//------------------------------// // Loops 32 // Story: MLP Time Loops // by Saphroneth //------------------------------// 32.1 “Twilight,” Trixie said, in an urgent whisper. “I have something to show you.” “What is it?” Twilight asked, looking up. “Sssh!” Trixie replied in a strangled tone. “Not so loud!” “Okay, you have my attention…” Twilight put her book down, with bookmark, and followed her friend out to Trixie’s wagon slash shed. (Trixie insisted it was still a wagon, but Twilight had her own opinions about something which had no wheels and was held down by guy ropes. And which had three extra rooms, including a bathroom and Jacuzzi.) Once inside, Trixie pulled up a hatch in the floor and trotted slowly down the steps. Twilight followed, already wondering by what possible means it was still a wagon when it had a basement. “In here,” Trixie said, hushed, opening a large metal door which turned out to be four inches thick. “What are you doing down here?” Twilight asked, still quietly. “Behold,” Trixie said, and made a grand gesture. “My laboratory. I am currently working on the most impressive purely non-magical pyrotechnics I can discover. Mere unavailability of magic will not stop me from making a loop exciting.” “And what you’ve created is?” Twilight pressed, with a sinking feeling. “Dimercuric tetraazide.” There was a pause, as the scholarly Anchor digested that for a moment. “Okay, that sounds like the most obscenely touchy explosive I’ve been fortunate enough to never encounter in my long life. Is it?” “Well… yes, actually,” Trixie admitted. “Right.” Before going any further, Twilight silently cast her brother’s defensive spell on both of them. “So, what did you want to invite me down here to see?” “The bit where I decant it, of course,” Trixie replied. “It took eight months to purify enough to make a small supply, and this is a historic moment. I have genuinely discovered something new, here…” Twilight strengthened the spell. Trixie moved over to the beaker. In slow, reverent, and very careful movements, she lifted it up in both forehooves and tilted it. Liquid dripped out, one carefully metered drop at a time, until some small crystals could be seen. Again moving with the utmost care, Trixie placed the beaker back down again. She telekinetically picked up a spatula- Spike blinked, as the windows rattled and he saw the Books and Branches shoot into the sky on a trail of fire. “Hey, Rarity?” “What?” the fashionista mumbled around her mouthful of pins. “I think Trixie just blew up our house again. Can I stay here?” “Oh, if you must…” They exchanged a wry look. “Any excuse is a good excuse,” Spike shrugged. “How’s it going?” “I really need to invent a fabric that changes sizes properly,” Rarity finally replied, putting the pins down. “But if you don’t size-shift with it on, those should last you a while.” “Thanks.” “Trixie would like fries with that,” the blue unicorn muttered, and fell over. Twilight dug herself out of the remains of the antechamber. “What the buck just happened?” From her position on the floor, Trixie stuck up a hoof. “I know, miss! The compound turned out to be highly reactive to even very dim light in the dry state, so even simple magiluminescence caused a violent explosion.” Splinters and bits of wagon, tree and Jacuzzi began to rain down around them. “Hi!” Derpy said, flying over the hole. “Letter for you, Twilight. Oh, were you and Trixie doing home renovation? That always happens when I try.” Twilight shook her head. “No… this was more along the lines of an industrial accident.” “Okay.” Derpy nodded and flew off, almost tripping over in the air and hence being missed by Twilight’s still-intact bed as it plummeted into the hole next to them. “You know,” Twilight added conversationally, as she opened the letter, “if this explosion blew up the books despite my protective spells there’ll be Tartarus to pay, Trixie… oh, that’s nice. It seems my application to visit the Griffin Lands got approved.” Twilight fixed the showmare with a stare. “And my house better be here when I get back. Understand?” Trixie had started snoring. “Oh, whatever.” Twilight shrugged, then teleported out of the crater where her house used to be and trotted off east. Maybe it was time to stage an intervention with that mare… 32.2 Twilight was still unsettled by that “Astrid” pegasus. From what she’d said, it had taken not too long to work out that the foreign Looper was actually one of Hiccup’s friends. (Honestly, the dragon should have been a clue.) Indeed, there were those suggestions that she thought rather more of him… though given what she was like, Twilight felt more pity than anything. “Okay,” she said, a slight quaver in her voice as Astrid flipped a battleaxe between her wings, “the next thing that normally happens here is that Fluttershy tries to redeem Discord.” “Oh, him,” Astrid said, scowling. Actually, it had been fascinating to watch her interaction with Discord. He’d turned her into a cringing, zero-confidence weakling who was scared stiff by bad language and had to be rescued out from under her axe. In other words, basically into Fluttershy. “Think you could give it a go?” Twilight hazarded, and was rewarded with a scowl. “Can I, hel! I’ll sort him out.” Astrid’s face set. “Hold on, I need to go get some helpers.” “You actually released me?” Discord said, looking around. “How strange.” “Yeah, I’ll handle this,” Astrid said, and strode forward. “Look, goatface. You listen to me, and we’re all happy fun time friends.” Discord thought. “Nah. Now-” She darted up and took hoof-fulls of his hair and beard, dragging him around to look her in the eyes. “I. Wasn’t. Finished. Now, the easy way is the way I just described. The fun way is that you don’t listen to me.” “What happens then?” Discord said, interested. Astrid smirked, and beat her rear left hoof on the ground twice. An Ursa Major, Stormfly, a chimera and a manticore lumbered into view. Notably, the Ursa was carrying an axe the size of the town hall. “Well,” Astrid said, catching her own battleaxe as Applejack heaved it over, “in that case then we try what I like to call a trial separation.” “Separation of what?” Pinkie asked brightly. “Did you two get