A Legendary Issue
(6) - Questions and Answers
Keeping their questions under lock and key for the moment, the ponies took their seats at the oaken table, with half of me sticking off to the side to make room. Rainbow Dash and Twilight looked the most disconcerted, as they were the ones unlucky enough to be forced to sit beside me. Across the table, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack fidgeted uncomfortably while Pinkie Pie vibrated in barely held excitement.
While Celestia and Luna began the lengthy process of explaining everything that she had already told me, I tried to listen in to the newcomer's thoughts (don't judge me; you'd do the same if you had my ability). Strangely, all I could hear was an eerie static reminiscent of an old television set that was switched to an unbroadcasted channel. I thought that was strange, considering when I tried the same with the princesses, there was a complete absence of noise.
Must be yet another side-effect of bearing the Elements of Harmony. How many freakin' powers did those things provide?
When all was said and explained, Celestia finished by asking, "Are there any questions regarding what your quest is?"
No pony moved.
"Are there any questions for James?"
Every pony's hoof immediately shot up. I groaned inwardly. When Celestia nodded to me, I took that to mean that I had power over picking who's question to answer first. Deciding to get the insanity out of the way first, I chose Pinkie.
"Pinkie Pie. What's your question?" Please don't let me regret this...
The pink party pony sprung like a spring up and onto the table. She leaned close enough to warrant a warning nip from Philomena, who was still perched on top of me. After taking a massive breath like she was diving underwater, she asked simply, "Do you like cake?"
What was with Pinkie and cake? Actually, scratch that: I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't understand even if she told me.
"I... uh... haven't actually eaten any cake—"
Pinkie gasped as if I had turned into a velociraptor. "You've never had cake?!"
"Not that I can remember—"
"Then as soon as all these scary-sounding Pokemon are put back where they belong, I'm going to bake you the best cake that I possibly can! That's a Pinkie Pie Promise!" Pinkie exclaimed, striking a pose and raising a foreleg into the air to make her point. "Nopony should have to go three-hundred years without tasting the scrumptious fluffiness of cake!"
What the hell was I getting myself in to?
"Alright then. That's an... admirable goal to set." An idea came to me. Were my face capable of showing any emotions other than grumpy, I would've grinned cheekily. "Be sure to include lots of tungsten: it's my favourite."
Pinkie Pie nodded, saluted, and back flipped into her corresponding spot. She didn't seem fazed in the slightest by my odd ingredient request. Shaking off whatever it was that I had just borne witness to, I picked the next questioner randomly.
"Rarity. Question?"
"Oh, yes, well... I'm positive I'm not the only one wondering this, and I don't mean to be rude—" she shot a glance to Rainbow Dash, who stuck her tongue out in response, "—but how are you cognisant?"
I raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid I don't quite follow."
Rarity coughed and cleared her throat. "Essentially, being cognisant means that you're aware of—"
"I know what it means," I interrupted. "I'm just wondering exactly what you meant by it, because if it was along the lines of how I'm perceptive of the world around me, then I could ask you the same question and I doubt that I'd receive a confident answer."
Rarity appeared to be flabbergasted; she opened and closed her mouth several times before finally finding her voice. "I—I apologise for not being clear enough. By asking how you're cognisant, I meant how you're... well, alive."
Ah. That made a lot more sense.
"What, never spoken with a floating hunk of metal before?" I asked sarcastically. "In all serious though, even I'm not sure how my body works. For all intents and purposes, I shouldn't be alive, but the fact that I'm here discussing it shows that I am very much animate. Even though I communicate with my mind and don't breathe, I do have a mouth and I do eat.
"Does that answer your question?"
Rarity swallowed and nodded.
"Good."
I noticed that Applejack and Fluttershy had put their hooves down; evidently, I had answered their questions at some point. Between the two hooves still held in the air, Twilight seemed the most desperate to have her question answered. She was stretching her right foreleg as high as it could go into air while supporting it with her left foreleg, like an elementary school student trying to get called on by the teacher.
I sighed. "Yes, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash harrumphed and put her hoof down.
"If both you and the creatures causing havoc are Pokemon, and you know—roughly—who they are, then can't you just ask them to leave?" she asked. "Or is there something I'm missing?"
I snorted. "I don't know if it works the same the way in Equestria, Twilight, but going up to someone that has the ability to literally turn you and everything you love into a pancake and asking them to politely stop what they're doing won't do your life-span any good."
Twilight coughed in surprise. "'Literally turn you into a pancake?' Just what in Tartarus are we dealing with here?!"
"From Princess Luna's descriptions, it seems to me like we're dealing with Legendary Pokemon, which happen to be the best of the best—or rather, the worst of the worst, considering we have to either sweet talk them into leaving or pummel them into submission," I said wryly. "They're called 'Legendaries' for good reason."
"Then how are we going to win?" Twilight asked in a quiet voice.
"The odds aren't all against us," I began, trying to instil some confidence. "I have some old friends that can help us turn the tide of battle, as well as a few wild cards that could either help or hinder, depending on their mood. That's not even taking into account that not all the Legendaries mean harm; I'm certain that some of them are just as, if not more so, eager as us to have them sent home. I can think of a few that might even help us."
"How can you know?"
"I just do."
"That doesn't make any sense!"
I laughed. "I'm a telepathic, levitating hunk of metal with the processing power of a supercomputer from another world. I've lived in the past, altered the present, and seen the future. Your argument is invalid."