Homecoming
(A/N- I removed the last few paragraphs of the last chapter, redid them, and put them in the beginning of this chapter. I felt that it worked best this way.)
Silver Quill’s eyes squinted in irritation under the assault of the first morning light streaming through the open window, waking him up from a peaceful slumber. He moved his head away from the source of the irritation, but that didn’t help. His eyelids fluttered, briefly revealing bloodshot and tired eyes, forcing him to squint in an effort to hide from the painfully bright light.
“Why on earth are the windows open?” Silver thought grumpily as he shivered in the morning chill. “And where is that bloody blanket?”He groaned and lifted his head, yawning tiredly let as he slowly opening his eyes to find the source of his irritation.
What he saw, however, struck him dumb.
The translucent curtains of the window were thrown wide open, casting the library’s sitting room in warm orange and yellow colours. Silver could feel the heat from the light slowly warming his body only for the warmth to be wicked away by the chilliness of morning, almost making him feel like he was bathing in water that was both hot and cold at the same time, cold on the outside and warm on the inside. The couch cushions were warm beneath his forelegs, the heat from his belly having seeped into the material during the night. Silver found it strange that that was the case, he much preferred to sleep on his side rather than on his stomach.
Or at least, he would have found it strange if he hadn’t been nearly rendered catatonic with surprise. Every detail about the room, both minor and major, was currently being ignored as his brain latched onto one detail that was much, much more important than any other. Even the fact that he was still wearing his Nightmare Night Costume, the suit that Rarity had lent him, didn’t register in his mind.
Less than a few inches away from him lay the sleeping form of Twilight Sparkle, her chin resting on top of her crossed forelegs, her mane spilling over the side of her face like a blanket, swaying almost imperceptibly with the tide of her breathing.
Silver went from bone tired to being completely awake in a manner of seconds. His heartbeat sped up as adrenaline flooded his body with wakefulness. Resisting the urge to make any sudden movements, Silver stared at the sleeping mare incredulously.
“What in the…” he thought to himself, his mind a mess of conflicting images and feelings. It felt like he was trying to put an immensely complicated puzzle together, except his memories were the puzzle pieces and he had only a vague idea of what the completed puzzle was supposed to look like. Frankly, Silver counted himself lucky that he hadn’t started sputtering in surprise.
He leaned forward slightly, getting a better look at the sleeping mare. Her mane was disheveled, he noticed, with little strands occasionally poking out, and there seemed to be bags under her eyes. Despite her unkempt appearance, Silver noticed that she wore the tiniest of smiles in her sleep.
The open window was behind her, Silver realized, the light spilling forth from the window hitting only a small portion of her body. Twilight murmured and pressed herself against her forelegs, unconsciously looking for warmth with a small, and fairly adorable, whine.
In a flash, it all came back to Silver Quill. The night before had been filled with more emotion than any he could remember in a long, long time, and it was all because of this intelligent librarian. She had made him more nervous than when he had first tried to publish a book, and she had made him more happy than when he had read that first positive review.
He remembered it like he did the rides at the Nightmare Night fair, soaring highs and plummeting lows hitting him one after the other. The anxiety he felt about confessing his feelings so bluntly and openly, especially after having been so quiet and confused about them, something that left a dirty taste in his mouth, had been nearly enough to cause him to choke on his own tongue. That coupled with the sheer joy of hearing her say those small, meaningful words back to him, a mere three syllables that carried the weight of a moon made him more exhausted and happy than he had ever felt in his entire life.
His smile that he didn't even know that he was wearing faded slightly as he remembered what he said about his past. His smile slowly shrank until it was replaced completely by a blank expression, the one that he normally wore before he had met Twilight and had fallen for her.
He breathed deeply, very aware of his own heart beating in his chest slightly faster than normal. For so many years now, he had refused to let his emotions overpower him, all because of a misunderstood promise he had made to that mare when he was but a colt. He had mourned, yes, but throughout the entire ordeal, even during her funeral, Silver had not shed a single tear of bereavement. He had stayed, stoic, steadfast, and strong, because that was what she wanted him to do. To be strong.
Silver's smile returned, a little bit more bittersweet this time. It was ironic, he thought, that such emotions should well up now of all times when he was happier than he had ever been. "You have to take the good with the bad I suppose." he mused wryly.
Just as he did so many times before, Silver stifled those feelings away under a cold, hard barrier. "But not at the same time." he thought as he gazed at the sleeping mare who shivered slightly in the chill. "The bad can wait until later. She said that she loves me!” He felt his pulse quicken at the simple thought. “And I...”
His smile became smaller, but no less happy as he beheld the librarian sleeping in her hooves, snuffling quietly as she lightly snored. He felt a somewhat familiar sensation of warmth flood through him, replacing all of the blood in his veins with glorious light. It was the same feeling that he had felt every time he had laid eyes on her before, only now multiplied by hundreds.
He leaned down and put his mouth next to her ear. “I love you.” He whispered, feeling a thrill pass through him as he did so. Her ear twitched at this, lightly flicking him in the nose as she murmured something unintelligible in a sleepy response.