married without telling me?” “Nah, I was thinking more… head from body.” Discord took careful note of the way Astrid was hefting the battleaxe in one wing. Then, slowly and deliberately, he tracked across the manticore (which had a tail in strike position), the chimera (all three of whose heads were snarling), the Deadly Nadder (who was in the middle of taking an ominous breath), and finally stopped on the big axe. “What was that bit about listening to you?” Astrid let go of his hair, and pouted. “Nobody ever takes the fun way…” 32.3 Twilight’s horn crackled, spitting out bolts of multicoloured light every time she saw a target. Return fire splashed off her shield, and she dove through a window to get out of the direct line of fire. “Twily!” her brother said, happiness in his voice. Then his tone became more serious. “How’s things?” “Not good, really…” Twilight admitted. “The west flank’s crumbling – they must have shifted their reserves around to hit us there.” “Ah, ponyfeathers,” Shining shook his head. “Sergeant, take our own reserve and shore us up.” “That won’t hold long…” the younger sibling warned, projecting a map. Blue ‘friendly’ dots were winking out rapidly, and the green of confirmed enemies just kept coming. “I know, but we don’t have a better choice,” Shining replied. “Fair point.” Twilight’s eyes flicked up for a second, as she changed frequencies on her shield. “This should be a bit better.” The ground shook, faintly at first, but then building to an incredible grinding rumble before finally dying away. “Well, so much for the east flank…” Twilight muttered. “That was Trixie?” Shining asked. “The ground shook too much for it to be anypony else. Wonder how they got her…” Four guards backed into the room, lashing out with spells from their horns as magic flew past in return. “Sir, we’ve lost contact with-” Twilight’s eyes narrowed, and she stunned all four of them. They fell, flashing with green flame and reverting to their base forms. “Thought so…” More changelings appeared at the window, and then the ceiling broke open. Green magic flashed from above, and after twenty frantic seconds bolts got past both Twilight’s shield and her brother’s. “Yes!” came a shout from outside. Wings buzzing, Queen Chrysalis entered the room. “I win. At last.” “Yep,” Twilight said, rolling back upright. “Good game. Same time next week?” “Sure.” They shook hooves. “I have to say, Twily,” Shining muttered, rubbing a bruise ruefully, “these changelings are very good at magic tag.” “Comes of the hive mind,” Chrysalis said, with a slightly brittle casualness. A blue unicorn trotted into the room. “Trixie thinks that was unfair.” “It was a shield…” Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “You do this every week. Shields, disguises, swarm tactics… no matter how we beat you, it’s somehow unfair by your lights.” “Yes?” Trixie said, with the tone of somepony explaining a simple concept to a foal. “Trixie does not get defeated in a fair fight. Ergo, the fights she loses are not fair.” Chrysalis threw up her hooves. “This is ridiculous!” “Hey, at least you only have to deal with this kind of attitude once per week…” Twilight countered. The Changeling Queen paused, and then nodded. “Fair point.” “Trixie chooses to reject that conversation and substitute one about how awesome she is!” Trixie shouted. “Oh, grow up!” Chrysalis shot back. “This is the most unconventional plan you have come up with for integrating us yet,” Chrysalis said to Twilight, then took a sip of cocoa. “Well, playing sports does help ponies get closer,” Twilight said, shrugging. “It started as an idea after a Loop somewhere where wars are done by mutual agreement in special arenas, but the idea wouldn’t go away…” 32.4 “Do you know, I find myself rather perplexed by you,” Celestia said, lightly. Nyx looked up from an ice cream. “Really?” “Indeed I do.” Celestia inclined her teacup at the filly. “You are, as far as I understand it, generated from a version of my sister. Endowed with life but none of her memories, and then you got an abridged version of Luna’s time as Nightmare Moon.” “That’s right,” Nyx said, going back to the ice cream for a second. Then she looked up, with big innocent eyes. “So what’s the problem again?” “Well – oh, goodness, but you do those well,” Celestia said with something like admiration. “I bet you could charm the whole parliament.” “Thanks!” “Anyway. My point.” Celestia made a small gesture. “You have, at my last count, had no fewer than forty loops in which I am also a participant. Based on what I know about the Loops, there must have been many more where I was not lucky enough to also be present.” “Pretty much. Ooh, there’s boysenberry ice cream in this…” Nyx carefully manipulated the ice cream. “You don’t see that much.” “And, well, there you rather make my point.” “I do?” Nyx licked her lips clean of ice cream. “You’re well over two hundred years old, you see…” Celestia pointed. “And you still act very much like a young filly.” Nyx looked back at the oldest of the Princesses for a moment. Then she balanced her ice cream carefully on the point and hit it with an ice spell, keeping it from falling over. “Okay, I’ll explain.” “Please do,” Celestia invited. “First thing is… in my home loop, or, in my first loop ‘cause this is kind of a home loop… the only really happy life I had was with momma-Twilight, as a little filly. When I was grown up as Nightmare Moon I was… just miserable.” Nyx shrugged uncomfortably. “I don’t like to remember it too much.” “And now?” “Now is kind of the same thing… I still remember being, well, Nightmare Moon. I still remember faint echoes of that need to get revenge on an uncaring world… but it’s really kind of hard to have that super evil powerful hate when you’re going to school and doing homework.” The young alicorn shook her head. “I prefer being nice, really. And being a filly makes me feel much more comfortable generally.” “It seems we all have our burdens to bear,” Celestia said, with a nod. “There’s another side to it, too, of course,” Nyx said, grinning much more comfortably. “Fillies get ice cream and stuff.” “A fair point indeed!” Celestia chuckled. “Actually, that gives me an idea…” “Who’s