//------------------------------//
// Chapter 22: Foalhood memories 
// Story: Dream Whisper 
// by Dream Whisper 
//------------------------------//

The pause was silent. Nopony was in the mood to speak. Although it had been an illusion, it had felt like leaving a friend behind. After a minute or so, Rainbow Dash was the first one to talk: 
“Girls, I know how you feel, but we have to get the rea... we have to get Twilight now.”
It took a moment, but in the end we all agreed. It was the last light in this dream world. After breathing through one last time, I jumped through, taking everypony with me. The dream was actually very similar to Pinkie Pie's dream. Instead of being placed outside a bakery, it was the same tree library house again. We stepped inside and there was Twilight lying on her bed and staring out of the window. This would be easier, than I had thought. 
“Twilight? You have to come down here.”
I just yelled, not knowing if she would actually react. She responded: 
“Why should I?” 
She got me slightly confused: 
“Well, you need to get together with your friends and use the Elements of Harmony.” 
Twilight turned around, rage burning in her eyes: “I have got no friends!”

That answer was as unexpected as dangerous. The dream started to shake, almost like an earthquake. Everypony fell down, when the dream shook harder and harder, turned upside down, downside up. I landed hard on the side and all the air left my lungs. I started to pant for air. The dream stopped shaking, but my head was still swirling. Something big had happened, but before I could make it out, I had to stop my mind from being so jumbled. When I looked up in the room, it looked a lot different. 

The walls were painted red and only a small white bed and a brown drawer gave the room texture. Everypony was gone. After looking around some more, I discovered stairs leading down. I decided to take them, because what else was there to do? Downstairs, I found a long corridor with mostly same doors except for one, that looked a bit different. I decided, that that would probably be the main entrance and I was right. I stepped out to a place, I had never seen before. It was a gigantic city, ponies walking everywhere. I decided to follow the masses; Exquisite botiques and fine bakeries. After a while, I realized, that I actually knew this place; It was Canterlot, just much brighter, than I had memorized it – even before it was turned into one huge cementary. I had to turn around, when the dream edge came in sight, but this walk actually had it's advantage; By the direction of the dream edge, which was mostly a sphere around the dreamer, I could guess in what direction Twilight had to be.

I walked into orthogonal direction to the approximate plane representing a tangent plane to any point on the sphere, thus along the line with the normal vector of the pane, which should be exactly along the radius of the circle. If I would also consider the concavity of the sphere and create a cone of a distinct size, Twilight should be on the top of that cone... 

Let us just say, I was trying to find Twilight. (with math)

After an eternity or two, I finally found her. I was walking around the same block, where I guessed she had to be, for the 20th time. I had already resigned and started looking into some windows; And there she was, filly Twilight, staring out of the window of something, that seemed to be... Yes, it was a kindergarten. A small sign on the front read: 'Magic kindergarten of Canterlot' - Canterlot was impressively ornamented - 'Home of the future'. So, that is where Twilight had had her foalhood. I knew we had to end this dream, but I could not just take Twilight with me in filly form. What if she actually stayed a filly afterwards? At that point, I wondered, if all the fillies, I had met in my dreams had actually been fillies or grown ups, who had a dream about their foalhood. I realized, that her own words had somehow caused Twilight to relive her foalhood.

Maybe, if I could help her out, she would stop dreaming about her foalhood. Another problem of mine was, that everypony else was missing too, so we would have to find them all again afterwards. To solve Twilights problem, I had to realize her problem first. Right now, she was just staring out of the window of her kindergarten class. At this moment, the bells rang and everypony trotted out into the inner playground, except Twilight. The teacher was looking at her in pity. Twilights eyes told even more: They told stories about a lonely filly, just seeking for attention, for friends, for somepony to have fun with and drowning it all with books. The teacher left the room and Twilight was all alone.

