//------------------------------//
// Chapter Three 
// Story: To Be A Princess 
// by WellKPony 
//------------------------------//

Chapter Three

The new day broke. A dramatic flash of scarlet burst forth across the sky to mark its arrival. The first ray of sunlight to escape over the horizon glinted stunningly off one of the many golden domes of the Equestrian capital. The fluttering of a myriad of banners in shades of cerise and lilac brought a burst of colour to the city's normally subdued streets. A cool breeze blew over the vast metropolis, bringing with it a sense of freshness and new beginnings.

Twilight assessed the scene from her vantage point upon a balcony atop one of Canterlot Castle's tall towers. Everywhere she looked within the city walls, there was evidence of the celebratory atmosphere that had gripped taken hold. Every bridge; every tower and every spire had been dressed to mark the occasion. Bunting crisscrossed every street. Every garden and window box was decked out with pink and violet flowers. Everywhere she looked, Twilight's cutie mark was emblazoned on a banner or a flag.

Even outside the city walls, the sheer scale of the occasion was plain to see. An entire town of marquees and tents had been erected to accommodate the many hundreds of visitors who could not be housed at one of the city's plentiful inns. Indeed the only view that afforded any relief from this barrage of overwhelming festivity was to the far Southwest, where Twilight could just make out the bright red slates of Ponyville Town Hall’s beautiful belled roof.

Home.

It was a view Twilight had never taken notice of in all the years she had spent in Canterlot, yet now it was the only view worth seeing. She squinted harder, trying to make out a little more detail, but she couldn’t distinguish one building from another in the sea of yellowish, hay-thatched roofs. Instead she resorted to watching the spinning blades of the windmill as they traveled in lazy circles around their mount.

Perhaps they had been stirred into motion by the same breeze that had bustled past her as she looked out from her lofty position. It was a comforting thought, though quite unlikely, she deliberated. Even the wind couldn’t travel that far that fast. In any case it wasn’t blowing towards Ponyville and if it were, it would probably lose its way before it had covered half the distance thence.

As Twilight stood lost in thought, she heard three resounding and very deliberate knocks echoing from within her bedchambers. The alicorn sighed, turning her tail on the scene, and made her way slowly through her rooms. Upon reaching the imposing oak doors, she stopped and took a deep breath. Then, forcing her features into what she hoped was a convincing smile, she opened one of them and poked her head out.

Standing before Twilight with her pristine white coat glistening and her violet eyes warm and radiant was Princess Celestia. Startled, the lilac alicorn immediately stepped into the corridor, bowing deeply before her one-time tutor. Celestia waved away this reverent greeting, causing Twilight to blush as she stood back up.

“Good morning, Twilight. I trust you slept well?” Celestia asked politely.

Twilight looked surreptitiously over her shoulder, casting her eyes across the untouched sheets of her bed and hastily closed the door before Celestia could do the same.

“Yes, Princess, very well indeed,” Twilight answered brightly.

“Excellent, because we have a few things to do this morning,” Celestia said, smiling at Twilight before starting her slow procession down the spiralling staircase.

Twilight stood apprehensively for a few moments, staring blankly at the spot where the princess had been. Things to do? Nopony had mentioned anything about this to her before. She trotted to catch up with Celestia and soon fell into step beside her.

“What things?” she asked nervously.

“Well I had hoped that you might accompany me to breakfast, then that you might sit alongside me during Court this morning. I know it doesn’t sound like much fun, but Princess Luna tells me that perhaps you are feeling a little uncomfortable with the idea of performing official duties. I thought this might help,” Celestia explained, as though nothing could be more normal.

Twilight froze, standing on the final step of the staircase. Luna had told her that? Twilight hadn’t even seen Luna since arriving in Canterlot. In fact, she hadn't seen Luna since her return from the Crystal Empire. When was she supposed to have spoken to her about this? The last time they had spoken was at her brother’s wedding reception. It wasn't possible that she knew.

“Pardon me for asking, but how would Luna know… I mean, why would she think that I was worried about that?” Twilight asked, stumbling over her words.

“Are you telling me that she is mistaken?” the princess said,  turning to face Twilight.