A silent laugh bubbled from Silver, and he had to resist the urge to nuzzle the mare. Instead, he slowly, lowered his head down to rest on the cushions, his cheek merely inches away from hers. With a simple thought and a a small burst of magical energy, Silver's horn lit up, drawing the curtains close with a hiss of metal on metal. With another thought, and a little more power, Silver formulated another spell, one that made heat from magical energy, and shrouded himself and Twilight in an invisible blanket of warmth. It would only last for little more than an hour, it wasn't a self sustaining spell, but it was useful in situations where you needed to warm your hooves but didn't have a blanket handy.
Twilight sighed contentedly where she lay snoozing into her forelegs. Silver emulated her position, smiling slightly as he closed his eyes and listened to the sound of her breathing until he fell back to sleep.
A nudge on Silver's side woke him up once more. "Silver." A soft voice said. "Wake up.
He merely squeezed his eyes shut and did nothing, too comfortable to move.
Another nudge, slightly more forceful than the last. "C'mon Silver, you need to get up. The library's going to be open in an hour and I can't have you sleeping on my couch."
Silver groaned and covered his eyes with his forelegs. "Just gimme five minutes." he mumbled.
"Nuh uh. You get off your lazy flank right now mister, or I'll make you."
Silver resisted the urge to grin. He recognized that tone as the one Twilight used when she had to be a little bit more firm than usual when talking with Spike. He detected a hint of amusement in the authoritative tone.
He didn't move, opting to stay right where he was on this delightfully comfortable couch, waiting to see if she was going to follow up on that threat or not.
"Alright then, don't say I didn't warn you." Twilight said in a light, uncaring voice.
Silver was about to reply, but was interrupted by the comfortable couch tipping over at a near 90 degree angle, sending him tumbling onto the floor in a heap of confusion and discomfort.
Silver opened his eyes to see a lavender face looking down at him with a smirk. Next to them, the couch that was wrapped in a purple aura that was currently standing on only two legs slowly lowered back down and settled back down to its normal position.
She grinned at him smugly. Silver merely groaned in response as he brought himself to his hooves.
"Ugh…what time is it?" he said tiredly.
"It's almost 11." Twilight replied.
He blinked. "Oh. It is late."
"Yes, it is." Twilight said, walking past him and flicking his nose with her tail playfully. "Thankfully nopony has come in looking for any books yet; they're all probably still sleeping off all of that candy from yesterday."
Well, that was a sobering thought. It would have been rather embarrassing if some pony had walked in to see the two ponies lying sprawled on the sofa like they had been. Not to mention they both had some freshening up to do. Silver ran a hoof through his straight mane and frowned. It was going to take him quite a while to get rid of this particular case of bed-head.
He follow Twilight to the kitchen where they made themselves a quick breakfast. Due to the lateness of the morning and the fact that they hadn't eaten anything more substantial than candy and chocolate last night, they were both feeling ravenous. Sitting down at the table with their food, a bowl of oatmeal for Twilight and an omelet for Silver, they finally got some real food in them.
"You know, I broke my streak because of you." Twilight said, pointing an accusing spoon in his direction and casting him a glare. Silver started and looked at her in confusion.
"Your what?"
"My streak." she replied grumpily. "For the past 14 years I've woken up at the exact same time, 7:00 sharp. Now all that effort has gone to waste." She folded her forelegs and put her nose in the air, eyes closed in a picture of haughtiness. "I hope you're proud of yourself."
Silver blinked, unsure of what to say. "I…" He stopped himself as he noticed the corners of her mouth were turning upwards ever so slightly "…am actually." he finished with casual smile in her direction, causing her make a scandalized face that he couldn't help but laugh at. When she realized that she had been played, she laughed as well.
"Well, I'll forgive you this time." She said lightheartedly.
Silver rolled his eyes and went back to eating. "How thoughtful of you."
Twilight nodded primly, satisfied that he recognized her benevolence and generosity.
They ate in silence for a few minutes, occasionally glancing up at one another, smiling nervously, and looking back down to their food without a word between them. They fidgeted, they looked around meaninglessly, and they tapped their hooves on the tabletop restlessly, shooting glances back and forth at one another like a a filly and a colt that had just met, but didn't know what to say to one another.
Silver's mind went back to many years before, when he was a little colt and was walking the halls of his school with his nose buried in a book. He recalled bumping into "the lavender filly" as she had been known to him then, and not being able to say a word to her; not even one of goodbye or hello.
He had been so nervous, he remembered, every time he had seen her in the hallway between classes, or during recess, curled up with a book under the shade of an oak tree. She seemed so unapproachable then. In the halls, she was always pulled away by the busy rush of students before he could get near her, and during recess her book might as well have been an impenetrable barrier with the words "go away" on it.
He had only seen her for a short time, a few years probably, for the average amount of time that all unicorns spent in the lower grade level of magical education before they switched to a school that was better suited to their abilities and talents. She didn't really seem particularly special or interesting to Silver, she was always reading and never talked to those around her, but something in his immature mind had something in her that he had seen her before. She was special, he just didn't know why.
Silver had been nearly overjoyed when he first saw that lavender filly in Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, something that surprised him rather greatly. Why should he be so happy about that, or feel such an unusual draw towards her? And why did it sting so badly when it turned out that she wasn't going to be learning there after all? Why had it been extra hard to go to sleep that night?