this?” Pinkie asked Twilight. “She looks cute!” Twilight nodded down at the filly. “She’s called Helia – one of Nyx’s pen friends. I’m looking after her for the week. No, I don’t know why she’s got wings and a horn either.” “Okie dokie.” Pinkie gave the young alicorn a conspiratorial look. “Hey, you want some ice cream?” “Do I?” Helia asked with a big grin. Chrysalis grumbled to herself as she finished another tranche of paperwork. Why the buck had she ever agreed to fill in for Celestia for a week? The alicorn had enough paperwork to choke a dragon! “Your highness,” the seneschal said, motioning to the door, “the court is to be in session momentarily.” “Do you mean soon, or for a short time?” Chrysalis asked, mentally checking her disguise was perfect. “The first one, of course, your highness.” “Of course,” Chrysalis echoed. “Silly me.” “And so, you see, I don’t know what to do…” the stallion trailed off into mumbling. Chrysalis tasted his emotions. He didn’t have all that much hope, which perhaps wasn’t surprising – the position he was trying to advance was that he had lost much of his life’s savings in a disaster, though he himself had come through as had enough to allow him to live reasonably comfortably. But the money he’d been saving up to start a newspaper, his life’s ambition, was not available from what remained of his assets. The disguised Changeling wondered how Celestia would have resolved this. She probably would have weighed benefit against loss, deftly reshuffled funds and personalities, and linked the stallion up with either a suitably rich noble or a public works project or… something. Chrysalis didn’t have nearly that expertise… but she could sense the stallion’s sincerity, and that was enough for her. “The crown will provide funds for your project, in exchange for a thirty percent share. See the treasurer for a draft on the vaults.” Surprise, then gratitude, blossomed in the stallion’s mind like a silent supernova, and approval – and the deep, abiding love that Celestia invoked in her subjects – washed in from the walls. And since they were aimed at Chrysalis, at the results of her actions, she could absorb them with no harm to the originators at all. This is why, she thought, as outwardly she nodded gravely for the next case. Aside from anything else, it’s like eating a gourmet meal every night. 32.5 “Well, that was interesting…” Prince Shining Armor muttered, wiping cake off his muzzle with a napkin. Princess Twilight shrugged her wings. “Sorry, Shiny. I know you’re new to the Elements…” “Yeah. We could have practised, maybe?” Shining Armor lifted the Loyalty necklace off his head, carefully making sure it didn’t get too much icing on it. “One of the things I don’t want to hear when facing down Discord is ‘wait, you can use these, right?’” “I said I was sorry…” Twilight said meekly. “Anyway, we did it. So, now, how do we divide things up?” Shining shrugged. “You’re the expert.” “Well, I’d say military and civilian, but we don’t actually have much of a military.” Twilight shrugged. “Nor do they normally have much to do, aside from keeping the peace.” “Nah, that’ll be fine.” Twilight looked at him carefully. “If you say so.” “Right, that’s the patrol routes worked out.” Shining shuffled his papers and handed them to Corporal Rockhoof, who accepted them and took them out of the room. “What’s next?” Shining’s aide looked lost. “What do you mean, my prince?” “I mean, what’s next on the agenda?” “Sire, you’ve been off the agenda for six months. You’ve been doing everypony else’s work. For the sake of the founders, my prince, you just reorganized the patrol routes in a remote town near Stalliongrad.” “Not following you.” Shining tapped an office toy on his desk, which started clacking merrily. “There’s no work left to do.” “Check again,” Shining instructed. “I did. Twice.” “Well, then.” Prince Shining Armor adjusted his chain of office (something that his sister had looked askance at), and strode out of his office. Princess Twilight Sparkle knocked on her brother’s door. “Hey, Shiny?” “Come in,” Shining said, and Twilight opened the door. Paperwork was piled high on the desk, and Shining was flicking through it with every appearance of enjoyment. “Oh, what’s all this in aid of?” Twilight asked. “Oh, there was a nasty couple of robberies last night. Big money stuff. So that means a lot of work for the guard, of course. I’m coordinating the investigation, so hopefully we’ll catch this pony before they do it again.” Twilight winced. “That’s terrible!” “Well, not really.” Shining shrugged. “For whatever reason, they only stole about a tenth of what was actually there, so…” “Huh.” Twilight said, frowning. “That is strange.” “Tell me about it… so, how are things going with you?” “Well, I’ve decided to subsidize authors heavily, and see just how many books get written as a result. There’s a lot of society-engineering experiments I only really get a chance to do in these loops…” Twilight grinned. “Besides, I need some new books to read.” “Yeah, fair point.” “What, another one?” “Yes,” Shining said, shaking his head. “We’re no closer to this stallion than before. He stole the penthouse off a Manehattan skyrise.” “He?” Twilight asked, interested. “You got something, then?” “Or she.” Shining corrected himself. Twilight nodded, thinking. “Okay, this is just ridiculous,” Twilight said loudly. The black-clad figure on the floor below froze, then looked up slowly. “Er… your highness?” “Lay off it, Shining, I know it’s you.” Twilight glided down from the catwalk. “You’re faking crimes so you have work to do, aren’t you.” With a flash of purple magic, the costume disintegrated. “All right, I was,” Shining Armor admitted, dropping his sack full of stolen museum exhibits on the floor. “I was so bored!” Twilight shook her head. “And you were doing so well… right, I think it’s moon time.” “Does it have to be?” Shining asked. “Well, it might not have to be if your thefts were lower profile. But, one way or another, this investigation you started has got out of your control. I’m only about two steps ahead of the Guard on this one.” “So…” “So we pass it off as the Alicorn Amulet corrupting you, that’s what.” Twilight threw it to