Fire, smoke, and ash -- Ponyville was ablaze, as was all of Equestria.
A mare coughed as she stumbled her way about the smoldering ruins. How had it come to this? Where did things go so wrong?
She was standing outside the Ponyville schoolhouse. All was silent save for the crackling flames and the mournful weeping of a second mare. The first mare approached the second who was bent over clutching a tiny charred body.
"I failed them," the second mare sobbed weakly, "I failed them all. I should have been ready, should have been better prepared."
"It… wasn't your fault," the first mare tried to reassure her, even though the words felt hollow, "We all tried our best."
"Our best wasn't good enough."
"Then we'll just have to try again. Keep fighting for sake of whatever is left and for those we hold most dear."
The second mare let out a fresh new wail of misery, "You don't get it, there's nothing left… I failed them, failed everypony, and most of all I failed you!"
"Failed… me?"
At first she was confused… no, not confused, she just didn't want to believe it, wanted desperately to turn away, to deny the truth, but it was too late. Though blackened and scorched the still body Cheerilee held was undeniable familiar. All was silent, and yet the memory of the filly's voice stabbed at Ditzy's heart.
–Momma–
Beneath the ashy soot she could still make out a few stray tufts of blond mane…
–Momma–
…as well as the rementats of a once pale lilac coat…
–Momma–
…and the broken stub of a tiny horn.
–Momma–
"No… no, no, no!"
–Momma–
Ditzy sat up like a bolt, breathing in and out with heavy labored breaths, but to her continued alarm the nightmare refused to leave her ears.
"Momma!"
The voice of her daughter called out to her once more, but this time it was followed by the touch of small hoof. Startled, the pegasus pulled away in a flurry of flapping wings, inadvertently flinging herself over the other side of the bed and onto the floor below. Her head spinning, Ditzy struggled to bring her eyes into focus, only to find a worried face towering over her from the bed above.
"Are you okay, Momma?" asked Dinky.
Ditzy rolled over slowly, struggling to untangle her limbs from the blankets. At first she was confused by the unfamiliar room she'd woken in. Where were they? As she looked around the room full of haphazardly stacked books, however, and as the hazy fog of sleep lifted, Ditzy remember the whole trading places exercise and that she'd spent the previous night at Cheerilee's.
"It's… nothing," Ditzy murmured with lingering uncertainty, "Just a bad dream is all, my little muffin. What are you doing here?"
Dinky smiled back at her mother, though her worried eyes lingered a fleeting moment longer, "Miss Cheerilee said you were supposed to come back home for breakfast, but when you didn't show up we decided to come meet you instead. Are you sure you're okay, mama? You look really tired… kind of like Miss Cheerilee last night when she kept dozing off while trying to read me a bedtime story."
"I…" Ditzy hestated, chewing ever so briefly at the back of her lip. She never liked hiding things form her daughter, yet Ditzy found herself hesitant to admitted the whole truth for fear of unduly worry the young filly. "I suppose we all must have just worn ourselves out with all that intensive hero training over the weekend is all. Plus I had to stay up extra late cleaning Miss Cheerilee's fish tanks for her."
That much was true at least, even if it wasn't the whole reason Ditzy had stayed up so late into the night. Out of the corner of one eye she spied Cheerilee's notebook on worst case scenarios she'd been reading before sleep must have finally overcome her. As she stood up, Ditzy casually pushed it under Cheerilee's bed with her back hoof, hoping Dinky wouldn't notice.
Fortunately the filly seemed to have become distracted and was now looking around the rest of the room. "Wow… Miss Cheerilee sure has a lot of books. What are they all about?"
As the filly reached a hoof out to one of the myriad stacks of books and papers to her naive curiosity, Ditzy felt a protective need to stop her daughter from being inadvertently exposed to any of the teacher's grim research.
"No!"
She hadn't meant to yell and as Dinky turned around in confusion Ditzy immediately regretted it, but what excuse could she make. "It's, umm... rude to pry into another pony's privacy without permission," the hypocrisy of the admonishment made Ditzy feel sick to her stomach, but had the desired effect regardless.
"Sorry, momma."
"Never you mind, Dinky. Come on now, we shouldn't keep miss Cheerilee waiting any longer."
If Cheerilee really had been so tired she'd barely been able to stay awake last night, there was little immediate indication this morning. Downstairs the mare seemed to be quite actively busying herself as she cheerfully skipped from one fish tank to another, feeding the occupants as she listed off each of them by their assorted alphanumeric names.
"There you go, Mortimer-Seven, eat up. No shoving, Helen-Thirteen, there's plenty of food for everyfish. Up and at'em Gerold-Two, you old lazy bones."
Ditzy couldn't help but be almost stunned at the contrast. Could this mare who was currently so playfully conversing with her dozens of pet fish really be the same mare who seemed to be so meticulously obsessed with researching myths and monsters, planning dozens upon dozens of contingencies around them? Then again, Cheerilee could be somewhat of a contradictory enigma like that.
When Ditzy had first met the mare she hadn't thought Cheerilee anything more than an ordinary kindhearted school teacher, maybe a bit whimsically eccentric at times, but otherwise entirely unassuming outside of her relentless devotion to the education of young fillies and colts… seemingly almost to the exclusion of any other social activity. Not that Ditzy ever pried, but working out of the post office she had always been well aware that cheerilee got very little mail outside a variety of academic magazines and book club subscriptions.