Silver had quickly forgotten about her though as his schoolwork started to take precedence, soon followed by his mother's illness and passing. He had had no more time to think about her, the friend that he had never made.
A thought struck Silver Quill, chilling him to the bone and rooting him to he chair. Was that all going to happen again? Silver came to the sudden realization that his stay in Ponyville wasn't permanent. In fact, it was likely going to end very soon, and he would be going back to Canterlot sometime within then next few days. He had responsibilities there. His home, his books, his friends and family, not to mention his publisher who would likely be on his flank like white on rice if he didn't hunker down and get back to writing as he normally did, and is supposed to.
The whole reason for this impromptu vacation, he remembered with a start, was to give him a break from the city life and knock him out of his creative dry spell. Luna had been right, this little sabbatical had been just what he needed. He could already feel the gears and cogs in his head loosening, his mind slowly whirring to life, ready to churn out page after page after page.
He was going to have to leave soon; go back home to the city where the air smelled of body odour and the ponies smelled of false sincerity and honeyed words. But more importantly, he was going to have to leave Twilight.
His breath hitched in his throat as he felt his chest flutter a the mere thought. "No. Not this time."
"Twilight?"
She looked up from the table. "Hm?"
"I just realized that I'm going to have to return to Canterlot soon."
Her face transformed from content and serene to bewildered, her eyes widening and her jaw becoming slack. It seemed that he was not the only one who had forgotten the details of his stay.
She quiickly put on a mask of nonchalance, smiling pleasantly at him. "Oh right, I had forgotten about that." she replied easily. Silver's years of gaining control over his emotions has made him hyper sensitive to those of others, and right now, deep in her eyes, he could see brief flashes of sadness. Her smile quickly faltered and she looked down at her oatmeal without another word.
Funnily enough, it almost made him smile to see it.
He swallowed instinctively. "But…I'm not sure that I want to."
Her ears twitched as she looked up with interest, hope shining through the sadness in her eyes.
Silver took a deep breath and forced a calm expression. "I meant what I said to you last night Twilight." He stated, looking her dead in the eye. "Every word. I'd rather cut my own hoof off than have to leave Ponyville right now, but unfortunately, I don't have much of a choice. However...” he paused, thinking to himself. Twilight leaned forward, eager to hear what he had to say. “I don't necessarily need to stay in Canterlot.”
She blinked, a small smile forming on her lips. Silver sighed, forgetting his food for a moment despite his hunger.
“I'll be completely honest with you Twilight, I don't like Canterlot. I was born and raised there, but I've always wanted to pack up my bags and leave.” He smiled. “The only problem was that I never had any incentive to.”
Twilight nodded along silently.
“Well, I've found one now. The opportunity to live close to the most wonderful, beautiful mare I have ever met is a very compelling one.” Silver finished with a small grin, causing her to blush and look away.
“But before I do anything, I need to know something.” he continued, his voice more serious this time. “I need to know, in no uncertain terms, what you feel about me.”
Looking back at him quickly, her eyes widened considerably, and then softened in understanding. Silver felt his mouth go dry as his heart started to beat faster. He knew what she had told him yesterday, but there was still that lingering, niggling feeling of doubt eating away at him inside. It would be so easy for her to completely destroy him at this very moment, because as calm as he may have seemed right now, in actuality he was on the verge of panicking. Questions and scenarios were running through his head at the speed of thought, each one more horrifying than the last. What would he do if she didn't want to be around him? What if she was visibly repulsed by the idea? What if she was so angry at him for asking that kicked him out of her library tight this second? Rationally, Silver knew that these thoughts were at least slightly ridiculous, but he didn't think that he was capable of being rational right now.
"I…" she said ineffectively, her mouth opening and closing as though searching for the words to say. "I…"
She blinked, looking strained and confused in her silence. Silver felt his heart plummet rapidly.
"I don't…"
An iron hard will was the only thing that kept his face from falling and from tears welling up in his eyes. He nodded solemnly, swallowing. "I understand." he replied, not actually understanding at all. What had happened last night then?
"No!" she cried, waving her hooves out in front of her, almost knocking her bowl over the edge of the table. "No, it's not like that. I just…" Twilight sighed and hung her head, mumbling to herself incoherently as she rubbed at her temples. Silver merely watched her.
Finally, after a long moment of silence, Twilight looked up to meet his eye. "I'm not very…good at these types of things, that was always Rarity's expertise, among other things." She said seriously. "Nevertheless, I am going to explain myself to the best of my limited ability." Her serious, business like tone only worked to confuse Silver Quill even further.
She closed her eyes, took a deep breath through her nose, and began to speak. "I was always a fairly bookish pony, for no reason other than that was just how I was. I saw more value in books, in the fictional and non-fictional characters than I did in most ponies around me, except for a select few. Nearly everything I know about the world around me, the ponies who live in it, and by myself, I have been taught by books. How to talk politely, how to act appropriately, and how to think intelligently."
