Nothing went wrong.
For the rest of that day, at least.
Instead, Twilight Sparkle helped Flash Sentry with his things as they made some of the most awkward small talk in the history of Equestria. Eventually though, the conversation steered away from such topics and to things like their favorite memories from foalhood. For example, Flash learned that Twilight wore contacts (but sometimes wore spectacles just to feel smarter), while in turn Twilight learned about Flash’s first time water skiing and how he broke three legs.
But soon enough, Flash had all his possessions in the guest bedroom. Seeing that their work was finished, Twilight served some ice cream from the freezer to celebrate a job well done. Deliciousness and brainfreeze ensured.
The next morning...
Flash Sentry quietly ate breakfast in the kitchen with Spike. Flash was lucky enough to find his favorite brand of cereal in cupboard, Pony-Os. Spike just had some eggs and toast. Unfortunately for both parties, the coffee was terrible due to the fact that they were out of cream.
“Have you seen Twilight?” Flash asked.
“She’s at her desk,” Spike replied. “She’s been there all night.”
“Is that... normal?” Flash wondered.
“For her, it is,” snorted Spike.
“No, I mean is it healthy?” Flash elaborated. “Do alicorns not need sleep or something?”
“They do,” Spike confirmed, taking a swig of the horrible coffee. “It just seems that Twilight sometimes wants to prove that otherwise. She’s sort of a night owl.”
“Hoo!” proclaimed Owlicious.
“No pun intended.”
“Well, I’m going up there,” said the guardspony. “Someone needs to tell her its daylight.”
“Good luck,” said Spike. “Last time she studied this hard, I became Applejack’s servant-for-life and she didn’t even notice.”
Upstairs, Twilight looked like a mess. Her eyes were red, bloodshot and baggy. Her horn was constantly aglow from writing with quills, levitating books for reference, and neatly putting away notes into files. The last time her mane got this messy, bystanders considered her insane. (Well, they would, if they weren’t distracted by a magically enchanted doll.) But despite her rat nest for a mane, Twilight wasn’t panicking. Instead, there was a serene, monotonous rhythm to her studying; her eyes constantly glued to the paper in thought, contemplating every word she wrote with great care.
“Twilight? Twilight Sparkle?”
She nearly jumped in her seat. “OH! Flash, you started me. I almost spilled my ink bottle!”
“Sorry about that,” Flash apologized. “What are you working on, anyway?”
“Oh, this is my dogma!” Twilight said excitedly.
“Wait, what?”
“My dogma,” Twilight repeated, ushering Flash over like a 40-year-old man wanting to show his friends his prized model train set. “You see, three weeks after I got my wings, Princess Celestia said I could open up a new sector of the Royal Church of Alicorns.”
Flash tried to wrap his head around this. “You... want to open a sector of the church? Like, some sort of sub-religion?”
“Yes.”
“And this sub-religion... what exactly is it going to center around?”
“Me.”
Flash Sentry blinked in shock. He wanted to have an adjective to describe what Twilight was planning on, but words failed him. However, ‘ambitious’ came close, but he feared that it might not be strong enough. ‘Egocentric’ was a close runner-up, though.
“You want ponies to worship you? Like, worship worship? Like, ‘Twilight Sparkle damn it all to Tartarus’ worship?” This wasn’t the Twilight he knew. This wasn’t the Twilight he met yesterday. This wasn’t the Twilight that wanted to lead a simple life in the backwater town of Ponyville. This Twilight completely came out of left field.
“Well, they’re not going to worship me,” said Twilight. “I just want them to follow my philosophy. I want to create a new, bold innovative set of ideals. You know, start a new era. One filled with clear morals, friendship, the spreading of knowledge and the pursuit of scientific achievement.”
Again, Flash blinked.
“I’m writing the holy scripts right now,” Twilight continued. “I want to get just the right words to get the message across, so I’ve been up for some time. Hey, what are you doing up so late anyway, Flash?”
“I woke up an hour and a half ago, Twilight. It’s a quarter past nine in the morning.”
“It is?” said Twilight obliviously, raising her eyebrows. “Wow, another all-nighter. No wonder I’m so hungry. What’s for breakfast?”
“We have Pony-Os, milk, toast, eggs and the worst coffee in the world.”
