//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: Trevor Unleashed // Story: Grand Theft Trevor // by RainbowBob //------------------------------// “Ron? Ron? You there? Goddamnit Ron, pick up the phone!” “Y-yes?” Ron muttered into his floor, gulping nervously. “Whatcha n-need, Chef?” “It’s Trevor! I can’t find him anywhere!” Chef said on the other end of the line, his voice panicky and quick. “First a bunch of cultists came over, then there was a shootout and the meth lab exploded! I can’t find Trevor anywhere! I dunno if he was vaporized in the blast or he’s out there somewhere! Have you seen him?” “Um… nope, haven’t seen Trevor anywhere,” Ron replied, a bead of sweat rolling down his temple. “A-are you sure he’s dead?” “Like I said, Ron, I’m not sure. A grenade managed to go off in the meth lab, and now the entire second floor is gone, Trevor with it. All those cultists managed to get killed in the blast, but all the bodies are so badly burned I can’t tell whether Trevor joined them.” “Well, I’ll be on the lookout in case Trevor arrives back at the trailer,” Ron said. “Be seeing ya later.” Ron hit the end call button on the phone, sighing in relief when the gun that had been poking him painfully in the back of the head was drawn away. “Good boy, Ron, you did just as we asked,” a man sitting in the shadows of the trailer said, crossing his legs and leaning back in his seat. “Y-yeah, I did,” Ron said, glancing nervously at the heavily armed security guard standing right beside him that had been the one holding the gun to his head. “I always did know the government would invade my home one day.” “Well, the government is not really the ones holding you hostage,” the man said, chuckling lightly under his breath. “After all, Merryweather security isn’t affiliated with the United States government any longer. All its contracts were dropped. So now just a small, private army has invaded your home.” “Why a-are you even here anyway?” Ron asked, adjusting his black rim glasses. “Well, we were originally here to intercept Trevor in case those cultists I paid off to kill him failed,” the voice replied. “But since we know that son of a bitch is dead now, you are no longer needed.” Ron’s heart skipped a beat, just for the Merryweather mercenary next to him to say, “Wait, boss, there might be a problem with that?” “What problem could there possibly be? There’s no way that bastard is still alive after a meth lab explosion.” “The scanners picked up a disturbance near the area of the explosion,” the guard said. “There could be a chance…” “No… no, no, no, fuck!” the man hidden in the shadows growled, slamming his fist on the arm of his seat. “If he of all people mess things up now by being there, then we’re fucked!” “Should I send an extraction team to retrieve him?” “Retrieve? The only thing I want retrieved of that psychopath is his head!” the man shouted, causing Ron to flinch and jump in his seat. “Is that understood?” “Yes sir!” the Merryweather mercenary said with a salute, making his way out of the trailer. “Kill anyone else you meet on the other side as well!” the man called out as the guard left. “Our plan is already in motion, so we might as well as reveal ourselves now. Leave no witnesses if you can help it!” “What are you guys even talking about?” Ron asked, his eyes moving furtively as his questions stacked up. The man chuckled, developing into a full roaring laugh. Getting up from his seat, he made his way before Ron, arms on his side. “What we’re talking about is the future. Of Merryweather, America and this entire fucking world. A new age is upon us, and I intend to set it off with a bang!” “But what about Trevor?” Ron asked, mouth agape as he took in the figure that was speaking to him. The man smiled, leaning closer to Ron so they were eye to eye. “Trevor is what stopped me last. And I swear to God, I intend to make sure he doesn’t do it twice. He’s as good as dead.” “I ain’t dead yet, assholes!” Trevor shouted, slamming the end of the spear into yet another guard’s head. Already a pile of unconscious bodies had formed a perimeter around the untamed maniac, Trevor eagerly adding onto the piles with a fresh batch of guards. Overall, Trevor was both impressed and having the time of his life. On one hand, this was one of the mellowest high dreams he’s ever had, while on the other hand the sheer fun at beating up helpless nobodies made up for it. The weird looking guards were made up of stranger varieties of ones with horns and others with wings. Though they were all pretty easy to beat up all the same. “Come on, at least help me break into a sweat!” Trevor taunted, swinging high and managing to catch one of the winged guards on his side. He crashed into the earth, tumbling through the dirt and impacting into a stone statue. Turning around to admire that spectacular finisher, Trevor quickly turned back with spear in tow to smack a guard that thought he could catch Trevor by surprise. The only thing he managed to catch was a spear end with his face. “I ain’t even winded!” Stepping over the body of the downed guard, Trevor stared down at a group of about half a dozen guards who were wise to back away from the crazed individual. Grinning