//------------------------------// // Big Fat Liar // Story: Waking up as Rarity. // by TonydBrony //------------------------------// I gotta admit, I’m pretty proud of the plan Rarity and I came up with. So, here’s the plan, guys! Annie calls this clothing place, I pack up my shit, and I hitch a ride on the delivery truck! Genius, isn’t it? Seriously, how could this possibly go wrong? It’s foolproof! You’ll find a way to botch this up somehow, dear Despite the comfy ensemble Rarity put together, I was constantly getting an itching feeling of being watched. Every so often, I’d glance behind myself, but it would be the same thing everytime; an empty hallway. Still just an empty hall, I thought to myself, and hastily trotted after Anastazia, who happily agreed to escort me back to my room and get the junk I brought with me. “Thank you ever so much, dear.” I said for the upteenth time, and finally getting my Rarity impression down to a solid C+. “Happy to help!” Annie called over her shoulder, skipping down the seemingly endless hall. “One question though.” “Yes dear?” “What are we getting exactly?” I put my trotting on hold for a moment and shut my mouth before I could reply. I can’t just tell her I’m getting my phone so I can escape this very cozy prison. She’d get suspicious! Maybe even get her nanny. Or worse, make me sleep outside. Rarity butted in, Oh, what’s the matter, Tony? I thought you liked camping? Now’s not the time, woman! It took me a moment to realize I was standing in the middle of the hall, making faces of an argumentative nature while Annie stared down at me like I was a few fries short of a happy meal. “Umm... Rarity?” She spoke slowly and with concern in her voice. A bead of sweat formed at my brow. “Y-yes Miss Drendel?” I stuttered and failed at trying to be subtle. “Are you alright?” I just smiled. How do I say that I’m imitating her favorite pony and sharing her body without sounding like I’m bat-shit insane? Simple. “What? Oh! Terribly sorry, Anastazia-dear. I was lost in your beautiful home decor.” Just don’t mention it. Annie giggled and continued skipping along the halls... She actually bought that. Although, honestly I do feel bad for using a naive young girl like this, but I do need to do what’s necessary if I plan to ever escape. If that means lying to sweet girl like Annie, well so be it. Seriously, I hate to lie to her... “So, what did you leave behind, Rarity?” Annie’s voice broke me out of my trance and back to the real world. “A... Friend? And my lucky sweatshirt.” Annie turned on a dime to face me again. “A friend? I didn’t know you brought someone with you!” She squealed happily and made an ear-piercing “Eeeee!” sound. “Who is it? Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie? What about Apple Jack!? Please tell me it’s Apple Jack!” Well, if you think about it, saying Pinkie Pie wouldn’t entirely be a lie... “Well... Not quite, Annie. You see, I brought a small friend of mine who I couldn’t leave home without. Her name is-” “Omigosh! You brought Sweetiebelle with you?!” I facehoofed and sighed heavily. “Is it true that Sweetiebelle is actually a robot? Oh! And is she really as bad of a cook as she is in the cartoon?” Jeeze, she’s got a mouth on her like a motor-boat. “No, yes, and for the love of Saint Peter, I didn’t bring my sister with me.” You mean, MY sister? Rarity said, deadpan. “Then... Who did you bring?” “Ellie,” I said simply and trotted around Annie to a familiar door that I think I passed through on my way down to Annie’s room. “She’s an elephant and a very close friend of mine.” Annie’s face turned into a frown of puzzlement and scratched her head. “I don’t follow...” “Look, are you going to help me rescue her or am I going solo?” I snapped, forgetting that I was actually going to go get my phone, rather than my adorable traveling companion. Annie smirked. Like, one of those I’m-not-afraid-of-danger smirks. “Does this mean we’re like spies?” I took a second to look at Anastazia. She smiled like nothing was wrong with the world. She was so blissfully ignorant to my struggle, and the guilt of lying to her started setting in. “Yeah...” I muttered, trying to keep a cool head. (I’d rather not lose it.) “Just like spies.” ^v^v^v^ Somehow, I’m not sure how, I had been distracted for almost an hour as Annie and I snuck through the hallways. We had even made a game out of our expedition and our objective was to save Ellie without being spotted by any of the many workers throughout the manor. Surprisingly, not a soul found us and we even decided to take a detour through the kitchen for a quick snack. Hey, no good spy works well on an empty stomach. Annie and I were crouched with apple in hand (telekinesis in my case), and following a wall to a corner. Our progress came to a screeching halt as loud thumping footsteps boomed around the corner with a hulking shadow to match. There was a moment of silence and I glanced over at Annie. “What do we do?” I whispered, genuinely concerned. Before she could answer, the owner of the loud footsteps and shadow lumbered around the corner. The guy was massive and wearing a sleek black suit that I could probably swim in if I tried. Now that I think about it, he was probably about my height before waking up as Rarity. “Cheeze it! It’s the fuzz!” Anastazia suddenly yelped and dived behind a large vase the size of a dresser. The bear of a man laughed. He fucking laughed. “Hello Miss Drendel and company!” He bellowed in a strong European accent. German