Just Another Day in the Asylum...
Today was Bent Blade's first day on the job as a Royal Guard, and he was determined NOT to buck it up. He had just barely passed through the academy, and that was after several years of almost getting his flank kicked out for screwing up nearly everything he did.
Light those torches along the wall, Bent.
NO YOU IDIOT THAT'S A POWDER KEG!!
Yeah... Not some of his better days...
But he was determined that today, he was NOT going to do ANYTHING that could lose him this job. Besides, from the sound of it, he had it easy.
How hard could it possibly be to just stand outside some nutjob's cell for a few hours?
One Hour Later...
"OH SWEET CELESTIA! HE'S GOTTEN OUT AGAIN!"
Bent Blade lay on the floor of his charge's cell, bleeding out from the gash in his stomach from where the stallion had taken Bent's pike. He weakly tried to remember what had happened as the panicked screams of nurses, doctors, and guards alike rang out, accompanied occasionally by a manic laughter... how had this happened to him? How had he screwed up? How did life buck him THIS badly?!
"Okay rookie, here he is. Just stand here, and point your weapon at the door to discourage any funny business when it's opened for his food delivery."
"Alright Captain, sound easy enough. So what poor nut's in he-OLY SHIT!! What is wrong with him?!"
"Let me guess. He's sitting against the far wall, staring at you as if he knew you were about to look through the grate at that moment."
"Well... yeah. And... what's with that... mask? It's creepy... too creepy for my taste..."
"It's for protection. It prevents him from using his horn in addition to preventing any biting. Hasn't stopped him from trying, but it stops him from doing it."
"Still... do they have to make it so cre-OH CELESTIA HE'S GONE!! Oh no oh no oh no how did he just disappear!?"
"Relax, rookie, he does that all the time. He's just trying to see if he can trick some poor sap into opening the door so he can jump out from behind it and esca-WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?!"
...
In retrospect, maybe opening the cell door was a bad call.
That was the last thing that ran through his head... before the blood loss finally made him black out.
Two Hours Later...
They had finally captured the 'patient', and had him restrained in the corner of his room as punishment for his behavior.
"Now, my friend, please behave yourself. You left behind quite a... mess for us to deal with, this time," the head doctor said to his patient before turning to leave.
"Hey... doc..." whispered a chilling, mocking tone. The doctor turned to his patient and raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"
"Mind bringing me some of that 'mess'? I'd be more than happy to help take it off your hooves... Besides, I've been waiting for something better than that filth you call food for awhile, and I'd hate for good delicacies to go to waste with how you ponies treat them."
The doctor shook his head as he shut the cell door. "I don't know what we're going to do with him... but we have to keep trying. Or... at least make sure he can't do that out in public... not again."
A nurse quickly ran up to the doctor, a clipboard levitating beside her. "Sir? We have urgent news."
"More urgent than cleaning up eleven dead bodies, contacting the families, and making arrangements for funerals? What in Equestria could be more important than that?"
The nurse passed him the clipboard. His pupils shrunk as he read it. He looked at the nurse. "When did you get this?"
"Just a few minutes ago, sir. It came in during the breakout."
The doctor rubbed a hoof against his forehead. "No no no... oh, why tomorrow? And why does the Princess have to make this such short notice?! An inspector, coming TOMORROW?! And we've already been through so many inspections! Why one more?!"
The nurse pointed out some of the finer details that the doctor had missed in his quick scan of the letter. "It says here that the Princesses view her as an expert on this sort of thing. It even mentions that Luna knew of no other pony better suited for the job. AND this pony is apparently one of the ones who started the whole mental health reformation in the first place!"
The head doctor merely nodded his head wearily. "Right then, let's get everything ship shape for early tomorrow then... now if you'll excuse me... I have some letters to write..."
In the dim cell, the patient smiled. It had been a fun day.
"Let's see now... two doctors... seven guards... and two nurses. Hmph. Should have killed more of those guards. So close to beating my record... Well, whatever!"
He laughed to himself as he recalled the expressions on their faces, how easy it had been.
These ponies... they are so soft... so weak... they don't deserve life! Why should they live!? WHY, WHEN-
He shook his head fiercely. He had been slipping into those thoughts again. The thoughts that hurt, that made him angry, and made him kill more than usual. If it weren't for the fact that the headaches that always accompanied these thought were devastating, he would have them more often!
His ears flicked slightly, hearing talk of something special tomorrow. The Good Doctor might have thought he couldn't hear, that the door and walls were too thick. But they weren't, and combined with his advanced sense of hearing, he could faintly make out what the Good Doctor and his little assistant were talking about.
A pony? Coming to visit, to look at this glorious hellhole? Sounds like fun! And to top it off, they apparently know something about madhouses, enough that one of those bitches that everypony calls Princesses actually is vouching for them? Double the fun! Heheheheheeeh!
He knew that he wouldn't want to miss out on tomorrow. Tomorrow sounded like it would be a good day for him. He would have a guest... and who knows? He might even manage to break out twice in a row!
After letting out another laugh, he sat quietly, a smile upon his face.
Then... he began to sing a little...