Things Best Left Unread

by Sirheavens

The Road to Grimdark

Rainbow Dash was irritated. She, along with Twilight and Applejack, was sitting around the TV in the hollowed out tree that was Twilight’s library. It was almost time for them to watch the newest episode of MLP: FIM. They were all set up and ready to go. There was only one problem.
“Where in Celestia’s name is Pinkie Pie?” Rainbow asked angrily. “She should have been here by now. And the show’s almost starting.” Rainbow flew over to the window for the hundredth time, looking for Pinkie Pie.
“Relax, sugarcube,” Applejack consoled. “Ah’m sure Pinkie will be here soon.”
“I don’t know,” Twilight said worryingly, glancing towards the window. “Pinkie’s usually the first one here. She’s never this late.”
“Do ya think she might’ve forgotten?” Applejack asked.
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “She wouldn’t have. She made a Pinkie Pie swear.”
Suddenly, all three heads turned towards the door as Pinkie Pie busted in. “Sorry I’m late, guys. I was really wrapped up in something when I looked at the clock and saw what time it was. So I went running towards the library, and I almost ran into Granny Smith on the way. Luckily, I was able to dodge her and then…” Pinkie’s ramblings went on for about a minute, until finally Rainbow Dash interrupted her.
“Uhh, Pinkie Pie? Don’t we have a show to watch?”
Pinkie’s eyes lit up. “Oh, yeah, that reminds me!” She started jumping up and down. “I need to show you guys something! You’re not going to believe what I found!”
“Can it wait until after we watch the show?” Rainbow questioned.
“But I want to show you guys now,” Pinkie complained, no longer bouncing. “Please, Rainbow Dash. Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleeeeeeeeease?” Pinkie Pie looked Rainbow straight in the face at the last “pleeeeeeeeease”.
“Fine!” Twilight yelled, tired of hearing Pinkie’s begging. “I’ll set it to record the episode, so we can watch it later. Now, what is it that you want to show us so badly?”
Pinkie dashed over to the computer and pulled up Ponynet Explorer. “So I was browsing on the Ponynet when I found this website.” She typed in the site address and pulled up www.fimfiction.net.
Twilight went over to the computer, followed quickly by Rainbow Dash and Applejack. “Well, what is it?” she asked.
“It’s a web site where ponies post fan fiction about our show,” Pinkie Pie explained. “There are tons of stories from many genres. My favorites are the crossover fics.”
“Hmm,” Applejack said. “So are these stories all made up by ponies who watch our show?”
“Yep!” Pinkie Pie replied. “There are some stories I wanted to show you guys.” Pinkie Pie scrolled to the top of the page, where there were some boxes where you type a username and a password into. In the username box, she put in “TheOmniCupcake”.
“‘TheOmniCupcake’?” Rainbow asked. “Why did you name yourself ‘TheOmniCupcake’?”
“Because,” Pinkie Pie explained, “this is the username that I use for almost everything.” Pinkie Pie tabbed into the password box. Her hooves were a blaze as she put in a password at least 30 characters long.
“How in Equestria do you remember somethin’ so long?” Applejack asked.
“Oh, I just remembered it,” Pinkie Pie said simply. The page refreshed itself, and the bar under the logo had a lot more stuff on it. Pinkie Pie moved the mouse over to the ‘Tracking’ button, but stopped suddenly. She then moused over a box with an envelope and a number 1 beside it and clicked on it. “Oh, I have a new message,” Pinkie said cheerfully.
The message was from a user called ‘???’. It had no title, and the only text that could be seen was ‘Pinkamena Diane Pie’ over and over, eventually getting cut off with a ‘…’. “That’s weird,” Pinkie Pie remarked. “I’ve never told anypony my personal username, or ever told anypony on the Ponynet what my real name was. How could they know who I am?” Pinkie clicked on the message to bring it into full view. The entire first line was made up of ‘Pinkamena Diane Pie’ over and over. The next few lines contained the message.
“Hello Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle.”
“Woah,” Rainbow Dash said, “how did it know we were here? This is just a message, right?” Pinkie Pie nodded, a worried look on her face. In lieu of answers, they continued reading.
“I guess you’re wondering how I knew you were reading this.” Rainbow Dash’s eyes grew wide at this. “Oh, don’t look so surprised, Rainbow Dash. I have my ways. Now, on to business. Pinkie Pie was planning on getting you to read some happy, feel-good fanfics. I have other plans for you. I want you four to read these fanfics. Before I tell you them, you need to promise me that you WILL read these fanfics. Better yet, make a Pinkie Pie swear. Take your time, I can wait.”
Twilight looked up from the screen. “Well, girls, what should we do? Should we make the Pinkie Pie swear?”
“No way in hay am Ah gonna make a Pinkie swear to a message on a computer screen,” Applejack said.
“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash. “And besides, it’s just a message. Why don’t we scroll down until we find the fanfics?”
Pinkie Pie started to scroll down, but was quickly met by the bottom of the page. “There’s no more to it. It just ends there.”
The four ponies were silent for a few moments, until Twilight spoke up. “Who is this guy anyway? Pinkie, go to his profile page.”
“Okie Dokie Loki!” Pinkie replied, clicking on the messenger’s name. Pinkie’s smile quickly faded, replaced by a quizzical look. “It’s not here,” she said. “It’s just an error message. ‘Error – user does not exist’,” she said in her best robot voice.
Confusion was apparent on Twilight’s face. “I don’t think these sites allow you to delete your profile, do they?” A shake of Pinkie’s head confirmed her suspicions. “Ok, I’m intrigued. Whoever would go through such measures to maintain this air of… mystery, must really want us to read these stories. Plus, I would like to know how this mystery person knows what we are going to do. I say we do the Pinkie swear. Pinkie?”
Pinkie thought for a moment, and then a smile appeared on her face. “Why not? I’ll do it. It could be fun!”
“AJ?” Twilight asked.
“Ah don’t know,” Applejack said. “Ah still don’t trust this mystery person. But if y’all are ok with it, then Ah’m ok with it.”
"Rainbow?" Twilight asked.
"Oh, what the hay," Rainbow said. "I'm in. Who knows, it could be like an adventure."
"Alright then," Twilight said. "We swear to read whatever fanfics this mystery pony sends us."
"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," they all chanted in unison while crossing their hearts, waving their forelegs like wings, and finally putting their hooves to their eyes.
"Ok, we did the Pinkie swear," Twilight said. "Now what?"
"Now we check for a reply," said Pinkie Pie. She clicked the refresh button at the top of the screen. The page reloaded, and sure enough, there was another message.
"That's the spirit, girls. And Twilight, to answer your question, no, I will not reveal my methods. Now I guess I should tell you what you signed up for. You are about to start reading some of the most infamous grimdark fanfics. Don't let these stories ruin your friendship. It's all you have. No bugging out, you Pinkie Swore."
Below the brief motivational speech was a series of links. Below these there was one final line of text.
"Welcome to the dark side of the fandom."