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// Felix's Most Embarrassing Moment 
// Story: Equestria is a Silly Place 
// by Bootsy Slickmane 
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	No more oats. No more carrots. No more apples. His pantry was devoid of any and all food. This was the moment Felix had been dreading, for it meant he would have to buy more food. It meant that he would have to shop. It meant he would have to go outside.

Felix audibly whimpered at the idea, for his social ineptitude was downright cringe-worthy and he knew it. He would always say the wrong thing to the wrong pony or hoof-bump with the wrong hoof. Even when he just did his shopping in silence and avoided unnecessary contact with anypony he would trip over his hooves or accidentally pay the wrong amount.

He gazed at his saddlebags with apprehension, not looking forward to the journey into the world outside his small wooden home. For a moment, he considered starving to death instead. It might be less painful than yet another faux pas. He sighed after a few minutes, knowing he would end up getting desperate and going out for food at some point, and the stress by then would only cause him to screw up even worse. He put on his saddlebags.

His hooves carried him along the road toward the Town Square, where most of the market stalls had been built. The stress was already getting to him, though he did not sweat. It wasn't just social blunders he feared. No, he feared for his secret. He had feared for years that somepony would discover his terrible secret. That somepony would find out that he was not a normal pony. He prayed to Celestia each day that nopony would learn of his secret, for he would surely be seen as an abomination.

His breathing quickened as the marketplace came into view. He tried to calm himself by thinking of serene things, but he knew it was of no use. Something terrible was going to happen and he was sure of it. He headed to the closest stall that had edible things for sale, eager to get his shopping done quickly to minimize the chances of doing something embarrassing.

The red-maned Earth pony (whom he knew to be called Rose) smiled politely at him as he approached. He tried to smile back, but he was sure he looked like a creep or an idiot. Maybe both.

He attempted to speak as he pointed his hoof at various flowers, but his order only came out as a barely-audible mumbling. Rose smiled sweetly at him, seeing and understanding that calling him "painfully shy and awkward" was an understatement. She gathered up the flowers he pointed out and was placing them into a sack when one of Felix's ears twitched. Somewhere to his left was an odd buzzing sound.

He turned toward the noise, curious and more than a little worried about it being a swarm of parasprites, and saw that the source of the buzzing was barreling down a side street toward him. He dove out of the way as Scootaloo, the local pint-sized daredevil, zipped past on her scooter.

Felix fell against the rough boards of the flower stand. A sharp splinter dug into and tore open his fake skin, causing spaghetti to fall out of his pony-shaped costume. Felix shuffled his hooves around in the dirt and noodles in a panicked attempt to put the pasta back into his pony suit, but the sound of a gasping mare brought his attention upward to the flower stand. The look of horror on Rose's face was far worse than anything Felix could have imagined. His secret was all over the ground for everypony to see. The pony-shaped cluster of animated Italian noodles turned and galloped away, tomato sauce leaking from his eyes as he cried from the sheer embarrassment and utter failure that his shopping trip had become.

Rose watched him flee, a single word escaping her cream-colored lips. "What?"