//------------------------------// // Father? I Hardly Knew Her! // Story: Sunsets Over a Gala // by TheMessenger //------------------------------// Chapter 3: Father? I Hardly Knew Her! An echoing sigh filled the hall as the mare marched through, levitating a large stack of important documents tied together with red ribbon. A few grey hairs stuck out of the normally exquisite bun she had chosen to style her mane in and her glasses sat slightly crooked, diminishing her usual professional appearance. "One more year like this and I'm retiring," she grumbled to herself, quietly so that her words went unheard by the few guards on guard. Nasty little gossips in armor they were... "Really? And I was on my best behavior..." Raven groaned. With obvious reluctance, she looked up and sure enough, Discord was there leaning on top of the stack of paper. She answered the Draconequus's toothy grin with a frown, before dipping her head in a bow. "Highness." "Where?" Discord swung his head side to side. "Oh, you meant me. Honestly, I have no idea how you keep your job if you can't even remember my name." The secretary resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She turned to leave only to find the Draconequus standing directly in front of her, blocking her path. She took a deep breath. "Is there something you need, Your Highness?" she said as sweetly as she could. "Dunno, that's why I came to you." Discord tossed a small book in her direction. Raven nearly lost her grip on her own load as she caught the book. "What does my planner have for me today?" Raven pursed her lips before setting aside her bundle of work and cracking open the calendar. "The dates are all written backwards." "Yup." "As are the notes." "Well, so they are. What, can't you lead right to left?" "That's not exactly the problem here," Raven said steadily. "Oh, I know!" With a snap of his fingers, a large piece of reflective crystal materialized before him. A few greener guards flinched at the sound of shattering glass. "Here you are," Discord said, offering the largest shard. "...thank you, Your Highness." Celestia's head clerk quickly adjusted her glasses and set the improv mirror next to the page of today, which, unsurprisingly considering the circumstances, actually said 'today'. "Today," Raven read, "pick up dry-cleaning." "Check!" Discord held up a sizable banana suit. "Our anniversary is coming up, I'm thinking about doing something special." "Later today," the Unicorn continued, "discuss politics in the form of a puppet show." "Don't listen to the leftist; they're donkeys! Don't listen to the righties; they're elephants! We're all racists and politicians and racist politicians, rawr." "Later later today, predict the future." "In the next second you will be reading someone else's planner for them." "Some time later today, thank the Secretary and shower her with compliments." "Raven, you are the most talented and well-spoken pony I've ever had-hey, wait a minute..." "Play with Diddy, eat dinner, food fight(?), surprise waifu with..." A bright red blush lit across the mare's white face. "Oh my..." "Ah, the perks of married life." Discord sighed as he clutched at his heart. "I'm sure you wouldn't understand, being married to your job and all. I'm sure it's very rewarding, well, except in the bed-" "I have a husband," the scribe said coldly, ignoring the breach in protocol she made by interrupting the royal. As if in apology, she added hastily, "Your Highness." "Could've fooled me." The Draconequus, snaking an arm around the mare and plucked the agenda out of her magical grasp. "You spend way too much time buried in paper. Take the rest of the day off." "Excuse me?" "You heard me. Take the day off. Eat at Joes or punch an opera bouncer's nose or spend some quality time with this imaginary husband of yours." "You were at the wedding!" Raven shrieked before remembering herself. "Ahem, in any case, I've got a lot of work to do first, and as much as I appreciate the gesture, I would appreciate it more if you would just let me get back to work." "I'm sorry, what was that? I was too busy eating this lovely stack of important documents." The Unicorn let her jaw hang loose. She really had no other reaction. "I...but...my work..." Discord gave the mare a gentle pat on the back. "Take the day off." ***** If there was ever one thing constant about Discord, it was that he loved his games. The trick was, of course, finding willing participants as most of these games were created to accommodate multiple beings. During his first reign the Draconequus had so much difficult finding others to play with that he completely dropped the "willing" part. Thankfully, the acquiring of friends and his marriage meant a reduced likelihood that a pony would find him or herself kidnapped, tied to a rusty toilet, and forced to play twenty questions with a very bored Discord. The birth of his son, whom was just as playful, was a blessing to the Draconequus along with a weary Fluttershy who now has trouble touching dogs named "Bingo" and Princess Celestia who just couldn't afford to spend all day in bed; interpret that as you will. There was just one little matter: finding the boy in the first place. Every single time Discord would end his search with his head hung in defeated only to turn and find the princeling standing behind him. The conclusion never failed to brighten Discord's day and it always brought back the Draconequus's smile faster than he could snap his fingers. "Looking for something, sire?" Discord pulled his head out of the oven and found himself in front of the notoriously grump that served as the castle's head chef. "I