY MY SISTER'S BEARD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ME?!" "NOOOOOOOO!” I screamed as the dream began to fade away. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I found myself wide awake on my bed, and Luna was looking at me, her face so flushed that it was purple. Whether it be from embarrassment from what she had seen or pure hatred I didn’t know, but no matter how angry she could be... I WAS EVEN MORE FUCKING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW! "DAMN YOU I WAS HAVING A WONDERFUL LUCID DREAM! THEY'RE HARD TO GET, YOU KNOW?" I yelled. "AND I FINALLY GOT ONE! HOW DARE YOU! I'VE BEEN WAITING MY ENTIRE LIFE TO GET A LUCID DREAM!" “I DEMAND AN EXPLAINATION FOR SUCH A… A… THING!” Luna exclaimed grinding her teeth, “WHY WOULD YOU EVER-“ "I HATE YOU!" “As if you think that I don’t-“ "YOU ARE WORST THAN FEGELEIN!" “Who are you-“ "FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN!" This is how you start off the morning, with a very awkward...thing. Alright, who let Desire win? Goddamn what's wrong with me... And did I really compared her to the Master of Antics? Jeez, what the fuck. "DIXON! I DEMAND AN EXPLAINATION THIS INSTANCE!" Luna exclaimed. "Alright, alright already! If you shout any louder, you'll wake up the entire household!" Great, this is how you start off the day, by pissing off the Night Princess. But that wasn't the worst thing that could happen to me today...