Ever since they'd become bearers to the Elements of Harmony, however, a different side of Cheerilee had become increasingly apparent as the mare continued to reveal one surprisingly remarkable –and often dubiously suspicious– skill after another. Ditzy still wasn't entirely sure how to reconcile the apparent dichotomy, though especially at times like today it did make her wonder…
Just who is the real Cheerilee?
"Good morning, Ditzy!" Cheerilee declared with wide-eyed smiling enthusiasm, "It looks like all my little fishies are nice and happy. Sorry again for saddling you with all that cleaning last night, but you seem to have handled it just fine."
Ditzy nodded back, slowly, one lazy eye drifting to a copy of War of the Pillars: The Prophet’s March sitting atop the coffee table in the middle of the room. Of course it had also been there last night while she was cleaning, but it wasn't until after seeing the rest of Cheerilee's veritable library of similar books in her bedroom that Ditzy understood the full significance, and beggin answers to that lingering question…
Was it anything to be concerned about, and if so, how to broach the subject?
As Ditzy contemplated that, Dinky bounded over to Cheerilee, "Can I help feed any of your fish, Miss Cheerilee?"
"Oh, I'm afraid I've already just finished feeding them all, but don't frown, deary. If you like, I could still introduce them to you while giving you quick lesson in marine biology."
Dinky's face lit up as she nodded eagerly. Ditzy hated to disappoint her daughter, but… "Actually, Cheerilee, I'd really like to talk to you, maybe in the kitchen while we make breakfast?"
There was a brief pause of consideration, but Cheerilee hardly missed a beat before agreeing, "Of course. Dinky, why don't you get the aquatic encyclopedia off the bookshelf over there and see how many species you can match while your mother and I are busy."
The young filly nodded before cantering over to the bookshelf, as the two adult mares left the room.
Much like the rest of the house, Cheerilee's kitchen was a bit of a mess, a stack of days old dirty dishes having piled up in the sink. Again, it was something Ditzy had noticed the previous night without much thought of the implication until now.
Closing the door behind them Cheerilee turned as her smile faltered, "So, what is it you wanted to talk about that you didn't want Dinky overhearing."
Ditzy winced, folding her ears back. Had she really been that transparent?
"Uhh…" she stammered, "It's not quite like that. It's just that I sort of couldn't help noticing the rather extensive… collection you've accumulated upstairs. I almost couldn't manage to find any free space to sleep," then pausing awkwardly to scratched the back of her mane, Ditzy tried to affect a nervous smile while adding, "I guess fish aren't your only hobby?"
If Cheerilee noticed her friend's discomfort, she chose not to comment directly, instead stepping around to the other side of the small kitchen as she began casually searching the contents of her own fridge.
"Hmm… I suppose I should have warned you about that," Cheerilee finally said as if nothing more than a belated afterthought, "I guess I have been rather preoccupied with my research as of late and let my normal house chores slip by the wayside. Just one more reason I was hesitant to force you to sleep over last night, but you seem to have managed."
Even as Cheerilee quitely set a carton of eggs on the counter as if there was nothing left to say, however, Ditzy was unable to dismiss a nagging feeling, not all that dissimilar to the same kind of mom sense that she relied on to know when something was troubling Dinky.
"Is that really all there is too it? You weren't trying to hide anything from me, were you?"
Cheerilee frowned, pausing in her search for a clean pan, "It's not like that at all. It's just that I… wouldn't want to worry you, or any of our other friends. All I'm doing is just trying to stay prepared."
"Prepared?" Ditzy repeated with a slow blink. "Cheerilee… from what I saw you're doing a lot more than just staying prepared."
Cheerilee took a deep breath and sighed, "Which is exactly the kind of response I was afraid you might have, but you're overreacting. It's not like I'm doing anything dangerous. I’ve just been researching the histories of old heroes and rulers, armies and famous battles, and of course piecing together the real history of Corona and how she fell from grace. I’ve been distilling all of it down to help formulate a training regimen that will keep us all on toes, so that whatever Corona or any other villain might be planning next, we'll be ready for it!"
Ditzy seized upon that. "Is that what all of those contingency plans are? Cheerilee…do you really think it could get that bad? Don’t you think you’re getting carried away here?"
"Better safe than sorry." Cheerilee replied in a distractedly sing song manner as she kept busying herself with preparing breakfast, but Ditzy thought she noticed a nervous flick in her friend’s tail.
"Cheerilee, I had nightmares just reading a hoof-full of your notes, but from the looks of things upstairs you've been writing hundreds. How have you not been freaking out?"
"I don’t have time to waste on idle dreaming right now, Ditzy. I have to figure out what the next step for our training is."
Motherly instincts kicked into high gear. Now that Cheerilee had brought it up, Ditzy could clearly see the hints. There were bags under her eyes while her coat, mane, and tail all looked a bit frayed and matted in places. There was an undeniably weariness in her friend's posture, and yet at the same time also Cheerilee seemed almost… twitchy.
"Cheerilee?" Ditzy pressed as she bore down on her friend, "Have you been getting enough sleep? I noticed you moved the coffee maker upstairs next to your desk, and your collection of empty brew tins nearly rivals the rest of the mess up their."
But Cheerilee brushed it off with a wave of her hoof, "Please, I know my own limits better than that, Ditzy… this has been nothing compared to the extreme all-nighters I used to pull back in college. Heck, one time, while studying for finals my old roommate and I stayed up for nearly a week straight without so much as a nap."
"Cheerilee…!"