maybe? “Dinner vill be ready in one hour, ya?” Annie poked her head out from behind cover. “False alarm, Rarity. It’s just Allan Bassoonavich.” She said with a light-hearted laugh. “But I call him Mister B! Isn’t that right, Mister B?” Allan, whom I already started to like, smiled a wide toothy grin and leaned down to ruffle her dyed hair. “Vatever makes young Anna happy.” Annie pushed the massive hand off her head and hugged his arm. Oh, did I mention that his hands were the size of baseball mitts? “So, vat are ve playing today, young Anna?” Mister B asked as he easily pried his arm from Annie’s little hands. “Hide unt go seek? Pirates? Team Deathmatch?” That last one concerns me... “Nope! We’re secret spies,” she pointed out nonchalantly. “Off to save a prisoner.” “Da,” said Allan with a nod. “I vish you luck unt hope you find your target safely.” Without another broken word, the man, who I made the connection looked like a gorilla wearing a suit, walked around us, singing in a language that I knew nothing about. Well, that was certainly an interesting character... Rarity mentally noted in the back of my mind. I wonder if we’ll see him again... “Hey Annie?” I asked, turning to look at her as she rolled out of cover. “Who was... The umm..” “Al?” “Yeah, what’s his deal?” Annie giggled again and leaned against the wall. “Allan’s my dad’s gardener and sometimes my baby sitter. He’s just a big old teddy bear.” For a moment, I just stood there, staring at Annie with a blank expression. Deciding it was better not to ask, I turned and took point in the search for my missing gear. ^v^v^ All distractions aside, Anastazia and I eventually found the room was I was introduced to when I was first brought to my metaphorical prison. Then, as if I didn’t know what to expect, I saw my backpack hanging off the back of the chair I used earlier, right next to my road-ravaged hoodie, which was neatly folded on the vanity table. “Is that yours?” Annie asked in a surprised tone as I picked up my sentimental pink hoodie Don’t tell anyone, but I kinda rubbed my cheek against the fabric like I was being reunited with a long lost friend... Which I would be, shortly. “Why yes, dear. Why ever do you ask?” “Well...” The way she trailed off gave me that same itching feeling from earlier. “I’m pretty sure that hoodie is pink... And I don’t know of a time that you ever wore something pink. Or with Pinkie Pie’s balloons on it. Or a hoodie for that matter!” Her eyes darted to my backpack and she put on a suspicious glare. “That’s not a saddlebag either... And that’s Pinkie Pie’s face on it...” Annie was down at my level before I could blink or say anything; she was staring me down. “Rarity,” she said in an ensconced voice that made me want to rip my hair out... You will do no such thing, young man! “Are you actually Pinkie Pie in disguise?!” And just like that, her suspicion was washed away by suppressed squeals of excitement. Talk about dodging a bullet. I bet you a creamsicle you could me in front of a fully loaded 9mm pistol and I wouldn’t get shot! Wait... Already did that. No creamsicle for you! I sighed and tried my very best not to laugh. “No, dear. I am not Pinkie Pie.” She pointed an accusing finger at my gear. “Then why is your stuff all Pinkie Pie-ish?” “It’s... Umm...” I rubbed the back of my head, not sure how to respond. C’mon, Tony... Think of something, I mentally cheered myself on. “It’s what?” “Magic..?” Dammit, me! Annie raised an eyebrow raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “What kind of magic?” “It’s enchanted!” I suddenly blurted out before I could think of a reasonable reply. “When I wear it, I can be just as silly as Miss Pie herself.” I was nodding nervously and smiling just as badly. If my luck pulls through, maybe she’ll buy this too. Although the fib was half-assed, Annie seemed to believe it with yet another larger that life smile. “And your little friend?” At the mentioning of Ellie, I snatched up my backpack and started rummaging through it’s contents. At the bottom of the bag was my phone and my adorable plush traveling companion, Ellie. Naturally, I pushed my phone aside and raised Ellie up in a telekinetic grasp. “Here she is, in all her glory. Elanor Dan-” I cough. “Elanor Belle!” “She’s adorable!” Annie squealed and reached for her. Out of pure instinct, I pulled her back down and hugged my dear friend. She’s like family. I’m so embarrassed to be sharing a body with you right now, rang Rarity’s annoyed voice in the back of my mind. Although Annie looked slightly upset at not being able to hold Elanor, I didn’t give it a second thought. “So!” Annie bounced on her heels. “What do we do now?” “Well, I suppose we co-” CRASH The loud thump made us both look to the door as it crashed against the wall; Annie’s nanny stood in the doorway, huffing and looking general pissed off. “You!” She pointed a long finger at me and I nearly lost my colors. “What do you think you’re doing in here?!” She took long strides into the room and was in front of me before I could take a breath. “Nan-” “I don’t want to hear it, Anastazia!” The nanny grabbed her by the ear and me by the collar of my shirt and was dragging us out of the room. “You know your mother’s dressing room is off-limits!” “But Nana-” “No buts! To your room! Now!” The nanny glared down at me with the ferocity of a warthog. “You. Outside, now!” I didn’t wait for her tell me twice and got my hooves galloping like hell was on my heels. What the hell just happened?