“Sounds delicious,” smiled Twilight. “Maybe I can squeeze some time in the afternoon to take a power nap and-wait, did you say it was a quarter past nine?”
“Yeah, why?”
“OMIGOSH, I’M LATE!!!” Twilight nearly screeched. Her eyes looked like they popped out of their sockets. She dashed downstairs and started running around the library, scrambling things together like a soccer mom on the first day of school.
“Late for what?” Flash Sentry called.
“I’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATE-”
“Late for WHAT?”
“I’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATEI’MLATE-”
With a flash of lavender magic, Twilight was gone.
With another flash of magic, she was standing in Sugarcube Corner. She flicked her gaze around, searching the tables. With little effort, she found what she was looking for: Her five best friends, sitting around a table.
“Morning, Twilight!” called Pinkie from across the room. “You’re late for our Sunday brunch!”
“I know,” sighed Twilight, “and I’m sorr-”
“But that’s A-okay,” the pink ball of fun interrupted. “‘Cuz my nostril got all quivery, I knew that you’ve pulled an all-nighter again, so I decided that we wouldn’t start until you came.”
“And thank Celestia that you didn’t take a minute longer,” snorted Rainbow Dash. “I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse.”
In response, everypony in the room gasped.
“Figuratively,” Dash explained.
Everypony let out a collective sigh.
Twilight walked over and sat down with an exhausted sigh. Mrs. Cake walked over and set down a plate that Twilight’s friends re-ordered for her: A cinnamon scone with chocolate icing. Mrs. Cake was just about to set down a coffee when Twilight stopped her.
“No thanks,” said the alicorn princess, “I think I’ll take a nap after this meal.”
“So, tell us darling,” said Rarity curiously as Twilight adorably munched on her scone, “what was it that you were working all night on this time?”
“Oh, *om-nom-nom* it’s a surprise,” said Twilight with her mouth full of pastry. “I’ll tell all of you *nom-nom* when the time is right.”
“Wow, Twilight,” laughed Rainbow Dash, “You’re sounding more like Celestia every day.”
Twilight paused mid-chew, processing that thought. She took a swallow, and looked Dash quizzically. “What do mean by that?”
Rainbow Dash leaned back in her seat, pursing her lips. “Uhh… well, you know… it just shows.”
“What shows?” said Twilight suspiciously.
Fluttershy spoke up. “I think it’s best if we don’t talk about it.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Girls, come on. we’re all friends here. You can tell me anything, really.”
Applejack started. “Well, sugarcube… it’s not that we don’t have faith in Celestia. Hell, Ah’m just as much of a patriot as anypony, but she… has this reputation.”
“A pattern in her behavior, if you will,” Rarity added.
Now, Twilight was confused. “A pattern? I don’t see a pattern.”
Rainbow Dash shot Twilight a look. “Really? You, of all ponies, Twilight? You don’t see it?”
“What are you all talking about?” Twilight demanded, her temper rising. “What is it that I’m not seeing?”
“I think we should avoid this topic,” Fluttershy remarked. “It’s too sensitive. You all know how much Twilight loves the princess and-”
“No, I can handle it,” Twilight insisted immediately. “If you’re all going to say something, just say it.”
The table fell silent. If these ponies had thumbs, they’d be twiddling them like no tomorrow.
Finally, Pinkie, the biggest mouth of the group, decided to crack. “She keeps secrets! Like, all the time!”
Twilight didn’t even blink. “Explain.”
“Um, whenever we have to save Equestria and everything…” began Fluttershy.
“...we don’t always get the actual details,” finished Rainbow Dash. “Like, she lies about the purpose of the mission in the first place. Major trust issues there.”
“What?!” gasped Twilight. “The princess trusts us completely. Why would she lie to us? In fact, WHEN did she lie to us? Name one good instance where she completely deceived us all.”
Fluttershy shifted uncomfortably. “Twilight, I think everypony’s just cranky. You’re cranky from a lack of sleep, the girls are cranky from eating so late; it’s all a big cranky mess. Cranky isn’t a good mood to be debating in. So, why don’t we just drop-”
Twilight didn’t even listen. “Applejack, you’re the Element of Honesty, right? Honestly tell me one occasion that Celestia lied to us.”
Applejack stared back at Twilight Sparkle for a solid minute, took a swig of her black coffee, and solemnly opened her mouth. “Day one.”
“Day one?” repeated Twilight skeptically.
