The Secret of Manehattan Mall

by Dee Pad

Part 3 - The Twist

Rainbow Dash planted her rear hooves firmly on the floor, pulling with all her might to pry the double doors open.  Fluttershy was contributing anything she could by tugging her friend’s tail.  The chromatic pegasus lost her grip on the handles, causing her to tumble backward into Fluttershy and the two rolled a few feet before collapsing onto the tile floor, the yellow pegasus draped over Rainbow Dash’s back.

“No good,” Dash sighed.  “The doors are locked tight.”

“Does that mean we’re...”  Fluttershy gulped.  “...trapped?”

“Afraid so.”

Fluttershy got back to her hooves, allowing her friend to do the same.  “W-What’s gonna happen to us?” she whimpered.

“Nothings gonna happen.  We’re just...stuck for a while, that’s all.  At least until we figure some way out ourselves.”  Rainbow Dash began to wrack her brain over potential escape routes that she might have noticed in passing as she explored the mall earlier.  “I guess if all else fails we can just bust through the doors.”

Fluttershy shook her head.  “I don’t think that’s gonna work.  I hit those doors pretty hard earlier and didn’t leave even a tiny crack.”  The parrot atop her head whistled in affirmation.

“Then we’ll just find another way out.  It can’t be that difficult.”

“Are you loco in the coco?!”

The two pegasi turned to their pink friend, who, up until this point, had been surprisingly quiet and who had happened to pack a headlamp in her saddlebags, illuminating the surrounding area.  Pinkie Pie poked Rainbow Dash firmly in the nose and glared harshly at her.

“Do you have any idea what’s happening right now?”

Rainbow Dash blinked uncomprehendingly, partly at her friend’s rhetorical question and partly from the bright light shining in her face.

“We are locked in Manehattan Mall,” Pinkie Pie stated simply and slowly.  “Mane.  Hattan.  Mall!  All alone.  Just the three of us.  In Manehattan Mall!”  She began hopping to and fro frantically.  “We’re like foals in a candy store!  We can do whatever we want!  No rules!  Nopony to tell us what we can and can’t do!  Nopony to tell you you’re too big for the bouncy castle!”

“Oh no no no,” Fluttershy said, shaking her head rapidly.  “We can’t, it’s illegal.  Technically we’re trespassing right now.”

Pinkie Pie hopped over to the meek pegasus.  “Technically they locked us in here.  It’s their fault,” she corrected with a smirk.  “The mall is our oyster, Fluttershy!  And there’s a bazillion pearls inside!  We can make the world’s biggest, most expensive-est necklace!”

“Squrawk!  Oyster!”

“Great!  Glad you could see things my way, Fluttershy,” Pinkie Pie said with a nod.

“Huh?  But I didn’t—”

“What about you, Dashie?” she asked, turning to Rainbow Dash.  “You know when there’s adventure to be had.  Obviously you, of all ponies, would never turn down an opportunity like this, right?”

Rainbow Dash hummed in consideration.  “I-I dunno.”

Pinkie Pie balked at her friend’s hesitance.

“Look, I know you’re right,” Rainbow Dash admitted, “but Fluttershy’s got a point too.  I invited you guys out here, so it’s my responsibility to make sure nothing bad happens.  That’s probably how Twilight would look at it, and I think this might count as something bad.”

Pinkie Pie stared Rainbow Dash square in the eyes.  “And it’s also your responsibility to ensure your guests have a good time, right?”

The pegasus gulped.  “Uh, yeah?”

The earth pony smiled.  “Good.  Then it’s settled.”  Pinkie started hopping back towards the mall’s depths without any explanation.

“Hey, where are you going?!” Rainbow Dash shouted after her.  “This isn’t settled!  I didn’t agree to anything!”

Pinkie Pie stopped and began hopping backwards until she was next to Rainbow Dash again.  She let out a remorseful sigh.  “Rainbow Dash, would you really want us to waste an opportunity like this?  Locked in Manehattan Mall with all of its amazingly stupendulous marvelosity?  Something like this only happens once in a blue moon!  When’s the last time the moon was blue?  Huh?  Huh?!”

“Last June,” the pegasus stated matter-of-factly.  “You know, the Cobalt Moon Festival.”

Pinkie Pie blinked.  “Oh yeah.”  She peeked out of the glass doors and glanced up at the moon.  It wasn’t blue.  She shrugged.  “Still though.”

Rainbow Dash breathed a defeated sigh.  “Okay, okay, you’ve made your point.  I guess it’s not such a big deal.  We can hang out here, have a little extra fun, and just leave when somepony shows up to reopen the place.  No fuss.”

“Exactamundo!” Pinkie Pie declared in exuberance.  “So, we’ll all meet back at the fountain again?”

“Sounds good,” Rainbow Dash agreed with a nod.

“W-Wait!  Don’t I get a say in this?”

The pair turned to Fluttershy who had been quietly standing off to the side for a while.

“I don’t want us to separate again.  It’s dark now, and it’s...scary,” she whined.

“No problemo, Fluttermigo.”  Pinkie Pie dug through her saddlebags and fished out three more headlamps, slapping them on both of her friends’ heads and a smaller one on the parrot’s head.  “There.  That should keep any ghastly ghouls from bothering you.  Besides, you won’t be alone.  You’ve got your little buddy there, right?” she said, pointing to the bird.  “Fluttershy and Fluttershy.  Like a law firm, but awesomer.  And more adorable!”

Fluttershy glanced up at her new friend.  The bird was swinging its head back and forth as if to try and understand where the new light source was coming from.  The meek pegasus smiled.  “I guess you have a point.”

“Right!” Pinkie Pie blurted, thrusting a hoof in the air.  “Then if that’s all settled, we’ll meet up at the fountain when the sun starts a-risin’!”

Without another moment’s hesitation, Pinkie Pie was off.  Her friends watched until the light of her headlamp disappeared around a corner.

Rainbow Dash turned to Fluttershy with a reassuring grin.  “For the record, there are no ghastly ghouls.”

The cyan mare spread her wings and took to the air, leaving the two Fluttershys to their own devices.

“I guess it won’t be so bad,” Fluttershy said to herself.  She looked up to the bird on her head.  “What do you say, Fluttershy?  Want to go visit your old friends from the pet store?”

The parrot whistled and flapped its wings enthusiastically.  Fluttershy giggled and began her trek back to the pet store, a newfound confidence welling within her.

