Main Characters: TWP, The Doctor (10)
Cameos: None
Original Write Date: October 16, 2011
It is a dark night in Ponyville. An odd whooshing sound fills a back alley, and a blue box materializes out of nowhere. A light brown pony steps out and drags himself to a nearby door. He trudges in, goes up a set of stairs and sits down at a table.
‘I could really use a cup of tea.’
A cup of tea slides up to him almost instantly.
‘I put a pot on as soon as I saw you dropping Derpy off across town.’
‘Thanks, mate.’
The Wandering Physicist sits opposite The Doctor. Both have a cup of tea.
‘How have things been, Theta?’
The Doctor sighs. ‘I am just getting in a lot of trouble.’
‘Cybers?’
‘Worse.’
‘Daleks?’
‘Worse.’
‘Ah. Derpy. She is an enigmatic one. The brains of Twilight. The randomness of Pinkie. The caring of Fluttershy. Like some sort of Elements Voltron.’
‘Interesting how you go straight to the Elements.’
‘They’re some of my best customers.’
‘I’ve seen the way Twilight looks at you. She wants what you’re selling.’
‘I can say the same to you about how Derpy speaks of you.’
‘Heh, heh. Don’t be daft.’
‘A mysterious pony in a brown overcoat that can whisk you through time and space. What is not to love?’
‘Is the overcoat a bit much?’
‘At least it is not as pompous as a fez.’
‘I agree with you there.’
The two take a drink of their tea.
‘That Selene lady likes you as well.’
The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Ugh. Tell me about it.’
‘All right. I will. She comes in here at least once a week and makes googly eyes at you while pretending to help you with your shop.’
‘You don’t have to take everything I say literally.’
‘Yes, and The Doctor never lies.’
‘At least it seems you haven’t figured out who she really is.’
The Doctor thinks. ‘You know. She does seem familiar. Is she River in disguise?’
‘Nope.’
‘Don’t tell me she is Romana.’
‘Dear Sagan, no. You know how she was back at the academy. Come on. Think. What does she look like?’
‘Let’s see... Dark blue body and light blue hair.’
‘Right. Go on.’
‘A pair of wings...’
‘Uh huh. What else? Think out of the corner of your eye.’
The Doctor closes his eyes to think. ‘There is the moon cutie mark and... a large h.... No! It can’t be.’
‘Yep.’
‘And I thought you were playing with fire leading Twilight along.’
‘At least I am seeing someone closer to my own age.’
‘Please, I am closer to her age than you are.’
‘Just because I don’t travel all over the universe for centuries at a time, doesn’t mean I haven’t seen my share of amazing things.’
‘Right. All of your video adventures. Beat any good bosses lately?’
‘Hey! I have seen the world. I still have my Type 90.’
‘Well, aren’t you fancy? Where were you during the war?’
‘Dude! Did you see the Wii? It has a controller that makes your movements happen in game! I had to be first in line! ... Twice!’
The Doctor facehoofs and shakes his head. ‘Now I know why you tried touching the Untempered Schism. You’re one of the ones that went completely bonkers.’
The Wandering Physicist drinks his tea. ‘That wasn’t why.’
‘Oh?’
‘Ever wonder about the name I chose?’
‘Which? You have a different one depending who you ask.’
‘What profession do you know that has the undying urge to try new things? To experiment and learn new things? To want to touch two bare wires to the tongue to see if they carry a live current?’
The Doctor thinks. ‘That name really fits now that you say it.’ Pauses. ‘Also, the Schism would have scattered your atoms across time and space.’
‘Wouldn’t that be cool?’
‘No. No, it wouldn’t.’
‘Come on. Haven’t you ever just wanted to reach out and touch it? Know what it feels like, what is smells like, what it tastes like?’
‘I think I was right. You are completely bonkers.’
‘I never said I wasn’t.’
The pair drink their tea. The Wandering Physicist gets up and gets a box of biscuits. He also refills their tea.
‘How’s the hunt for a companion going?’ The Doctor asks.
‘I am looking for an assistant, not a companion.’
‘Assistant, companion, partner. Whatever.’
‘Anyway, the “hunt” is okay. I’ll be meeting with the applicants starting tomorrow.’ He sips his tea. ‘Most just wanted to hang out and play games. I barely got a dozen good applicants, and two of them are only because they would kill me otherwise.’
The Doctor laughs. ‘I don’t think that is one disaster even I can save you from.’
‘I think I have found a way to let them down easy without using up too many regenerations.’
‘Best of luck, mate.’
‘Hopefully, one will let me look like you so I can steal Derpy...’
‘Hey! Derpy is my companion! No stealies!’
‘I’ll give you Luna.’
The Doctor raises a hoof in argument, then stops. ‘Hmm. I’ll think about it.’
‘So, where did you just get back from?’
‘A wonderful planet! Mountains made of pure gemstones, singing trees, skies that light up all colors throughout the day... giant robotic spiders that spit fire controlled by a madman that wanted to turn the planet’s inhabitants into his personal army of mindless slaves.’
‘Sounds nice.’
‘It was once your face was safe from being eaten off by a horde of angry villagers.’
‘Naturally.’
The pair finish off their tea. The doctor gets up.
‘Well, I should be heading out. I want to get some rest before figuring out my next adventure.’
The Wandering Physicist thinks. ‘What is it that you do around town? I haven’t quite figured it out.’
‘I pose as a clockmaker. Or maybe I am a handyman. I could possibly be the town doctor since most ponies you ever see are nurses. Who really knows.’
The Wandering Physicist glares. ‘Want a job at a video game shop? We have flexible hours.’
‘I’ll have to pass.’
The pair head to the door. The Doctor bows and takes his leave. The Wandering Physicist starts cleaning up. The odd whooshing sound returns and goes away. The Wandering Physicist stretches and heads to bed.