“Yes! Well, I mean, no. Well I guess, maybe? I just wondered where she might have gotten that idea,” Twilight responded.

“You would have to ask her that. Luna has her ways,” Celestia said cryptically.

Twilight was left frustrated by the lack of a reasonable explanation, but years of experience in these matters told her that there was no point in pressing the princess further. She wouldn't get an answer anyway.

It was just so annoying. She didn’t recall telling anypony about this particular worry, but she must have said something at some point. Then somepony must have said something to Luna. Or perhaps Luna hadn't known at all. Perhaps Celestia had been bluffing.

The two alicorn's began walking again, Twilight still musing over the princess' puzzle.

“Am I to take it that you do not wish to attend the Court, then?” Celestia asked, sounding a little disappointed.

Twilight was shaken from her thoughts. She had no idea what to say. On one hoof, accepting the invitation would be as good as admitting that Luna had been correct in her assertions and what that implied was that Twilight wasn’t ready to deal with this responsibility. She dreaded to think what Celestia would think of that. On the other hoof, the princess hadn’t appeared to be upset at her and this might be useful. In fact, if anything, it seemed very much like Princess Celestia wanted Twilight to go to Court with her. And despite the princess’ suggestion to the contrary, it did sound rather exciting.

Twilight weighed up her options and eventually, she nodded her head.

“I’ll go,” she said resolutely.

Celestia smiled warmly at her.

“Good. I must admit, I had been looking forward to your company. Now, to breakfast!” she proclaimed, walking a few lengths further down the corridor and opening a vast set of doors.

Twilight walked past her and into the room. Therein sat a long table laden with a variety of breads, fruit and grain and surrounded on all ends by a number of very plush chairs. Twilight looked with rapture at the food on offer, forgetting for a moment about everything the princess has said.

She sat down next to Celestia, who took her place at the head of the table, and with her magic, she picked up an apple and a few grapes. She placed these on a small plate in front of her along with a slice of sweet brown bread and a smattering of oats. This truly was a breakfast fit for a princess.

She gave Celestia a last glance and began to eat. Despite her nerves, she looked forward to the day ahead.


* * * * *


Several hours later and the opulent breakfast seemed like a distant memory. Seldom had Twilight ever been so supremely surfeited of any activity as she was of Celestia’s Court. Every minute of it had felt like an hour as pony after pony had presented themselves before the princess, spoke at length about some issue or other and besought her intervention. This endless parade of captious petitioners was far from what Twilight had expected, though quite what she had expected, she couldn’t recall.

It wasn't that the Court had been boring. In fact if anything the opposite was true, although exciting wouldn't describe it either. Nor was it particularly interesting even if it had held her attention. When she thought about it, were she to have been asked for one adjective to describe the experience, she would have chosen 'eye-opening'.

Twilight had never considered that so many ponies could have so many problems, given how happy the vast majority of the population seemed most of the time. It was even more amazing, taking into account how joyful the city had looked that morning as it prepared for a grand celebration.

She felt incredibly mixed up by the whole debacle. At first she had been taken aback by the issues but as the morning had worn on, the surprise had dissipated to be replaced by a discomfiting melancholy.

Celestia, on the other hoof, had appeared to be far less affected by it. Perhaps she had grown accustomed to hearing these tales of woe. That wasn't to say she hadn't been thoroughly sympathetic. Twilight had been in awe of how well the princess handled each scenario.  Every word she spoke appeared to have been perfectly chosen and delivered. Almost every last pony had left looking far happier than when they had arrived.

Every pony except Twilight that was.

Despite the princess’ best intentions, she had left the Court feeling much, much worse. Almost every story had left her feeling incredibly upset. There had been news of bereavements; losses of livelihoods; numerous disputes between friends and a brace of family feuds. There was no way that she could have done what Celestia did.

Even the few ponies who had come to praise Celestia for something she had done for them earlier or to wish Twilight well for her coronation had done nothing to improve her mood. How had the princess listened to all of that and not been reduced to tears? How had she been able to stay so composed for so long? And how had she known what to say?