him. “One big battle over the city, and then you’re off to the moon until I’ve got an Elements team assembled. Look on the bright side, though.” Shining slipped the pendant on, and his horn began to glow. A reddish tinge started slipping into the magic. “Bright side?” “Yeah. By the time you get back, Cadence is going to be an adult.” The Prince nodded thoughtfully. Then opened fire. “So we need to go sort out the arrangements for the mid-year celebration?” Twilight’s oldest student, Celestia, asked. “Yes, that’s right.” Twilight nodded. “I recommend that the three of you get going. Though, actually, could Cadence stay behind? I’d like a word with her.” Celestia and Luna nodded, and left. (As it happened, they were in the ‘slots’ normally assigned to Shining and Twilight respectively. Twilight had taken on more than one student because, well, why not.) “So,” Cadence grinned. “He lost that little bet…” “Yes, he did.” Twilight smiled back; it had been a surprise five years ago when Cadence Awakened, but also a relief. “Just a head’s up, though, he was using the Alicorn Amulet – that’s the official reason for his banishment, and you know what that thing’s like.” “Yes, stereotypical villainy mode.” Cadence got a light in her eyes. “Does this mean he’ll kidnap me?” “That’s entirely possible, I’m afraid,” Twilight said. “Afraid?” Cadence shook her head. “I’m not afraid. I’m anticipatory.” “…moving on,” Twilight said quickly. “I don’t know exactly how the Elements are going to break down this time. Just, well, make sure Luna doesn’t blow up at Pinkie or something…” “Will do, Twilight.” Cadence flipped up a wing in salute, then giggled. “Hang on, I have to go get some Cosmic Spectrum stone…” Wonder what she’s up to, Twilight thought absently. “You’ll never get away with this!” Luna shouted. “Actually, I think you’ll find I already have,” the dark stallion said with a menacing chuckle, his voice resonating with the walls. “Not only have I kidnapped you, I have also turned the lovely Cadence to my side!” “Muahaha and stuff,” Cadence said, trotting out from behind him. “You monster!” Luna struggled with the magical shields holding her down. “How did you corrupt such an innocent pony?” The alicorn’s eyes lost a little of their red glow. “I’m not entirely sure, actually. I was planning to use her as a hostage, but that didn’t pan out because hostages don’t normally take their captors side this fast. And now she’s an alicorn for some reason.” “Go Shiny!” Cadence said, waving pom-poms. Luna shook her head. “You’re really lowering the tone, here, Cadence.” “Sorry.” Cadence put the pom-poms down and kicked them away. “I’m enthusiastic, okay?” “Now, as I was saying. I am unstoppable!” The alicorn amulet gleamed redly below his neck. “The Elements of Harmony will only activate for a full six ponies, so with young Luna here-” “Wait,” Luna said, eyes suddenly intent. “They require six ponies?” “Yes,” Sundered Armor said, his voice still gleaming with malice. At that point, the door exploded in under a laser lance of sunlight. “Luna!” Celestia said, horn flaring, as she charged through the door with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity behind her. “Are you alright?” “I’ve been better…” Luna said pointedly. “We’re here to save you!” Celestia waved the Element of Magic around, then put it on her forehead. The other five matched her with their necklaces. “Oh.” Sundered looked resigned. “Well, bu-” “Now for you,” Celestia said, pointing at Cadence. “Don’t worry, you’ll be alright soon.” “I’m alright now,” Cadence said, shrugging. “No actual corruption involved. Now sit down before you fall down, Celly, you look exhausted.” “What?” Celestia sank back onto the floor, keeping an eye on the collapsed and younger Shining Armor. “Why did you join him, then?” Cadence blushed. “He’s a hunk, that’s why.” “Well, then,” Princess Twilight said, flashing into existence. “Good to see that all worked out. Congratulations on the new horn, Cadence.” “Do you know everything before we do?” Luna asked, stretching. “Not quite.” Twilight winked. “Anyway, I see you’ve met my brother.” The Elements and Luna all paused. “Now y’all say it, yer highness, ah do kinda see the family resemblance…” Applejack ventured. “How come he went loco?” “Underwork,” Twilight summarized. “Now, shall we go and have that mid-year celebration? I think we all need to relax. And yes, Cadence, you can ‘keep him’, so long as he follows you home.” 32.6 “For, you see, I am not in truth a skink,” the small reptile said. “I am a handsome dragon, turned thus by the spell of a witch. I need but a kiss to-” Twilight skidded into the garden. “Hi, guys, big problem. We – wait a second.” She looked between the skink and the suddenly blushing Rarity. “Were you two seriously reenacting the Princess and the Frog? No, on second thoughts I don't want to know...” With a moment of morphic uncertainty, Spike returned to his default size nowadays – about the same mass as Twilight, but bipedal instead of quadrupedal. “Ahem. What was that, Twilight?” “Oh, right.” Twilight pointed. “Basically, have you guys ever heard of frost giants?” Both Spike and Rarity shook their heads. “Right. Well, neither had I until one came over the border. They're kind of like the bigger, meaner cousins of Windigoes.” Twilight counted on her hooves. “Four, five... and Dash isn't Awake this Loop... in fact, I think she's in San Equus or something. It's just going to be easier for you to sub in, Spike.” “Gotcha.” Spike summoned his Element with a flash of red light. Rarity matched him, and transitioned up to Alicorn with the ease of long practise. “When do we go?” “Few minutes,” Twilight replied. “I'll teleport us all to Vanhoofer, that's where it's approaching.” “Maybe it just wants a coffee?” Spike suggested, stretching. “That's Seaddle, of course, dear,” Rarity corrected him. “Oh, my mistake.” Twilight wove a net of magic about them- -and they were looking at a very distinctive mountain range being stepped on by something taller than said mountains. “Whoa, that's big...” Spike muttered. “I hope you don't want us to wrestle it...” “No, that's fine.” Twilight vanished again, then deposited Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie and Trixie next to them in quick succession. “Okay, here we go.” Twilight went Alicorn, and the rest followed suit. “I've got no idea how nasty this thing is, so we'd better err on the side of overdoing it. Trix, you want to play defence?” “It depends what defence means.” Trixie began casting her own enhancement spells. “Explode it until we're ready.” “DIBS!” the blue alicorn shouted, and promptly broke about five Equestrian laws on responsible magic channeling levels. Then three more on excessive noise levels, two which governed what spell-types were permitted within metropolitan areas, and something to do with sunburn on top of that. “Guys, focus!” Twilight said sharply. “Sorry,” Spike said, shaking his head to clear it. “Trixie's impressive when she gets going.” “This is why I don't take any fashion direction from her...” Rarity confirmed. “She'd try to make an exploding dress.” The ice giant slipped, its huge feet not finding proper purchase on a lake of lava. A tiny blue spark, shining like a star, flitted above it and began launching yet more attacks. “Okay, done!” Twilight said finally, and rainbow light sliced across the sky. “So...” Rarity said, uncertainly, once the press had been persuaded to leave them alone. “What was that all in aid of?” “I have no idea.” Twilight shrugged. “Suppose it's a Loop variant, that's all – I've been to the Frozen North a lot before, if they were standard issue I'd have met them before.” “Um...” Fluttershy raised a hoof. “Yes?” several of them said at once. “I think that was a... they turn up in stories on Oerth. It's a Xixecal.” “Say that again, but slower?” Applejack requested. “Xixecal.” “Nope, still no idea how t' pronounce it...” “Okay, so what are they?” Twilight asked, to forestall the confusing argument she could see coming. “Oh. Er... sort of like half-made gods, or something. They're often a concept made material – like that one was cold. They're mentioned in druid training, but I forgot...” Fluttershy shrank back into her chair a bit. “Sorry. They scare me.” “That's fine,” Twilight reassured her automatically. “Can you tell if there's any others?” “Okay.” Fluttershy closed her eyes for a moment, then they opened again. “Well?” She nodded. “Two. One called a phaheon – it's made of lava – and one called a Phane. The Phane does time dilation.” “I'll handle him!” Pinkie said eagerly. “I can bring all my apprentices!” “Apprentices?” Twilight parroted. “Yeah! I wouldn't normally, but I'm totally going to go and get the mirror pool going again!” “Well, we're doomed...” Spike said conversationally. Twilight blinked. “Wait, I just realized. Where's Trixie?” “Trixie demands justice! Or she will swear everlasting vengeance. Or, on balance, simply insist Twilight pays for her lunch for a Loop.” The blue-coated alicorn looked down at Equestria hanging below her, and continued spellcasting. Intellectually, she knew it was just being so close to the monster which had caught her in a high powered use of the Elements. Emotionally, she was going to write something defamatory on the moon about Twilight Sparkle until she felt better. Then she was going to look into a non-magical method of lunar escape. It's not like it's rocket science, right? Oops, bad analogy. 32.7 (Grinnerz) Twilight Greenhilt had a very slight problem. “Why is it that I almost always wake up as human mid-stride? And how do the locals balance on such thin legs anyway? And WHAT am I wearing? …Okay, the purple top and pink skirt I get, but why the bare midriff? No matter, on to learning!” She was not going to pass up the first day awake at an academy of magic she hadn’t been to before after all. Walking through the halls of Warthog’s School of Wizardry and Sorcery she couldn’t help but overhear snippets of conversations. The speech bubbles took some getting used to though. “…and that’s why the d100 is a superior percentile than two d10.” “…so I told Stacy, like, I rolled my stats. This 17 Charisma: all natural. Not like that cloak she always wears.” ‘Okay this loop’s a bit outside the norm for me, but I can roll with it.’ Suddenly the bell began to ring calling students to class. The seeing the stairway she needed already clogged by her peers Twilight ran down ways to speed her passage. “No, I will not be tardy the first day. Let’s see what local magic can do. Dimension Hop.” A bystander had this to say:”Ugh, sooo not a core spell.” Sitting down at the back of the class Twilight took a moment to observe her classmates. She did a double take as a Harry Potter look-alike sat two rows up. A red-haired kid across the room seemed to be staring at her, though why he had a pointed ear on the right side of his head and no one else had visible ears at all she didn’t know. In fact none of the other students had visible anythings under their pulled up hoods. A grey haired woman walked into the room. “Welcome class to Necromancy 101. I’ll be your homeroom teacher Professor McDougal. Now I’m going to call roll.” “Twilight Greenhilt.” “Here.” “Pompey.” “Here.” It was the red-haired boy. “Larry Gardener.” “Here, guvnor.” The Not-Potter said. “He Who Must Not Be Named” “Here.” “The One Who Must Not Be Named” “Here.” “She Who Must Not Be Looked At.” “Here.” “They Who Must Not Be Spoken To.” “…” “…” “Right, never mind. He Who Must Not Be Toilet-Trained…” *Sniff-sniff* “Pompey I believe you are on mop duty this week.” *Sigh* “Yes Professor.” ‘And other loopers say Equestria is weird. Alright: diagnostic spell complete. Pinkie is here somewhere but not nearby. Other than that there is no one I can detect. Well, how much trouble can she get into anyway?’ A flash of lightning and a crack of thunder interrupted her thoughts. “Don’t worry class: the druid college down the road is practising controlling the weather today.” “Meanwhile, deep in the Redmountain Hills our intrepid band of adventurers: The Order of the Stick is camped. With half their number still slumbering the remaining three have a clandestine meeting around the campfire. Roy Greenhilt, leader of the Order sits polishing his family namesake. Durkon Thundershield, Cleric of Thor, holds his holy symbol as if warding away great evil or a mild headache. And Pinkie the Bard turns from looking at her arms to stare at the cloudy sky in wonder. Standing on a hill to the north is a gloriously handsome older gentleman in a fine tuxedo holding a microphone.” “You guys have a narrator! That’s sooo cool!” “Thank you.” “Yeah, don’t worry. He usually doesn’t stick around long.” “If you stopped trying to feed me to that overgrown lizard I might stay longer.” “You’re third-person omniscient and unlike us can run in formal attire. But anyway Pinkie, you’re not an anchor?” “Nope-a-roonie.” “Huh. Wonder who is then. It’s usually Elan, but you’re here instead.” Turning to Durkon, Roy continued.” So… more-or-less baseline? I kind of want to see how she reacts to things.” “Aye lad, it’ll be diffr’nt at any rate.” “This is gonna be so much fun! I Even have a lute!” “Days later within the fabled Dungeon of Durukon: The wicked lich Xykon and his henchgoblin Redcloak spy on our heroes.” “She’s skipping. Why is she skipping? They haven’t even killed anything; she’s just given the monsters cakes from nowhere and sung. Where’s the death, destruction and piles of dead goblins? I mean come on! She literally danced though one of my deadliest traps! Redcloak! Send in those mercenaries. If they can’t provoke a fight I don’t know what will.” “Yes sir. Is she… waving at us through the crystal ball?” “… Can she do that?” “I-I don’t know sir.” “Down the halls and corridors the Order moves hunting their elusive undead prey. Pinkie bravely takes point with Haley’s bow and Vaarsuvius’ spells to offer cover. Belkar Bitterleaf, intrepid Halfling ranger, trails behind shaking in rage as all blades he claims are mysteriously replaced with rubber replicas. Barely concealing his amusement, Roy Greenhilt drifts back to converse with Durkon.” “Roy, do ye think we should tell her aboot th’ Linear Guild? Seems bout’ time fer them t’be showin’.” “No, she said she wanted it all as a surprise. Besides, I’m morbidly curious as to what Nale will be like with her here.” “Ooooooh, another door!” Rushing forward, yet again ignoring Haley’s protests about searching for traps, Pinkie grabbed the knob and yanked open a rather nondescript brown door. “Woah.” “Woah.” “Speak of the devils…” Roy and Durkon leaned to the side a bit and noted no changes among their evil opposites until they got to the head of the line. There they saw a shift from the norm. Like usual, the figure’s clothing had an opposite colour scheme than Elan, or Pinkie in this case. But whereas Pinkie had wild pink hair the newcomer’s was strait as a razor, and the gleam in her eyes was less welcoming than Pinkie’s friendly insanity. And of course, the one feature they had been half expecting… “Wowie-zowie! I look good with a goatee!” 32.8 (Filraen) Pinkie Pie blinked. She was suddenly in her room Sugarcube Corner. She had Awoke again! What kinds of fun she'd have this loop? 'Wait a little, let me check something first.' And so she checked her surroundings: no access to worshippers for chaos magic, and her loop memories told her this seemed a baseline loop. Looking at the window she could see Matilda going a bit slower than usual (the news of Princess Celestia coming to Ponyville to raise the sun herself made her a bit melancholic for Cranky Doodle), which seemed to confirm this idea. Yep, baseline loop all right. Pinkie wondered if Big Mac is awake this time as she had a super special idea for the bar-- Baseline loop? Pinkie Pie stopped and was reminded of something very important. Concentrating in her Element of Laughter she peeked to check which other elements were Awoke. With a happy feeling much like the Diet Cola volcano would feel when the Mentos stalactites fall in she received two answers: Magic and Loyalty. Dashie is awake? That changes all the plans: the Prank Wars versus Dashie start now! First one to force the other to use a non-baseline ability wins! Checking her loop memories Pinkie Pie realized the hidden town props were in pattern Cake-4-Tea. That'd surely will give them a good head start! With some luck she might win even before Twilight arrives to Ponyville. Having set in her plan, Pinkie Pie trotted out of her room. She had to move quickly, after all early to Awake gets to dethrone Discord. Wearing her Groucho glasses Pinkie Pie hid inside a cardboard box by the park pondered her next move. Rainbow Dash had been a thought cookie, like one stale for a few weeks: even when Pinkie put a statue near the town hall and starting advertising herself as a priest of the Church of Discord hadn't bore fruits. Well, Dashie knows Discord may be awake and all. Going for Anarchism again? Not too hard but not good for this time. Fluttershy isn't Awake and her nonlooper self is still too timid to help Pinkie in making an Equestrian revolution. Even if she had been awake, asking for looper help in the pranks was against the rules. Idea! She had to find Lyra while making her way to Sugarcube Corner to get a rope, meringue, her candy-copter, flour, a spell cast, a parasol and some frosting. To the Pinkie-cave! One Pinkie saw a rainbow-colored streak of light going through the sky. Two It looks like Dashie's meeting with Twilight is going as baseline, and now she's trying to clear the sky in ten seconds flat. Three But Pinkie had counted on that, leaving a surprise on a cloud. Four Asking looper help was off-limits, but nopony said Pinkie couldn't ask Lyra to cast a cloud-walking spell on her. Five Then it was only a matter of getting to a cloud with the candy-copter. Pinkie almost looked like Applejack when she lassoed it! Six Than Pinkie had to use her Earth Pony magic in the flour to make the cloud could hold as much meringue and frosting as possible, leaving the most sticky cloud since ever. Seven Getting down was just a matter of jumping down and opening the parasol at a proper time, Eight She's coming to the cloud, just in time and with a very fast dive. Perfect Nine Aaaand... there! Just when she was going to pass through the last cloud in the sky she got stuck into it, and being unable to flap her wings she couldn't do other thing than fall to the ground. Perfect! Then Pinkie Pie walked to the grounds where Dashie had fell, She had to check when currently trapped pegasus surrendered the bet after all. It was then when she realized somepony purple in the corner of her eyes. Upon that Pinkie extended her hooves sideways as to block Twilight's path and looked at her unicorn friend. "Wait a moment Twilight, we are in the middle of our Prank Wars. No help now until Dashie surrenders." Though to her surprise if wasn't Twilight who answered. "You know, Pinkie," she heard Spike's voice and turned to the other side only to realize he was as tall as her, "I don't think Rainbow is Awake right now." And then he concentrated a bit to make his own Element of Loyalty appear in his hand. Erm... "Oopsie?" 