//------------------------------// // Never is a Strong Word // Story: Unfortunate Side Effects // by DWhay //------------------------------// Twilight rose from her sleep, hardly remembering where she was at or the date, the time. She didn’t know if it was night or day, or perhaps she was in purgatory, where the sun never moves from its eternal place on the horizon. The hard bed beneath her was stuffed with what smelt of old, mildewed feathers and pelts from various animals. The blankets themselves were moleskin. She looked around to see that the whole room was decorated with products that were made almost solely from the bodies of other creatures. To her horror, the dress that she found herself wearing was made of dragon-scales. She immediately leapt up and backed up into the bedframe, disgust and the urge to vomit rising in her throat. She wanted to cry and scream and lose what little she’d eaten the last time she was at a table, whenever that had been. She began to tear at the dress, until she realized that she wasn’t alone in the room. She met her own gaze in the dim lighting of the room, her mauve eyes glinting like razors. Her own version of corruption sat across from the bed, in a high-backed chair that was made of the bones of some massive creature. By the skull that hung from the back of the throne, it was a dragon. Her own self rose from the chair, smiling broadly at how mortified her other half looked. She was pressed against the headboard, refusing to touch any inch of the room that seemed to be made of the souls of those passed. The other her felt the same rage, the same outwards revulsion towards the version of herself that was trying not to cry, crouching at the far end of the bed, scared beyond reason. “Look around.” She said, picking up what looked like the skeleton of a rat and throwing it onto the bed. “You will outlast them all. Consider me to be the you from the future. You might wonder why the mare that sent you here did so… she wanted to know if you can handle it. Can you handle me? I wonder… would you beg and cry for your own innocence when you get to dance on graves of those past just by being alive?” “What are you talking about?!” Twilight exhaled, her breathe shaking, ready to crack her voice. “This is sick! These were all living things! The least you could have done is respected them with a grave.” “I did.” The other her retorted, watching her mirror image intently. “They all expired from natural causes. Because you’re not natural, you outlasted them all. So I want to put this into perspective. On just how many ponies, dragons, animals, even maybe a few draconequi , will pass in front of you, and maybe even be your friend at some point, and go on to die. I simply wanted to show you the pressure that you’re going to feel if you don’t take my offer.” “I know better than to listen to you.” Twilight said, feeling the scales on her coat sting her like hot irons. She wanted to be rid of the barbaric gown, to throw it off and burn it. But something told her it would be better to not be exposed in front of this perverse, corrupt image of herself. “Oh, you’re right about that.” The other her sneered. “You know best after all. Look at how many times you were wrong if you’d like to see just how wrong you are. You’ve been listening to me all along and not known it, coming to Ponyville, making these petty things called ‘friends’. Now you just need to take the next step and learn how to use your friends to their full potential.” “So this is what you want? Me to use my friends so that I can better my own standing?” “Oh, please. Don’t flatter yourself. I wanted you to know how you can get the most out of manipulating them while they’re still alive. The most… entertainment.” The way that she said that made Twilight want to close her eyes and cover her ears, to pretend like this was all a nightmare. “They are so fragile, so short-lived… I remember when the first one died for me. Do you want to know who it was?” “I’m not listening to you.” Twilight said defiantly. “Nothing you can say will make me talk to you. I know that you’re going to try to get me to hand over control. I won’t let you.” The look on the other Twilight’s face went from amused to blindly furious, her eyes flashing like the fangs on a cobra. The other her stormed over to her mirror image and grabbed her, pulling her down to eye level with herself. She stared into her eyes for a long time, fragile, vulnerable purple meeting the razor-sharp edge of her own mauve-tinted corneas. She breathed like she was doing everything she could to contain herself, pupils shaking with the effort. Her breathe smelt of grapes, like wine that had been aged for a millennium. “I. Can. Hurt. You.” She hissed, releasing herself from her own iron grasp. “And I will not hesitate to do so, either.” Twilight lit her