Apinkalypse

by StageQuill


In Which Pinkie Pie Hosts a Party to Inform her Friends of the Adventure

"Rarity, Why was this party so importn't again? Ah was applebuckin'." Applejack, exasperated, followed her fashionable friend out of the orchard.

"I think Pinkie should tell you that." Rarity answered. "It is her party." Applejack huffed behind Rarity.


"Twilight?" Fluttershy almost whispered. "Why is Pinkie having a party right away?" When Twilight looked at her kindly, she attempted a shy smile from under her soft pink mane.

"It's for Pinkie to say. Sorry, Fluttershy." Twilight said in response.


"RAINBOW DASH! RainbowDashRainbowDashRAINBOWDAAAAAAAAAAAASH!"

Rainbow Dash woke up with a start. "WHA- Pinkie?"

"I'm having a PAR-TAY!" Pinkie shrieked. Rainbow yawned.

"That's nice." She turned over on her favorite tree branch.

"It's really important!" Pinkie urged. "I Pinkie Promise! You'll see!" Rainbow opened one eye.

"Twenty seconds." She said. "Shoot."

"I found something really important and Twilight and Rarity were there and it's reallyimportantandyouNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDtobethere!" Pinkie explained in one breath. Rainbow sighed.

"Fine." She said, flipping off out of her nap and following an erratically jumping Pinkie Pie to Sugarcube Corner.


"Awright, Pinkie. What's this all about?" Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity and Twilight Sparkle were facing Pinkie Pie, who was standing in front of the room as if to give a speech.

"OOO-kay!" Pinkie said to everyone. "We needneedNEED to go on a quest!"

"Why?" Applejack asked.

"Oh yeah!" Rainbow added.

"A q-quest?" Fluttershy's eyes went wide. "What quest?" Angel bunny, sitting in her mane, patted her on the ear. Fluttershy bit her lip.

"I found the most AMAZING underground cavern! A SECRET CAVE!" Pinkie jumped around so much she almost splatted herself against the ceiling. "Come on! I'll show you!" She burst out through the door, leaving her confused friends no choice but to follow.

"Why are we followin' Pinkie? Ah was applebuckin'!" Applejack whispered to Rainbow dash irritatedly.

"And I was napping!" Rainbow Dash leaped into the air and did a loop de loop to let off energy. "That was super important!"

"I was going to brush all the animals today." Fluttershy said softly to Rarity. "Is this really, really important or Pinkie Pie important?"

"Oh, This is Really and truly a matter of importance." Rarity informed the shy pegasus. Fluttershy nodded her head quickly and continued to walk beside Rarity.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE IT IS!" Pinkie yelled, interrupting everypony's thoughts.

"A tree." Rainbow Dash said sarcastically. "How amazing. I definitely see why we needneedNEED to go on a quest." Angel narrowed his eyes from his perch on Fluttershy's head.

"No, inside the tree!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Come on!" Pinkie jumped through the hole in the tree. Instead of a sound as she hit the roots, all was quiet for half a minute and then all five ponies heard a distant sound, as if someone had thrown a faraway rock onto a faraway bed of sand, a sound they only could have heard had they been listening intently.

"Sw-eet!" Rainbow Dash dove in after Pinkie Pie, shaking the tree.

"Wait!" Twilight called.

"Ah think we should follow them." Applejack said cautiously.

"We should." Twilight slowly lowered herself into the opening. "Come on, girls." She flew down, followed by Applejack, who jumped. Rarity sighed.

"I do hope it's clean down there." Rarity said before jumping in after Applejack.


Fluttershy poked one hoof into the opening. "Is it safe, Angel Bunny?" She asked. Her bunny shook his head. Fluttershy looked in the tree. "Ok. Mama can do this." Fluttershy held her breath and jumped in. And screamed.

She didn't hit the ground. She had time to stretch her wings like a parachute and float on the drafts in the pitch-black tunnel. She clutched Angel Bunny like a security blanket. Angel Bunny clutched her. Flutteshy could feel Angel's heart humming against her wing.

"There's Fluttershy!" She heard Rarity say. She didn't see anything but blackness.

She finally hit the ground, and the cavern lit up. She looked around at the sparkling jewels, the incense burner, the small pond, and the empty pulpit.

"What- what is this place?" She asked timidly, shaking her hair over her face.

"Our secret cavern!" Pinkie said. "After we save the world."

"What in the hay are you saying?"Applejack asked. "Save the world?"

"Yep!" Pinkie said blithely. "I exploded a book that was here and released an evil spirit that threatens to turn the whole WORLD into King Sombra or Nightmare Moon! And every other world... In every universe." Pinkie trailed off, seeing her friends' looks of fear.

"What?!" Applejack exclaimed.

Fluttershy was cowering into Twilight. Angel was leaning on Fluttershy.

"What?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, a beat after Applejack. "You what?"

"Rainbow," Twilight said, "Pinkie didn't mean to. She saw a book she thought I might like. If she'd looked inside, it would have corrupted her and destroyed the world even quicker. Equestria would be helpless without the Element of Laughter."

"Sure, sure." Rainbow Dash said, waving her hoof in the air. "Okay, so what do we need to do? Take out the elements, you say a spell, all done?"