"Stop being so much of a mom," Cheerilee retorted in a defensive tone that to Ditzy's ear almost sounded like a flashback to how she'd shrug off the concerns of her own mother as a teenager, "I already put up with enough incessant nagging from my actual one, thank you very much. The last thing I need is somepony else telling me to just relax, take it easy, and finally settle down with some nice stallion… I mean, it's not like I wouldn't want to, but Ponyville isn't exactly the dating capitol of Equestria either, now is it… not that I have to tell you. I'm sure you know just how hard it is first-hoof, am I right, girlfriend?"
"I wouldn't know," Ditzy deadpanned, "Ever since Dinky was born, I've been a bit too preoccupied trying to be the best mother I can to worry about finding mister right. This isn't really about that though, so stop deflecting already."
"I'm not deflecting, I'm changing the subject."
"Sounds more like rambling, if anything… you're usually so much more composed than this, Cheerilee. That's why I'm worried."
"I'm just distracted is all, trying to come up with ways to improve our training regimen."
"Cheerilee, we aren't soldiers and you aren't some general… you're a schoolteacher, maybe it's time to remember that and start acting like yourself again?"
"That’s it!" Cheerilee shouted, whirling about and grabbing the sides of Ditzy’s face. "The answer’s been in front of my muzzle this whole time! You're right, I’m a teacher and it's high time I stop trying to be somepony I'm not and start focusing on my strengths!"
Ditzy grimaced as she eyed her friend a tad nervously and unsure what to make of the Cheerilee's manic excitement, but in the interest of giving her benefit of the doubt, "Umm… happy to help, I guess."
"Help… don't be so modest, Ditzy, you're a lifesaver!"
Later that day.
Carrot Top loved the smell of freshly cut vegetables. Lettuce, cucumbers, a bit of garlic, some olives, a sprinkling of ginger dressing, some tulip petals, and of course her on home grown namesake. With her salad tossed and ready, she finished her meal preparations by filling a tall glass of water before sitting down.
Unexpected, however, she was interrupted by a knock at her front door. She wasn't expecting company, but maybe one of her friends decided to drop by for an impromptu visit — most likely Trixie, who no doubt would have a very convincing excuse for why she just so happened to be incidentally in the area and totally wasn't trying to mooch an easy meal. Not that Carrot Top minded… for the most part.
Besides, it would give her a chance to lecture Trixie on the importance of proper mane and coat care. Even now the traumatic memories of discovering her friend's all-in-one shampoo made Carrot Top shudder.
The knock repeated and Carrot Top called out, "Coming!"
Instead of Trixie, however, she was greeted by Cheerilee, although it was a rather unusual greeting.
"Pop quiz!"
Carrot Top jumped in alarm at Cheerilee's sudden exclamation. "Uhh… wha…?"
"Your fields are on fire, what do you do?"
The words were delivered in such sharp and manic succession that Carrot Top's brain seemed to shut down momentarily in a confused attempt to process them all at once.
"No time to waste, girl," Cheerilee said just ever so slightly slower this time "Your fields… on fire… what—"
"Oh my gosh!" the gears finally clicking into place, "Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!"
Frantically chanting as she ran outside without a second thought, Carrot Top rushed around the side of her house. Just as she reached down to grab a hose in her mouth she was interrupted by Cheerilee.
"That's no hose! It's a salamander's tail and now you're surrounded on all sides by no less than six of Corona's scaley minions."
"I… huh… but…" Carrot Top flustered as her eyes darted about in confusion. She didn't see any salamanders, and somewhere in the back of her mind she realized she didn't smell any smoke from the fire Cheerilee had previously mentioned either. In the midst of her panic, however, Carrot Top could hardly even manage to think straight.
What if maybe she was surrounded?
She'd seen Trixie turn invisible dozens of times, but salamanders couldn't cast such spells… or could they? Maybe they didn't need to, Corona could probably do it for them, or maybe get Zecora to brew up a potion with similar effects, or maybe the mad alicorn had acquired new allies… and why for moon's sake was Cheerilee just standing there tapping a hoof rather than doing anything?
Still hesitating to move, lest her stillness was the only reason her unseen attackers hadn't done anything yet, Carrot Top whispered meekly, "…help…"
"Help?" Cheerilee repeated as Carrot Top tried her best to nod without moving. "There's no pony here to help you, Carrot Top. You're all alone and have to figure things out for yourself. Quickly too, one of the Salamanders to your left is moving in to pounce!"
Carrot topped *eeped* as she jumped sideways.
"Good, but now you're right between the two who were on your right as they both turn and lunge at you in a pincer attack!"
Jumping again Carrot Top bucked out behind her while also thrashing furiously with her front hooves in a vain attempt at hitting something, anything. Her hooves found only empty air, however, and as gravity reasserted itself Carrot Top soon found herself spitting out a mouth full of dirt after face planting into the ground.
"Not bad. I'm sure that would have worked much better if there'd been any actual salamanders to hit."
"I… wait…" Carrot Top sputtered, "I don't get it. Cheerilee, are you feeling alright?"
"Me? I'm fine, just fine, everything's fine," but despite her friend's overly cheerful declaration, Carrot Top wasn't very reassured. Cheerilee’s face was contorted into a stiff smile as she stared unblinkingly, her left ear giving an occasional twitch. "Enough about me though, let's get back to your test."
"Test?"
"Exactly!"
"So there aren't actually any invisible salamanders then?"
"Invisible, you say?" Cheerilee replied with pervasive eagerness, "That's a good idea. Let's keep rolling with that."
The next day.