32.9 (Stainless Steel Fox) "Raaaahhhh!" A vast blast of dragon fire burst from the cave mouth. Twilight Sparkle walked out of the cave, mane singed in a humorous manner. "Well that didn't work. I quoted all the relevant parts of the treaty of Lonely Mountain. While that dragon is allowed to use the cave as a stop-over, he's not allowed to set up a semi-permanent residence there. That's why we have dragon zoning in the Everfree Forest! Maybe I overdid it with the half hour presentation, and the slide show..." An outside observer who knew of such things, would have deduced the entire mane six, plus Spike, were looping from the lack of terror at their fearless leader having been subjected to the equivalent of a blast from a ship mounted plasma cannon. Oh, and that Spike was snuggled up against Rarity, who was cracking open a geode and feeding him gems in the manner of a girl peeling grapes. She spoke. "So, should I ask Spikey-wikey to act as my champion when I go in there?" "Like you need one, even without going full alicorn." Applejack commented, reshaping the earth into little dragon statues. "You duke it out with Spike when he's cranked up to, what the hay was it, Great Wyrm? Big and mean and about the size of Buckingham palace anyhow." The little dragon cracked his knuckles. "Okay, I won't crank myself higher than Young Adult. Beating that Old guy with an equivalent age category just isn't a challenge any more." "Uh huh!" Twilight shook her head, smoothing out her mane with a cosmetic spell. "Rainbow's got next place on the rota this time remember? After the thing at the place..." The ponies shuddered, except for Pinkie, who grinned brightly. "But it was such a cool way to use a dozen cubic hooves of liquid rainbow and a raw egg!" Rainbow Dash recovered quickly, and flew up in the air. "Aw yeah! Yo, big red, you in there! If you aren't going to play nice with the other foals, I'm gonna fly in there and kick you right in the jaw!" A blast of smoke engulfed her from the cave mouth. It blasted away to reveal the clear pocket of air she'd wrapped around herself with her weather magic. "Okay buddy, you asked for it!" She shot off, away from the mountaintop, cracking out her first rainbow shockwave before she'd gotten more than a few hundred pony-lengths. The rainbow contrail vanished into the sky, only to turn into the trail of a glowing polychromatic comet a few moments later. Twilight did some calculations based on the pegasus's rate of approach and decided she'd grown even stronger since her friend last tested herself. The purple unicorn cast a structural integrity spell at range... on the dragon. This way it would only feel like he was getting his head ripped off by the impact, rather than it actually happening. Dash arrived at high mach numbers, encased in a glowing rainbow aura and vanished into the cave, rear hoof first in a flying kick. An instant later, the dragon flew out of the cave's rear entrace, newly created by it's body being smashed through the back wall. It fell a good way, then managed to right itself in mid-air, and blast her with superheated plasma, which split around either side of her as she guided the air-flow. The subsequent beat down was short and brutal, for the dragon. It dwarfed the pegasus fighting it to insignificance, and it didn't matter. Ultiimately Dash carried the dragon back by it's tail, which she held in her teeth, as the dragon was hurt too badly to still fly. She laid him out on the ledge in front of the others. "Uh... that rainbow one kicked me!” Fluttershy trotted over, showing only the slightest trace of her once fear. Becoming an Alicorn, staring down Discord a few hundred times, not to mention the God Emperor of Mankind had helped her overcome it... not to mention that as a high level druid, her will save was off the top of the charts. She laid her hooves to the dragon's fore-paw claw and cast Heal (not that the spell needed contact, but she felt it would be more reassuring.) "I know, and I'm sure she's very sorry about that." "Actually I'm not." Dash stated, flexing her wings to get the kinks out. "That was a great workout." The dragon's injuries had vanished, in fact he felt like a vast hoard of gems. "You caught me off guard. Next time you won't be so lucky." Rather than quailing, the rainbow pegasus seemed pleased. "Wanna prove that? Best of three!" "Whoa Dash!" Twilight called out. "Sparring later. We're still sorting out the fact that he... I'm sorry sir, I didn't get your name." "I am Vantuvir the Mighty, Vantuvir of the Flaming Scale, Vantuvir the Wrath Bringer..." "Right, Mr Vantuvir here shouldn't actually be sleeping here. Smoke covering all of Equestria, remember?" "Um... actually Twilight, I cured the snoring while I was healing him. It was a symptom of the obstructive form of sleep apnoea. It can lead to all kinds of nasty secondary effects." She turned to the dragon and gave him a low level Stare. "You should take better care of yourself mister!" The dragon flinched and looked away, instead focussing on the flyer above. "Now your friend healed me up, I can crush you!" His head was forcefully turned to face Twilight by a grip of purple magic. "Now just stop that! If you act up again, you won't face just her, you face all of us..." She was blasted by another wave of dragon fire, which splashed back at him from the bowl shaped shield of purple force that formed in front of her. "That didn't work last time, why did you think this would be any different? Applejack?" The farm-pony nodded and placed her hooves against the outcropping, which