The human’s eyes fluttered open. His head throbbed rhythmically, in tune with his heart. He worked his jaw a few times, trying to get some feeling back into it, trying to get some of the dryness out. He tried to spit, but nothing came out.
Drugged? Feels like it. He strained against his restraints. No give. “Damn horse.”
The room was dark, it’s single window blocked out by something. How long had he been there? A few days, at least. Ever since the bank incident. When Dr. Horrible disappeared. He just kind of woke up one day and there he was.
Johnny Snow, chained to some wall within the Evil League of Evil. It was laughable, really. He wasn’t one of the big shot heroes; hardly anyone in the League even knew who he was. And now he was chained up in the belly of the beast. Johnny smirked. Not even Captain Hammer could say that much.
“Who’s your arch-rival now, Doctor?”
The door handle shook, then turned.
A man strode in, wearing a blue jacket that matched with his blue sequined shirt. His cheeks were highlighted by makeup and there was a dull blue circle on his forehead. “Where is Dr. Horrible.” It wasn’t a question.
“Dead Bowie, we’ve gone through this over and o--”
The villain grabbed Johnny Snow, staring into his eyes. “Where is he?”
Johnny, to his credit, stared right back. “I. Don’t. Know. And your power won’t get you another answer.”
“What power?”
“The power of voodoo.”
“Voodoo?”
“You do.”
Bowie grimaced, shoving Snow’s head to the side. “That’s the other Bowie. The one who wasn’t murdered.”
“Right. Of course. How cold of me.”
The other sneered and reached into his pocket. His hand retracted, closed around a small key. Dead Bowie released the hero’s restraints. “Come on. Bad Horse wants to see you.”
“That won’t change anything,” replied Snow, rubbing at his wrists. “I still have no idea where Dr. Horrible ended up.”
Bowie shoved him forward. “Shut up. Start walking.”
***
Dr. Horrible awoke smoothly. The room was dark, unlit except by moonlight filtered by a window. It was the most restful sleep he had had in a long time. No dreams. None of that terrible sound, that flash of red, that cry of a coward, those warm, wet drops of red, those terrible last words.
Captain Hammer will save us.
Billy felt the tears well up.
Dr. Horrible forced them back down. Later. Memories could be saved for later, after he had found her again. This first attempt had failed, but the villain was used to failed attempts. It was a simple matter of picking yourself up again, going back to your plans, finding where you went wrong, and building another trans-dimensional portation device.
Easy enough.
But first thing’s first. Getting out of this damned hospital where, apparently, ponies walked around with anaesthetic.
Or where ponies walk around at all, thought Dr. Horrible as he brought himself to his feet. Seriously, this place is pretty much a petting zoo gone wrong. A quick glance over his bandages They were clean and well-tied. The pain was still there though. Dr. Horrible sneezed. Mission One. Find coat.
The villain left his room. He was in a long hallway, nearly perfectly symmetrical. All of the doors had nameplates on them. Dr. Horrible walked right past them, one arm held against his abdomen. There has to be a closet around here somewhere.
The hallway opened up into the lobby. The room was empty, save for a light brown unicorn dressed in a doctor’s coat sitting at the reception desk. He was, however, snoring lightly.
Dr. Horrible cast an eye around the room. There was a door, right behind the receptionist’s desk, conveniently marked ‘closet.’
“Damn it,” breathed the villain. He tiptoed forward, wincing as his shoes squeaked against the linoleum floor. They left my shoes on, noted Dr. Horrible. Why did it take me this long to realize? And why shoes?
The unicorn kept snoring as Dr. Horrible made his way into the closet. Towels and blankets sat packed into shelves. The coat sat at the very top of the shelves, red standing starkly against the largely white linen.
“There you are,” muttered Dr. Horrible. He reached up. His left shoulder twinged in protest, sending a red-hot pain through his arm. That wouldn’t be healing fully anytime soon. Lucky that that cop hadn’t shot his right arm, though.
Dr. Horrible froze. His right arm was missing a very important tool, a silver addition that hadn't left his side ever since he had first crafted it.
“Shit.” He slapped a head onto his mouth and turned towards the closet’s entrance. The unicorn’s breathing was still steady.
Something else to find, cured Dr. Horrible silently. Damn horses must have taken it while I was sleeping. He scanned the closet. No glint of silver or red. It was, however, very cold. The villain threw his coat on, fumbling slightly with the buttons. He adjusted his goggles and fit his hands snuggly into the gloves.
There, he thought, now in full garb, I’m feeling more villainous already. Now where’s that death ray?
The pony doctor was still fast asleep in his chair. It was incredible, really. Dr. Horrible had to commend the unicorn on his utter devotion to sleep.
The death ray would not have been stashed away in another patient’s room; Dr. Horrible was certain of that. And it wasn’t in the closet. An office, maybe. Or an area where the hospital kept patients’ files. There was a door off to the left marked ‘Office.’