With a forceful kick, Rainbow Dash bucked open the doors of the mall’s indoor stadium.  She trotted inside with a confident gait as if her earlier victory here was proof of her superiority and thus made her the rightful ruler of the stadium. She looked around the enormous room as best she could.  The place was pitch black now; even with the headlamp her friend provided her with, she couldn’t even see the opposite wall.

“Hmm, this won’t do,” the mare mused.

After a quick fly-around, Rainbow Dash located a room at the back of the stadium.  Inside she found the switch for the lights.  With an echoing, mechanical click, the whole stadium was illuminated.

“That’s better.”

Satisfied that her domain was sufficiently lit, she sought out the equipment closet and retrieved a single cloudball ball.  Rainbow Dash glided up to the center of the field, the events of the day racing through her head once more, especially the looks on those punks’ faces after she single-hoofedly schooled them.

She flicked the ball between her hooves a few times, confirming that it had enough air and didn’t need pumping.  She twirled it absentmindedly on one hoof.  Her record was three hundred and seventy-five rotations, but she had no intention of attempting to break it, at least not now anyway.

Rainbow Dash held the ball in her hooves as if she were preparing to pass it to somepony.  Squinting her eyes, she looked off into the distance, seemingly looking at nothing.

“Rainbow Dash has the ball, but the opposition is closing in fast.  She has no choice but to pass it off.  She pulls back...”  Rainbow Dash hurled the ball with great force and a perfect spin.  “The ball is airborne!  It’s a mad dash to receive!”  With a forceful flap of her wings, she bolted forward, racing underneath the ball’s arc, and stopping in its predicted path.  “The catch is...good!” she exclaimed as she caught the ball, cradling it in her foreleg.  “But her opponents are on her tail.  She’s gonna have to pull out all the stops to make this one count.”

Rainbow Dash soared toward the goal posts just ahead of her, performing several unnecessary rolls and loops, before finally flying through.

“And it’s over!  Rainbow Dash seizes an incredible victory!  The world has never seen such athleticism!  The crowd is going crazy!  Hah!  Hah!”  She cupped her hooves next to her mouth to simulate the roaring cheers of the crowd.

But she stopped.  Rainbow Dash looked around to see an empty stadium.  There was no crowd and there was no cheers.  She was all by herself.

She let the ball drop to the ground, letting out a disappointed sigh.  “Haaaah...”

The colossal, rainbow sign above was lit up by the pink pony’s headlamp, and her face was lit up with an eager grin.  Pinkie Pie had returned to the scene of the crime, and this time there was nopony to stop her.

Stepping inside Playground Paradise for the second time, Pinkie Pie removed her saddlebags and stuck her head into one of its pouches, pulling out between her teeth, some sort of remote control with only one, big, red button.  Taking the remote in one hoof, she raised her other over her head and, in an overly dramatic fashion, slapped her hoof onto the button.

Without any explanation as to why or how, the lights within the playground suddenly switched on, allowing the many bright colors to shine forth.  Pinkie Pie replaced the remote in her bags and set out towards her destination.

The earth pony halted, letting out a shocked gasp.  The bouncy castle had been deflated for the night and lay in a limp, rubber heap in the middle of the floor.

“Do I have to do everything around here?” she grumbled.

She approached the compressor that would normally be used to inflate the castle and analyzed it thoroughly.  “‘Estimated time to full inflation...ten minutes!?’  Who has that kind of time!?”

The party pony began fishing through her saddlebags once more, pulling out an average bicycle pump.  “Looks like we gotta do this the Saturday-morning-cartoon-way.”

She not-so-carefully unhooked the compressor from the castle and replaced it—rather forcefully—with the cord of the bicycle pump.  She grasped the pump’s handle and pulled it up as far as her hoof would allow, but paused before forcing it back down.

“Hmm...” she hummed, stroking her chin.  “Might need a little more.”

Looking around, Pinkie spotted the network of colorful tubes snaking around the room.  With a smile, she picked the pump up with her teeth and began to scale the outside of the pipes like a mountain goat until she reached the top.  She peered down at the floor a good fifty feet below and shrugged.  “Good enough.”

Standing on her hind legs with the handle of the pump firmly gripped by her front hooves, she let the body of the pump drop all the way to the floor where it landed with a resounding clang.

“One for the money.  Two for the show.  Three to get ready.  And four to go, go, go!”

Pinkie Pie leapt into the air and allowed herself to fall, holding the pump’s handle as if she were riding a zipline and using her full body weight to pull it down with her.  Her smile widened further and further the closer to the ground she got.  With a final downward thrust of her hooves, she slammed the handle against the pump as she reached ground level.

An enormous bubble of pressurized air shot through the pump’s cord toward the bouncy castle.  Upon entering the inflatable structure, its walls lurched outward and contorted in ways that it clearly wasn’t meant to before bouncing to a halt on the floor, fully inflated and ready to use.

“That’s better,” Pinkie Pie stated with satisfaction, letting the bicycle pump drop on the floor.  “Now then, we can get to the fun part.”

Without wasting another moment, the pink pony leapt into the air, landing squarely in the center of the castle.  She bounced up and down gleefully, performing flips, twirls, and somersaults to her heart’s content, laughing jovially the whole time.

“Whee!  Wahoo!  Bouncy castles are just the bestest, don’tcha think, everypony?”

Pinkie Pie stopped, landing firmly on the castle floor.  The only laughter she had heard was her own.  There was nopony else here to enjoy her antics and tomfoolery.  Her smile faded and she reluctantly stepped out of the castle.

“Haaah...”

Fluttershy slowly poked her head through the pet shop’s door and peered inside, her avian friend atop her head doing the same.  The place wasn’t entire dark; soft lights glowed from various places, mostly fish tanks, but it was enough to allow sufficient lighting to see where one was stepping.

Entering the store proper, Fluttershy casually cantered here and there eyeing all the different cuddly critters.  Though there were animals of all shapes and sizes, they all had one thing in common at the moment: they were sleeping rather soundly.

Fluttershy rubbed her chin as she thought about which animal she wanted to play with first.  “It’s really a tough choice, isn’t it?  Any suggestions?” she asked the second Fluttershy.

The bird didn’t respond.  It blinked slowly before tucking its head under its wing and nestling into Fluttershy’s mane.