"Sweetie, I'm home!" Shouted Lyra over the familiar chime from the bell over the Confectionerium's front door. BonBon was nowhere in sight, however, so Lyra just shrugged and went to check the kitchen.
Still no BonBon, but the stove was warm and various ingredients lay strewn about, so she couldn't be far. Lyra briefly considered sneaking a taste of whatever her marefriend was making.
–Don't you dare, missy! You'll spoil your dinner!–
"Gee, alright," Lyra replied to BonBon's imaginary voice as she added in a mutter, "Not even here and she still manages to nag me."
Setting her gatsby's cap full of bits from an afternoon spent busking in the park on the table, Lyra saw a note pinned down by a heavy knife that read, Come upstairs, and make sure you're alone.
Lyra twisted the corner of her mouth in contemplation. This could only mean one of two things, either she was in very deep trouble or she and BonBon were about to have a whole lot of fun… or maybe a bit of both, she considered with a suggestive waggle of her brow. Fortune favors the bold, they say, and Lyra was pretty sure she hadn't done anything wrong lately… or at least nothing BonBon could actually pin on her, so she friskily bounced her way up stairs with a wide grin.
Opening the door she found her marefriend, and tied down to the bed no less — a bit kinky for Tuesdays, but Lyra didn't mind. She'd been dying to maybe try out a few of the idea's she'd gotten from that secret stash of trashy romance novels she'd found under Raindrops' bed the other night, and now seemed as good a time as any.
"Ooh… look who's been a naughty mare."
"Hi there, Lyra," BonBon droned with unusually poor acting, even for her. "So glad you could finally join us."
"Us?"
Just then the bedroom door slammed behind her and as Lyra swung about she found herself face to face with… Cheerilee?
"Pop Quiz!"
Lyra grimaced uncertainly as she looked from her seemingly overeager friend, to BonBon, and back again. "Umm…did I miss something? Didn't we all agree a long time ago that a threesome would just be too weird?"
"Lyra!" Bonbon scolded, "Get your head out of the gutter and just finish this silly test already."
"Test? What test? I don't get it. Unless you've been faking it all these months, my technique can't be that bad."
"Not that kind of test!" BonBon all but hissed in increasingly annoyed exasperation.
Cheerilee interceded to explain, "It's a roleplaying exercise! Since we never know when, where, or how Corona or any other villain might attack, I figured we all needed an extra special training regimen to test our ingenuity and problem solving skills under unexpected circumstances."
Lyra blinked once, before a cocky grin edged its way across her lips. "So, it's like a game then? Me versus you with the fair lady BonBon as the prize."
BonBon rolled her eyes, "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"Can't help it, sweetie, comes with being a heroic champion of virtue. Now, you just sit tight—"
"Like I have a choice…"
"Don't be a party pooper, BonBon," Lyra replied, still smiling as she began channeling a spell through her glowing horn. "It's not every day you get to personally bare witness to Lyra Heartstrings, Knight of Loyalty, in action!"
In a radiant flash of golden light, Lyra summoned here musical instrument and with a spinning flourish snatched it out of the air, strumming out a dramatic chord before striking what was presumably supposed to be some kind of heroic pose.
BonBon sighed, voice dripping with sarcasm, "Great, I can hardly wait."
Early the next morning.
"Pop Quiz!"
"No." Raindrops deadpanned as she kept flying by with a rain cloud that was due over the east orchard at Sweet Apple Acres.
…
Later.
"Pop Quiz!"
"No." Raindrops reiterated once more as she bucked apart one of a dozen stray clouds which had drifted into Ponyville Park from the Everfree Forest.
…
And yet later still.
"Pop Quiz!"
"No." Raindrops groaned with persistent disinterest as she put three more loaves of bread in her shopping cart.
…
Finally, safe at home.
"Snails, dinner time." Raindrops said as she knocked on her brother's bedroom door. When the expected reply never came, Raindrops knocked again. "Come on, bro. Mom made your favorite casserole, don't want it getting cold."
Still no reply, maybe he'd fallen asleep. Cracking the door open slowly, Raindrops peered in with caution, not wanting a repeat of last week's incident with the giant earwig. Instead she only found her brother's best friend, Snips, sitting on the bed. That wasn't so strange, but the slightly oversized pinstripe-jacket and matching wide-brimmed fedora the pudgy young colt was wearing were a bit odd regardless.
"Snips, what are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be getting back home to your own family for dinner?"
"I'm not Snips, toots, I'm umm… Snipscowsky McGee." he declared in a ridiculously fake Manehattan accent as he absently flipped a silver bit with one hoof. Turns out he should have probably been paying more attention though as he completely fumbled catching it. The errant coin bounced off the side of his hoof, rolled over the edge of the bed, and fell through a crack between two floorboards.
"Aww, shoot," the colt whined, "That was the last of my allowance, and I was gonna… err umm… I mean, you saw nothin', toots! This just means the ransom goes up."
Raindrops let out an agitated sigh, not really caring what nonsense her annoying little brother and his even more annoying friend were playing at. Although if the latter called her toots just one more time… forcing a smile, Raindrops banished any inappropriately violent thoughts. "Enough games, Snips. Where's Snails?"
"Oh, this ain't no game, toots."
There was a crack as Raindrops stamped her hoof, but her death glare was interrupted when the sound caused a stray centipede to crawl out from between the floorboards and start working it's way up her leg.
Snips had briefly hesitated for fear of the pegasus's infamous temper, but as Raindrops distractedly worked to shake the creepy crawler off her limb, he seemed to regain a semblance of bravado. "Heh… serves you right, toots. Now you and me, we's gonna talk about that there brother o' yours. See me and the boys needs you to do us a favor, that is unless you's want us feeding ol' shellbutt to his own pets."