might be, but first you have to guess what it is I'm looking for." The stallion sighed, removing the tall toque from his head. The castle staff quickly learned that it was often easier to play along with the trickster than it was to force his cooperation. "You do realize that the princess would be in Court at this time of day." "Ooh, good guess. Close too, but nope, not looking for those kind of hot buns right now, if you know what I mean." Discord wiggled his eyebrows, much to the chef's growing discomfort. "You're never here for food so I doubt you're looking for the other kind...are you looking for a three-legged pony striped like a zebra with a green mane with buttons instead of eyes that flies around our kitchen replacing all the cinnamon sticks with magical glow-in-the-dark licorice?" Those insane yellow eyes blinked. "...Celestia's right, I do spend too much time here. I'm looking lil' Discord Junior. You might have heard of him, prince of Equestria, Son of the Sun, sort of a big deal." The Draconequus pulled out a wallet. He opened it and out tumbled a long roll of photos. "He's got his mom's coat," Discord said, showing the chef a picture of a young Alicorn colt sucking his hoof. "And my Y chromosome, my sense of humor, my charm...oh, let me show you the picture I have of him being chased by Flutters's chickens. That ones a hoot." He looked around. "Hmm, I could have sworn he'd have shown up if I showed you that one. I know, here's little Diddy wetting the bed for the first time!" Discord lowered his voice. "Is he here yet?" he whispered. "No, sire." "Drat." "I saw Prince Solaris some hours ago," an assistant called as she carried a large bag of flour. "He made away with the bag of Bearer o' Honesty's fritters and a couple o' leftover pies after replacin' all the cinnamon sticks with licorice." "There you have it, sire," the head chef said coolly, placing his toque back on, not realizing that it was now a sleeping badger, . "Prince Solaris is not in the kitchen. Now, if you could excuse me, I need to get to work and make sure the sugar hasn't been mixed with the salt." "Well, I guess you're right. Still, it wouldn't hurt to check the fridge." "Please don't." Too late. The ice box door swung open and several small penguins hopped out. Each one held a large tub either ice cream or cream cheese. Ice began to spread over the ground as the penguins paraded through the kitchen. Pots and pans and pastries flew into the air as cooks slipped and fell. This time the chef didn't bother trying to suppress his groan. "Please let Princess Celestia know that dinner will delayed tonight, again," he told an assistant as the mare skated by. "And sire..." He turned around and sighed. Discord was gone, leaving him to clean up the mess. To make matters worse, he had left the refrigerator open. ***** "Have you seen this colt? Have you seen this colt? Have you seen this-" The doors were flung open violently. It took all of the guards' discipline not to scream out as they were crushed into the castle's stone walls by the infamous Royal Canterlot Speaking Voice. "WHO DARES INTERRUPT OUR SLUMBER?" "Indoor voices, Lulu." "Oh, it is you, Discord. I should have realized." Princess Luna tore off the laced mask from her eyes and yawned. "Though foolish asking may be, I must know: what are you doing?" "Oh you know, breathing, being, cellular respiration, thinking about your sister covered in chocolate-" "I meant why are you wandering these halls, screaming at my guards, and disturbing my sleep? For the time being, I'll just ignore all the flyers you seem to be trying to wallpaper the castle with." Luna sighed. "I trust you do have an actual reason for all this and not just another chaotic episode of yours." "Luna Luna Luna..." "Yes, that is my name." "After all these years, you should know by now; I don't have chaotic episodes, I'm an entire show of chaos, though I have to say this season's a bit subdued. I haven't even jumped a shark yet." Discord shook his head and rested his arm around Luna's shoulder. "And I promised the viewers so much," he lamented, bringing his wrist to his temple. "And now I've gone and disappointed them all!" Luna blinked. "Unless you start making sense soon, I'm going back to bed. My headache remains from accompanying Prince Blueblood for the majority of last evening. A pity I missed young Solaris's reappearance." "Solaris...reappearance...oh right!" Discord slapped himself in the forehead. His sister-in-law flinched as the clashing of cymbals shadowed the action. "Have you seen little Diddy?" the Draconequus asked, shoving one of the flyers in the Alicorn's face. On it was the crude rendition of the colt drawn with crayons. "I've been looking for him for, like, fifteen minutes. Don't let anyone know but..." Discord looked around and lowered his voice. "But I'm kind of getting a little worried," he whispered. Luna stared at him. The crazed smile that normally occupied Discord's face had been replaced with a thin line, bordering on, dare she say it, a frown. "You're serious." "Do you really think I'd offer the entire treasury as an award if I wasn't?" "Yes." Luna peeled the paper off her horn and gave it back. "Where have you looked?" "Well, there was the kitchen, this hall, that corridor over there...and that's about it." The Princess of the Night rolled her eyes. "Then I trust you have yet to check the gardens? Our nephew does enjoy spending time cultivating and playing with the many animals there. I hear the upper class learned that rather recently." "Yeah, can't imagine the scandal." Discord held up his hands. "'Breaking news, particular prince plays with