She looked to see a bemused Silver looking at her. "But no book that I have ever read could have prepared me for this. Sure, they have touched on the subject of love a bit, a few broken hearted soliloquies here, a few princes rescuing the beautiful princess to live happily ever after there, but I've come to realize that, and it pains me to say it, books are a pale example of what love is. It scratches the surface, yes, but underneath that surface there is an ocean of feelings that words cannot hope to describe."
She looked down at her bowl of oatmeal and began to idly swirl the spoon around the bowl with the tip of a hoof, her eyes far away. "I remember reading once that love is like a raging waterfall, a powerful, unstoppable force that takes along whether you like it or not. I don't think I agree with that, however."
She was silent for a moment, the only sound coming from the light clinking of the metal spoon against the porcelain bowl. She closed her eyes once more and smiled, more to herself than anything else.
"Rather…it's more like turning your face upwards underneath gentle rain on a warm, quiet spring day. It falls over you, soaking you to the bone, but not in a bad way. It's nice, like sitting next to a fireplace, washing away any aches and worries until you cannot help but smile because of it. Everything wrong in the world seems to just disappear underneath the rain, and what's left is the most beautiful feeling you've ever felt."
Silver Quill was stunned. Twilight stopped twirling the spoon with her hoof and opened her eyes to find him with his jaw open, staring at her in disbelief.
"It's strange, and I'll admit, a little bit frightening, feeling this way." she said softly, holding her hoof to her heart and sighing softly before dropping it. "Usually, when I encounter something new and strange, I'll look it up in a book, but in this case, that's not an option, so I simply have to go off of what I feel rather than what I think, something I've...never actually done before."
Silver blinked, his mouth closing with a snap. That sounded somewhat familiar. A small flame of hope ignited inside of him, but he didn't dare let it grow into anything more.
“What I feel is...odd. It's sort of a...bittersweet feeling, and I don't know whether or not I should be incredibly happy, or incredibly afraid.”
She chuckled to herself and looked up at Silver, her eyes shining as she smiled at him. “I guess I feel a little bit of both.”
They looked at each other for a good, long while, eventually causing the mare to blush slightly and look away once more. “Silver, I...I can't really say that I know exactly what love is, as I've never actually felt it before, but after what happened last night...” her blush deepened. “I think that I can say I understand it a little bit better.”
They were quiet for a moment, Silver mulling over what she just said in his head while Twilight waited with red cheeks and a hesitant expression to see what he would say.
Silver narrowed his eyes as he thought. “So...what you're saying is...” he said, his words trailing off as he tried to wrap his head around all of it.
“That I love you, yes.” Twilight replied, somewhat irritably, somehow turning even redder than before.
Silver blinked, the flame roaring to life instantaneously. He smiled at the blushing mare, mentally laughing at the way she seemed to be trying to hide her face from him, yet still watching him at the same time with an almost desperate look in her eyes.
“Well, couldn't you have just said that?” Silver asked teasingly with a grin. Her eyes widened in shock.
“Wha – I did!” she replied indignantly.
“In what has to be the most roundabout way ever, yes.” he replied, his grin widening.
“Y-you little...” she stammered ungracefully. “Was that not good enough for you or something?” she demanded.
“I'm just saying, you were able to say it before, you should be able to say it today.” Silver had to withhold a laugh when she sputtered indignantly.
“I...that was-”
“In the heat of the moment?” Silver finished with grin.
“No!” she replied hotly before looking away. “Maybe...”
Silver had to let out a chuckle at this which caused Twilight to groan and lay her head on the table dejectedly. “I take it all back.” she replied dejectedly. “I hate you now.”
Silver laughed brightly, reaching over and running his hoof through her mane comfortingly. “I love you too Twilight.” he replied fondly.
This caused her ears to perk up slightly, and looked up at him shyly, giving him a small smile and a laugh. Wordlessly, she straightened in her seat, and with one more fond look at Silver Quill, she went back to her food, not saying anything more, as nothing else was needed to be said.
One week later...
Silver walked through the streets, his hoof steps heavy and slow on the cobblestones, the resounding sound seeming to echo across the empty street. It was a fairly miserable looking day, overcast with a biting chill on the wind that stirred the fallen red and orange hued leaves into little whirlwinds of activity that brushed across the ground restlessly. Looking up, Silver almost expected to see flash of lightening in the grey, overencompassing clouds, or feel dripping rain on his face. The world was holding its breath, and the precipitation that he knew would soon be coming was emulating that by stubbornly refusing to fall.
Upon looking outside that morning, Silver knew that this was going to be the day. He didn't want go out when the streets were bustling with activity, as most Canterlot streets usually are. Thankfully, he only passed the occasional stranger; fellow wanderers who looked like they had too much on their minds. Without fail, they passed one another without a sound.
“It's a good day for rain.” he mused idly, shrugging in his coat so as to draw it closer around him, the cold ground biting against his hooves. “Very fitting.” He had been putting this moment off for a few days now, and now that he had run out of time to procrastinate, it looked like it was close to rain. He sighed dejectedly.
Turning his eyes back downwards, he focused once more on where he was heading. He was currently walking through one of the more quaint, lesser known areas of Canterlot; a side street that hid rickety apartments and old dusty shops from view. Brown seemed to be the standard here. Everywhere he looked he saw brown brick, brown mortar, brown wood, and brown metal. Even the few ponies that he saw all wore brown coats and boots.