horn, trying her best to frantically teleport away. Her opposite was on her in an instant, pushing her horn down into the bedsheets with a single hoof. The amount of pressure she was exerting on her was unrelenting, and the murderous fire in her eyes made it very clear she wouldn’t hesitate to snap it in two if it meant keeping her under control. Twilight suddenly felt more vulnerable than ever, her most prized possession being pushed on like a toothpick that could be snapped at her Id’s discretion. The other her sighed and let her go, but remained on top of her, legs pinning the alicorn’s like she was a ragdoll. Twilight could feel her mirror’s eyes scouring her, drinking in every detail of how her skin rippled around her shoulders and how she instinctively curled into herself, fearing for her life. “So… weak. A perfect ruse to play with, the perfect body to use to exploit others for a little fun. For what other thing is there but entertainment when you live forever? It’s all in what you fill eternity with, and I think that slowly using your delicate little body to do that would be…” The antithesis breathed deeply near her neck, making Twilight shut her eyes and turn away from her. “… so very entertaining. I can already feel you at the back of my head, out of control, while I live your life, exploiting everypony you know as I see it fit.” “Please… I never want to hurt anypony.” “You hurt everypony every time they look at you.” She said, still unbearably close to Twilight’s neck. She had her ear a millimeter from her artery, listening to every little hummingbird flutter of her heart. “Every time a pony looks at you they think to themselves of how you will carry on, while they have to grow old and become hideous.” Twilight was doing her best to maintain her composure, but the way her other self was gazing at her, like a predator, looking at her skin like it would make a perfect pelt to drape over her shoulder, was driving her to hysteria. She couldn’t keep this up with her an inch away from her, her breathe intoxicating her with its sickeningly sweet perfume. She tried to move her hoof, but she had it pinned so tightly that it barely shifted. The other her was lifting her hoof, reaching towards herself with a look of intrigue. Twilight had no choice but to hold still as the other her ran her hoof down the nape of her neck, then grazed it over the knots tying the dragon-scale dress to her back. She erupted into tears, unable to maintain her façade any longer. “There it is.” She chuckled. “I knew that you would crack eventually. Now… listen to me carefully, and I will never, ever bother you again. Visit Spike tonight, slip into his bed. Then, let go. I’ll do the rest, and I’ll show you how entertaining eternity can be.” Twilight leapt up with a strength she didn’t know she possessed, turning over and jumping to her hooves, throwing her other self sprawling onto the floor beside the bed. Luckily her Id cracked her head on the dragon-bone chair, and she used that time to run towards the door. Unluckily for her, her more corrupt version of herself had undone the knots on the back of her dress. The dress fell down to her knees, tripping her and sending her face-first into the thick carpet. She felt a hoof grab her and, with such force it could only be described as supernatural, pull her up onto the bed again. She met herself, looking beyond rage. She didn’t look angry, on the contrary, she looked extremely calm. The other mare smiled, and with the same calmness that she was regarding her mirror image, pushed her down onto the bed with a hoof, until she was practically standing on her chest. “I tried to help you.” Her Id said, her voice a smooth, emotionless monotone. She seemed oblivious to the mare beneath her struggling to breathe under her weight. “But… no. I’m going to give you one last chance, Twilight. But before I do, I want to remind you of something. “ All of the sudden she vanished from on top of Twilight. Twilight blinked once, then twice. Confused, she sat up. She leaned back onto a large plush pillow, wondering just where her other half had gone. Then she felt her hoof begin to move, without any effort on her part. She watched with growing dread as she lost control, until eventually she heard a voice that wasn’t hers, but still sounded like hers, come from her lips. “Look at yourself. Look at me.” She said to Twilight, holding her hooves up to demonstrate that she was in complete control. “I can do whatever I want to you, and by that I mean whatever my half of your mind can conjure. I can use magic, and I can make you wish you weren’t born.” ‘Stop this! It doesn’t feel right when you move my arms… I don’t feel like I’m myself anymo-’ “Good.” Her other self said with her mouth, licking her lips to further unnerve her unwilling passenger. “Now watch closely. I’m going to