reshaped itself into a stylised sculpture of a dragon. she then turned and kicked it with her hind hooves, splitting it off at the base and sending it flying away from the plateau. It was caught by Twilight's magic, and hauled back to hover in mid-air, without her releasing her telekinetic grip on the real dragon. "We may not be as big as you..." The glow around the statue brightened, and compressed to crush the statue to pebbles. "... but we ponies have our own strength." "And they've got us too!" Spike said, moving into his line of sight. "Me and Rarity!" "A silly frilly pony and a wyrmling?" Vantuvir exclaimed incredulously. Spike made a pose and flexed his muscles, which began to swell, and didn't stop. He exploded upwards until he towered over the dragon in full Great Wyrm form, with Rarity riding his shoulder ridge. "You were saying?" he rumbled. "I suggest you apologise to my beloved. Rarity is the most precious of gems to me, more valued than a mountain of flawless diamond. She's beautiful, generous, beautiful, can find gems with her magic, beautiful, courageous, beautiful, refined... and did I mention beautiful? Well it's worth saying again!" "Oh Spikey-wikey, you're so sweet!" Rarity nuzzled into his neck ridges. He leaned over the crimson dragon and glared at him, and the other dragon quailed again. He had enough quails by now to feed a banquet. "I... apologise." Great Wyrm Spike grinned, which was only marginally less terrifying. "By the way, I think you should know I'm not the one you should be worried about. Even a romance for the ages such as ours has it's rough spots, and on the few occasions we fought, she's beaten me two times out of three. So, word to the wise, just do as they say, okay?" The dragon gave a huff and said, "I don't have a choice, do I!" "Great!" Twilight said brightly. "Now as to the cave you'll be moving to..." "What?" The dragon looked completely non-plussed. "Just because you can't stay here, doesn't mean we don't understand you need somewhere to rest. Rarity found a cavern on the outskirts of the badlands, it's almost as big as this one, plenty large enough for your hoard, and it has a couple of gemstone veins so if you wake up after a few decades with a case of the munchies, you don't have to deplete it." Pinkie Pie piped up. "I even made you a cave warming cake!" She pulled a cake taller than she was, heavily decorated with gems, from her sub-space pocket. "Trust me, Pinkie's cakes are not to be sneezed at." Mega-Spike added, licking his lips. "Well of course not!" Pinkie looked up at the big dragon. "They're made to be eaten! Of course if you sneezed at it, it would be sent to Princess Celestia, and while she likes cake, I don't think she'd enjoy the gemstones..." "But then why didn't you tell me about that?" The dragon asked. 'Because you generally won't listen until some-pony knocks the stuffing out of you...' muttered Twilight, then said out loud, "That was on the next slide, complete with a picture. However, you incinerated my slide projector before I could get to it. C'mon, we'll help you pack." 32.10 (misterq) Twilight woke up in a forest to the grinning faces of a blue unicorn and a pink unicorn. "Hey, Twilight; wake up!" said the smiling blue unicorn. "Yeah, you silly sleepy head; wake up!" the pink unicorn was positively grinning. Twilight just blinked and stared at the two unicorns in front of her. This was all a little too disturbingly familiar. "We're going on an adventure, Twilight," the blue unicorn exclaimed. "Yeah! Come with us, Twilight! It'll be an adventure!" the pink one chimed in, "We're going To Candy Mountain!" Twilight kept staring at the two, deep in thought; before making up her mind. She turned to the blue unicorn and slowly said, "What did you do?" "Me?" The blue unicorn actually took a few steps back, "I didn't do anything." The pink unicorn's eyes lost focus as her imagination ran wild, "Candy Mountain! You fill me with sweet, sugary goodness!" Twilight just kept her accusatory stare on the blue unicorn. "This loop is not the fault of the great and powerful Trixie," said the blue unicorn. "It's certainty not the fault of unicorn Pinkie Pie," Twilight kept staring at Trixie. Idly, she wondered if Pinkie was actually insane this time or just pretending to be. 'Probably a little from both columns,' she decided. The show-mare remained defiant, pausing only to look at Pinkie Pie; who had now started to sing. "Oh, when you're down and looking for some cheering up, then just head right on up to the Candy Mountain cave," the unicorn Pinkie Pie sang gleefully. Trixie broke down, "Okay, fine. I mean, you try and alter the Giga Slave spell and accidentally blow up just one planet and suddenly, everything is Trixie's fault." "We were on the planet at the time, Trixie," Twilight deadpanned. "We were the only ones on the planet along with Pinkie Pie," Trixie defended herself, "It was either experiment with spells or suffer a 'chimmi-cherry, cherry-changa' level discussion until the loop ended." Pinkie continued to sing obliviously, "when you get inside, you'll find yourself a cheering land; such a happy and joyful and perky, merry land." "You know what, Trixie," Twilight said as she slowly got up while at the same time magically picking up a large oddly shaped rock, "I'm going to take this kidney-shaped rock and beat you with it until you learn not to cause extinction-level events ever again." "Oh come on, there was no way I could have predicted that the unstable spell would backfire," Trixie started to backpedal away from a slowly, unflinchingly advancing Twilight. "And I totally thought that thing was only a small moon, right up until I activated its superlaser. Also thanks to me, we now know that the accio summoning spell works just fine on large asteroids. And who knew that that would happen if Derpy's talent for entropy was amplified, right? No pony told me during that loop that her cutie mark represented a molecule with broken atomic bonds." Twilight just kept walking at a steady pace, neither speeding up nor wavering. Trixie finally broke into a frantic gallop. Amidst the joyous singing of a mostly oblivious Pinkie Pie, the two other unicorns chased each other.