How could I help her? I could not just walk in there, I was still a grown pony, so it would be the strangest thing for me to walk into a kindergarten. Even if I got in there, how could I help her? How could I get her onto other thoughts, thoughts of being grown up, preferably? The only way to get anything to work was using dream logic. I had to get closer. For that, I had to be a filly or her supervisor. I decided it would be the easiest way to become her supervisor, by dream logic of course. I opened the doors and walked into the long corridor. Luckily, everypony except Twilight was playing outside. The supervisors were occupied at watching all the fillies, so I was able to sneak to the door of her kindergarten class. I opened it, only looking through with my head. Twilight had noticed the door opening and turned around. I was a bit unsure, if this would work, a bit scared of the consequences, if I would be caught: 
“I... I am the new pony.” 

Twilight obviously misunderstood me; Or dream logic failed; Or my face happened to be very very young looking. Within a single heartbeat, I came much closer to the floor. I looked at my body and it was disastrous; I had actually turned into the filly version of myself. 
Not even the real filly me, but how you would guess that I would look like, guessing only by my face. It was almost scary to see, how dream logic could do that, transform me this way. I wondered, if it was really stronger than any magic and I came to the conclusion that yes, it had to be. No magic could do something like this, because magic was rational and a dream did not have those boundaries. However, maybe I just didn't know the real power of Twilight and her friends. I decided to take the chance and just walk in. If I lost more time, Twilight would just turn away again. It felt so weird, so really really weird to walk as a filly again. I almost tripped over twice. I decided to sit at the closest free chair to Twilight, which was actually the one in front of her... and the one at her side... and the one behind her. She was truly not a famous pony.

 “What is your name?” 
I went ahead. If I was given this chance, I had to take it. She was very shy, but her voice was unexpectedly strong: 
“I am Twilight Sparkle. What is yours?” 
It was strange to hear her as a filly. It sounded so innocent, but at the same time, so did I. 
“I am... I am Dream Whisper.” 
I was totally confused: I didn't usually stutter. Probably just another part of the picture, Twilight had made of me. I shouldn't have been so nervous when entering the door. I should have found another way, and now I was stuck like this, until I got her to think about being grown-up again. 
“That sounds so famililah.” 
Filly Twilight actually smiled for the first time. 
“Do you want to be my friend?” 
I asked and smiled back. I don't even know, what got me to do it. Either Twilight's wish for a friend was too big, or I had fully turned into an innocent filly. At the same time, it felt really good to just be so open. Nothing you had to hide, no need to beat around the bush. When she said yes, I felt a certain feeling of relief. Maybe I had never forgotten how to be a filly.

 “Let.. Let's play something.” 
I suggested and my grin got even bigger. This stuttering was really annoying, but well, I had to live with it now. We played a math game, a kindergarten math game. It literally was about addition of one-digit numbers and because of Twilight's advanced knowledge even about multiplication. In the end, I seriously lost. Sometimes, when it was my turn, I just forgot the answers to the problem. Afterwards, they all came back. At this point, dream logic started to get scary. What could it actually do to the ponies inside the dream? 
We played for the rest of the morning and noon, until the kindergarten ended. We didn't only play math games, by the way, we also played catch and hide and seek and similar games. At the end of the kindergarten, I realized, that I had a problem. Where would I go as a filly? Twilight had not changed the dream. I didn't know, if it was because I was a filly now, or because it was utterly scary, but I almost peed myself, when a mare and a stallion, who asked for me, tried to take me home. It got even scarier: I didn't even resist. 

When I think of it right now, my heart is still beating as fast as a purring cat. When I finally arrived at some home with my 'parents', I was sent into my room. I closed the door behind me and at first, I was just breathless.
This was indeed getting a bit out of hand. I was still a filly and Twilight didn't even look like she wanted to remember another time or place. For now, I was stuck here as a filly. It was so strange to see your own body, which isn't your own at the same time. The back of my body was a lot brighter and I was a lot thinner. Furthermore, I didn't have the same tail, I normally have, but a very bright one, matching the back of this... my... body. Maybe, she had taken the mental picture of a filly, she had seen sometime, but not actually met. I can only reiterate, how scary it was for me. What if I would come out of the dream as a filly? What if I couldn't get Twilight to change the time again? What was I supposed to do with these 'parents'? What, if they wanted to give me a good-night kiss or something? I looked at my body for a bit more and then I decided to just lay down. 