“Boots. Now that would have been a good idea.” Silver thought bitterly, gritting his teeth against the numbing cold on his hooves. Nevertheless, he pressed on, refusing to be dissuaded by simply a little bit of discomfort.
It was like this that he walked for what seemed like an hour, but actually amounted to about 15 minutes. His head in the clouds, he walked blindly, letting his hooves carry him to where he knew that they knew he needed to go, taking the same steps that they have taken so many times beforehand. It was a start when they finally stopped, jarring him from his thoughts. With a start, he blinked and examined his surroundings to see that he was standing in front of a large, wrought iron archway that was standing over a gated entrance. The iron was carved in intricate designs of thorny roses that wreathed the words “Rosy Glades.”
Silver Quill grimaced. He had always hated that name. It seemed so campy then, and it seemed campy now.
With a sigh and a shake of his head, Silver pushed the wrought iron gate open, frowning as flakes from the metal of rust stuck to his hoof. The distasteful peal of old hinges tore through the air, announcing his arrival as the gate opened and closed behind him.
“Alright.” he thought, examining his surroundings. “Now, where was it?”
He started to walk along the gravel path that cut through the grass. Short trees and small, prickly bushes that sported the occasional rose or two dotted the landscape, giving it a desolate and weathered feel, one that Silver Quill imagined mirrored the feelings of most ponies who came here. Something about this place made him feel 15 years older.
Casting his gaze over the many rows of markers, Silver tried to remember the last time he had been here. It seemed like so long ago. From what he could remember, it had been more than a year, and that was on his father's urging. He usually treid to avoid this place, it tended to make him...emotional.
“The rich ones all have statues of angels and guardians,” he mused. “And the poor ones have simple crosses or markers.” He glanced at the tall marble figure of a pegasus rearing on her hind legs with her wings extended in a protective cocoon, carved so as to look like her entire body was draped in concealing cloth. “But it doesn't make a whit of difference.” Silver found himself wondering what her face looked like under shawl. Was it smiling? Crying? Maybe both.
He pushed it out of his mind. There was only one that he was looking for, and he had almost reached it.
Turning away from the gravel path and walking onto the grass, following the trail of headstones to his destination, Silver found himself looking at the sky again. “I hope it doesn't rain...”
Ahead of him, in the middle of the row, he could see what he came here for. It was a relatively unremarkable marker, not much different from the ones that surrounded it. The only thing that set it off from the others were the swirling veins of rose quartz set into the polished stone, light pink on dark grey making for a startling contrast.
Silver stopped in front of the circular headstone and sat down, ignoring the feeling of the already cold ground sapping away his body heat. Of course, the inscription was something that set it off from the others as well...
Here Lies Lily Quill, Beloved Mother And Wife, Never To Be Forgotten
Silver Quill couldn't help but grin. He remembered choosing the last part of that epitaph as a sort of childish ideal that she would be remembered for hundreds and hundreds of years as the most special pony to ever live, even more so than the princesses themselves. It had only seemed appropriate then.
“Hey mom. It's been a while.” He said, startling at the sound of his own voice in the profoundly quiet cemetery.
“I'm sorry I haven't visited in...a while, I suppose, but I don't really see much point in talking to a headstone. Others say it's supposed to be therapeutic, I just say that it's dumb.” He shook his head and grinned ruefully. “Well, here I am doing exactly that. What are the odds.”
He paused to take the time to breathe, inhaling deeply through his nose and letting it out in a deflated sigh. “A lot has happened since I've last been here.” he admitted. “I don't really know where to start, or how.”
He thought for moment. “The beginning, I guess...”
Composing himself, raising his head and straightening his back, Silver looked straight ahead. “I finally got out of Canterlot. I was...coerced into taking a small vacation to get out of the city and take my mind off things. Get a change of scenery and such. Luna said that-” he stopped when he realized that Luna hadn't returned from her lengthy banishment until after his mother's death. How strange it was to him to think about how it wasn't really too long ago that she returned, just a few years, yet he felt like he couldn't remember a time where they weren't friends.
He shook his head firmly, dislodging the errant thoughts from his mind. “Never mind.” he amended. “I'll just say that it was all organized by a friend in high places.”
He paused, collecting himself for a moment before continuing. “I was apprehensive at first as you can probably guess, but I felt like I didn't have anything to lose, so I boarded the train to a small town called Ponyville. It's a nice place. Lot's of gorgeous scenery and friendly ponies. You would have loved it considering how much you would complain about Canterlot.”
He drew in a breath to continue speaking, but stopped. Then he drew another one, and then stopped again. “I...met some ponies there that I can now call my friends.” His voice was hesitant and unsure. “You used to always bug me about staying in my room so much and not going out to make friends, saying that I was missing out on “the best things in life.” Well, I can now say that I understand what you were getting at back then.” He found himself grinning without even realizing it. “It really is nice.”
“There's one pony, however, I've gotten to know a little bit more than the others.” He said, swallowing a dry lump in his mouth. How silly he must have looked talking to this headstone, this poor representation of his mother. He had to resist the urge to twist his head around and make sure that there was nopony secretly watching him, likely giggling behind their hooves as they watched his ridiculousness.