The pegasus giggled.  “Serves you right for wearing yourself out today.  Guess I’ll just play with the animals myself.”

Seeing that she was nearby the puppy cage, she decided to pay the little hounds who were so grateful to her a visit.  Shining her headlamp into the cage, she spotted the three pups curled up together.  The sight was almost too cute for words.

One of the puppies opened their eyes, blinking and squinting at the bright light shining at it.

“Hello, little friend.  Remember me?” Fluttershy asked with a kind, unimposing smile.

The pup whined and curled back up, turning its back to Fluttershy to avoid the blinding light.

The mare frowned.  “I guess not.  I know I don’t really make a great impression, but you’d think someone would remember the person who helped them the way I did.”

Giving up on the puppies, Fluttershy turned her attention to the other animals.  Kittens; ferrets; guinea pigs; bunnies.  All of them reacted the same way.  They seemed more interested in sleeping away the few hours of privacy that the night provided them than actually making use of them.

“I don’t understand.  Usually animals are so friendly around me.  I know that they don’t know me very well, but I’d wager that I treat them better than anypony who comes in here, if those kids were any indication.”  She glanced up to the parrot once more.  “There your friends, right?  Maybe you can convince them to wake up and have a little fun.”

Once again, she received no response.  The bird simply sat there with its head tucked into its wing.

Fluttershy shook her head and opened the door to leave.  “Haaah...”

It seemed almost inconceivable that Manehattan Mall could be completely empty.  Just an hour ago its halls were teeming with ponies left and right.  There was hardly room to breathe.  Now it was just dark and silent.

And boring.

Rainbow Dash sighed as she traipsed back towards the fountain, her head hanging low.  Pinkie Pie had made a good argument.  The idea of having the entire place to themselves was too good to pass up.  Anypony else would have taken advantage of it as well.  So why was it so dull?

As Rainbow Dash heard the trickling water of the fountain enter her ears, she lifted her head and found a trio of lights gathered around it.  Her friends had also come back from wherever they had gone.

“I take it you girls were just as bored as me?” the cyan mare asked.

Pinkie Pie nodded her head in defeat.  “Yeah.  The whole point of having fun is to make other ponies smile and laugh.  But if there’s nopony around to share the laughs with, then its just not fun.”

Fluttershy nodded in agreement.  “I thought it would be nice to spend time with all of those animals.  I guess I was so caught up in my own thoughts of the things we could do and the new friends I could make that I didn’t even consider how they might feel.  With all the ponies and all the noise, nighttime is really the only chance they get to sleep.  I can’t believe I was so inconsiderate.”

Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her head.  “Yeah, and as it turns out, playing sports ain’t quite as fun when you don’t have any teammates.  Or an audience.  Or opponents.”

“So, what do we do now?” asked Fluttershy.  “Are we just going to wait until morning?”

Pinkie Pie plopped herself onto the floor with her hooves crossed under her chin, reluctant to accept that as an option, but realizing that they didn’t really have much choice.

“Actually,” Rainbow Dash started, a small grin appearing on her face, “I did a little thinking on the way back here and figured that maybe it’s about time to try Pinkie’s original plan.”

The earth pony sat up.  “My plan?  What plan?  I gots lots of plans.”

“The one where you suggested that we find something to do together,” Rainbow Dash clarified.  “We’ve got plenty of time to mess around in this place, so let’s just go find something to do.  Whaddaya say?”

“Dashie, that is the greatest plan ever!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.  “I’m glad I thought of it.”

Fluttershy tapped her chin in thought.  “But where should we go?  This place is really, really big.”

Rainbow Dash waved a hoof dismissively.  “Like I said, this is the original Pinkie Pie plan—”

“The O.G.P.P.P.!” the earth pony interrupted.

“—which involved wandering around aimlessly and hoping to come across something we can all enjoy.  So I say we do just that.”

Fluttershy nodded slightly.  “Okay, but where do we start?”

“This way!” both Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash said, pointing in opposite directions.  They stared at one another for a moment.  “Uh, that way!”  They pointed in the direction the other had been pointing.  The two shared confused glances.

“Why don’t we just go this way?” Fluttershy suggested, pointing to a path between where her companions had pointed.

The pair nodded their heads and pointed in the same direction as Fluttershy.  “That way!”

After several minutes of walking, they had yet to see anything that really caught their eye.  Rainbow Dash had taken to the air, scouring the upper levels for anything interesting but having no luck, while Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy remained at ground level, the latter keeping her peepers peeled.  The former, however, was too busy providing the dead air of the mall with rambling ambience.

“...and I had this one plan that involved brown sugar, some double A batteries and about two dozen kites.  Turns out though that kites and electricity don’t mix very well, but it was great for making my hair extra poofy.”

“How did you manage to fly two dozen kites?” Fluttershy asked as she continued to survey her surroundings.

“Lots of dexterity.”

“Uh huh,”  Fluttershy said absentmindedly, half-ignoring her friend.

The pink mare shrugged.  “That plan was a flop anyway.  But it gave me this great idea for a new type of hang glider.  See, you get as many kites as you can, tie ‘em all together, get a running start towards the cliff and—”

A sound echoed in the distance, like clacking upon the tile floor.  Fluttershy stopped in her tracks.  “W-What was that?”

“W-What was what?” Pinkie Pie repeated, tilting her head in confusion.

“I heard a sound.  D-Did you hear a sound?”

Pinkie perked up her ears for a moment.  “I d-did’t hear a sound.”

“It sounded like hoofsteps.”  Fluttershy whipped her head back and forth, her pupils shrinking dramatically.

Rainbow Dash flapped down to her two ground bound friends.  “Hey, what’s the holdup down here?”

“Fluttershy thought she heard something,” Pinkie Pie answered.

“Rainbow Dash, were you walking around up there?” Fluttershy asked shakily.

“Uh, no.  I’ve been in the air the whole time.  So unless it was my wing beats you heard, then it wasn’t me.”

“I-It sounded like somepony walking.  Hooves on a tile floor.”  Fluttershy’s eyes were darting around frantically.

“You sure it wasn’t your own hooves?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“No.  I-I mean yes, I’m sure.  It sounded like it was farther away,” she said, pointing towards the distant darkness.  “Y-You don’t think it’s a ghastly ghoul, do you?”

Rainbow Dash groaned and rubbed her temple.  “I already told you, there are no ghastly ghouls.  You’re just getting paranoid, Fluttershy.  You’re hearing things.”

