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// In Stone No One Can Hear You Scream. 
// Story: Double Feature: Too Much To Drink / I'm Dead, I Think? 
// by Super Trampoline 
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	AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH...?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Anypony? ...Anyone?...



...Anything?



I... ?

What happened?

I...



...




Am I dead?




...nooooooo. If (IF!) I was dead (or would that be were? I can't even grammar.), I wouldn't be having this conversation with myself....   Would I?


I'm not dead am I?

Oh my Goddess I'm dead aren't I?

Oh no. OH NO. OH NO NO NO NONONONONONONONONO!!!! NO!!! I can't be dead! I CAN'T BE! I NEED to be alive. The princess is counting on me. My friends are counting on me. I...I ... NO!

NO TWILIGHT! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! CALM DOWN! YOU are a reasonable, rational, logical young mare. You are Princess Celestia's student. you are above freaking out. I'm sure there is a PERFECTLY reasonable, rational, logical explanation for why you are a disembodied voice in the middle of the forest.
Yes, perfectly calm. Caalllmmm. Good Twilight.

Wait, how do I know I'm in a forest?
What happened anyway? I feel like I was going somewhere. Or... something. What was I doing? Think Twilight, think!





Twilight Sparkle walked through the Everfree Forest on her way to to Zecora's hut to pick up some herbs for her rash. She probably shouldn't be have been by herself, but it was the middle of the day on a familiar path, so she wasn't too worried.

Ok, so I was walking through the forest. I remember that... But ugh, then what happened? I just, I remember sounds. And a weasel [1]. Why the heck do I remember a weasel?

She was humming to herself. It was a comfortably warm spring day, and the late-afternoon sun filtered down through the trees in ephemeral patterns that danced about like nature's marionettes. She sighed contentedly, feeling unusually at ease. She would never admit it to herself, but the forest, for all the chaos it was, still had its own odd beauty. Up ahead off to the side of the dirt path, the leaves were rustling particularly hardily. Curious, she trotted closer to investigate. 

Um alright, I think i remember a bush, and... Oh! A weasel popped out of it. But... that's it? I, a weasel, I... what? That makes no sense. But was that all? There was a weasel, and ... Ugh! Why are my thoughts so hazy. What happened?

"Oh hi weasel!" she said enthusiastically. "How are you doing?" The weasel ignored her and scurried away across the path. "Oh look at me. I'm so silly. Talking to weasels? I must be turning into Fluttershy or something." Suddenly, something else started to shake up the leaves.

So something else was in that bush? What was it? I remember... It's so fuzzy. Yeah, fuzzy! It was a... chicken? But what would a chicken be doing in the Everfree Forest? That doesn't make any sense. Maybe it only looked like a chicken. What looks like a chicken? Scootaloo? No. Wait. Wait. Oh no. Ohhhhh no. Oh Godess. Oh Luna's Beard! OH CRAP! SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT! BY CELESTIA'S ETHEREAL PUBIC HAIR OH NO!

What ever was in the bushes sounded like it was about to pop out. And when it did, Twilight found herself face to face with a cockatrice. "Well, fuck."