“Her name is Twilight Sparkle, and she's a lot like me actually. Loves books, not very many friends...susceptible to occasional bouts of social awkwardness.” He made a face on that last point, but he knew in his heart that it was true.
“She's incredibly smart though.” he added. “Incredibly smart and talented. Remember all that hubbub in the news back when I was still a colt about Celestia accepting a unicorn filly as her personal student? Well, that filly was her.” He took a moment to appreciate what that really meant. “Yup. I'm friends with the most powerful unicorn in Equestria. How cool is that?”
His face lit up in a smile for a moment before quickly being replaced with an uncertain expression. “Only...it's a little bit more than that...” he admitted quietly.
“It's a pretty funny story, actually. I ran into her once, quite literally, when I was a colt, and I sort of developed a crush on her.” Silver's face flushed in embarrassment. “And then, when I realized that Lu – my friend had organized me to stay with her in Ponyville during my vacation, I was so surprised that I couldn't even speak.” Silver remembered the moment he had first walked through the front door of that library and beheld its caretaker. He had been so surprised that one could have understandably mistaken him for an incredibly detailed statue.
“Well, at first everything was all right.” Silver continued on. “I spent a lot of time wandering around Ponyville, cleaning all of the dust and cobwebs out of my head, enjoying the simplicity and whatnot, but things soon started to become a bit more...complicated.”
Silver tasted the words in his mouth and grimaced. This was really awkward. “I found myself becoming more and more...I dunno...fascinated by her.” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “She seemed to be the most interesting pony I had ever met, and I could hardly take my eyes off of her for more than a few moments. Every time she spoke, I found myself listening as though my life depended on it.”
“At first, I was confused beyond measure. I was trying to get back to writing, but found myself continually distracted by even the simple thought of her.” He gave a rueful grin. “Little did I know it, that harmless crush had come back in full force.”
“Before I knew it, I could do nothing else but think of her. Just by walking into a room, she seemed to make everything brighter. She could talk for hours on end about the most boring subjects, and I'd be completely invested just because I could hear the sound of her voice. All it would take is a blink in my direction, and I would be struggling to keep my hooves under me. She would-”
Silver abruptly stopped when he realized what he was saying and that he was grinning like a fool without even realizing it. He could almost hear the deceased mare giggling at him.
Flushing slightly, he straightened. “Well, you get the point.” He paused for a moment, thinking to himself as he gazed into the shiny, slightly weathered stone. He could just about make out his reflection in the marble.
“Do you remember when I asked you and dad what it felt like to be in love?” Silver asked softly. “Dad told me that it was like having the most glorious disease in the world, one that ached so strongly that it felt like it was eating you alive, but would never in a million years get rid of.” A tiny smile graced his features. “I didn't understand then, but I do now. Somewhat.”
He took a moment to look up and examine the sky. Still grey and cloudy, it looked like it was going to open up on him any minute.
“I'll be honest mom, I was terrified.” Silver said absently, not taking his eyes away from the heavens. “For a while, I was so scared that the thought of...confessing my feelings would make me want to throw up. At first I thought it was just nerves born from inexperience, but eventually, after a little help from Lu – my friend, I realized it was more than that.”
Silver continued looking up at the sky for a good long minute, absently wondering when the first raindrop was going to fall. After a good minute of simply staring, he finally turned his head back down to look at the headstone. “I was afraid of breaking a promise that I made long ago...” he whispered, nearly inaudibly. He waited for a moment, as though expecting the grave to reply. When it didn't, he did the only thing that he could think of, and that was continue talking.
“But, you can rest assured that I managed to overcome my fear.” he announced proudly. “I opened myself up, more so than I have with anypony before.” he halted for a moment, cocking an ear to the wind. “How did it go you ask? Well...” he grinned. “let's just say that I've never felt happier in my entire life than I did in that moment. I don't think I can even begin to describe it...”
Silver sat there, smiling as he remembered the moment that Twilight said without a hint of doubt that she returned his feelings for her. All of the sudden, the cold didn't seem to bother him as much as before.
“Well...to make a long story short...I'm going to be leaving Canterlot and move to Ponyville.” he smiled ruefully. “I've had more than enough of this city to be honest. It used to be so shiny and fascinating when I was younger, but now it's just...well, not. I've already got everything set up. First thing tomorrow, I'm taking everything that I need and taking the train to Ponyville where I'll be renting a small apartment.” Silver had a little bit of money stashed away, money he had earned from writing his two published books and a myriad of short stories throughout the years, enough to make the transition from Canterlot to Ponyville as smooth as possible. It will be taking quite a chunk out of his savings though, but given the circumstances, he thought that to be a small price to pay.
His smile slowly started to fade. “So yeah...I'm leaving Canterlot. I probably won't be able to visit you in quite some time.” Lowering his head, he sighed. “I know I haven't visited you in such a long time, and I'm sorry for that, but I've been busy with my writing and stuff, and I live pretty far from here and-”
A drop of water hit the ground in front of him, causing him to look up and scowl. “Oh for crying out loud...”