These were the types of question that were best left to sages, Twilight concluded. She couldn't dwell upon them or she would end up depressing herself even more. She was just glad to be out of that room and free to engage in other, more cheery pursuits. She was mentally and emotionally exhausted. She desperately needed some release. Just as she had this thought, her stomach bellowed its approval, so she went in search of the castle's kitchens.

Twilight hoped she wasn’t overstepping the mark or exploiting her hostesses' generosity. Lunch wouldn’t be for another couple of hours and she simply couldn’t wait that long. She needed some sustenance, and soon. When she eventually found the room she was looking for, she was surprised to find that somepony else was already there.

Applejack hummed quietly to herself as she dodged her way around the many chefs and porters preparing the afternoon meal. Twilight watched the earth pony as she returned to her small section of the worktop carrying a pastry tin, some butter and an egg. She was finishing off an apple pie. What else? The process was all too familiar to Twilight.

Applejack greased the tin and laid her pastry in it, filling it with apples, sugar and spices then covered the filling with yet more pastry. The edges were crimped by hoof and a layer of egg wash was applied before some air holes were poked into the top. Once she was finished, the earth pony looked proudly at her creation and put it in one of the ovens to bake.

All this time, she was oblivious to Twilight’s presence, but as she made her way over to the counter to clean up, she noticed her friend staring at her through the doorway. The orange pony looked as though she had been caught in the act of doing something she ought not to have been doing.

“Well howdy, Twilight! I didn’t see you there. What in the hay are you doing down here?” she asked guiltily.

“I should ask you the same question. I was hungry. Why are you baking a pie? I'm sure one of these nice stallions could make you one if you asked,” Twilight responded.

Applejack glanced over at the cooks who, having heard Twilight's remark, drew daggers at the earth pony. She looked sheepishly at them, then at the oven wherein her pie sat baking and finally back to Twilight.

“It was supposed to be a surprise, but I guess the cat’s out of the bag now. It was meant for you. I thought y’all might appreciate it. All this fancy food is fine and dandy but it ain’t exactly filling if you’ll pardon my saying so. And nothing beats a little taste of home,” the earth pony answered, receiving another haughty glance from a chef.

Twilight was touched by the gesture. It was very nice of Applejack to think of something like that. She did appreciate it. Applejack’s pies were always satisfying. Even the thought of it made her stomach groan in anticipation. She blushed.

“Sorry, I’m still hungry. How long until it’s ready?” Twilight asked, suddenly coveting the taste of the sweet pastry and tart apples.

That was the very comfort she had sought in coming here.

“It’ll be about a half hour. I was gonna go looking for you after clearing up but seeing you’re here already, that won’t be necessary,” Applejack answered with a grin.

“Oh goodie! Well I can’t wait. Thank you so much,” Twilight smiled.

“No problem. So… I reckon we better talk about something while we wait. What have you been up to today?” Applejack asked, brushing some pastry crumbs and flour onto a dustpan.

Twilight’s smile faded as she was forced to recount the happenings of the Court. She told Applejack about the parade of distressed ponies, even daring to relate one of the less upsetting tales to her. Applejack's face fell at the description.

“Well that doesn’t sound too great,” the earth pony sympathised.

“It wasn’t. I honestly don't know how Celestia does that every day. I couldn't. Some of the stories were just awful. And don't even get me started on the arguments. I couldn't even begin to help with them like she did. She was so reasonable and fair,” Twilight said, admitting to the biggest worry she had come away with.

Applejack looked put a consoling hoof on Twilight's shoulder and adopted a pensive look.

“Sure you coulda. It just takes practice is all. You've gotta remember, she's been doing this for hundreds of years. And as for being fair, I suppose you have to take everypony’s problems into consideration. You gotta take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

“I mean, I knew two ponies - brothers, potato farmers from Trottingham. Well, their papa died and left them his farm thinking that they would just keep working it like they always did. He couldn’t of expected what happened.

“Neither brother wanted to share. So they decided that they should split it up between them. The problem was that they couldn’t agree on how to divide it up. The argument got so heated that eventually they couldn’t agree on anything. They argued about the sizes of fields and how fertile they were and so on. In the end they lost so much time to the argument that they plain forgot about the harvest. So they decided they would ask the princess what to do. They really had no other choice,” Applejack said.

