My Little Investigations: The Silent Dirge

by Metool Bard

Fine Country Folk

It was still rather early in the morning, so I didn't expect to see many ponies on the convention floor. When we reached our floor and the elevator doors opened, I was quickly proven wrong. It wasn't crowded by any stretch of the imagination, but there were still plenty of ponies bustling about doing this that and the other. Some were putting on small performances, while others were having lively conversations. I'm not sure whether to be happy or worried about this. I see why Slick Licks would want to keep the festival going, and I share his sentiments. However, I also know that there's someone aiming to kill everypony here for practicing their art.

"Well, I'd better go check on my equipment," said Vinyl. "I'll let you know if I find anything."

"Right, sure," I said, dipping my voice. "But please, don't let everypony know that we're investigating this."

"I, wasn't planning on it, Octy," said Vinyl with a shrug. "Anyway, seeya!"

Before I could say anything else, Vinyl was off like a shot. I sighed. While Vinyl can be trusted with a secret, subtlety is not her strong suit. I really hope she knows what she's doing. Actually, I wonder that every day. It's honestly difficult to tell with her.

"Tavia!"

No sooner had Vinyl run off than I was subsequently greeted by none other than Fiddlesticks. Although she looked rather cheery, I could detect a bit of concern in her voice.

"Oh, hello Fiddle," I said.

"Hey," said Fiddlesticks, brushing the back of her foreleg and casting her eyes downward. "Listen, um, how are ya holdin' up?"

I bit my lip. I was planning on getting Fiddlesticks in on this, but I couldn't tell her about my suspicions in public.

"I'm, still a bit shaken," I said. "Although Vinyl's okay, thank Celestia."

"She is? Aw, phew," said Fiddlesticks, breathing a sigh of relief. "Ah was worried she had t'go to the hospital or sumthin'."

"No, she's fine. Although she has no idea what happened last night," I said.

"Yeah, that couldn't 'ave been intentional," Fiddlesticks mused. "Still, that set sure was sumthin'. Ah mean, did ya hear that first song? Hoo-wee~! Now that's how ya open a music festival!"

"I couldn't agree more," I said with a smile. "Although to be honest, I didn't know you liked that kind of music."

"Hey, music's music, Tavia," Fiddlesticks said with a shrug. "Ah jus' know what Ah like."

You know, it's things like this that remind me that Fiddlesticks is indeed my twin sister. Otherwise, we really do live in two separate worlds.

"Actually, it's quite refreshing to hear that," I said. "I just had a bit of a, discussion with Symphony. It turns out she wasn't too keen on Vinyl's set."

Fiddlesticks stroked her chin in thought. "Symphony, Symphony... Isn't she one of them violinists scheduled to perform?"

"Yes. She's, also a bit of a music snob," I said. "Trust me, Fiddle. While she's very talented, I don't think you two would get along at all."

"Well, that's a shame," said Fiddlesticks. "I thought it'd be nice to chat up a violinist, what with me bein' a fiddle player an' all. Sure am glad Kazooie an' Pitch Perfect ain't like that."

Just then, her expression lit up like a Hearth's Warming tree. "Speakin' of which, y'all plannin' on doin' anythin' right now?"

"Not exactly," I said. "Why?"

"Well, why don't Ah introduce ya to Kazooie an' Pitch Perfect?" suggested Fiddlesticks. "Ah already told 'em all about ya, an' they'd really like to meet ya in person. At least Pitch does; Kazooie's got other stuff on his mind. This is his first time in the big city, y'know."

"I see," said I. "Well, I'd be delighted to meet them."

"Alright!" Fiddlesticks cheered. "C'mon, they're waitin' in the studio!"

Fiddlesticks immediately took off, and I was right at her heels. While I still had the mystery in the back of my mind, I figured it was best to take things as the came. After all, it would look rather silly if I spent the entire festival fretting over something that nopony else really knew about.

"Hey there, Octavia! Fancy seeing you here."

When we arrived at the studio, I was greeted by somepony I didn't expect to be there: Lyra Heartstrings. I believe I mentioned her a few times before already. She's a minstrel in Ponyville, and she's actually a good friend of mine, as well as a fan of my work. I've heard her play while she was on tour (in the, loosest sense of the phrase), and she is perhaps one of the best lyrists in Equestria. She was sitting on a chair off to the side and waving at me.

"I could actually say the same thing, Lyra," I said, returning her wave. "I thought this studio was occupied."

"Mmm? Oh, I'm not getting in the way of anything," said Lyra. "I'm just hanging out with my fellow Ponyville musicians."