Silver waited to see how bad the rain was going to be. If it was just a light drizzle, he would be fine, but if there was going to be a downpour, he was going to have to cut his time short. To his surprise however, he did not feel any rain, nor could he see any falling around him, which confused him as he could very clearly hear a quiet drip of water hitting the ground close by.
His eyes widened with realization. “Oh...” he murmured, slowly lifting a hoof and touching the side of his face. He felt moisture there, a wetness that had nothing to do with the weather.
A shudder went through his body, forcing a pained grunt from his throat. “I'm sorry, I...” he gasped instinctively, trying to hold back the tidal wave that he knew was soon going to crash down upon him. Gritting his teeth, he squeezed his eyes shut.
“Be strong for me.” He heard a sickly voice in his head say.
With another convulsion, Silver's eyes flew open again, wide as saucers. He stared at the gravestones for a long moment, completely motionless save for the smallest twitch of his hoof or eye.
“Mom...” he whispered, his face starting to screw up as the tidal wave broke free and fell upon him. “I...promise...”
Finally, not being able to bear the strain anymore, Silver bowed his head with a wail of grief. His vision immediately became foggy as tears long repressed started to flow freely. He was wracked with convulsing sobs that shook him to his core as he cried for the first time in two decades.
“I promise...” he repeated, saying it nearly incoherently over and over again like it was a chant. “I promise...”
He collapsed to his stomach onto the sparse grass. Now he truly didn't mind the cold, although his coat protected him from the worst of it. The sharp feeling of icy pins served a welcome reminder that, even though she may be dead and buried, he was alive.
Silver didn't know how long he stayed like that, crying over the patch of dirt that Lily Quill was buried, his tears soaking into the sparse ground in time to his cries. It felt like hours, but it could have been no more than two minutes. All that he was aware of were the tears that would not stop falling.
He didn't even notice when it finally did start raining.
The rocking and rolling of the train car was making Silver drowsy, but he forced himself to stay awake. In between his hooves, he held a book, the romance novel that had caught his eye in Twilight's library that he had requested to take out, resulting in many giggles in his direction from the librarian.
His eyes flicked back and forth across the pages, occasionally rising to glance out the window and appreciate the scenery as he sped by. Rolling hills and tall trees surrounded him with jagged mountain peaks peeking over the top in the distance. He could just make out the Canterlot palace from where he was, its golden spires glinting in the light. Luna was probably up there in her room, the one situated in the highest tower, sleeping the day away in preparation for her night.
Silver smiled as he remembered the Princess of the Night's reaction to his announcement that he was leaving Canterlot. At first she was surprised, almost hurt even, but when he had explained his reasoning, she had been so overjoyed that she had picked him up between two hooves like a rag doll and squeezed him in a crushing hug.
“This is fantastic news young Silver Quill!” she had cried gleefully as she attempted to break his ribs. “Fantastic news indeed! I am most happy for you!”
Silver could have sworn that he had noticed a hint of satisfaction in her eyes, but it was gone before he could think anything about it.
She wasn't the only one who was excited either. Silver's father had been a curious mixture of ecstatic and melancholic about the news. He was so happy for Silver that he had found a somepony that he could love, but the fact that she was going to be taking his son away from him to a strange town had hit him fairly hard. He had had a bit of a cry over that, bemoaning the cruelties of the world that his little colt should be stolen away from him so soon, but in the end, he was happy for him, although he had threatened to smack him upside the head when Silver ashamedly told him about how long it took for him to get a hold on his feelings.
“I wish your mother could see this.” he had said fondly. “Our little Silver, moving away from home for a girl. She never would have believed it!”
They had spent the whole day together, walking around Canterlot and catching each other up with what they had been doing. His father demanded that Silver tell him everything he could about this mystery mare that had him leaving, and Silver had been more than happy to oblige.
“Ah, I can see it in your eyes Silver. The last time I saw you this happy was when you got a signed copy of that book you liked so much.” He had told his son with a smile. Silver had laughed at that. His signed copy of Wings of Iron, the story of a scrappy young pegasus caught up in a war between Ponies and the Griffins, was still one of his most prized possessions.
His smile slowly faded as his thoughts turned to the day before at the graveyard.
Sighing, Silver closed his book and set it aside. The recollection of sitting on the cold ground with nothing but a small coat to protect him from the rain made him shiver instinctively, but he had hardly felt it at the time. He had spent almost an hour in that exact same spot, shedding so many tears that he wouldn't be surprised if he had somehow permanently damaged his tear ducts. Years and years worth of pent up sadness had all broken free yesterday, like a dam bursting under the force of a raging river.
Despite this, Silver couldn't help but feel a strange sort of relief. It felt like a humongous burden had finally been lifted from his shoulders, one that he had been carrying for so long that he had actually forgotten that it was there. He felt like a caged bird that had for the first time in its life spread its wings and tasted freedom.
He breathed in deeply, smiling serenely. He couldn't help but marvel how much he had changed in the past few weeks. His entire life had been completely uprooted, turned and twisted as though it were a rubiks cube in the hooves of a child, and then set down miles away from where it was picked up, namely in a small town called Ponyville.
Silver started when the squeal of metal grinding on metal pealed through the train. Looking out the window, he could see a platform milling with ponies, a few creatures of other races interspersed in the multicoloured crowd.