Twilight looked at the earth pony as she told the story. That sounded like the type of thing. She pondered this scenario, her mind whirring as she tried to figure out a solution that would be acceptable to both parties. At first, she supposed they could just draw a line straight down the middle, but what if they both wanted the same half? She could always have picked for them but then that might just end up fueling their resentment for one another and that would be the worst outcome of all.

“Well?” Twilight prompted, eventually giving in.

“Well, what?” Applejack said distractedly as she opened the oven to check on her pie.

“What did the princess say?” Twilight asked, desperate for the solution.

“Oh. Well if I remember rightly, she said that the older brother should divide up the land into two sections and the younger brother should get to choose which he wanted,” Applejack recalled, closing the oven door again.

Twilight felt the pieces of the puzzle falling into place. It was almost like being told the answer to a riddle. Such an elegant solution it was too: the same thing she had seen all day.

“I would never have thought of that,” she said, scratching her head.

“Sure you woulda. You're a clever mare, you'd have figured it out eventually,” Applejack said.

“I don't know about that. And what if there's nothing to figure out? What if I were to have to choose one pony over the other?” Twilight asked.

“Well, in that case, you’ve just gotta do what your conscience tells you,” the other pony said with a certainty that unnerved Twilight.

Applejack busied herself whipping some cream, leaving Twilight to deal with her thoughts. She had made it sound so simple, but it couldn’t possibly be that easy. Twilight didn’t trust her conscience. It would be alright if she was as sensible as Applejack, but she wasn’t. If she made a wrong decision, somepony would feel hard done by and she didn’t want that. She wanted everypony to be happy just as she had previously imagined them to be.

It occurred to her now how sheltered her life had been. She had never experienced problems like these. The biggest troubles she had experienced were being late on an assignment and having to choose which of her friends was to receive a spare ticket to a dance, both of which had turned out to be non-issues in the end.

Applejack took her pie out of the oven and set about cutting a slice for Twilight which she topped with a spoonful of soft whipped cream which instantly began melting as soon as it touched the pastry. Twilight attempted to smile gratefully at the orange pony, though even as she ate, she felt dissatisfied. There was an all too familiar pit in her stomach which food, no matter how moreish, could not fill.

It was the same pit she had felt whilst Rainbow had been teaching her to fly and whilst Rarity had been fixing her dress. Only this time it felt deeper. The severity of this issue and the proximity of her coronation made her feel far worse than she had even as little as three weeks ago. She had been worried about performing these duties before but the morning's Court had brought home to her just how thoroughly unprepared she was

She poked at the small amount of apple pie left on her plate.

“Is everything okay, sugarcube?” Applejack asked, her voice shaking Twilight from her wakeful slumber.

“Of course. It tastes great, as always. It's just, I'm not that hungry,” the alicorn replied.

“That ain't what I meant. I meant with you. Are you okay?” the other pony insisted.

Twilight had known what Applejack meant. She had simply been attempting to skirt around the issue. She didn't want to talk about it any more.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Just nervous, I suppose,” she said, feigning indifference.

“You'll be fine. Ain't no point worrying about something you can't change. Besides, you're plenty clever. If there's a problem needing solved, you're the first pony I'd ask,” Applejack said, failing to understand the problem.

“Well thank you. I'm flattered,” Twilight said, forcing a smile and hoping that would be the end of it.

Applejack looked at her uncertainly but appeared to have decided to let it drop, something for which Twilight was incredibly grateful. Really, all she wanted to do was get out of there. The castle's walls felt suddenly oppressive.

“Well, thanks for the pie. It was really kind of you to do this for me, but I think I'm going to go for a walk now,” Twilight said, already making her way hastily towards the door. “I'll see you at lunch?”

Without waiting for an answer, she made her escape, practically galloping through the castle towards the exit. Usually Applejack's calm, sensible advice was reassuring. This time however, the conversation had just caused her to think more about something she had wanted to forget.

