A Legendary Issue
(5) - Best Laid Plans
"I'm torn between deciding whether the gathering of myself and your student was orchestrated so perfectly as to not leave any down time, or that it was rushed and everything fell into place coincidently." I snorted. "Either way, nicely done: controlled chaos is the most finicky, yet the most rewarding if pulled off correctly."
Celestia raised a majestic eyebrow. "Have you been conversing with Discord?" she asked.
I immediately felt like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Maybe," I answered, stretching out the middle of the word. Upon seeing Celestia and Luna's concerned expressions, I added, "Should I not have been?"
"That depends on what you two discussed, James. Discord hasn't tried to coerce you into freeing him, has he?"
I shook my body in a negative. "Not once. I stop by every once in a blue moon to have a little chat, but he's never asked for or even referenced his freedom. Today was the first time he mentioned it, saying that he escaped a short while ago. Or something. Hard to say with Discord."
"Then there is no reason why you should not be able to speak him," said Celestia. "There is great knowledge to be found in Discord's demented mind, but only if you are willing to delve deep enough into the madness to find it. Older beings than yourself have been driven insane simply by bridging a mental connection with Discord, let alone trying to peer into the inner machinations of his psyche. Promise me you'll show the utmost care in communicating with him."
"I promise," I quickly replied, having gained a whole new level of weariness for Discord. If he was truly that dangerous, then why hadn't I been reduced to a gibbering pile of smoking electronics? I seriously doubted that the reason my mind was more resilient to Discord's influence happened to be chance. "So," I began, changing topics slightly, "did Discord actually escape, or was he just being Discord?"
"He did escape not a month ago," Luna answered. "The only reason he is not free and wreaking havoc at this very moment is due to Twilight and the Elements of Harmony." Luna paused. "Dost thou know of the Elements and what they represent?"
Even though I knew practically all there was to know, I didn't want to reveal that fact quite yet. "No," I lied. "Do enlighten me."
/\/\/
By the time Celestia and Luna had finished discussing the exact implications of what the Elements of Harmony did and why Twilight Sparkle and Co. were currently in possession of them, I could hear the latter's hoofsteps thundering down the hallway.
This was going to be interesting.
"They're here," I announced a few seconds before a knock-knock came from the door.
"How did you know that?" Celestia whispered to me before raising her voice and saying, "Come in!"
"I may not have ears, but that doesn't mean my hearing capabilities aren't up to snuff," I replied. "If you listen closely, you'll hear the curse of a waiter that just dropped an expensive-sounding glass."
As the door opened, an unprintable swear word echoed down the hallway.
"See?"
"Know-it-all," ribbed Philomena.
"Oh, be quiet, you..."
"Princess Celestia, what's—?"
I stopped my cross-eyed glaring at the phoenix perched on my torso and turned to see several familiar ponies looking at me with confusion, surprise, and in one case, undisguised fear.
"Twilight Sparkle," Celestia addressed warmly. She turned to Shining Armour, who was waiting outside the door. "Thank you again, Guard Captain. You may return to your duties." Shining nodded and closed the door. "Please be seated, everypony," she continued, motioning to the table. "We have much to discuss."
"Okay, I know this is probably really rude, but I'm just going to say it anyway because it looks like nobody else will," said Rainbow Dash. "What the hay is that thing?" Obviously, she was referring to me.
"'That thing' has feelings, y'know," I responded, doing my best to sound emotionally hurt. "My name is James, and I'm a Metagross."
Their reactions were so good that I wished I had a built-in camera.
Twilight had a look of pure disbelief even as she took a step closer to get a better look; Applejack muttered, "Ah must be seein' things," as she rubbed her eyes with her hooves; Fluttershy cowered behind Rainbow Dash and peeked out with only her eyes up visible; Rarity said something along the lines of my colour scheme being not as good as it could've been; Rainbow Dash was slack-jawed in disbelief; and Pinkie Pie broke out into a smile so wide that I was afraid it would eclipse her head.
At once, I was bombarded with more questions than Berlin was with bombs during the Second World War.
"How do you—?"
"What are you—?"
"How can you—?"
"Why are you—?"
"Hi-my-name's-Pinkie-Pie-nice-to-meet-you-do-you-like-cake?"
I sent Celestia a 'please help me' look. Luna smiled and sipped her tea like nothing was out of the ordinary.
"I can see that there are burning questions that you all want answered; I understand that," Celestia said. "I advise everypony to save your questions until after our meeting, as there is a chance that I will answer them myself during the process of explaining why you are all here today. Now please, sit so we can begin with the debriefing. James, if you would be so kind as to slide over to make some room..."