Sitting up, his eyes eagerly scanning the crowd of ponies standing on the station, passing over one face before immediately turning to the next. He saw couples sitting side by side, families wandering in groups, individuals sitting around with bored expressions on their faces, but not the one he was looking for.
Picking up his carry on bag, Silver quickly got up and walked to the end of the train to the storage compartment, threading his way through ponies sitting up and heading for the doors. He quickly located his luggage, suitcases and duffel bags filled with clothes, books, and everything else he would foreseeably need until the rest of his stuff arrived from Canterlot. Lighting up his horn and telekinetically grabbing his stuff, Silver quickly made his way to the exit of the train. Careful not to accidentally bump his bags into anything or anypony on the way. His books were in there after all.
Walking through the door, Silver felt a slight tug from behind. Turning around, he realized that carrying all of his luggage out at the same time was not a very good idea as they were all stuffed in the doorway that was too narrow for them to fit through all at once. Grimacing, Silver Quill wrapped a hoof around an exposed handle and gave a mighty tug.
The luggage came loose, but Silver was thrown backwards as it all crashed on top of him, sending him sprawling. He let out a pained 'oof!' as a suitcase hit him right in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him.
Silver lay on his back on the wooden platform floor, discombobulated and wheezing. Around him, ponies looked at him, some with amusement and others with sympathy, but they all had their own business to attend to, so they simply passed by him.
“Whoo-whee, you sure took a tumble there!” a voice said from above him, an orange face appearing in his field of view. “Ya'll alright down there?”
Silver grinned weakly at the stetson wearing pony. “H-hey Applejack.” he replied. “We have got to start meeting in different places.”
The apple farmer smirked. “Whatever ya say Silver, but I think ya'll got a more important problem right now...” She reached out with her hoof, and Silver gratefully took it before she hauled him to his hooves so quickly that she almost knocked him off of them again.
“Thanks.” he said as he focused on keeping his legs underneath him. “What do you mean, 'more important problem?'”
Before Applejack could say anything, a familiar voice called out from behind him.
“Silver!”
His ears perked immediately and he spun around to see a lavender mare trotting towards with a worried look on her face. “Are you okay?” she asked, quickly closing the distance between them and looking him up and down.
Silver's face reddened. “Heh...saw that did you?” he asked with embarrassment.
“We all did dude.” an came an amused voice from above. Silver looked up to see Rainbow Dash hovering with crossed hooves and a smirk on her face. “Quite the crash you had there.”
Silver spied three more ponies walking towards them through the crowd, Fluttershy with a similarly worried expression on her face, Pinkie Pie, bouncing without a care in the world, and Rarity with a grinning dragon whelp on her back.
“Oh goodness!” Fluttershy cried, although it really sounded more like she just said it in what most would be a normal tone of voice. “Are you alright?”
His embarrassment deepening, Silver nodded. “I'm fine, I'm fine.” he reassured them. “Nothing but a bruised pride.” Rainbow Dash snorted from where she hovered, causing Twilight to shoot her a disapproving look. The pegasus smiled sheepishly.
“Well, as long as you're okay, and we're okay, and everypony's okay, then everything is A-okay!” a chipper voice cried as Pinkie Pie bounced over and picked up one of his bags with her teeth. “An' tha's a goo' fing!”
Rarity rolled her eyes and smiled. “Indeed Pinkie, it is a good thing.” Turning her attention to Silver Quill who was frantically picking up his fallen possessions, she gave a small chuckle. “You sure know how to make an entrance, don't you?”
Attempting to pull his bag from Pinkie Pie's mouth; she seemed to think that they were playing a game of tug o war, Silver smiled. “Right. What she said.” he said as he telekinetic lifted both the bag and the mare off the ground, causing her to fall off with a laugh.
With his stuff now all in order and sitting next to him, Silver looked at the mare's who were watching him expectantly. His eyes lingered on Twilight's for half of a second more.
“Well, I'm home.” he said with a shrug. “What now?”
All at once, they broke into big smiles and immediately started to walk him away from the station, chatting away about what they had to do now that he was officially a resident of Ponyville. Much to Silver's delight, Twilight immediately fell in beside, telekinetically lifting some of his bags. He gave her a smile, one that spoke of far more than just a simple thanks, and she returned it in kind.
To his utter non-surprise, Rarity seemed to notice this and give a small, self satisfied smile that nobody but him noticed.
“I'm home.” he thought with an immense amount of satisfaction, looking around him at the ponies milling about, occasionally glancing back at Twilight. “And there's nowhere else I'd rather be.”
As they stepped off of the station, Pinkie Pie suddenly let out a loud gasp, immediately drawing attention to her.
“I just realized something!” she declared in an awestruck voice. “This means that I can throw a 'Welcome Back to Ponyville Party!'”
The group sighed in equal measures of amusement and disbelief. As they walked, Pinkie rambled on and on about what they were going to do for his Welcome Back to Ponyville party. Normally, Silver might find himself becoming slightly annoyed by this, but right now, he found that he didn't mind her ramblings at all.
There was only one thing in the world that was important to him right now, and with her walking right next to him, Silver didn't have a care in the world.