Her footfalls echoed into the castle's cavernous depths. Corridor after corridor, twist after turn  she ran, until eventually she emerged in the grand entrance hall. She needed peace and solitude. She needed to be somewhere that nopony would be, and she knew of only one place to find that without leaving the castle grounds.

She hurried across the hall and out of the main doors which stood ajar. Once outside, she slowed her pace and took a deep breath, drawing in the fragrant air of the spring afternoon. She felt the watchful eyes of the dozen or so guards who were posted by at the gates and on the battlements following her as she made her way across the lawn.

She sought to evade their gaze now. She walked calmly and composedly towards the castle gardens, attempting to look as inconspicuous as she should have felt. The guards appeared to lose interest in her movements as soon as her course took her away from the gates and once she had slid past the outermost hedge, she felt invisible to the world.

For what must have been hours, she walked in a state of solitary reflection, surrounded by the immense beauty of the blossoming trees and fledgling flowers of the spring garden. The only sounds she could hear were the mellifluous melodies of a menagerie of majestic birds. They serenaded her softly with a series of sweet symphonies, accompanied only by the wind's whisper as it wandered through the trees.

Yet despite the tranquility, the space and the freedom that the garden had seemed to promise earlier, Twilight still felt trapped by the unforgiving weight on her mind. She felt besieged; surrounded on all sides by her own fears and uncertainties.

Her burden had grown heavier and heavier with every day that had passed. She invariably found some new responsibility to worry about or some new inadequacy of character for which she would soon be exposed. And now, with her coronation only two days away, her burden had at last become unbearable.

She couldn't do this. She couldn't go through with it. Every last ounce of vitality drained from her as she realised that this was how she felt. Her mind felt tired; her body felt tired. Even her heart felt as though it may stop beating in despair.

Twilight collapsed into a heap on the ground, shaking convulsively as silent tears ran down either side of her muzzle. She realised that whether or not she felt as though she could go through with it, didn't matter. Fate had conspired to make this happen and happen it undoubtedly would. There was no hope of flight, no hope of escape.

She had come to Canterlot, spurred on by her friends’ advice and offers of assistance. She had felt almost confident about the whole thing. She had been assured that everything would be okay and she had willfully thrown herself forwards. Yet now, it appeared that this confidence had been a trick of her mind, and a very cruel one at that.

Her fears had been shrouded by a complacent fog and now that that fog had lifted, they appeared clearer and closer than they ever had before: inadequacy, ineptitude, isolation, humiliation, failure.

She pressed her eyelids closed as tightly as she could, blocking the entire world from her sight and wishing it away. Or else wishing that she could just lie there for the rest of time and sink into oblivion.


* * * * *


A brisk breeze blew over Twilight's back, rudely wakening her from her slumber. She didn't remember falling asleep, but given the lack of sleep from the night before and the toils of the day, it was hardly surprising that it had happened.

Her body ached as she lay , opening her eyes briefly. The sun had set and the sky above her was dotted with the sparkling light of a hundred or more stars. Yet for once she was completely unmoved by the heaven's display. How could she appreciate its beauty when it had so conspired against her?

Twilight closed her eyes once more, just in time to shield them from another chilling gust of wind. She welcomed its icy touch. Its coldness was befitting of her melancholy; the discomfort a perfect accompaniment to her sorrow.

As time wore on though, the air itself seemed to freeze at the wind's behest. It was perhaps because of this that Twilight gradually became aware of a subtle warmth emanating from a spot just to her right. She wasn't sure for how long it had been there but when she listened carefully, she could just make out the sound somepony breathing.

She had, of course, anticipated somepony coming to find her although she had hoped that it would take them a little longer than this. Her ear twitched, unbidden, responding mechanically to the sound and betrayed her cognisance to the intruder.

“Twilight? Are you okay?”

The voice was quiet, barely a whisper. Twilight didn't answer it. She didn't look at the other pony. She didn't even open her eyes. She just lay there, shivering in the cold evening air.

There followed the sound of earth being trodden down and the sensation of the pony laying down next to her. There was a brief pause, then Twilight felt the soft touch of feathers upon her back and flank as she was enveloped in a pegasus' wing.