“I dunno, Dash,” Pinkie Pie interjected, “there can be some weeeeird stuff roaming around this place in the dark.”

Fluttershy scampered behind Rainbow Dash, her knees visibly shaking.

“You’re not helping, Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash deadpanned.  She turned to her frightened friend.  “Look, if it makes you feel any more comfortable, I’ll stay down here with you guys, okay?”

Fluttershy nodded weakly and came out of hiding, her head shooting back and forth to ensure the coast was clear and her feathered friend on her head flailing its wings to keep its balance.  Rainbow Dash began to lead the way, Fluttershy trailing close behind.  Pinkie Pie seemed none too concerned and just bounced and skipped alongside them.

They were beginning to think this path was perhaps not the most ideal.  It seemed this particular hall was lined more with furniture and interior design outlets more than anything.  Perhaps something that would interest Rarity, but not themselves.

Pinkie Pie stopped and shone her lamp on a specific store, illuminating the sign above.  “Oooo, they have a Buckea here.”

Rainbow Dash lifted an eyebrow.  “‘Buckea’?  What’s that supposed to be?”

The earth pony pressed her nose against the window and peered inside.  “It’s this really neat company in Steeden that makes furniture and stuff.  Those Steeds do some quality work.  I ordered my wardrobe from one of their catalogs.  It didn’t transport me to a magical land in an alternate dimension or anything, but it’s got a real sturdy build.  Can we look around here for a bit?  I’ve been looking for a good bed frame to replace mine.  As it so happens, somersaulting into bed every night tends to wear it down.”

Rainbow Dash sighed.  “Fine, whatever.  I don’t think we’re gonna have much luck finding anything else of interest around here anyway.”

The trio stepped inside, taking note of all the well-finished furnishings surrounding them, each expertly crafted to be both practical and stylish.

Fluttershy glanced outside to the other outlets across the hall, noticing the large, metal shutters that blocked their entrances.  “Um, is anypony else wondering why all of the other stores are locked up except this one?”

Rainbow Dash shook her head as she examined some shelves that looked good for displaying trophies and the like.  “Somepony probably forgot to lock up.  Seriously, you’re being paranoid again.”

Fluttershy took a deep breath to calm herself.  “Right, just being paranoid.  There are no ghastly ghouls.”

The meek pegasus stepped up to an ornate, exotic-looking closet shutter and admired the attention to detail in the craftsmanship.  She pulled the shutter to determine how loose and quiet it was.  She froze up when she saw a pair of hazel eyes staring back at her from the other side before shrieking in fright.

“AHHHHHH!”

“AHHHHHH!”

“AHHHHHH!  Mine was loudest, I win!” Pinkie Pie giggled.

The parrot leapt off of Fluttershy’s head before the mare could hit the floor.  The mysterious pony scrambled for the exit.  Rainbow Dash, hearing the commotion, bolted over and caught the stranger by the tail, pulled them back in with her teeth and pinned them to the ground.  Standing over them, she could see it was a stallion with a chestnut brown mane and beige coat with a patch of dark, brown fur around his right eye.  He also wore a peculiar looking collar around his neck.  “Alright, what gives?!” she growled.  “Who are you, what are you doing here, and why are you scaring my friend?!”

“I should be asking you that!” he retorted with a nervous catch in his voice.  “Uh, except that last part.”

“Well, I don’t think you’re in a good position to be making any demands right now,” Dash threatened, prodding his barrel with her hoof.  “Now, spill.  Who are you?”

The stallion looked Rainbow Dash over analytically, then did the same to the curious, pink earth pony as well as the pale pegasus currently laying on her back, clutching her heaving chest and panting heavily as a large parrot sat on the floor next to her.

“You guys...aren’t security guards, are you?” he asked pensively after giving each of them a once over.

“Security?  Uh, no, we’re not.  Why?” Rainbow Dash asked, cocking an eyebrow.

The stallion sighed with relief.  “Good.  Look, there’s no need for hostility.  Can you please let me up?”

Dash glared at him skeptically.  “Why should I?”

“If it means anything, I didn’t mean to scare your friend.  Sorry about that, by the way,” he said to Fluttershy who was just managing to pull herself together.

“Oh, oh!  Are you here to take advantage of all the nighttime awesomeness, too?” Pinkie Pie asked.  She pursed her lips for a moment.  “Hey, wait a minute, that’s my idea!  Thief!  You stole my idea!  Give it back!”

“Uhhh...”  The stallion struggled to form a coherent response to Pinkie’s accusation.

“On second thought,” Pinkie mused, tapping her chin, “you can keep my idea, but in return you have to help us find something fun to do, okay?”

“Fun?” the stallion echoed.  “You came here to have fun?”  He chuckled darkly.  “Boy, did you come to the wrong place.”

Rainbow Dash stepped back and let him stand.  They could clearly see his cutie mark now: a needle and a spool of thread.  “Whaddya mean?  I thought this place was supposed to have something for everypony.”

The stallion brushed himself off before continuing.  “Look, I’m just going to get straight to the point: you three need to leave.  Right now.”

A look of worry fell over Fluttershy’s face.  “W-Why?  What’s wrong?”

He poked his head out of the store and checked down the dark corridor.  “I...I can’t really say.  All you need to know is that it’s too risky to stay here.  They might catch you.”

“Whose ‘they’?” Pinkie asked, tilting her head.

“Mall security.”

“Pfft,” scoffed Rainbow Dash.  “What are they gonna do, shine their flashlights at me?  ‘Oh no, my eyes!  How mildly inconvenient!’  Heh heh.”

The stallion furrowed his brow.  “Laugh all you want, but if they catch you, you’re in deep trouble.  Trust me.”

“Wh-Where are they?  Are they nearby?” Fluttershy stammered.

“No, they haven’t actually arrived yet,” he answered, double-checking the halls.  “Lucky for you.  You should take this opportunity to leave.”

Rainbow Dash held out her hoof.  “Whoa whoa whoa, hold up.  If it’s so dangerous to be here, then what are you doing here?  Still didn’t answer my other questions by the way.”

The stallion sighed in defeat.  “Fine, my name is Patchwork.”

Pinkie Pie stuck up her hoof.  “Oh, oh!  Do your friends call you Patch?”

Patchwork paused and stared at the mare.  “Uh, yeah actually.  But—”

“What about Patches?”