She pointed at two unfamiliar ponies standing in the center of the room. One was a serious-looking brown stallion wearing a tall blue hat and a yellow bandana. He had a piece of straw in his mouth and a banjo in his hooves. The other was a blue mare that looked suspiciously like Beauty Brass. She had a golden yellow mane, a Cutie Mark depicting a silver eighth-note, and she wore a red stetson with a flower in it as well as a harness holding a harmonica.

"Tavia, these here are Kazooie an' Pitch Perfect; the premier bluegrass musicians of Ponyville," said Fiddlesticks. "Fellas, this here is mah sister Octavia."

The stallion looked at me, then over at Fiddlesticks, then back at me.

"Fiddle says you play the cello," he grumbled.

"Yes, that's correct." I said.

"Then why's your Cutie Mark a treble clef like hers is?"

I, actually get this question a lot. Especially from ponies meeting me for the first time. Truth be told, the confusion is understandable, considering a cello's range.

"Well, actually, I'm proficient in all sorts of string instruments," I said. "I just, happen to prefer the cello is all."

"Huh. Interestin'," said the stallion. "I can relate, actually. Ponies always wonder why I play the banjo if my name's Kazooie. Fact is I jus' play both the banjo and the kazoo."

"I see," said I. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to your performance at the festival."

Kazooie raised an eyebrow. "Y'are? I didn't know fancy ponies like you listened to our stuff."

"Do ya have to be so blunt about it, Kazooie?" the mare with the harmonica scolded. She then turned to me. "A thousand pardons, Ms. Octavia. Kazooie here doesn't know how to deal with city folk."

"It's, quite alright, Miss, Perfect, was it?" I said.

"Call me Pitch," said Pitch Perfect. "Ms. Perfect makes me sound like some high falutin' bigwig who's too big for her britches."

"Right, sorry," I said. "Anyway, I enjoy all sorts of music, although I still prefer classical."

"Is that right?" said Kazooie thoughtfully.

"Indeed," I said with a nod.

Kazooie's lips curled into a thin smile. "Yep, she's yer sister alright, Fiddle," he said with a snicker. "Sorry I misjudged you there, Ms. Octavia."

"Don't worry about it. I understand," I said. "So, you're both from Ponyville?"

"Sure are," said Pitch. "We were actually surprised when we were invited to perform at this here festival. We're pretty small-time compared to some of the other ponies here." She then stifled a chuckle. "Really small-time, actually."

"Oh? How so?" I asked.

"Kazooie and Pitch have only performed in Ponyville before this," said Fiddlesticks. "It's one of the reasons Ah haven't officially joined up with 'em. Ah like the freedom of travelin' around."

"And sleepin' next to skunk dens, apparently," added Kazooie.

Fiddlesticks gave Kazooie a dirty look. "You're jus' never gonna let that go, are ya?"

"Don't see no reason to," said Kazooie with a shrug.

"Alright, knock it off you two," said Pitch with a sigh. "So, Ms. Octavia. Fiddle says you've got your own band, too."

"Actually, it's an ensemble," Lyra corrected.

Kazooie blinked. "A what?"

"An ensemble," Lyra repeated.

Kazooie snorted. "Beggin' your pardon, Lyra, but I don't speak 'fancy.'"

"Look, that's just what she likes to call it. Don't argue with her," said Lyra.

Kazooie sighed and turned back to me. "Eh, you city slickers gotta have a fancy word for everythin', doncha?"

"I, suppose," I said. Really, you can't answer a question like that without coming off as insulting. Kazooie seems like a bright fellow, but I can only imagine how uncomfortable he is; being surrounded by a culture he barely knows. "Anyway, yes, I do perform with an ensemble. They're all very talented and very good friends of mine."

"Yeah, they're a nice bunch," said Fiddlesticks. "Had the pleasure of havin' dinner with 'em last night. Ah think you'd like that Frederick guy, Kazooie. You two have a lot in common."

"I'll take your word for it," said Kazooie. "So, Fiddle. You ready to practice?"

"Ready as Ah'll ever be," said Fiddlesticks, taking out her violin. "How 'bout y'all stick around an' watch, Tavia?"

"Sounds good," I said, taking a seat next to Lyra. As Kazooie and her band prepped their instruments, Lyra turned to me.

"Hey, could you let Vinyl know that she rocked last night?" she asked. "Also, give her my well wishes."

"Actually, she's doing just fine, thank Celestia," I said. "You can go tell her yourself if you want."

Lyra brushed the back of her mane sheepishly. "Actually, I'm kinda hiding out in here."

I tilted my head. "Hiding? From what?"

"It's a who, actually," said Lyra with a pout. "Some talent scout wants to sign me up for a contract. Says he'll make me a star or some such crap."

I then remembered the argument Bon-Bon had with that talent scout a few hours ago at Au Bon Pony. "You're not interested, I take it?"