Before even starting to sleep, the world suddenly changed again. I almost hoped, I would be grown up again, but I was still the same. Instead my 'mother' came in and told me to get ready for school. Obviously, Twilight's mind had skipped her sleep. It would have been weird to sleep in a dream in a dreamworld in a dreamworld anyway. I followed my dream mother and did what she asked me to. In the end, she took me to the kindergarten, where I met Twilight again. It was a big relief to see her again, as she was the only pony right now, who I actually knew. 
There had to be something – an action or some words - , which had to lead her to skip the time back again. At first, I was a bit resistant, but I found more and more joy just playing and forgetting the world around me. 

This friendship actually continued in the same way for one more day. I started the day by doing what my dream mother told me to – She was a nice lady after all and a good mother. I went to kindergarten, playing with Twilight and not really getting forward with the problem. I ended the day with going to bed and thinking about how I could end it all. I would have been fine, if there had not been following concerns: 
I knew that, if I would come out of the dream as a filly, I would not have the ability to enter dreams anymore, leaving me as a filly for probably forever. 
I knew that the clock was ticking and I had no idea, what the shadows were doing to us. 
I knew that we still had not found the other girls and I didn't know, what implications it could have to lose real ponies inside a dream. I tried to maybe by accident say or do something, that would get her back, but nothing.
To be honest though, I also just kept enjoying the friendship with Twilight so much, that I actually almost always ignored those problems, saying to myself that there was enough time. 

At this third day, I realized, that I actually had to get out of this dream as soon as possible. Although everything seemed normal in the morning, something happened inside the kindergarten. Me and Twili were playing a game of bloopaloosa, where you have to push a figure towards somepony without getting seen. Twili's use of magic made that quiet easy for her, whereas I didn't allow myself to do anything, knowing what could happen. Or let me say, not willing to risk anything. Twilight would probably not believe a filly would be able to use immeasurable magic. Winning was not worth the risk, though.

As Twilight just won through a brilliant strike, where she distracted me with a flashing light, a wave of distortion came through the wall. Everything touched by the invisible wave got distorted for a moment, then returned to normal. When it moved through me, I realized, that it actually changed the dream. It was suddenly late in the afternoon already and Twilight just laughed about some joke, I had not actually told. I didn't know, if that even was good or bad. Either it was good, because the dream was skipping into future, or it was bad, because Twilight was waking up without me having done anything at all. I hated myself for not doing anything earlier, but it had been like a trance. Now, I didn't even have time to hate myself anymore. How could I get her to become grown up again? 
What if she would wake up before everything was restored to normal?

Almost an hour went by and I sunk into the joy of playing with Twili again. I think my filly-self wasn't really able to grasp the weight of the situation. Maybe the dream logic had changed more than I had expected, or maybe it was just some inner need for just playing with somepony, something I had not done since... well, since my foalhood. 

Another wave stopped my playful attitude once again. This time, it didn't advance the time to evening, it actually blacked me out for a couple of heartbeats and then it was a couple of years later. I was definitely in Ponyville, at the library tree, but there was an unicorn Twilight at the door, waiting for somepony. 
When she yelled “Dream Whisper, over here!”, I realized, that she had been waiting for me. 
I looked a lot closer to my normal self now, almost everything had returned to normal. It was a relief and a sad moment at the same time. On the one hand, I was normal again, which took a lot of my worries about the dream and made it possible for us to start searching Twili's friends. On the other hand, I had lost the possibility to just be a filly and play filly games. I know it sounds stupid, when you know, that I actually had to get everypony safely out of the dream, but it had been a nice time to relive. Even now, I still recognize it as one of the nicest times in my life, even though it had been so incredibly scary at the start. I guess the playing with Twili was the good part, the rest was just scary.

