The Mane 7 were on a train bound for Appleoosa. Applejack had brought a tree called Bloomberg, which was resting in the caboose.
“Say Applejack” said Twilight, “How long can trees survive after they’ve been uprooted?”
“Long enough ta make it to Appleoosa” she said impatiently, “why what’s with all th’ questions?”
“I just thought you were supposed to put the tree in a pot or something.”
“Fine, ya got me” said Applejack sarcastically, “ah’m goin’ ta Appleoosa ta have a roll in th’ hay with Braeburn, and ah ripped up one of mah trees, and rented out an entire train car just ta have a cover story.”
“Alright, alright” said Twilight, “I believe you, you’re going to Appleoosa to plant a tree in Braeburn’s orchard.”
Rarity snickered, “And maybe Braeburn will plant his seed in your orchard.”
The others burst out laughing. Suddenly, they felt a large jolt, and were thrown against the side of the car. They hurried outside just in time to see Little Strongheart making off with the caboose car.
“Oh no Appejack, your tree!” cried Fluttershy.
“Whatever... ah mean, oh no, that tree is very important.” replied Applejack.
Rainbow Dash and Cassandra took off after the hijacking buffalo, but Rainbow Dash hit her head on a signpost and was down for the count. Cassandra deftly avoided it and continued hot on Little Strongheart’s trail.
“Don’t follow me” she called to her friends, “I’ve got this under control! Trust me!”
She and Little Strongheart disappeared into the distance.
*****
The rest of the ponies got into town, with Braeburn waiting at the train station.
“Welcome to Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapleoosa!” he said, “Let me show y’all around town!”
“Ah think they can find their own way” interrupted Applejack, “ah have important things to discuss with ya. Ah brought th’ apple tree fer yer orchard.”
“Er what tree?” said Braeburn, confused. Applejack elbowed him in the ribs, “Oh, ah remember, th’ tree that ah I asked you ta bring, which is th’ reason y’all came here. We should discuss it, in mah bedroom.” The duo of Apples hurriedly excused themselves.
“What are we going to do about the buffalo?” asked Rarity.
“We should send two ambassadors to work this out peacefully,“ said Twilight Sparkle, “we don’t want to startle or anger them, so I believe that Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are the most prudent choices.”
“Aw yeah, gonna kick me some buffalo ass!” declared Rainbow Dash
Pinkie Pie’s saddlebags exploded with streamers and confetti.
“Whoopsie daisy," said Pinkie Pie, "I think I added a liiiiiittle too much gunpowder. Oh well, that probably won’t happen again.”
“Good luck you two” said Fluttershy.
*****
It was nightfall, and at the buffalo camp, Little Strongheart and Cassandra were sitting alone on a clff overlooking the full moon. Strongheart was telling Cassandra about the conflict between the buffalo and the Appleoosians,
“Our tribe’s stampeding ground was taken over by the ponies for their apple trees. It didn’t occur to us to say anything until the trees had grown big enough to be a problem. The ponies said something about Eminem’s domain, and it’s true, the trees are very slim and shady, but that’s no excuse to take land that doesn’t belong to them!”
“Can’t you stampede somewhere else?” asked Cassandra
“It’s tradition to stampede there” objected Strongheart
“Progressive societies aren’t burdened by tradition” said Cassandra, “that ground is fertile and soft, not practical for running.”
“What do you know about progressive society?” asked the young buffalo derisively.
“I’ll have you know, I convinced the mayor to take down all the “Equines Only” signs in Ponyville”
Strongheart snuggled closer to Cassandra. “You’re so noble!” she said admiringly, “perhaps we were wrong about you ponies. Peace pipe?” she asked, extending the feathered calumet
“No thank you, smoking is bad for your health”
“Beautiful, brave, and so wise!” squee’d the young buffalo. She blushed and turned her face away. “Miss Cassandra?” she started uneasily, “I’ve never kissed anyone before. Will you help me practice kissing?”
“It would be my honor.”
*****
The morning sun rose on an increasingly-desperate Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Having left the town with no sense of direction and no idea which way to the buffalo camp, they had inevitably gotten lost. They’d run out of water, and were practically crawling on the ground. Thier voices were crackly and raspy
“Heeey Celestia” said Pinkie Pie, ‘how’s about keeping the sun down a few more hours?”.
“Pinkie, stop eating dirt” rasped Rainbow Dash to her friend, who had begun digging her head into the desert floor.
“But it’s got water in it” objected Pinkie Pie
“we… we should have listened to Cassandra” Rainbow Dash choked out, beginning to fade. From afar, a voice called out,
“Yes. Yes you should have.”
“Cassandra!” the dehydrated duo cried out.
“Let’s get you back to town.”
“Practice….kissing?” asked Rainbow Dash
“Later” said Cassandra, “you don’t look like you can spare the saliva.”
*****
Cassandra got a hero’s welcome when she arrived in town. She had used a cloning spell to create in identical patch of land next to the Appleoosian orchard that the buffalo could stampede on. Her diplomacy had settled the conflict once and for all; she had convinced the buffalo that ponies weren’t so bad.
“By the way, where’s Applejack?” asked Cassandra.
“She got run over while trying to retrieve a bit from the train tracks” said Rarity.
“She spent her whole life being poor, and it was the pursuit of money that killed her,” Twilight waxed poetically, “how ironic.”
“That’s not ironic, you moron.” said Cassandra.
Twilight was glad to have Cassandra as a friend, she was such a compendium of knowledge.