Having at length extricated herself from one annoying little pest, Raindrops redirected her attention to the other, "Cheerilee put you up to this, didn't she?"
"I'm helping too," she heard Snails' muffled voice call out from the closet.
"Aww… common, Snails," moaned Snips, breaking character, "You're supposed to be kidnapped and locked away in my secret mobster hideout."
"Oops… sorry. Sis, please forget you heard me say anything."
"That's right, toots." Snips accerted, again in his painfully forced attempt at a Manehatten accent, "You didn't hear nothin, kapeesh?"
"Quiche… where? Snips, I'm getting hungry. Maybe we should do this later."
"No way! My parents would never let me come back over after dinner on a school night. We'd have to wait until tomorrow, but Miss Cheerilee said we had to turn in our reports on how your sister did on her test first thing in the morning if we want the full extra credit."
"Is that what all this is about?" Raindrops interrupted, ignoring Snips as she went over to open her brother's closet, finding the young colt with a rolled up blanket knotted halphasadly around him, "Look, Snails, you know mom and dad don't mind you got that one D on your last report card."
"Maybe his parents don't care," Snips added in a huff from behind her, "But mine do,"
"That's because you got more than one D, and an F too." Snails added matter of factly.
"Hey, stop embarrassing me in front of your ister'say. You're still supposed to be kidnapped anyway, remember?"
"Oh, right… nevermind!"
Meanwhile, Raindrops was rubbing the bridge of her snout with one hoof in a vain attempt at massaging away her rapidly mounting desire to yell at the top of her lungs until Snips ran scurrying all the way home in fright. "Look, I used to get my fare share of bad grades too when I was your age, but you'd be better off just studying harder for next time rather than playing these silly games."
"Aww… but studying's no fun," moned the colt despondently, "And I need to get my grades up by the end of the week or dad's gonna cut my allowance in half."
"Sorry, kiddo, but that's just the breaks sometime. I know school might seem boring, but all that studying will pay off in the end."
"I guess you're right… but," Snips seemed to perk up as he got a new idea, "Hey, what about you needing to study too though?"
"Huh… I don't follow?"
"Well, Miss Cheerilee said this was all supposed to be a pop quiz, you know, to make sure you're studying hard with all your hero training."
"Oh, no you don't. That is completely different."
"Really… how?"
"Yeah, sis, how?"
"Be quiet, Snails!" Raindrops snapped at her brother's unhelpful helpfulness before kicking the closet door shut with a back hoof, "You're still kidnapped," then facing the other obnoxious little colt, "Well, you see it's like… when you're grown up… and, well… oh, fine. Let's just get this over with."
"Ha!" Snips declared triumphantly as he slipped back into his supposed gangster accent, "I knew's you'd come around eventually, toots."
"Push it with that toots crud one more time and I'll drop you out the window."
"Hey, I'm the one calling the shots around here, toot—" but Raindrops' stern expression bore no reproach, and Snips hastily corrected with an oddible gulp, "Err, umm… that is Miss Raindrops, ma'am."
"Better. Where is Cheerilee anyway though?"
"I think she said she was heading over to Trixie's to give her a test too," said Snails from inside his closet.
"Aww, man," Snips complained, "I wish we could be there instead. I bet there'd be all kinds of cool explosions and smoke and stuff!"
Earlier, across town.
Trixie flipped a page in the stack of forms on her desk as she continued engrossing herself in her official duties as representative of Luna's Night Court.
"Hmm… Pinkie Pie’s asking for an exemption on the whipped cream sales tax, again."
"You know, Trixie," said Pokey Pierce, her secretary, "As much as I appreciate seeing you hard at work for a change, I really do think there might be more pressing problems at hoof. Like perhaps getting me down?"
The dull blue-coated and white-maned unicorn stallion was currently hanging upside down, suspended by a rope hooked to the ceiling. Sitting on the floor next to him was Cheerilee, tapping a hoof impatiently.
"Sorry, Pokey, but as I already said, official Night Court policy is to never negotiate with terrorists. As much as it pains me to see you suffer like this, my hooves are tied. But fear not, your sacrifice shan't be in vain. I'll petition the town council myself to have a monument erected to you in memoriam."
"Okay, you can cut it out with the false melodrama. My own hooves are tied rather more literally at the moment and these ropes are starting to chafe."
"I'm surprised, Pokey, weren't you the one who was complaining just the other day about what a slavedriver I am, about how working for me you never have time to just hangout anymore. I thought you might be more gracious for this time off."
Before Pokey could retort, Cheerilee interrupted the two with a cough. "You know Trixie, if you don't start taking this test more seriously I'm going to have to take… drastic measures."
Pokey's eyes went wide, the mare's tone was just so maliciously relaxed. He hadn't been this scared of a teacher since detention as foal. "Please, Trixie, I think she means it!"
"That's nice. Tell you what, I'll give you the rest of the day off with paid leave so that you and your girlfriend can run along and play."
"Girlfriend, am I… okay, if that's the way you want to play this game, fine." There was a thud as Cheerilee cut the end of rope Pokey was hanging from, dropping the otherwise still bound and helpless stallion to the ground. "No sense boring your boss with all the gory details though. Come along, loverboy, you and me have a date."
As Cheerilee dragged him away and up the stairs, Pokey let out a desperate final plea, "Trixie… please! Help… Trixie!"