Now, arrived in Ponyville, we just had to find Twilight's friends. 
“We have to find your friends.” 
I just went ahead quite frankly. Twili did respond with a question. 
“Who do you want to find? You are my only friend.”
The realization hit me like a hoof: In her dream, Twilight had never met her friends, only met me. Which was weird, absolutely weird. I didn't even want to be a replacement friend for her real friends. I mean, being a part of her friends was nice, but being her only friend? That was really weird. I decided to get her to meet her real friends. Maybe, they would become friends again: 
“Err... Yes, yes... I meant, that we should find some other ponies around here and maybe become friends with them.” 
This time, Twili actually agreed: “Okay, where do you want to start?” 

Good question actually. If I knew, where Twilight had met all of her friends, it would have been to easy. I was quite desperate for an answer, until I remembered the following fact: In both dreams of Pinkie Pie, I had been in a bakery in Ponyville. 
“Let us go to the bakery.” 
I smiled at her. It almost felt, as if we had been friends forever. At the same time, I knew, that as soon as the dream ended, this feeling of friendship would be gone. Replaced by maybe agreement or in the best case mutual sympathy.

Twilight had not been too happy about the location, where I supposed to go, but she didn't disagree either. Some cupcakes would be good for her, even if my idea didn't work. Instead of us finding Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie actually found us. Like a storm, she rushed through the streets and upon noticing us, she got lots of lots of streamers out of a carriage, she was pulling. 'Prepared like a Pinkie Pie'... Maybe that could become a thing. 

Although I thought her cheerful attitude would win Twilight over, instead Twilight just shook her head and continued going. “Pinkie Pie? A stupid question, but do you remember me?” 
I was proud, how smart that actually had been: If she still knew me, it would be stupid for me to ask, if she actually knew me. If she didn't know me, it would be stupid for me to ask, if she actually did. She answered: 
“Of course I remember you, you big dummy.”
“Well, that is at least one bit of good news.”
I started catching up to Twilight, leaving the poor Pinkie Pie a bit behind, but she quickly recovered by starting to storm through the streets again. 
“Who was that crazy pony?” Twilight asked. 
As I had expected, she believed that she actually had no friends.
“I don't know, but she was certainly crazy.” I smiled at her. 

After ordering some cupcakes, we went out again. 
“And whew u wanf tu gow nou?” 
Twilight mumbled with her mouth filled by tasty iceing. I tried to remember another place from the dreams. 
“To the sweet apple acres.” I answered. 
Twilight was confused again, but she didn't say anything. 
Twili actually enjoyed the Apple Family's hospitality very much, but so did I. In addition to the cupcakes, we now had a giant apple meal and enough time to talk. Just during the feast, Twilight suddenly stopped eating. She had obviously felt more and more comfortable with Applejack over the course of the feast, so I was slightly confused. I looked closer and I saw something in her eyes; She was remembering. 

I can only guess what made her remember. Maybe the general feeling of friendship, although she seemed to have that for me in her dream, too. Maybe the friendship towards Applejack was anchored deeply in her unconsciousness and now she remembered that feeling. Maybe the dream was too far and she was just waking up, and that is why the feeling returned. 
In any case, I could really see her remembering. Another wave moved through the dream. This time it moved us into the future again. Although Twilight was now right next to me, everypony else was also here: Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. Furthermore, Twilight was an alicorn again. A sigh of relief slipped from my mouth. Everything would be just fine again... if there had not been these shadow beings. I looked around; We were in Ponyville again. 
“Twili, you have to go into the ponyville river. I know it sounds strange, but it's really important.” 
Twilight looked at me, as if I had just summoned a demon, but she didn't oppose to it. I created the shield around the others and myself, just before the dream started to recede.
We all arrived at the grey-ish dream world again. Too much had happened to just go into the first dream world instantaneously. I had a bit time to think about what happened, especially why Twili's dream had been so different to Pinkie Pie's dream. 

I think Pinkie Pie's dream had been about being left alone by everypony. Simply showing her, that other ponies still existed, solved that problem. Twilight's dream had been about not having any friends. The strange thing for me was, that even though Twili and I have had a friendship, that had not solved the problem. Maybe it had to do something with the Elements of Harmony, but who knows. Still, our friendship had been enough to make her skip time to being half-way grown up again. I wondered, how much of the feeling of friendship had come through the dream. 
Was I feeling closer to Twilight now, or was that just imagination, a placebo?