posies, petunias, and possums, possible panic probably prepared'. The garden eh?" "Aye," Luna said with a nod. She yawn and groaned, clutching her head. "Let my sister know that I might not make it to dinner." "Again? Luna, keep this up and Diddy'll think he's part of a broken dysfunctional family. Next thing we know and he'll need years of therapy and it'll be all your fault." "Apologies, Discord," she deadpanned. "I will see you later. I bid you luck on your search." "Night sis." Discord waved his hand and presented a glass of warm chocolate milk. "Sweet dreams." The glass was lifted by a blue aura. "Thank you." Then the princess disappeared behind closed doors. "Well, to the gardens..." ***** "Well, if it ain't Sir Discord. Fancy seein' you 'round here." The Draconequus shrugged at the scruffy looking pony wielding a broken rake. "Just looking around. I'm looking for a special kind of creature. He's got white fur and-yeah, I'm looking for Diddy," he finished impatiently. "You know where I can find him?" "Can't say for sure, boss. I haven't seen him but if he's here, he'll either be somewhere." "...somewhere?" "Yep, somewhere. Can't say with that boy. Might be climbin' with the monkeys or feedin the ducks or waterin' the sunflowers. Those are his favorites for some reason. But you can never tell. Get's a lot from his father, if you don't mind me sayin' Your Highness." The old pony chuckled. "Well good luck, I've gotta get back to work. Giant mess let over from last night, I'll tell you what." And with that, the gardener wandered off whistling. It took a few seconds before Discord recovered his encounter and with a quick shake, he refocused himself at the task at hand. As the Draconequus looked between the trees and vines, he couldn't help but be impressed by Greenhooves ability, especially considering the stallion's current age. One could have never had guessed that an entire herd of animals had stampeded through here the previous night. An eternity seemed to pass by as Discord searched. In reality only eight minutes had passed when he finally found the colt sitting next to the pond. A few quacking ducks swam past the unaware princeling as Discord approached. "Guess who?" the Draconequus squealed, grabbing his son's shoulders. Odd, were they always this stiff before? "Hi Dad." Discord started. That wasn't the expected response. Just 'hi'? Just 'Dad'? And what was with the complete lack of energy? No shouting or hopping about? And where were the little giggles? Not that there was anything wrong with the unexpected, Discord reminded himself, smiling again. After all, what was life without a little chaos? "Ding ding! Give the boy a prize!" With a snap and a wave, Discord appeared in front on a bright stage with blinding lights and red curtains. Another snap and Solaris was now sitting on a raised pedestal. "Now behind one of curtains lies a wonderful prize. What could it ever be? A new one-of-the-kind deluxe ice cream makers? A year supply of chocolate milk? An amazing third thing?" As Discord gestured toward the curtains behind him, applause exploded from an invisible crowd. "So Diddy, what'll it be? Curtain number one, curtain number two, or curtain number sixteen?" "Dunno." The colt shifted onto his belly, watching the ducks again. "Tough decision huh?" the Draconequus said, stroking his chin. "Okay, here's a hint: it's not going to be number one or number two, so that leaves..." Discord prompt. Solaris sighed. "Sixteen?" Confetti burst from the ground like colorful geysers as trumpets thundered into the air. The ducks swam off in fright. "That is correct! Give a hand for our winner, Diddy!" Discord cheered, grabbing his son and hoisting him into the air as he was met with the loud delighted shouts and claps from Discord's audience. Solaris slid limply out of the Draconequus grip and took a step forward, away from the crazy scene behind him. He took another step, and then another. "H-hey, aren't you going see what you won?" The colt paused. "No, not really. I don't think I really care. Sorry." Discord felt his jaw drop. Not literally, in a comical fashion in which he would simply pick up the detached body piece and reattach it using a drill. No, Discord's lower jaw simply hung there in utter shock. The curtain was yanked aside and another Discord popped his head from behind it. "Did he just-" "I-I don't know," the first Discord whispered. There as a flash and the stage, the pedestal, and other Discord vanished, leaving the spot how it had been moments prior. "Well how about a game of hide and go fish?" Discord suggested, floating next to Solaris. "I'll be the fish this time." "No thanks." "No? Okay, what about painting?" Discord pulled out a pair of brushes and two large steel buckets of paint. "Wanna paint the town red?" "No, not today." "Monopoly? Dodgeball tourney with the guards? The floor is literally lava?" "No Dad." Solaris turned around and looked up at his father. "I just don't want to play today, okay?" "Don't want to play? But-" "No!" Discord recoiled as if stung by the boy's scream. "Please," Solaris pleaded, "j-just leave me alone, alright?" The Draconequus's feet landed on the ground as he watched Solaris dash away. Again, he let his mouth hang open and again he let the opportunity of a visual gag slip by. No bug of any size flew into Discord's gaping mouth as he watched his son run past the trees and flowers. As he watch his son run away from him. He recognized the scent in the air. He'd recognize it anywhere. It was something he was familiar with, something he loved more than almost anything else. Chaos. Chaos was in the air. It had never tasted so bitter.