with a malicious intent at the remaining guard force, Trevor asked, “So, anyone else gonna escort me from the premises? Or how about kick me the fuck outta here? Anyone at all? Come on, I accept volunteers!” “This thing is crazy!” one guard said, backing away as Trevor neared them. “He took out the entire guard force by himself. Himself! With just a spear, too! He’s unbeatable!” “Thanks for the compliments, pumpkin,” Trevor said, pointing the bloody spear end in the guard’s direction. “So instead of killing you along with the others, I’ll just be sticking this spear straight up your ass!” The guard gulped, with Trevor smiling even wider. “Though I am going to keep it a secret which end will go into you ‘til the time is right, sweetcheeks. Let’s say it’ll be a nice surprise.” The guard went running instantly, forgoing his duty to his country and companions to save his own ass, literally. Making his way to the five remaining guards while whistling in a nonchalant manner, Trevor stopped before them and held his arms wide open. “So, who’s it going to be to take on the T? Come on, I can handle you all on at once! I’ve experimented a bit in my younger days, so come at me! Fuck, I was in the military, just like you guys! I know how it goes down in the locker rooms!” Trevor shouted, winking with a perverted intent at the remaining guards. The guards stared at one another for a short moment, going over the situation. A mysterious figure that appeared out of nowhere viciously beat up the entire guard force and seems to be completely out of its mind and eager to finish them as well. With that in mind, running away like cowards was the only practical way to save themselves. Luckily for the weak-hearted guards, Celestia and Luna arrived just in the nick of time. Both sisters stared in open shock at the amount of collateral body damage the strange creature had inflicted upon their guard force. “W-what did you do?” Celestia stuttered, unbelieving in the sight before her. Guards who were still somewhat awake moaning in pain, while others stood still, either dead or knocked senseless. “Oh, looks like the big boss is finally here!” Trevor said, sticking the blade end of his spear in the dirt and running towards the pair. Stopping with a short jump so he stood directly before them, Trevor clapped his hands and pointed at the pair. “And the thing brought numero dos,” Trevor said while staring at Luna. “Since you’re like, the only black one I’ve seen since I arrived here, I’m guessing you’re the token black guy… or whatever the hell you are?” “Token black guy?” Luna repeated, visibly grimacing at the creature’s appearance. Not only did it have a foul stench attached to it, but it was covered in grime and filth. Along with an ugly mug of a face and noticeably balding head, the mere sight of the creature was repulsive to both princesses. “What, you deaf or something?” Trevor asked, cupping a hand to his mouth. “I said token black guy! Are you one of those?” “Sister, what is this creature even talking about?” Luna asked Celestia, the pristine white alicorn unsure of how to answer that. “I don’t know, Luna, but I am sure for one thing. It isn’t getting away with this!” Celestia replied, scowling at the monster. “Hey, first off, I am right in front of you. So include me in the conversation when you’re up for it,” Trevor said, holding his hands up at his sides. “Secondly, my name is Trevor. So no it business, got it? Now, you got anything to eat?” “Silence!” Celestia said with a commanding tone, the guards and Luna wincing at the sharpness of her voice. “You harm my guards and direct my sister and I in such a disrespecting tone, and you expect me to to acquire something to nourish you?” “Whoa, easy there with the fucking loud as hell voice, princess,” Trevor said, digging his pinkie into his ear. “And like I give two fucks beating on your fucking guard force and talking to you and your sis like the fat cows you are. Now make me a fucking sandwich.” “What? You said what to me?” Celestia snarled, her eyes glowing a bright whiteness now. Trevor rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Sheesh, are you as fucking deaf as your sister too? This is probably just another high dream of mine, so I’m asking a figment of my drug addled imagination to make me a fucking sandwich. So go fucking do it already!” “Listen you sniveling, whiny imbecile,” Celestia began, taking a step closer to Trevor while everyone else took a step back. “I am Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria and owner of the castle you have trespassed on. You hurt my guards and insulted me and my sister, who is also a ruler of this nation. You crimes are grave and your future bleak at the complete disregard for law and order you have shown with your actions!” Celestia gritted her teeth, eyes shining brighter as her horn began to glow a luminous yellow. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Trevor rubbed his chin and nodded, wagging his finger in the air as he turned around. “Yeah, I do,” Trevor said, turning back around with a sawed off shotgun pointed directly at Celestia’s skull. “Don’t mess with a guy with deep pockets!” Trevor pulled the trigger.