“You'll catch your death out here you know," the voice informed her. "I've... we've been so worried about you. When you didn't show up for dinner, I thought you might have run away.”

Twilight felt incredibly guilty all of a sudden. She hadn't meant to worry anypony.

“What are you doing out here, all alone, in the dark?” the pony asked.

Twilight finally turned to face the other pony and found a pair of large, teal eyes looking back at her. Fluttershy looked as though she were afraid of what the answer to her question might be.

“It's quiet here,” Twilight responded.

Fluttershy smiled kindly and gave the briefest of nods, then silence descended again. There was no insistence on conversation; no questions as to why Twilight had wanted to go somewhere quiet. Just a comforting squeeze from the pegasus’ wing and her comforting presence. Why couldn’t everypony be so considerate?

Twilight slid a little closer to the other pony, no longer feeling like she wanted to be cold or alone.

“I'm sorry for worrying you,” Twilight mumbled.

“It’s alright. I’m just glad to have found you,” Fluttershy said, giving Twilight another little squeeze.

The two ponies sat in silence for another couple of minutes, during which time Twilight considered telling Fluttershy what she had told Applejack. In the end though, she thought better of it. She didn’t want to upset the other pony any further. Nor did she want to allow herself to become upset again. Her mind wandered away from the thought very quickly, instead resting upon something else.

As she lay closer to Fluttershy, she noticed that she could feel the pegasus’ heart beating. She had begun counting the rhythm even before she had apologised to her. Its regularity had been just as comforting as the warmth radiating from its owner. However at some point -Twilight wasn't quite sure when - Fluttershy's heart rate had increased markedly.

At first Twilight had thought the other pony was embarrassed by their proximity to one another, or else by something she had said. However this theory was contradicted by the fact that she hadn’t attempted to move away. Nor had she stuttered anything she had said. It was very peculiar indeed…

After a few more minutes of contemplation, Twilight was suddenly hit by the solution. It had been staring her in the face the entire time, though she hadn’t seen it.

Darkness.

Fluttershy was afraid of the dark. Wasn’t she? Well, she was scared of so many things and so many ponies were afraid of the dark. She was shaking a little too. Twilight had originally put that down to the cold, but it could also fit with this hypothesis. In any case, what other possibilities were there? Twilight muzzled Fluttershy’s neck softly.

“We should go back to the castle,” she said, reluctantly.

She didn’t particularly want to go back to the castle. She dreaded the other ponies' reprimanded for being out so late. Also, sitting quietly with the Fluttershy had calmed her down immeasurably. She didn't want to leave now.

But Fluttershy had been so kind in allowing her to do so that she felt she should return the favour. It wasn’t fair to ask her to stay when it was making her feel so uncomfortable.

It was as she thought this that Twilight had an epiphany. Fluttershy had come looking for her even though it meant putting up with something she hated. She had shown kindness in the face of her fear. She was doing exactly what Twilight didn’t was afraid to do: putting somepony else’s  feelings above her own.

While this realisation didn’t immediately wave away her doubts about her duties to the ponies of Equestria, it was very humbling. Fluttershy’s example was one to be admired. If she could behave so kindly and so selflessly, Twilight was determined that she could do so too.

The pegasus retracted her wing slowly, allowing Twilight to stand and the two ponies walked side by side out of the garden and back to the castle. On the way, Twilight stole the odd glance at the pegasus. She had no idea how Fluttershy had managed, with barely a word, to change her outlook on her situation. It was incredible. Even more so because it wasn't the first time.

It seemed that with every new problem Twilight found, Fluttershy was there to provide the solution. Their eyes briefly while they walked but both ponies immediately looked away, blushing as they did so. For her part, Twilight was embarrassed to have been found brooding over what amounted to just about nothing. As for Fluttershy, Twilight didn't know. She had nothing to blush about. She has been wonderful.

“Thank you, Fluttershy, for coming to find me…” Twilight said. “And for sitting with me. It was very kind of you.”

Fluttershy blushed again, more deeply this time, but said nothing. Yet that reddening of her cheeks said everything that needed to be said. It said ‘you’re welcome’; it said ‘any time’; but more than anything, it said ‘that’s what friends are for’.