How convenient, thought the villain. He moved towards the door, reaching out to push it open. Something on the other side of the door thudded to the floor, immediately followed by what sounded like a shush.
“Rainbow Dash!” whispered a muffled voice, “Be careful!”
The rolling eyes were audible. “Well, sorry, Twi. It’s not like I’ve done this before or anything.”
“And how did that turn out?”
“I got the book!”
The room lapsed back into silence. Dr. Horrible placed his head against the door, listening intently to what sounded like shuffling hooves and squeaking hinges. You better not be doing what I think you’re doing, purple horse.
The second voice, Rainbow Dash, came back, not quite a whisper far quieter than she was used to if the strain in her voice was anything to go by. “What’re we looking for again?”
“A metallic object, mainly silver, with a red stripe going down the middle of it and two black straps along the bottom of it.” It sounded as though Twilight had gone through this answer multiple times. “If you do find it, be very careful and do not point it at anypony.”
“It fires lasers, right?”
There was a pause. Dr. Horrible thought he caught the hint of a sigh from Twilight Sparkle.
“Yes Rainbow. It fires lasers.”
“Awesome.”
A few more moments of shuffling, then: “I don’t think it’s here.”
“We’ll move on then,” came Twilight’s reply. “There’s plenty of other rooms and the guard should be asleep until tomorrow.”
Dr. Horrible retreated from the door, towards a group of vending machines placed in a sort of alcove to the lobby. He pressed himself up against the wall, allowing himself to peek around the side of the vending machine.
Twilight Sparkle came out first, crouching slightly and walking in the strange gait of one seriously trying to be sneaky and having no real idea of what they were doing. Rainbow Dash, who certainly lived up to her name, followed soon afterwards, nearly flat against the ground and walking with the gait of someone who’s seen too many spy movies.
Dash glanced at the sleeping unicorn. “Think you might have overdone it, Twi?” she snickered.
“It was necessary!” Dr. Horrible could almost make out the blush from his place across the room. “He’ll wake up with no ill effects.”
“Yeah, yeah. Where’s that monkey thing you were talking about? I want to see him!”
“This isn’t a zoo, Rainbow Dash. And ‘Dr. Horrible’ should still be asleep. A stallion won’t wake up for two days with the caliber of anesthetic spell he was hit with.” The two mares rounded a corner. It looked like they were heading upstairs.
“Breaking and entering,” muttered Dr. Horrible as he stepped out of his hiding spot. “Naughty, naughty, little ponies. And I am not a stallion.” He stepped into the room that the mares had just left and turned the light back on. It was completely tidy, no sign of the ransacking it had just received.
The villain paced inside the room, halfheartedly peeking in drawers and opening cupboards. They couldn’t find it in here. That gives us two options: it was never here to begin with or it was hidden in a place that nopony would think to look. Given what I’ve seen of Nurse Redheart, I’m inclined towards the latter.
He looked around the room. Filing cabinets, cupboards, a desk, a window covered by a curtain, and a few chairs. Nothing immediately sprang to his vision.
The nurse didn’t have a horn or wings. She’d have to physically get somewhere to hide anything. It wouldn’t necessarily have to be someplace she’d be able to easily get to either. But it would be a place that she could easily identify.
Dr. Horrible pulled out the chair, picking it up to ensure that it made as little noise as possible. He looked up towards the ceiling. It was made up of flimsy square panels, the kind that could be easily moved. One of the tiles, nearly directly over Dr. Horrible’s head, had a very faint red cross in its corner.
Gotcha.
He climbed the chair and moved the tile. How did she even get it here? he marveled silently. These ponies really don’t work like horses.
Dr. Horrible felt his fingers brush against something hard. He dragged his death ray out, brushing a bit of dust off of it. There was a green sticky note attached to it.
You shouldn’t be climbing chairs. If you’re anything like a pony, those wounds haven’t fully healed.
-Redheart
The human stared down at the note. He snorted once and crumpled it, throwing the note aside. The death ray was strapped back onto his forearm, its weight suddenly far more noticeable than it once was.
Now, to get out of this damn hospital.
***
“Fine, Rainbow! But just for a little bit. And keep quiet; my spell puts ponies to sleep, but they won’t stay that way forever.”
“I can be quiet!” protested Rainbow Dash rather loudly. “I’d just rather share my awesome with the world. It’s this room, right?”
Twilight nodded, rubbing between her eyes. Brain, you said that bringing Rainbow would be a good idea. You lied to me.
Brain remained shamefully quiet.
“Hey Twi, how big is this thing?” asked Rainbow Dash from inside the room.
“He barely fit in the hospital bed.” Twilight felt the something inexplicable in the pit of her stomach. “Taller than Big Mac, definitely.”