show you that you aren’t just you. You’re mine as well. This, is my face.” With that she lifted her hoof and pressed it to Twilight’s cheek, forcing her to feel every inch of her cheek before she continued. “And these, are my legs. They are mine, and I can do as I wish with them… and then, you’re most… precious asset that I have owned since the day you were born.” Twilight screamed in horror at the back of her own head as she watched herself spread her wings, horn sparking with anticipation. She looked down at herself, running her hooves over her chest until they reached her waist, then, slowly, as to distress her even more, Twilight’s Id trailed her hooves towards her thighs. Twilight was beyond violated; this was wrong on a whole new level. She was being abused by her darker side, alone with no help, chained to a wall in the back of her head with no control over anything. She begged and cried as her hooves ran steadily upwards, until eventually she could feel a slight pressure between her legs, on the most sensitive, delicate part of her femininity. “Do I make myself clear?” Her darker half whispered sweetly, in a way so cruel but so honey-coated that Twilight was nearly reminded of Celestia. “I hope I do, because if I do and you don’t do as I ask, there will be… unforeseen consequences.” Twilight nodded at the back of her head desperately, pleading with herself to release control of her body. It felt so wrong, so inherently amoral to be touched by somepony other than herself in control of her body, like being a puppet on a string. But her other side wasn’t done yet. She forced her to roll over to the other side of the bed. She stood and looked over to the side of the room, spotting a small bottle on the dresser. She strode over to it and uncorked it. She looked herself in the mirror and Twilight winced in pain at how she winked at her, as if a final jeer, a final message that she was in control. She downed the potion, lights popped in front of her eyes, and she lost consciousness. HR Twilight shot bolt upright in bed, looking around frantically and patting herself to make sure that she was the one in control of her own body. She saw that the room she was now in was sterile white, with splashes of gold. She noted the marble and the chandelier in the middle of the tower. After a few moments, she determined that she was in Celestia’s turret suite. The princess herself was at a large desk next to the bed, reading an extensively thick volume on legal strategies. The sun was making it so bright in there that the overwhelmed alicorn had to squint, the bright marble reflecting the sunlight around the room in a way that she was sure would blind her after a month of staying in there. “So do you mind explaining to me why you were tucked into a hobble on side of that isolation cell? I’m sure that you thought it was comfortable. I had to go and fetch you, after all.” “You… you brought me back here?” Twilight said in confusion. “Yes.” The princess answered in the affirmative. “As much as I would have loved to leave you there and have you wake up with the worst backache in history, I had a slight shift in my moral state. And I knew that there must have been another reason for your sudden bout of lethargy.” “I… I was tired from all the stairs.” Twilight bluffed proffesionally. “Oh. Ten flights must have been so hard on you.” Celestia said, looking at her critically. “You know I sent you down there so that you’d come to an agreement with yourself. I was testing your mettle. Now, did you lose control or did you make a bargain with your Id? I’m curious.” The young alicorn swallowed a lump in her throat. “An… an agreement.” She said, unnerved by how accurate Celestia was proving to be. It was like she’d done the same thing herself at some point. “I wanted to know because you are uncomfortably weak.” She continued. “I’ve noticed that you’re not as cautious as you once were, and that means that your Id had been able to influence you behind the scenes without you knowing it. So she already had a hold on you. Now, what agreement did you reach? If you feel like telling me, of course. I’m sure that it’s an intensely private matter, the deals one makes with oneself.” “That’s private.” Twilight said, pulling the sheets higher over her chest. She felt defensive; Celestia was being invasive, and she knew it. She was just pressing her for information. “Fine.” Celestia said. “Your penance had been taken up, and you no longer owe me anything. So, you may go at any point in time. Just make sure that you take care to keep yourself in check.” HR Twilight left her tower a short half-hour later, thinking to herself just how she was supposed to honor the unholy agreement with her Id. The thought of what she wanted to do made her skin crawl at just how much it involved her making herself feel like a hormone