Patchwork paused for a moment before his gaze slowly fell to the floor.  “I’d...rather you didn’t.”

Pinkie could clearly tell she had hit some kind of nerve and promptly dropped the subject.  “Oh, sorry.  By the way, I’m Pinkie Pie.  These are two of my bestest best buddies, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.”

“It’s, uh...nice to meet you, I guess,” he said halfheartedly.  “Anyway, as for why I’m here, in this store specifically, I was hiding.”

“Hiding from what?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“The security guards.  I heard hoofsteps and voices and thought that they had shown up early, so I ducked in here to avoid them.”

Rainbow Dash gave Patch a scrutinous look.  “Ya know, from everything you’ve said, it sounds like you’ve been here before.  You’re starting to look pretty suspicious if you ask me.”

Pinkie Pie gasped.  “Maybe he’s a cat burglar!  F.Y.I.: pet store’s the other way.”

“I’m not a burglar, I’m...”  He trailed off.  “Nevermind.  Is there anyway you three can escape?”

“‘Escape’?” Rainbow Dash repeated.  “Geez, you’re making this place sound like a prison.”

“If we could leave we would have done that by now,” Fluttershy clarified.  “The doors are locked and all the windows are too tough to break through.  Not that we’d want to cause any property damage or anything.”

“Then I guess you are stuck here.”  Patch sighed remorsefully.  “You have no idea how sorry I am for you guys.”

“W-What’s gonna happen?” Fluttershy whimpered.

“I suppose you deserve a proper explanation,” Patch reluctantly admitted.  “Come with me.  I’ll give you your answers.”

Patchwork led the three mares down a series of corridors towards the back of the mall which, considering the size of the establishment, took a considerable amount of time.  Rainbow Dash wasn’t content to just let this stranger lure them Celestia-knows-where without getting some information out of him along the way.

“You still haven’t told us what you’re doing here in the first place, ya know?” she asked with blatant mistrust in her voice.

Patch gave her pleading look.  “I know you might not trust me right now, but believe me when I tell you that what I’m going to show you might get you to change your tone.  I’ll explain everything when we get there.  It’ll be more believable if you can see the evidence for yourself.”

“Mr. Patchwork?” Fluttershy peeped from the rear of the group.

“Just ‘Patch’ is fine,” he responded.  “Did you need something?”

“Um...I was just wondering, how did you get into that Buckea earlier?  All the other stores were locked up tight.  Wasn’t that one locked too?”

Patchwork focused on the path ahead.  “I’ve learned a thing or two in the time I’ve been here.  Aside from the front doors, the security in this place isn’t all that tight.”

“Guess they didn’t really expect anypony to be able to get in here after dark, huh?” Rainbow Dash surmised.

“Or they just don’t want them to get out,” Patch muttered under his breath.

“What?”

Patch shook his head.  “Nothing.  Look, we’re here.”

He pointed ahead to a pair of large, iron, double doors, far away from any of the mall’s shopping outlets.  The path leading them here had been so devoid of anything interesting that nopony would really think to come this way, and if they did, they could infer by the rather drab surroundings that customers were probably not intended to be back here.

Patch turned the handle on one of the doors, allowing it to slowly swing outward with a low, metallic groan.  He gestured for the three mares to follow him inside.

Much to their surprise—or perhaps disappointment—it was just an expansive store room full of crates, cardboard and maintenance equipment.

Pinkie Pie groaned loudly.  “Awww, a store room?  With those big, metal doors I thought this was some kinda treasury filled with gold and jewels and priceless artifacts ‘n’ stuff.  This junk is boooooring.”

“The store room isn’t what I wanted to show you,” Patchwork corrected.  “We need to come through here to get there.”

Patch trotted towards the back of the room, his company following closely behind; they were all getting more than a little curious as to just what it was he wanted to show them.

The stallion stood before the back wall of the room where a crate about the height of an adult pony was resting all by itself.  It looked a little out of place with absolutely nothing else around it.  Patch pressed his shoulder against the crate and pushed it aside.  It was evident from how little effort he had exerted that the box was empty and it’s true purpose was revealed a moment later.

Underneath the crate was what looked like a trap door, complete with a ring-shaped handle and everything.  Pinkie Pie’s eyes went wide with wonder.

“A secret entrance!  I knew this place had hidden treasure!  Ready to go spelunking, Dashie?” she said as she adjusted her headlamp.

Patch pressed a hoof against the bridge of his nose.  “Look, there is no treasure.  Can you just wait until I actually show you what I want to show you before jumping to wild conclusions?”

Rainbow Dash waved a hoof.  “Don’t bother, dude.  Once Pinkie sets her mind to something, she gets kinda fixated on it...’til something more interesting comes up anyway.”

Patch watched as Pinkie stared enthusiastically at the door, as if waiting for something to happen.  Rainbow Dash grabbed her by the tail and pulled her away to allow Patchwork to continue.

The stallion gripped the ring handle and opened the door with a hollow creak, revealing a set of stairs that lead down under the mall.  Without a word, Patch began his descent into the darkness below, the three mares soon following suit.  Surprisingly, it didn’t go quite as deep as they had been expecting; after about a minute they had reached the bottom and now found themselves standing before a plain-looking wooden door.  Pinkie Pie was visibly having trouble containing her excitement.

“I hope you’re ready for this,” Patch warned.  He glared at Pinkie.  “It’s not a pretty sight.”

The party pony stopped jittering and her smile disappeared.  Patch sighed and turned the handle, opening the door and allowing the four ponies to step through.  Their jaws all dropped simultaneously.  Fluttershy brought a hoof to her mouth in shock of the sight in front of her.

In a small room dimly lit by a hanging light fixture were a group of approximately twenty ponies.  Every one of them looking depressed, dirty, and generally unhealthy.  They came in all shapes and sizes: stallions, mares, adults, seniors, and even a single, young colt.  They also each appeared to be wearing a collar like the one Patchwork was.  What seemed odd still was what they were doing.  They appeared to be fiddling with various items of no distinct relation, everything from toys to power tools.  Upon hearing the door open they all turned their heads and seemed just as surprised to see the three Ponyville mares standing there as they did to see them.

“W-What’s going on here?” Fluttershy stammered with worry.

“I told you three that you shouldn’t be here,” Patch repeated.

Rainbow Dash stuck out her hoof.  “Who are all these ponies?   What’re they doing here?!”