“Yeah, when you first came to Ponyville,” agreed Pinkie. “Remember? It was that time when you first walked into town and I all like, *GAAASP* I mean, who can top tha-MMPH!”
Applejack removed her hoof from Pinkie’s mouth. “As Ah was sayin’, when Princess Celestia sent ya ta Ponyville, ya wanted to stop Nightmare Moon, right?”
Twilight nodded her head condidently. “Right. That’s what we did.”
“Except,” Applejack continued, “that th’ princess didn’t want ya ta prepare. She wanted ya ta organize th’ festival.”
“That’s not all!” Twilight defended. “She also wanted me to make some friends. That’s preparing, right?”
“Didja know that at th’ time, sugarcube?”
“Uhh… well, no... but that’s just one instance! A little white lie! Ponies tell little white lies all the time, right?”
“What about the time when the Crystal Empire came back?” blurted Pinkie.
“I think we should end this here,” noted Fluttershy.
“Alright, what happened then, from the twisted perspective you all seem to have today??” snapped Twilight.
“Hey, let’s not degrade to insults!” objected Fluttershy. “Erm, that is, if you don’t mind.”
“Well, Celestia just sent us there without the Elements of Harmony!” Pinkie argued. “Every single time a big, bad meanie-butt threatens Equestria, she always makes sure we pack the Elements of Harmony. But that one time, the one time the meanie-butt presents himself five minutes after we get there, she didn’t give us the Elements. I think that’s crazy, and this is coming from me!”
“Celestia is NOT crazy!” Twilight shot back. “She’s a kind, loving ruler who has everypony’s best interests in mind. I’m sure that she had a perfectly legitimate reason not to give us the Elements that one time.”
“Sooo… how come she didn’t tell nuthin’?” asked Applejack.
Twilight regretfully gulped. “There’s… a perfectly legitimate reason for that, too.” With that mental reassurance, she looked her friends in the eye. “Anyway, let’s get back to the root of this little talk: Why in the world would you say that I’m suddenly sounding more like Celestia?”
“‘Cause you’re keeping that thing that kept up all night AND made you an hour late for our Sunday brunch a secret,” said Rainbow Dash flatly.
“It’s not a secret, it’s a surprise,” said Twilight innocently. “I wanted to surprise you all when I finished it. Like Pinkie Pie’s surprise parties, you know?”
“Can’t argue with that,” Pinkie nodded, taking Twilight’s side. “My surprise parties are the best!”
Rarity let out a sigh. “I suppose everypony needs to keep a secret or two now and then. Fine Twilight, we’ll trust you with this. We know you. You wouldn’t keep anything that big from us, right?”
“Right,” nodded Twilight satisfyingly.
“So, that’s it?” muttered Fluttershy. “Everypony’s done fighting?”
“Eeyup,” said AJ, invoking somepony she knew closely in her life. “This issue is now officially dropped.”
“...For the time,” added Dash.
“Fer th’ time,” admitted the apple farmer.
Forty minutes passed. Within the time, the six Elements of Harmony relaxed, talked about their respective lives, and generally enjoyed the food Sugarcube Corner had to sell.
When those forty minutes were up, however, Flash Sentry walked through the door.
“Twilight! I’ve been looking all over for you!” exclaimed the pegasus stallion.
“Hey, who’s this guy?” wondered Rainbow Dash out loud. “He looks a little familiar.”
“Is he new in town?” Pinkie asked her lavender alicorn friend. “I’m gonna throw the best party ever!”
Twilight froze. Her memory flashed back to when she was debating with herself when to tell her friends about her new roommate. In the end (and it was a hard decision), Twilight figured since she didn’t exactly know how to explain to her friends that somepony was going to watch her every move, she was going to cross that bridge when it came. Now that the metaphorical bridge had come, she cursed her past self for not thinking of a plan.
With a few breaths, Twilight tried to relax. “He’s… uhh…”
“You must be the Elements of Harmony,” said Flash Sentry. “Honored to meet all of you. I’m Twilight’s new bodyguard, Flash Sentry.”
“Bodyguard?” Applejack said skeptically. “Twi didn’t say nuthin’ ‘bout a bodyguard.”
Sweating nervously, Twilight slapped on a nervous grin. “...Surprise?”
And that, my dear readers, is when things began to go wrong.