driven animal. She was being blackmailed into taking major advantage of a dragon that she’d known for her whole life. It was so wrong that she swore that there must be something she could do that would make their verbal contract void. These thoughts consumed her until she reached the door to Luna’s tower a half an hour later, and she was still unable to come to an agreement with herself. Nothing she thought of would ever dissuade her darker half, so she kept thinking. There had to be something… something she could do. Then, like the sun parting through the clouds, she had an idea. She would ask Luna about it later on, but she knew that it had a good chance of working. If her mirrored self was as driven as entertainment as she thought, she knew just what she could do to amuse her. As she walked past the living room she noticed that Spike was already asleep on the couch, and Luna could be heard upstairs bustling about, re-arranging her furniture. Twilight galloped up the stairs excitedly, eager to see her best friend again. As she cleared the last flight of steps she noticed that not only was Luna there, but Cadence was as well. They looked like they were making important decisions on where to place a full-wall mirror when she came in, eager to see how long she’d actually been gone from reality. Luna turned to see her and smiled, trotting over to her and wrapping her in an embrace, glad that she was alright. “You were gone almost all night. I was beginning to worry when Celestia told me that you were okay. I visited, but you didn’t wake up… so I decided that you could come back to find my room a little more… spacious. I added a few more enchantments to the tower, so it’s about forty feet larger in diameter, and now I have a bed for you.” When Twilight looked over she saw that Twilight had her own four-poster, queen-sized bed laying on a raised platform with steps, just like Luna’s was. The whole side of the room was lilac, down the carpet and the curtains on the windows. There was a large chest for her things, and a totally blank bookshelf for her own use, as well as a writing table stocked with inkwells. It was downright cozy. Twilight turned to congratulate her, but she was once again focused on placing the mirror just so that it lined up with her own dresser’s, making an infinite mirror. Twilight shrugged and turned to Cadence, who looked much less busy. “Hey Twilight.” She greeted her, tilting her head to the side, curious. “It seems that Luna’s really going out of her way to make you comfortable here. I hope you like it here, even though it can get awfully boring if you don’t have something to do. I have a hobby, but even then sometimes I get bored. It’s just the slow living style of the castle that gets to me on occasion.” “I don’t think that I’ll be bored, Cadence.” The youngest alicorn replied, looking around. Things were being put into their proper place now that Luna had the mirrors aligned. “I have my hooves pretty full with just getting myself oriented.” “Okay then.” Cadence shrugged, smiling. “Make sure you remember to breathe every once and a while around here, maybe go out on a walk. It’s not right to just keep yourself cooped up in here. I went camping in Everfree Forest just last weekend with Shining Armor, and it was divine. Just being able to feel the breeze is enough to make you want to smile.” As riveting as Cadence’s tales could be, Twilight was distracted by Luna struggling to handle a potion that was unfallible, meaning it prevented magical influences. She knew that potions like that were not very easily levitated, but an object you can use to carry it could. She helpfully lent a tray under the potion, allowing her roommate to guide the potion over to the designated alchemy table. Luna nodded gratefully, letting out her held breath as she finished with decorations. “I think that should about do it.” The princess said, glancing at the two younger alicorns. “I think that it would be best if you two headed downstairs. I’m tired, and want to keep this as simple as possible. Cadence… you’re welcome to stay as long as you like, but I will be going to bed soon. Twilight may do as she wishes as long as she’s with you, so long as she stays within a reason. Which I have all the faith in the world that she is capable of doing.” Luna ousted Cadence from the bedroom, hanging her head once she was gone in an exhausted manner. She straightened the hem of her dress and looked at Twilight, who smiled at her meekly. The princess returned the gesture before she walked over to the dresser, admiring herself. If it wasn’t for the fact that she didn’t want to sleep in it, she would have worn the dress indefinitely. She began to pull the dress up, but caught herself as she saw Twilight looking at her through the mirror. She let the dress fall back to her knees, giving