Trixie just rolled her eyes as she mutter "Now who's being melodramatic?" and then with a sigh she refocused her attention back on her paperwork. It might have been dreadfully boring, but at least she could hold onto her own pride for having not given into whatever ridiculous game Cheerilee was playing at.
…
Some time later Trixie's office door opened and Cheerilee walked back in, this time with a completely unbound Pokey by her side. Smiling to herself with triumphant glee, Trixie didn't even bother giving the the pair so much as a token glance now that they'd finally given up the pointless ruse.
"So, I trust the two of you had a good time then, slacking off at my expense?"
"We most certainly did…" replied Pokey, his voice drifting off into an unusually satisfied sigh as he spoke.
Confused, Trixie finally looked up from her desk to see that her assistant's face seemed to display nothing except for vacantly relaxed bliss. Cheerilee was also smiling, or some mischievous approximation thereof. More unsettlingly though was the way she fluttered her eyelashes with seductive implications.
"Wait…" Trixie paused, her brain not even wanting to finish connecting the dots, "The two of you… no… you wouldn't… you couldn't!"
"But we did," Cheerilee affirmed, "Upstairs and in your bed too, no less."
"In my…" Trixie couldn't even process those words, "Ha, ha… very funny. You almost had me fooled, but I know better. Pokey would never do anything like that, he's not even into—"
"What can I say," Pokey interrupted flatly, as if his mind were clearly still someplace else, "A talented mare like Miss Cheerilee has a way of bringing any stallion around to new points of view."
Trixie looked sharply from one traitorous pony to the other, before practically hissing, "Out, both of you, now!"
Several days and many more pop quizes later, four mares gathered under cover of noon, when most ponies retreated into their homes to observe the traditional superstition of avoiding Corona's gaze, but more importantly when a certain school teacher would be preoccupied tending to her class. Taking respite themselves at Ponyville's local tavern/dinner, Berry's Punch Bowl, where ice cold drinks could soothe the midday heat, but did little to do the same for tempers.
"She’s a menace! A monster! Out of control! She and Pokey… they…" Trixie shuddered, "Did… things in my bed!"
"No they didn’t," Raindrops deadpanned.
"But… the eye batting, and the distant looks, and—"
"No."
"You don't know, you weren't there. The lingering scent of their vile deeds still burns in my nostrils."
"No, that would be the twenty gallons of bleach you bought from Barnyard Bargains to clean up an imaginary mess."
"I should have saved the last gallon to drink and cleanse my poor innocent mind of all those disgusting thoughts."
"Now you're just being melodramatic."
"Oh, hush! I should never have expected you to be sympathetic to my plight, not after the kind of smut Lyra told me you read."
Raindrops let out a single aggravated snort, "Yeah, so much for trust exercises. If Cheerille hadn't gotten to Lyra first I'd almost have half a mind to…"
The four gathered mares all paused silently to stare in the direction of the table's empty fifth seat, until at length Carrot Top broke the silence.
"You really shouldn't be so hard on her. It's not like Lyra went around blabbing it to the whole town. We're your friends, we'll keep your secrets."
"She's right," added Ditzy, "And it's nothing to be ashamed of either. I used to read my own fair share of those kind of books too."
"Et tu, Ditzé?" Trixie said in exaggerated shock, "Is there no decency left in this cruel world? And you're a mother, no less!"
"Not always. It was before Dinky was born, before I even met…" Ditzy trailed off, not seeming to want to delve any further into that memory. "Speaking of foals though, Raindrops, you really should be more careful about leaving stuff like that laying around where your brother could accidently find it. He's at an impressionable age."
"Right, because it's MY fault the obnoxious little squirt rummages around in MY room and under MY bed looking for his pets. Besides, I wouldn't worry about him being all that impressionable. Ever since Lyra's visit, Dad's been trying to give him the ol' birds and the bees talk, but Snails just keeps turning it into a tangent to talk about actual bees."
Trixie sipped down the last of her house special tea. It was a delightfully fruity mix of flavors, though regretfully non-alcoholic at this time of day due to Berry's strict only after dark policy. Still, it was probably for the best as they all needed to keep a level head if they were to concoct a solution to the problem at hoof.
"Girls, I think we're getting sidetracked. Cheerilee has got us all on edge, but we can't let her drive us to bickering amongst each other. We have to focus on our common enemy, before anyone else ends up like poor Lyra did."
Ditzy hesitantly spoke up, "I don't think that's entirely fair. Cheerilee is still our friend to, and I'm sure she means well… she couldn't have ever ment for Lyra or any of us to get hurt."
Raindrops humphed, "Easy for you to say, she hasn't gone pestering you yet, so you wouldn't know what it's like having her just randomly jump out yelling, pop quiz!"
There was a sharp *eep* as Carrot Top dove under the table and began frantically declaring, "I grab my hidden alchemy kit from a panel under the floor!"
As she began listing off various exotic ingredients in her imaginary kit, the other three mares all exchanged silent glances. Shortly a blushing Carrot Top crawled back into her seat.
"Sorry, nervous reflex."
"Hidden alchemy kit?" Raindrops asked flatly.
"Umm… in case of alchemy emergency?"
"So who are you now, Pinkie Pie?"
"Okay, I guess maybe hiding alchemy kits all over town wouldn't be very practical."
"Probably not," agreed Trixie, "Though I can't really blame you for considering it. I know there have been times when I wish I could get away with hiding secret bourbon stashes all over town, in case of bourbon emergency."
Raindrops raised an eyebrow, "Couldn't you just use that summoning charm you copied from Lyra?"