Patchwork sighed.  “Remember when you said I made this place sound like a prison?  There’s a reason for that.”

All semblance of excitement was drained from Pinkie Pie’s being.  “You mean all these ponies are stuck here?”

Patch could only nod his head weakly.

One mare amongst the group stepped forward, her mane curly and colored red and white, her coat a slightly deeper shade of pink, and a cutie mark of a green and white striped candy cane with a red bow tied around it.  “Patch, who are these ponies?”

“More hapless victims, Candy,” he answered, defeat heavy in his voice.

Fluttershy cowered behind her mane.  “‘V-Victims’?”

Patchwork scratched his head.  “Guess it’s time to let you in on what exactly is going on here.  All of us, the ponies in this room, are people who either thought they’d have a little fun and sneak in after dark or ended up getting locked up in here by accident.  And have been here ever since.”

“What?!” Rainbow Dash balked.  “Well, why the hay haven’t you told anypony?!  Or, ya know, just leaving when the mall opens again?”

“Because we’re being kept here against our will,” the mare named Candy answered.

Patch continued.  “When mall security catches you in here after closing time, they trap you here and force you to work down here in the basement as punishment for trespassing.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Dash blurted.  “It’s not just wrong, it’s kidnapping!”

“Why doesn’t somepony tell Mr. Payroll?” Fluttershy suggested.  “Surely he’d be appalled to learn about this.”

“Vault Payroll?” Candy scoffed.  “Whose idea do you think this was?”

Fluttershy trembled.  “B-But he seemed so nice when we met him.”

“Vault might act all civil and friendly, but all that’s a ruse,” Patch added.  “In reality, he’s nothing more than a money-grubbing criminal.”  He turned to the many ponies occupying the room with them, their sorrowful eyes all staring back as Patchwork gave his explanation to the three new faces.  “He’s cheap, and that’s the whole reason we’re here.  It may sound like a stupid reason to kidnap and enslave random people, but that’s the kind of despicable person he is.”

“Whaddya mean by ‘enslave’?” Rainbow Dash inquired.

“Like Patch said, Vault is a cheapskate,” said Candy.  “As a result, he doesn’t like to spend more money than he has to.  So if anypony returns any faulty or defective items, instead of ordering a replacement he makes us fix them and puts them back on the shelves.”

“And sometimes that’s simply impossible.”  Patchwork pointed to an old, pegasus stallion sitting at a workbench in the corner of the room.  He appeared to be tinkering mindlessly with an old, red wagon that only had three wheels.  “That’s Fairweather.  One day that wagon was brought down here, a customer had returned it because a wheel was missing.  Vault demanded that it be fixed so they could sell it again.  Problem is, we can’t exactly fix it if we don’t have the materials we need.  In other words, the fourth wheel.  Fairweather’s been at that thing for ten years.”

The three mares all went pale.  “Ten years?!” they blurted, accompanied by a panicked squawk.

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to say something, but had trouble finding the words to accurately relay her surprise or anger.  “I... That’s... I-I don’t even... What?!”

Patch sighed heavily.  “Why don’t you girls have a seat,” he said, pointing to the table in the middle of the room.  “Might as well get to know one another a little better if you’re gonna be joining us.”

Rainbow Dash looked between her friends.  Both of them seemed to be wearing expressions of fear and desperation; they didn’t want to be here any more than she did.  Reluctantly, they accepted Patchwork’s offer and sat down with he and Candy.  The mare decided to speak up first.

“Name’s Candy Cane.  Nice to meet you, I guess.”

“I’m Rainbow Dash.  These are my pals, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.”

“We’re from Ponyville,” Pinkie Pie added, trying her best to remain enthusiastic.  “We’re you guys from?”

Candy looked around the room at all the ponies present.  “I think we’re all from here in Manehattan actually.”

“Have all of you been here for ten years like Fairweather?” Fluttershy asked.

Patchwork shook his head and chuckled softly.  “No, not quite.  Fairweather’s been here the longest and I’m pretty sure it’s affected the old-timer’s sanity.  He doesn’t do much of anything other than fruitlessly fiddle with that wagon.  Personally, I’ve been here for two years.”

“Geez, that’s still a long time,” Rainbow Dash commented.

“Feels even longer when you had something you didn’t want to ever let go of,” he said quietly.

“Somepony you cared about very deeply?” Fluttershy inferred.

“My fiancé.  We actually got engaged just a few months before I accidentally got myself locked in this place.  But it’s been two years now.  No way she would have waited this long with no explanation as to where I’ve gone.  She might think I chickened out and ran off or something.”

“Aww, that’s too bad,” Pinkie Pie groaned.  “And weddings are so fun too.  All the people and the music and the dancing and the huge, scrumptious cake.”  She licked her lips as she fantasized.  “What about you, Candy?  How’d you wind up here?”

Candy shrugged her shoulders.  “Pretty much everypony has the same story.  This place is so big that it’s easy to get lost or lose track of time.”

“Fairweather is one of the few who has a different excuse,” added Patchwork.  “The old guy fell asleep in the mattress store and nopony bothered to wake him up.  Seems cruel to end up like this because you decided to take a cat nap.”

“Anyway,” Candy continued, “I was actually here to scope out the competition.”

“‘Competition’?” echoed Pinkie Pie.  “What were you competing for?  Oh!  Was it a baking contest?  You know, to see who could make the best cake or pie or muffins or gingersnaps?”

Candy blinked, then giggled quietly.  “Sort of.  I work at a candy store downtown.  Actually, my dad owns the place, so it’s a family business.  We even make our own candy there.”

“Oooooo, homemade candy,” Pinkie Pie drooled.  “There’s nothin’ better than food made with love.”  She tapped her chin in thought.  “We have somepony in Ponyville that does pretty much the same thing actually.”

Candy quirked an eyebrow.  “You said ‘Ponyville’, right?  That person wouldn’t happen to be named Bonbon, would they?”

“Yeah, that’s totally right!”  Pinkie gasped.  “Are you psychic too?”

“Bonbon’s my cousin.  We write to each other every now and then.  Haven’t seen her ages though, and considering I’m stuck here now, I probably won’t see her for a long, long time.”  Candy’s eyes drifted down to the table.

“How long have you been here?” Pinkie asked.