“So he wouldn’t be covered up by the blankets or something?”
Twilight ran into the room. No Biped. She threw the covers off of the bed, pulled back the curtains, checked the space under the bed. No Biped.
“Rainbow… He’s gone.”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
But Twilight Sparkle allowed the snark to pass. She ran out of the room, barreling down the hallway and back to the lobby. He wouldn’t have left without his coat and that ray. The coat was in the linen closet. The ray was hidden; it’s entirely possible that he’s still looking for it. She peeked into the closet. The coat was gone. Twilight turned around, scanning the lobby. Everything was in order, undisturbed. But something was bothering her, something was off and if she could just put her hoof on--
The light was on. The light in the room that she and Rainbow Dash had just gone through, the one that she had made sure to turn off, was on.
***
Dr. Horrible adjusted his ray. It didn’t sit right on his arm anymore. It felt uncomfortable, rather like the first time he had decided to put it on. The feeling would pass.
Alright, here’s the plan. Get out of here. Find an abandoned home. Build up. This hospital has monitors; I could sneak a few out and take them apart. This take of the transdimensional traveler was a bust but there’s an infinite amount of options left. She’s still out there somewhere. Dr. Horrible turned off the room’s light and walked back out into the lobby. Of course, he didn’t even get out of the doorway before his march brought him directly before a glowing purple horn.
“What are you doing here, Doctor?” asked Twilight though a scowl.
Dr. Horrible smiled. “I’m going for a stroll through the hospital. And how about yourself, Miss Trigger Happy Unicorn?”
Twilight kept on scowling.
Rainbow Dash floated down the stairs. “Hey Twi, I don’t think he’s upstairs anymore.” She froze at the sight of Twilight Sparkle facing down the Biped.
“And you brought a friend, too!” said the human in mock excitement. “Are there no laws in this place or something?”
“It really does walk on two legs!” Rainbow Dash flew up to take a closer look at Dr. Horrible. “You know, when Twi and Fluttershy said that this walking monkey thing had shown up out of nowhere, I thought that they had gone crazy or something.” She pumped a hoof in the air. “But now, Cloud Kicker owes me ten bits! Awesome!”
Dr. Horrible raised an eyebrow. “Monkey thing?”
The pegasus shrugged. “Biped. Whatever. I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in all of Equestria, future Captain of the Wonderbolts, and the coolest pony you’re gonna meet.” She stuck out a hoof. “Don’t worry, the pleasure’s all yours.”
The human felt his eye twitch. “You remind me of somebody. He was a braggart too.”
“Hey! I’m not a braggart! It’s not bragging if it’s true!”
Twilight’s scowl deepened. “Dr. Horrible, I would very much appreciate if you would stop insulting my friends.”
“What are you going to do, put me back to sleep?”
The unicorn’s horn glowed brightly.
“I’ll take that as a probably.” Dr. Horrible slammed the door, and locked it in one quick movement. He was back in the room. Nothing had changed. Filing cabinets, cupboards--
“Open this door right now, Doctor!” Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash kicked against the door. The wood began to buckle under their combined strength.
--a desk, a -- Oh, that’s actually useful.
The two mares kept up their assault on the door.
"Dr. Horrible! Come out!" Twilight was fuming. She delivered another buck to the door to no avail. "Rainbow Dash, step away from the door." The unicorn allowed herself a few steps. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as a purple aura surrounded her horn. A moment later and the same hue covered the door.
Twilight Sparkle felt a hoof on her shoulder.
"And just what do you think you're doing?" The doctor turned night guard yawned slightly, but there was a clear disdain in his eyes.
"It's the fuzz, Twi!" said Rainbow loudly. "We've gotta bail!" She made for the door, but was quickly pulled back by a caramel aura.
The doctor frowned heavily. "Would either of you care to explain why I woke up from what feels like an anesthetic spell to two of the Elements of Harmony trying to break down the door to this hospital's records room?"
"You're still asleep?" suggested Rainbow Dash.
"Hardly. Did you forget a book in there or something?" asked the doctor with the clearest note of sleepy snark.
"Doctor," said Twilight through a calming breath, "there's a patient in there. We need to speak to him, he's in possession of a highly powerful machine, and he seems completely averse to negotiations. Do you have a key?"
The doctor's eyes closed slightly. "Maybe Rainbow Dash was right. I'm still sleeping, aren't I?" He trotted back to his desk, returning moments later with a key floating before him. He unlocked the door and peeked inside. "Nothing's in here."
"WHAT?!" shouted Twilight. She forced her way into the records room. The filing cabinets, chairs, desk, were all in place. A curtain flapped, propelled by a night breeze coming in through the open window. The doctor shook his head, promising to deal with the mares in the morning. Rainbow Dash seemed slightly let down.
Twilight Sparkle just stared through the window, her eyes fixed on the black backdrop of the Everfree Forest.