"No." Twilight answered. "I've been doing research, and we need to actually go do something. I've found a spell to locate the evil spirit and capture it, but there's an artifact we need first. I can locate this as well, but getting it might be difficult. Are you ready?" She looked at her gathered friends.

"No!" Fluttershy exclaimed loudly from under Twilight's wing. Everypony looked at her. "I mean... O-Okay." Twilight could feel her friend shaking.

"It'll be alright, Fluttershy. We're all together."

"Okay." Fluttershy whispered. She touched Angel bunny with her wing. "Stay close to Mama, Angel."

Twilight transported the Elements of Harmony to the cavern. They zoomed in, one after the other, a rainbow of crystals that shone brighter even than the cavern. "Put 'em on, girls." Twilight said, putting on her own tiara.

Pinkie Pie looked around at all of her bestest friends ever. They all wore their elements bravely. Fluttershy had come out from under Twilight's wing and stood with her head up. Rainbow dash was grinning, confident in her ability to save the world. Applejack looked more concerned, but she, too, had confidence in her stance. Rarity had the look of a dramatic heroine; Head up and slightly to the side, flowing mane and tail, one hoof up delicately. Twilight looked serious and focused, performing magic. She united the Elements' glows and they met above the ponies' heads. Pinkie loved the happy tingly feeling she got under her element when Twilight did that. The elements met and each mare heard a voice in her head.

'Go to a land where you ne'er been
Where they walk on but two legs

Go to a land that isn't your kin
Far away
Where spirit lurks

Go to Earth
Go To Earth!'

The light disappeared and their heads sapped up in unison. They looked at each other in silence. Then Applejack spoke up.
"What'n the hay is Earth?"


"Earth (also see 'human', 'people', television'): A mythical land where two-legged creatures called 'humans' live. The ponies there are unintelligent and dully colored, ranging in shades of brown, grey, white, black and a very pale blue." Twilight read Celestia's 'Dictionary of the Obscure' aloud to her friends. "Ponies have, in many events, claimed to have visited earth and taken the form of a human. they blend in to their surroundings and live there until they return to Equestria." She shut the book and looked in the same direction as everypony else in the room: At a wiggling Pinkie Pie.

"Earth!" Pinkie exclaimed. "There was a very old pony I met once who said he'd gone to a place called Nerth at the time of the Griffin Wars!" Pinkie began to jump around, her legs close together. "Earth! Earth! Earth!"

"What happen'd to him?" Applejack asked. Pinkie Pie stopped jumping.

"He went crazy!" She said cheerfully. Applejack sighed.

"I had an injured bird once." Fluttershy offered softly. "She babbled about a place where there are iron monsters. She said she came through a sparkly window." Fluttershy shuddered. "She told me that most humans are evil and try to scare birds away and that there's no food." Fluttershy lowered her normally soft voice until it was almost inaudible. "Then she died."

Rainbow stretched her wings. She was lying down on top of a bookcase, disregarding the fact they were in the royal library. "I say we go anyway. I mean, who'd want to be the ponies who were too scared to save the world?" She yawned and lazily floated down like an autumn leaf on the wind.

Rarity looked at her. "I quite agree, darling. Still, iron monsters? How awful sounding." She looked sternly at Rainbow Dash. "And do try to be a bit more considerate, Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy, that poor little bird!" Rarity shook her head. Pinkie Pie mimicked her.

"Earth! Like Earth pony! Maybe there aren't any pegasi... or unicorns... or alicorns... Or anything there but EARTH ponies! EARTH PONIES!" Pinkie Pie jumped over Applejack. "Hmm, AJ? What if what if what if what if what if-"

"I trust you have found all the information you need?" A carrying voice spoke from the doorway.

"Princess- I mean, Luna!" Twilight blushed; She kept forgetting she was allowed to omit the 'princess' when speaking to another alicorn. "I still can't find anything on how to get to Earth." She pointed her head at the pile of books she'd looked through while her friends discussed Earth. Luna looked at them .

"I see." A smile tugged at the corner of the older alicorn's mouth. "Twilight, these are all books accessible to anypony with advanced training! You need a book belonging solely to Celestia. Or, in this case, to me." Luna transported a thick purple book to the library with magic. Twilight looked at the title, engraved in silver.

"A Guide to Earth: All About the Secret Land of Humans." Twilight looked up. "So... It's a secret?"

"Yes." Luna answered. "As you can see by the title."

"Duh." Rainbow Dash threw in for good measure. Luna looked at her. "I mean, er, Duh, Twilight."

Twilight opened the book. "Thanks so much!"

Luna nodded. "Well then." She looked down. "You can have it. Keep it safe." She whispered, and with a drop of shining silver on Twilight's coat that may have been a tear, disappeared. Twilight looked at the title page. There was no title. Instead, in elegant handwriting, Twilight saw a message.

My dearest Luna,
Treasure this book, and hide it from prying eyes. As of now, Equestria is not ready for this knowledge. Perhaps you shall live to see the day where they can handle it, but alas, I believe I shall not.
I considered entrusting This book to your sister, but no; In her generosity, she may give out the secrets inside to all. You, my more selfish child, are (In this case) More trustworthy.
So hold this book closely. None can read it but alicorns, so as long as your sister never sees it, it shall be safe.
Happy birthday, my dear.
Love,
Mommy