Candy looked up again, whatever thoughts that had pervaded her mind having been jostled free by Pinkie Pie’s followup question.  “Oh, um, about eight months, I think.  It’s not even Bonbon I’m worried about, it’s my dad.”

“What’s wrong with your dad?” Fluttershy asked concernedly.

“Well, ever since my mom passed away, he’s had to run the store by himself.  Seeing how he struggled just to keep the place running, I volunteered to help out after I finished school.  It was a fight to convince him to let me though.  He’s always wanted me to chase my dream and go to a fancy culinary school and start my own business.  But I couldn’t just leave him all alone.  I’m the only thing he has left in the world.  And now I’m stuck here...”  She began to trail off, the moisture in her eyes glinting in the dim light of the room.

The room fell dead silent.  Everypony was afraid to continue the conversation considering the direction it was taking.  Rainbow Dash felt trapped.  She hated feeling trapped.  It was a feeling she despised with every fibre of her being and the sad stories of the lives that these ponies had had taken away from them only made it worse.

“Excuse me, miss.”

Rainbow Dash looked down to see a small, pegasus colt with a coat of grey and a mane of several shades of brown, who had not yet gained his cutie mark.

“Did you say your name was Rainbow Dash?”

“Uh, yeah.  Why?”

A modest smile appeared on the colt’s face.  “Weren’t you the winner of the Best Young Flyers Competition?”

Rainbow Dash finally found herself smiling as well, though she wasn’t sure if it was the pride of somepony recognizing her or from how this colt was managing to smile given his predicament.  “Yeah, I was.”

“Cooool,” the colt said simply, an awe-struck grin on his face.  He scrunched up his nose for a moment before letting out a short sneeze.

“Looks like you got a fan, Dashie,” Pinkie Pie giggled.

“That’s Peppercorn,” Patchwork interjected.  “Little guy’s been here only two months, but when you’re as young as he is, two months may as well be forever.”

“Mr. Payroll even keeps children here?” Fluttershy peeped.  “That’s... That’s...heinous.”

“Tell me about it,” Patchwork groaned.  “Separating a kid his age from his parents.  It’s just deplorable.  Seriously, Vault is the worst kind of person you can think of, despite how he acts in public.”

Peppercorn continued to stare in silent awe at Rainbow Dash.  The adult pegasus couldn’t help but feel her ego inflating at the attention she was getting.  “Didja want an autograph, kid?”

The question seemed to catch the colt off guard.  “Huh?  Oh, no no.  I don’t wanna bother you miss.”  He sneezed again and wiped his nose with a hoof.  “Um... It’s just... I watched you at the competition.  It was so cool!  You were all like, zoom woosh!  And then that lady’s wings burned up and you saved her and there was that big rainbow and it was so awesome!”  Peppercorn punctuated each word with a spirited hop and a sweep of his hooves.

Rainbow Dash rubbed a hoof against her chest.  “Yeah, I am pretty awesome.  No denying that.”

“You were almost as cool as Daring Do!”

The mare blinked.  “‘Daring Do’?  You like Daring Do?”  She paused for moment.  “Wait, whaddya mean ‘almost’?”

“Yeah, Daring Do is the best adventurer ever!  When you were in the Best Young Flyers Competition, it was like when Daring Do had to compete against that griffon clan to win their golden idol in Daring Do and the Temple of Wind!”

“Whoa, whoa!  Spoilers, kiddo!  I haven’t got to that one yet!”

“Whoops, sorry.  Ah-choo!”  The colt sniffed.

“Gesundhoof,” chirped Pinkie Pie.

Fluttershy looked at the colt worriedly.  “Oh my, are you sick, Peppercorn?”

Patchwork flicked a hoof dismissively.  “Nah, he’s fine.  Kid sneezes all the time.  His parents own a spice shop so he’s spent a good deal of time around all that stuff.  It’s like there’s pepper stuck in his nose or something.”

Peppercorn sniffed again, rubbing his hoof against his nose.

Rainbow Dash braced herself.  “Here comes another one.”

But no sneeze came.  The only sound that followed was a quiet sobbing.  Peppercorn was crying, tears forming in his eyes.  Candy rose from her seat and sat next to the colt, rubbing her hoof through his mane to comfort him.  The three newcomers simply watched in heart-crushing silence as the colt wept and hiccuped.

“I-I miss my mommy and daddy,” he sobbed.  “They’d always read me my Daring Do books before I went to sleep and Dad said that I could be a hero just like her when I grow up.  But I’ll never be a hero and I’ll never see my mommy and daddy again!”  Peppercorn started bawling loudly, sniffing and sobbing into his hoof.

“It’s okay, Peppy.  We’re here for you,” Candy said soothingly in an attempt to comfort him.

Rainbow Dash slammed a hoof against the table, causing everypony to jump with a start.  “This is insane!  How can you just sit around here doing nothing like this while your lives are being destroyed?!”

“You don’t think we haven’t tried to escape already?!” snapped Patchwork.  “We’ve exhausted all of our options.  No matter what we do we can’t get out.”

“There’s, like, twenty of you down here!  You could easily overpower any dumb security guards.”

Patch inhaled deeply to calm himself before speaking.  “The guards aren’t the problem.  It’s these.”  He pointed to the collar strapped around his neck, the same collar that everypony else in the basement was wearing.

Pinkie Pie leaned across the table to examine the object around Patch’s neck more closely.  “Wassit do?”

“They’re not a fashion statement, that’s for sure.  These collars have some sort of electronics inside them,” Candy explained as she held a still-sobbing Peppercorn closely to her.  “It keeps track of where we are so they can find us no matter where we go.”

“Well, what if you got to the police before they could catch you?” Fluttershy suggested.

Patchwork shook his head.  “That won’t work.  If we so much as step off of mall property, these things are designed to give us a nasty shock.  What’s worse is that if one person gets shocked, it activates the other collars too, so everypony gets it.  We’ve all felt it at least once and, trust me, getting zapped is not fun.”

Rainbow Dash was about to speak once more but was cut off by Candy.  “And we already tried to remove them.  I don’t know what these things are made of, but we couldn’t snap them or cut through them.  Can’t even short them out either; they’re waterproof.  Some of the unicorns down here even tried using magic, but nothing.”

“Hey, I’ve got an idea!”  Pinkie Pie dove into her saddlebags and emerged wearing a welder’s mask and holding a blow torch.  She sparked a flint over the torch to set it alight, the flame glowing a fierce blue.  The flame spooked both Fluttershy and her new pet, eliciting a frightened squeak from both of them.