"Never teleport bourbon," interrupted Berry Punch, "Or any quality alcohol, it ruins the flavor."
Trixie nodded with smug affirmation. "A true connoisseur after my own heart."
The dark-maned and light-coated fuchsia earth mare had come bearing a fresh pitcher of tea. After refilling everypony's glass she announced, "Anyway, your pizza should be finished in five minutes. Anything else I get get you all?"
"Yeah," muttered Raindrops, "Your sister off our backs."
Berry laughed, "Cheers can be something of a maneful when she gets in one of her moods."
"But she'll get over it, right?" asked Ditzy.
"Sure thing. Could take a few weeks though," Berry answered with a shrug, "Or maybe months."
"Months!" moaned Carrot Top, "Just a few days has left my nerves frayed."
"You think this is bad, you should have seen her during her wrestling phase as a kid. She and lil' Macky dressed up as luchadores one Nightmare Night, and the next thing anypony knows Cheers is swearing she'll never remove her mask until the two of them became the next Equestrian tag-team champions of the world. Mom and dad couldn't get her to take that dirty old rag off for anything, eating, sleeping, bathing, not even for school. Kinda missing the whole secret identity part in the process, but that's just the way Cheers has always been. Whenever she sets her mind to task, she commits to it one-hundred-and-ten percent, like it's the only thing that matters in the whole wide world."
"You make Cheerilee sound a lot like my daughter's new friend and his obsession with pirates," Ditzy mused. "So how'd you finally convince her to take the mask off?"
"We never did. She wore it nonstop until around Hearth's Warming or so until the stitchings finally gave out and it fell off on its own. Probably a good thing our parents bought that costume out of the bargain bin rather than springing for the deluxe model."
"Great…" droled Trixie, "So what you're saying is we're stuck with Drillsergeant McPaininourflanks for the long haul then."
"For any ordinary ponies, yeah, but you're the heroes who defied the Tyrant Sun, exposed the corruption of the Night Court, and probably saved all of Equestria a dozen or more other times too. Beating impossible odds is sort of your thing, isn't it?"
"I don't know…" Carrot Top sighed while seeming to nervously chew at the back of her own lip in worry, "I mean, sure enough I suppose, but that's always been because we were working together, Cheerilee included."
Raindrops nodded as she muttered glumly, "United we stand, divided we fall."
"Then maybe we shouldn't be divided," interceded Ditzy, "Maybe we should support Cheerilee the way she's always supported us."
"And do you really think these," Trixie paused, before slowly continuing so as not to alarm Carrot Top again, "…pop quizzes are actually supporting anypony?"
Ditzy dipped her head slightly, "No, maybe not. It's just, she seemed so out of control with all her books and plans. I tried pointing out that none of us are soldiers and that she needed to start acting more like a teacher… and well, somehow I think that inadvertently inspired her latest pop quiz shenanigans"
"Wait," Trixie blinked, "So you're saying all this nonsense is YOUR fault? I was only joking about the novels earlier, but this really is treason."
Carrot Top reached across the table to pat Ditzy’s hoof, before eying Trixie. "Stop being so overly dramatic, bad enough we have to deal with that kind of attitude from Cheerilee right now without further turning on each other. It's not like Ditzy is a mind reader, Trixie. She couldn't have known Cheerilee would take things so far."
"I suppose you're right," Trixie frowned with a sigh, "So anyway, if we can’t get to Cheerilee rationally for fear of her coming up with some new and even more insane contingency…?"
"Maybe we just need to appeal to her emotionally then, as friends?" Carrot Top proposed. "That's how we've persevered through every other challenge. We should be able to get through to Cheerilee just the same… right?"
"So what then?," Raindrops mused aloud while crossing her fore-hooves in front of her, "It’s like Berry said, when Cheerilee starts taking things overboard to the extreme, she gets too focused on the whole big picture and ends up missing the trees for the forest. I don't think any regular old intervention is gonna work. If we all just try showing up on her doorstep together, I'm pretty sure it'll only make Cheerilee double down and dig in all the harder."
"I think you're right," said Ditzy, "Maybe I should just try talking to her one more time on my own."
"Really…" Trixie droled with a sarcastic roll of her eyes, "And what if you only make things worse again?"
"I won't take anything for granted this time. Besides, if nothing else the fact I was able to give her the idea in the first place should mean she'll be most willing to listen to me above anypony else, right?"
The other three mares looked back and forth between each other before all silently conceding with a nod that they didn't have any better ideas, and just in time too, as Berry Punch came back to the table balancing a pizza divided by four different sets of toppings on her back.
"Right, so who had the double caramelized bananas with a side of cajun spiced mustard dip?"
Later that night.
There was a distant knock at Cheerilee's front door. Seated in deep concentration at her bedroom desk, the schoolteacher had no time for such distractions, not when there was still so much research to be done and so many more plans to make. It was probably just one of those annoying door-to-door sales-ponies anyway.
Solicitation like that should really be illegal, she thought absently. Maybe now that she had right of approach, she should consider taking it up with the Princess. Luna had told them all to keep her abreast of any further problems where the welfare of the common folk was concerned, and no pony liked being disturbed by some two-bit hack shilling the latest overpriced miracle product. It'd be doing everypony a favor if all those lousy swindlers were locked up and the key thrown away.
