I Killed Fiddy Men, Not Ponies

by LtMajorDude


Dasher meets Gribble and Crazy Girl meets Fatty

"So, what now sir?" Dale asked.

"The hell do I know?" Cotton sighed. "Who do you want to visit? Cuz I don't really care..."

"How 'bout Rainbow Dash!" Dale exclaimed with a smile. "She's my favorite pony!"

Cotton rolled his eyes. "Fine. We just have to find that rainbow-haired gal somewhere."

Kahn pointed to a flying rainbow-mane blue Pegasus. "Is that her?"

Dale smiled widely and vigorously nodded. "Yes! YES! YES!-!-!"

Cotton sighed again. "Hey Dasher!" He shouted to Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash landed in front of Cotton.

"Hey Cotton. What's up?" she asked Cotton.

"I need you to do me a favor." Cotton said. "My friends just arrived in Ponyville. They need a place to stay."

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "OK. Take who?"

Cotton turned around to pick who should stay with Rainbow Dash.

Bill was busy scratching his belly.

Dale jumped up and down whispering "Pick me! Pick me!"

Boomhauer just nodded and said, "Yo," which made Rainbow Dash blush a tiny bit.

Kahn just yawned and gave a little glare to Rainbow Dash, who gave a glare tight back at him.

Cotton shrugged. "Gribble."

Dale flew up to the sky with a victorious grin. "YESSS!"

Rainbow Dash giggled a bit.

Cotton rolled his eyes. "Alright, another problem solved. Come on Fatty, Boomhauer, and Mr. Kahn."

As they left, it was just Rainbow Dash and Dale.

Dale smiled. "Got any cigarettes?"

Rainbow Dash tilted her head. "A what?"

Dale just smiled. His left eye was twitching a bit.

"Oh right..." He thought. "There are no cigarettes here..."


"Alrighty." Cotton said. "Let's go visit...uh..."

"Visit who?" Bill asked.

"HI COTTON!" Pinkie Pie shouted as she suddenly appeared in front of Cotton.

"GAH!" Cotton gasped. "Jesus, Pinks. You almost gave me a heart attack."

Pinkie smiled innocently. "Oops!"

Cotton then raised an eyebrow and said, "Hey Pinky, ya like new guests, right?"

Pinkie nodded happily. Cotton smirked, "Well mah friends need a place to stay, ya mind if..."

Pinkie laughed. "Oh sure! I'll take one in! Which one?"

Cotton turned around to pick who should stay with Pinkie Pie.

Boomhauer just let out a confused look at Pinkie Pie.

Kahn just yawned and looked around, bored out of his mind.

Bill just blinked at Pinkie Pie.

"FATTY!" Cotton barked.

Bill stood up straight and saluted. "SIR, YES, SIR!" he shouted.

Cotton smirked and slowly pointed to Pinkie Pie. "Say howdy to yer new roommate..." he said.

Bill looked nervous as the party pony let out a huge grin. Nevertheless, he continued to salute and shouted, "HOWDY, NEW ROOMMATE!"

Pinkie giggled as Cotton shouted, "Alright Boomhauer and Mr. Kahn! Move out!"

Cotton left with Boomhauer and Kahn, leaving just Bill and Pinkie Pie.

Bill just stared at Pinkie Pie, who just smiled at him.

Bill's stomach started to growl.

As soon as she heard his stomach, she immediately took out a chocolate cupcake.

"Here you go!" She said, handing the cupcake to Bill.

Bill just dropped his jaw.

"I think I'm gonna like it here..." He thought as he ate the cupcake in one bite.


"And that is my 14th compelling reason on why you should switch to propane!" Hank said as Spike yawned while Twilight was very impressed.

"Wow!" Twilight exclaimed. "You know so much about propane!"

"Yup." Hank said with a smirk.

"I'm definitely going to switch to propane!" she said. "On one condition."

Hank crossed his arms. "And that will be?"

Twilight smirked. "You set it up."

Hank just let out a victorious smirk.


Mark formed another cloud and shaped it to look like Joshua Ziff.

Joshua was friendly like Jacob, though he sometimes got angry. Nevertheless, he had a good heart.

Mark facepalmed with both of his hooves.

"Why..." He said. "WHY!-!-!" he shouted as tears came out of his eyes and stained his hooves.


"So he's alive?"

"Yeah...he really is."

"This bores me. Can we do what you promised?"

"We don't have to do this, ya know?"

"Cool your jets, you two. You two will get what you want...just like me and my friend will get what we want..."