“No no that’s okay!  No need for that!” Patch sputtered, flailing his hooves in front of him nervously.

The flame died and Pinkie flipped up the mask.  She shrugged before replacing the items back in her bag.

Candy took a long, hard look at their three, new companions.  “Wait a minute, you girls don’t have collars.”

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow.  “No.  Should we?”

“The guards haven’t arrived, so technically they aren’t caught yet,” Patch clarified.  “Once they find you, you get strapped with one of these things and brought down here.”

Candy tapped her chin.  “So, if they haven’t been caught yet, then they might still be able to get out.”

Patchwork let out an annoyed groan.  “Candy, I already said that there’s no way out, even without the collars.”

Peppercorn sniffed and wiped away his tears.  “Wh-What about that thing I found when I first got here?”

Patch’s eyes widened as if something had clicked in his brain.  “The ventilation system.”  He broke out into a big smile and rose from his seat.  “Hey, yeah!  You’re right!  You three can get out through the vents!”

Fluttershy’s face lit up.  “We can?  Can we really get out?”

“Yes, you can!  It might be a tight fit, but it’s entirely possible!  You can go through the vents, come out on the roof, and fly to freedom!”

Fluttershy’s expression suddenly fell as something dawned on her.  “But...what about all of you?”

Patchwork’s smile faded as well and he slowly returned to his seat.  “There’s no hope for us,” he stated dejectedly.  “If we tried to come with you we’d just be shocked by these things.  We wouldn’t make it ten feet outside.”

Candy placed a hoof on Pinkie Pie’s shoulder.  “Look, don’t worry about us.  The important thing is that you three can still go home if you hurry.  If you wait too long the guards will show up and it’ll be too late.”

Pinkie Pie tried to think of something to say.  The idea of making so many new friends and then just abandoning them like that was gut-wrenching to her.  She couldn’t just leave them behind.  The pink pony looked up at the ceiling in thought.  “What if we get out and tell the police?  Then they can come here and bust you guys out!  They’ll be all ‘Come out with your hooves up, criminal scum!’” 

Patchwork chuckled darkly.  “Are you kidding?  The cops can’t do anything.  It’s not like nopony knows what Vault Payroll has been doing.  He’s been under suspicion for years now.”

Rainbow Dash slapped one of her hooves against the other.  “Then why aren’t they doing anything about him?”

“Because Vault is one of the wealthiest ponies in Equestria.  He practically owns this city.  That old miser has the best lawyers money can buy.  The police can’t get anywhere near him without hard evidence, of which they have yet to find any.”

“We appreciate your concern, we really do,” Candy said apologetically, “but the best course of action for you is to get out and forget you ever saw us.”

Fluttershy felt tears forming in her eyes.  “B-But there has to be some way... I don’t think I could live with that kind of knowledge.”

Patchwork stood up and made his way to the door, opening it for the three mares.  “It’s better for you three to escape rather than have to suffer our fate.  Relish your freedom while you can.”  He forced a smile the best he could.  “We won’t forget the compassion you’ve shown us, and we’d still like to call you friends.”

Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy shared conflicted looks with one another.  As much as they hated to admit it, the captive ponies were right: being free was better than being stuck down here.  The pair reluctantly made their way to the door, Pinkie Pie giving Candy Cane a hug along the way and Fluttershy sharing some quiet words of encouragement with Peppercorn and a comforting nuzzle.

Fluttershy stared Patchwork straight in the eyes with uncharacteristic resolve.  “If we ever find any way to help you, we won’t hesitate for a second.”  Fluttershy the parrot chimed in with an affirmative whistle.

Patchwork nodded with a grin.  “We appreciate it.”

Before stepping out the door, Pinkie Pie turned around to realize that their third friend hadn’t move from her seat at the table.  Rainbow Dash was staring harshly at the table’s surface, seemingly lost in thought.  “Dashie?  Aren’t you coming?”

“No.”

Everypony went silent and stared in confusion at the prismatic mare.  Pinkie Pie blinked.  “Whaddya mean ‘no’?  Don'tcha wanna be free?”

“I mean, I’m not leaving all of these innocent ponies here to rot!” she snapped.  Rainbow Dash stood from the table and stomped over to her friends, staring at Pinkie Pie with an intense, seething rage that didn’t seem to actually be directed at the pink mare.  “Pinkie Pie, what are we?”

The party pony tilted her head.  “Uh... Ponies?”

“More specific.”

“Um... Mares?”

“Still more specific.”

“Hmm...”  Pinkie Pie stroked her chin in deep thought.  “Wait, wait, I can get this.”  She tapped her head repeatedly with her hoof.  “Think, Pinkie, think.”

“We’re the Elements of Harmony?” Fluttershy answered.

Rainbow Dash pointed enthusiastically at her fellow feathered friend.  “Bingo!”

“Aww, I was gonna say that next,” Pinkie Pie grumbled.

“But we’re not just the Elements of Harmony,” Rainbow Dash continued, “we’re heroes.  Heroes who’ve saved Equestria from eternal night, stopped the very spirit of chaos, and took on a whole army of shapeshifting changelings!  Not to mention saving Ponyville from total disaster on practically a weekly basis.  My point is, what kind of heroes would we be if we just left these poor, innocent ponies here all alone?”

Pinkie Pie raised her hoof.  “Oh!  I know this one!  Not very good heroes!”

Rainbow Dash stomped a hoof on the concrete floor.  “Right!  But that’s not us, is it?  We’re the best darn heroes this kingdom has ever seen!  Am I right?!”

Pinkie Pie reared up on her hind legs.  “YEAH!”

“Squrawk!  Heroes!” the parrot chirped.

Rainbow Dash turned to the quiet pegasus next to her earth pony friend.  “Right, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy shuffled nervously.  “Um... Yes.”

She received a disapproving glare from her cyan friend.  Fluttershy straightened up and tried to look as confident as she could.

“I mean... Yes, ma’am!”

Rainbow Dash gave the normally-meek mare a proud smile.  “Atta girl!”

“I’d hate to interrupt,” Patchwork spoke up, “but what exactly are you getting at here?”

The chromatic pegasus flashed a toothy, cocksure grin.  “I’ll tell you what we’re gettin’ at.  We’re busting you guys out.”