The knocking hadn't gone away either, if anything, it had only gotten louder and more insistent, almost as if it had moved to just outside her bedroom door… or maybe it was just the migraine she'd been fighting the past few days. Rubbing her temples, Cheerilee decided it was time for more coffee. Unfortunately, the pot on the heating plate by her desk was empty. She still had enough water in the jug under her desk to brew another, but her last can of beans rang decidedly hollow.
She hated having to lose any precious time, but she'd have to get up and refresh her supplies. Not to mention give that salespony who still hadn't gotten the hint a piece of her mind, or better yet piece of her hoof to their face.
Opening her bedroom door, however, Cheerilee was startled to find Ditzy standing in the hallway, one hoof still raised and ready to knock again.
"Sorry…" the other mare said, "I don't like intruding, but your front door was open and well... we really need to talk."
Cheerilee shrugged with noncommittal disinterest, "What's there to talk about?"
"Well, to start with, these pop quizzes."
"The other girls put you up to this," Cheerilee replied furrowing her brow gumply, "Didn't they?"
"They're just worried, we all are," Ditzy tried to say consolingly puting one hoof to her weary friend’s shoulder.
"Good!" Cheerilee retorted with beleaguered exasperation, "They should be worried, Corona isn't going to defeat herself!"
"I meant worried about you. Cheerilee, I get that you're just trying to keep us all on the tips of our toes but if you keep up like this someone is going to get hurt… well, hurt worse that is."
"Hey, I warned Lyra not to try that double backflip off her bedpost. It's not my fault she ended up throwing her back out trying to show off just how limber she is, but at least now she knows better than to try a stupid stunt like that in a real fight."
"Stop trying to sugarcoat this," Ditzy retorted, "Stop trying to avoid the issue and open up your eyes to what's really happening."
"What's really happening… you don't get it, do you?" Cheerilee began to pace agitatedly, "My eyes are open, wide open. Sure I might put on a brave face, do my best to keep everyone in good spirits when we're out in the field and things are most dire, but this hero stuff… it's not some game, it's serious, deadly serious."
"Really?" Ditzy questions, "If things are so serious why have you only been testing the other girls? Why have you been avoiding me? Is it because I was the one who first confronted you about how off the deep end you seem to be going? Because you're afraid I'd be able to see through all these pretenses? Look, Cheerilee, I get it. You're scared, we all are but this—"
"Fine then," Cheerilee butts in, cutting Ditzy off, "Pop quiz, Dinky has been kidnapped!"
"That's not funny, Cheerilee."
"Of course it isn't funny," Cheerilee presses as she begins circling Ditzy, "Your daughter's life is on the line, what are you going to do about it?"
DItzy took in a deep steading breath, "I stay calm and do what I should have done when those Manehattan gangsters tried to do that, I gather up you, Trixie and the others so we can make a plan... together... as a team."
"Not bad, not bad, but what if that's not an option, what if you're away from Ponyville, time is of the essence and you can't wait for however long it would take the rest of us to arrive?"
"Then I go to the local constabulary or guard station to get professional help. It might be scary, but I'm not going to solve anything by flying off the handle again like I did last time."
Stopping her circling short, Cheerilee got right up in Ditzy's face, "Really? That's awfully rational of you. I don't think you're taking this pop quiz very seriously. Maybe we need to up the ante."
"Enough games already, can't we just talk?"
"No time for talk, and this isn't a game. Dinky has been kidnapped, but not just by gangsters this time, or even by Corona again… no, this time she's been kidnapped by a cult of Tirek."
"Cheerilee, I think you're taking this too far. What would a cult of Tirek even want with Dinky in the first place?"
"We both know she has the potential to be a magical prodigy. Sure she hasn't learned to control it yet, but I've seen what she can do with her grip when she isn't careful about levitating things."
"I still don't see your point, Cheerilee."
"Then let me spell it out for you," Cheerille said before proceeding to emphasise each of her next words with a pressing hoof to the center Dizzy's barrel, almost as if the mare were trying to use the those words like a knife stabbing the heart, "They. Want. Her. Magic. They want to use her as a vessel to resurrect their dark lord from his Tartaran prison."
Ditzy's hooves go stiff as a shiver runs up and down her spine, "I… that is… no, this is silly. Cheerilee, are you even listening to yourself? You sound more like you're trying to tell a spooky campfire story."
"Now who's deflecting? We've fought gods and dragons, demons and undead abominations, literally anything is possible in our line of work."
"Fine, then digging deep into the powers granted to me by the Elements of Harmony, I transform into an avatar of pure kindness allowing me to purge all the wickedness from the cultist's hearts."
"That's not how the Elements of Harmony work."
"And how are we supposed to know that for sure, I thought you said anything is possible in our line of work?"
Cheerilee let out a single agitated snort, "Stop treating this like you were some foal on the playground just making up abilities as we go along, and start taking things seriously. Your daughter has been kidnapped… what do you do?"
"Enough already."
"You're all alone, no friends, no magical artifacts… what do you do?"
"I said stop."
"The ritual is already completed, Dinky has been possessed by Tirek, and if you don't act now, soon even her very soul will become corrupted forever… what do you do?"
"I don't like where you're going with this."
"Time is short, and you're all out of alternatives, save the blade of a cultist's knife by you hoof."
"Cheerilee, you can't really…"
"What do you do, Ditzy? The link has to be severed before it's too late, before there's nothing left of the pony Dinky used to be to even find peace beyond the veil. What. Do. You—"
*CRACK!*
Her words cut off before she could finish, Cheerilee fell to the floor with a dizzying thud as the whole world went black around her.
Alone in silence, Ditzy was left staring between the crumpled form of the friend she just punched and her own hoof.