"I'll admit, it's kinda tempting," said Lyra. "But still, I know if I go through with this, it'll upset Bon-Bon. I don't wanna hurt her, y'know?"

"Well, if you don't feel that strongly about it, you can just say no," I said.

"Yeah, that's not gonna do any good. I already tried last night when he first came to me," Lyra huffed. "He can't take 'no' for an answer."

Just then, I realized that something didn't make sense. I remember the talent scout telling Bon-Bon that he didn't have a chance to talk to Lyra. But here Lyra was, saying the exact opposite. Quite curious.

"Are you sure you told him?" I inquired.

"Positive," said Lyra. "Bons can vouch for me."

Odd. If that were the case, why didn't Bon-Bon bring it up in the argument? Mmm, maybe I'm overthinking it. It's not really my business, and despite what Vinyl says, I have my doubts that it connects to the death threats.

"Well, I hope you're not planning on just hiding in here and waiting for him to go away," I said. "This isn't like you, Lyra."

"I know. I just need a moment to think," said Lyra. "I gotta come up with a way to say I'm not interested without clocking that jackass in the face."

Just then, the door to the studio burst open, and what appeared to be a drunken donkey with a flask around his neck stumbled in. Yes, I'm dead serious. I know this sounds like some sort of comedy sketch, but this is actually happening. My life can get pretty crazy sometimes.

"Um, no offense," said Lyra, who was just as confused as the rest of us.

"A fench?" slurred the donkey as he got to his feet. "I thought thish wash a mushic feshtivel. Why are ya ashking me about a fench?"

"Uh, never mind," said Lyra. "Sheesh, what's up with this guy?"

"Hey, y'all lost or sumethin'?" asked Fiddlesticks. "'Cause, y'know, we're tryin' to practice here."

"Losht? Nah I'm-I'm good," said the donkey, swaying back and forth. "J-jusht gotta find, you know, that guy. The guy with the, flutey thingie."

"That's, not a whole lot to go on, bucko," said Kazooie. "Could ya be more specific?"

"You know, that guy," said the donkey. "H-he'sh got theesh hoovesh..."

"Everyone here has hooves," I said, rolling my eyes.

"No, he'sh only got two of 'em," said the donkey.

I slapped my forehead. This wasn't getting anywhere.

"Silenus! Silenus? Draaat it aaall, where's you run off to this tiiime?"

The donkey spun around, and we were suddenly in the presence of a rather peeved-looking satyr. I recognized him right away. The brown fur, his short billy goat beard, and the telltale panpipes he wore around his neck could only mean one thing: It was none other than Pan, the great minstrel.

"Oh~. Pan! Th-there you are," said the donkey. "Sh-shorry about interrupting yer practiching, folksh. I got kinda losht."

Pan sighed and shook his head. "Silenus, I thought you promised me you wouldn't overindulge while we were aaat the festivaaal."

"I-I shwear, Pan! I-I haven't taken a shingle drink shinche we got here," said Silenus.

If he's telling the truth there, then I'm the queen of Prance. I know a drunk pony when I see one; I'm pretty sure I can recognize drunk donkey, too.

Then, something else came to mind. I remember that Sapphire Shores mentioned Pan seeing something during Vinyl's set last night. This was probably going to be my best chance to find out what he knew.

"If you keep aaacting like this, I won't let you aaaccompaaany me here," said Pan sternly. "Come aaalong now. Let's get you some coffee. A thousaaand paaardons, everypony."

"Ain't yer fault," said Fiddlesticks. "Jus', if he's gonna do that again, make sure he knocks first."

"Or, y'know, doesn't do it at all?" said Pitch, giving Fiddlesticks a look.

Fiddlesticks chuckled and shrugged. "Ah'd be lyin' if Ah said Ah didn't find it a little funny."

I think Fiddlesticks is alone on that one, but only because Vinyl's not here.

"I'll, keep thaaat in mind," said Pan. "Come aaalong, Silenus."

"Mmm. C-coming," mumbled Silenus as he staggered after his friend.

"Oooookay then," said Kazooie. "Let's start this properly, shall we?"

"Sure thing, Kazooie," said Pitch, blowing into her harmonica.

"Right-o, then," said Fiddlesticks, raising her bow and tapping her foot. "A-one, a-two, a-one-two-three-four..."

And with that, they launched into their practicing session. I decided to stick around and listen instead of immediately running after Pan. I didn't want to be rude to Fiddlesticks, after all, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in hearing them play. Besides, it shouldn't be that hard to find a satyr in a festival full of ponies.

...

I just jinxed myself, didn't I? Ugh, I bloody hope not. That's the last thing I need at this juncture.