//------------------------------// // Chapter 19: The Hero // Story: The Cassandra Chronicles // by CassandraMyOCisBestpony //------------------------------// WARNING: This chapter spoils the ending of a Simon Pegg movie; even mentioning it by name would be too much of a spoiler. It is more than 5 years old, however, which I believe to be an acceptable grace period. You have been warned. “Help, help!” cried the little filly at the bottom of the well. Cassandra and Rainbow Dash were flying high above when they heard the little filly. “She needs help, Rainbow Dash!” exclaimed Cassandra “I’m on it!” said Dash, and she swooped downwards. Cassandra could have saved the child much faster and more efficiently, but she didn’t; Rainbow Dash needed the ego boost. “Pry the boards, don’t smash through them!” called Cassandra. Rainbow Dash smashed through the boards and dove down into the well. Moments later she emerged victorious with the filly. “Thank you for saving me Rainbow Dash” she said. “No problem” said Rainbow Dash, though she wondered why she’d never noticed a well in that spot before. ***** Later that day, a baby carriage was flying down a steep hill, careening towards the edge of a deadly cliff. Rainbow Dash couldn’t recall ever seeing this topographical feature before, nor fathom why anypony would pave a road that led right to the edge of a cliff, but the time for questions was later. She grabbed onto the baby carriage and stopped it just in time. The crowd went wild, and Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but show off. Her friends were in a less-cheery mood though “Can’t she see how annoying that is?” griped Twilight “Ah reckon she ain’t bein’ modest enough” replied Applejack. Later still, the balcony above the nursing home up and collapsed out of nowhere, but luckily Rainbow Dash was there to save the day. While she was glad for the fame, she was confounded by the fact that there was such a huge concentration of accidents in a single day. “Seriously, somepony want to tell me what the feather is going on?” she demanded. Written by Merriweather Williams flashed across the screen “Oh, so it’s gonna be one of those days” she groaned. The townspeople applauded Rainbow Dash. Reporter ponies snapped pictures of her, and little fillies clamored for autographs. Spike agreed to write her autobiography for her “I’m a ghostwriter” he proclaimed proudly. “Ghostwriter was an awesome show” remarked Cassandra. She remembered it because she was a 90’s kid. “Are you still tired of Rainbow Dash’s showboating?” asked Twilight “Yer darn tootin’” said Applejack, “but if we keep talkin’ behind her back and act all passive aggressive like, that has ta solve th’ problem eventually.” They agreed, it was a good plan. ***** A hot air balloon burst and it was going down with the pilot inside. This time, Rainbow Dash showboated too much and missed the chance to save her. Instead, Mare Do Well jumped out and rescued the pilot. The town cheered, instantly forgetting about all the good deeds that Rainbow Dash had done. ***** In the town square, a new skyscraper was going up. The mayor had declared that she was tired of seeing the night sky, breathing clean air, and enjoying the quiet tranquility of nature. They had a bunch of construction equipment, thanks to Cassandra, who had invented the internal combustion engine 3 weeks ago. However, problems soon arose because nopony had trusted her advice that they should create OSHA. The building collapsed and Rainbow Dash was on the scene, but she was too busy trying to do catchphrases to concentrate on saving them. Mare Do Well came in and saved them for her. Rainbow Dash managed to save one pony, but it didn’t mean squat because Mare Do Well saved more. ***** Rainbow Dash was seriously hankering for her fix of heroism. But ironically, the one time she wanted to find a problem, she couldn’t. Then, her eyes fixed on the hydroelectric dam. It had been built after Cassandra invented electricity 2 days ago. The dam was impenetrable and perfect in every way...almost. For just like its owner, the dam had one kryptonite: stupidity. The dam began to crack as the rainbow pegasus neared. “I’ll just plug this leak with my HOOF!” declared Rainbow Dash. She jabbed her hoof into the concrete wall. Suddenly, another crack formed. She tried to plug it up too, but it only made the fractures worse. In an instant, the entire wall came down, trapping Dash in a torrent of water. Luckily Mare Do Well was there to save her and fix the dam. ***** “I don’t know what to do Cassandra” whined Rainbow Dash “Yes, please just walk in here without knocking” said Cassandra. “Mare Do Well is taking all the credit for saving ponies. She’s a unicorn, a pegasus, a Pinkie-senser, and a fashion designer all rolled into one! And it’s like she can be four places at once!” “Rainbow, have you ever seen a movie called Hot Fuzz?” inquired Cassandra. “50 times, why?” “Does that give you any clue as to what might be going on here?” Rainbow Dash pondered for a minute, “Nope, nothing.” “Then depart in ignorance, you must learn this on your own.” "So what you're saying is, I should murder Mare Do Well." "There is no way you could have inferred that from my word choices" said a bewildered Cassandra/ "Alright, you drive a hard bargain, but I'll settle for just unmasking her in public. Bye Cassandra!" and Dash was off. ***** An event was being held to award Mare Do Well a medal. Rainbow Dash lunged at the masked Mare, but she was too quick. Dash chased Mare Do Well through a labyrinthine back alley, but Mare Do Well continue to elude her grasp. Finally, she snuck up behind Mare Do Well, and lunged at her. Surprisingly, her yelling didn’t alert Mare Do Well to her presence, and she managed to subdue the masked pony. She pulled off her mask and it was Pinkie Pie! “Pinkie?” she cried, “You’re Mare Do Well?” “We all are” said Twilight, as she and the rest of her friends emerged “I made the costumes” said Rarity “I fixed the dam” added Twilight. “I did the fly-over afterwards” said Fluttershy “I saved the construction workers with my Pinkie Sense” said Pinkie, as Cassandra shoved her out of the way of a falling flowerpot “And Applejack didn't want to be left out, so I made a costume for her too.” finished Rarity “But why?” asked Dash Cassandra, who wasn’t involved in the Mare Do Well project because she didn’t believe in deception, spoke up, “They wanted to teach you a lesson in humility, Rainbow Dash. Your showboating was starting to get in the way of saving ponies. You shouldn't be after fame, you should be doing it because you’re a good person.” “I understand” said Rainbow Dash, “I’ll keep doing good deeds whether or not it brings in a crowd of cheering fans.” Aplejack said “Welp, now that Rainbow Dash learnt her less’n I’m thinkin’ we can stop bein’ Mare D-” “I wasn’t done yet,” interrupted Cassandra, “You five have a lesson to learn too. If you have a problem with a friend, you should talk to them instead of trying to break them down. It’s really inappropriate to make a game out of saving lives. Sure, Rainbow wasn’t perfect, but you have to respect her for trying. Please, tell me who thought that demoralization was the right approach to this problem? (that was a rhetorical question, it was obviously Applejack). Maybe she’ll quit and that’ll be one less pony looking out for the town’s safety! Is that what you want, in a town where 6 accidents happened in a single day?” “We’re sorry” said Fluttershy “It’ ok” said Rainbow Dash. The 7 brought it in for a group hug, but Cassandra shoved Applejack away, “There’s still the issue that vigilantism is illegal” she said The other ponies’ faces fell. She was right. “The way I see it, the rest of the world thinks that Mare Do Well is only one pony, so only one of you has to take to fall. I nominate Applejack. All in favor?” They literally could not say “aye” fast enough. Being the princess’s long lost sister made Cassandra judge, jury, and executioner. “Applejack, I sentence you to exile from Ponyville for life. Pack your things and get out by sundown” The other 6 agreed that it was a very fair decision.