her student and friend a distasteful, but interested glance back at her via the mirror, her eyebrow arched and the corners of her lips turned upwards. “It’s not polite to watch, Twilight dear.” Luna teased, still maintaining eye contact with her roommate’s reflection. What happened next both appalled and shocked the princess. Twilight’s reflection strode over to her and turned her face towards hers, and with a forceful, but extremely sensual hoof placed behind her head, pulled her close and locked her lips to her own. Luna could only look into the mirror in awe, dumbfounded as to how she should react. Twilight’s reflection pulled her down onto the floor by her head, pulling her to bear down on top of her, all with her lips still locked onto hers. Luna began to take off her dress in the mirror, prompting her to look away before the whole thing got completely out of hoof. She looked over towards Twilight, who looked equally as shocked as her. When they looked back there was nothing but their normal reflections of what was actually happening. “I… I don’t know how I did that…” The younger alicorn stuttered, so embarrassed that she was turning a deep scarlet. “I didn’t mean for it to show up on the mirror, I really didn’t….” Luna simply held up a hoof, muffling any further response by her student. She motioned for Twilight to turn around with her hoof, and then turned around herself. The ashamed mare did as she was told, pained beyond belief that she wasn’t able to control herself. She had been thinking about it, but just as a ‘wouldn’t it be nice if’ type of thought. There was no serious, conscious thought behind the whole imagined scenario. Yet still it had appeared on the mirror, as clear as if it had actually happened. The fact that her fantasy was been put on display was enough to make her want to leave the room. Luna was obviously disheveled by the experience, as she made no further attempt to talk to Twilight as she changed and then walked over to her bed. “I’m sorry.” Was all Twilight could muster. “I really didn’t mean to.” Luna turned back towards her and tilted her head to the side, as if she was pondering an extremely complex problem. Twilight’s pulse skyrocketed as the princess strode over to her and looked down at her, her expression a mask. The two regarded each other for a moment, until Luna moved so quickly that the younger alicorn barely even knew what was going on before it had happened. Luna leaned close and pecked Twilight on the cheek, so fast that it was like she’d merely grazed her lips over her before she turned away and strode over to her bed. She was whispering to herself, saying that had been completely inappropriate and unsafe, as if to convince herself. “I’m going to bed.” She announced, pulling back the curtain and settling in before closing it. “Goodnight… just call if you need me for anything.” Twilight said, wondering if she could maybe sleep in her bed again. It might lead to more physical contact with her, and to her that was exactly what she needed to take her mind off the events of the night previous. Twilight strode downstairs, feeling like she could already collapse. She had to check up on something first. Spike was still there, but she still needed to check. She tiptoed her way over to the writing desk and opened the bottom drawer on the left, which was the one drawer that was locked. In it was a bracelet, one that she was going to make into something that make into something that would render her useless to her Id as long as she wore it. She took out the single golden band and admired it in the lamplight briefly, especially the single diamond that was housed on the outermost section of the band. She took it and a large amount of ink, hoping that it would be enough to put the enchantment on the aforementioned trinket. She hurried to write the correct runes of the paper, burning through page after page, a single rune taking up a fourth of the page. She wrote a paragraph in all, but she needed the symbols on it to be large enough to be correctly inscribed into the inside of the bracelet. When she was done with the hardest part she threw away the quill and arranged the paper in a tight circle around the brace, being careful to not let any papers touch or overlap, as that would lead the spell to fail. She spaced each as evenly as possible and had paid specific attention to make sure that not a single drop of ink connected any of the runes. Each was its own word, and if they ran together the enchantment’s meaning could become open to interpretation. Simply thinking about it in a different way would negate the effect completely. With her task nearly complete she checked one last time, then began to mutter a simple casting spell under her breath. ‘This has to work.’ She kept thinking to herself, willing the spell to be stronger. ‘It has to.’