A shout of irritation echoed off of the skeletons that composed the castle walls, and over the dimly lit chamber in which the swordsman fought with his rivals of many battles in the past. "Eh?!" He looked over the weapon in one of his many hands. "Why, I've been had!"
Certainly, the sword looked like Excalibur, one of the twelve weapons of legend. Its blade had that same golden sheen, the same markings, and everything that the original had displayed in the paintings he had viewed and the documents he had pored over. But using it against his current adversaries seemed to have the same effectiveness as beating them with a rubber chicken. No, he immediately thought, as even that would have been more useful.
His name was Gilgamesh, one of the single most dangerous warriors in the entire world. A collector of swords, he was renowned for his brilliant strength, his vast variety of weaponry, his red-orange Genji armor – an immensely powerful suit known for its incredible protective ability –, and his magical prowess, based around learning the abilities of any foes he faced and adapting them to his personal style. His eight arms, some of which were gauntleted, gleamed in the low light of the lamps, as did his helmet and leggings. Only his chest, bare of the Genji mail, his face, and the arms that were uncovered by gauntlets could be seen, revealing his grayish skin.
In spite of a personal bias against him, Gilgamesh served as the second-in-command to the ruler of the corpse-laden castle, Exdeath, a warlock and former tree whose very existence emanated pure evil. The latter point was particularly prominent, and was what Gilgamesh despised the most about his work – Exdeath was known to slaughter, imprison, and torture anyone who even slightly disappointed him, no matter what position they held among his ranks. In fact, Gilgamesh sometimes questioned why he had yet to actually exit his position, only to remember in an instant what happened whenever one of Exdeath's servants "quit."
He shuddered at the mere thought of what he had witnessed in the past, but instantly turned his mind back on the battle at hand. Hoping for the best from his new sword, Gilgamesh altered his grip and swung the so-called "legendary weapon" towards Bartz and the other members of his party once more, praying that he was simply holding the blade wrong… only for it to bounce off of his rival's armor with the most quiet of squeaks.
Even with his derision of Exdeath and what his evil had wrought, Gilgamesh could not deny the true reason he continued to fight for him – the mere act of battle. To Gilgamesh, fighting was what he lived for and, much as he despised it, working for Exdeath had brought him many challenges and conquests that he had only dreamed of in the past.
Bartz and his group, consisting of the pirate-princess Faris, the princess-princess Lenna, and the other princess-princess Krile – formerly the old king of Bal, Galuf, but he had perished in a duel with Exdeath, much to Gilgamesh’s dismay; he had nothing against Galuf, and had been saddened by the news of his passing – were his greatest rivals, and some of the only men and women who had ever bested him in combat. Certainly, they were the only ones who had defeated him consecutively. He admired them for that.
Unfortunately, he did not know quite as much about them as he wanted to, mostly due to them having only interacted on a few occasions. Each of those times, however, their blades had crossed, and he always relished those encounters. But apart from the most basic information about them and their personalities, very little had been learned in regard to their lives.
Having grown fed up with the blade's edge being either disgustingly blunt or made out of cardboard, Gilgamesh threw the sword to the ground. It let out a rather surprising metallic clang as it hit the stone floor. "This," he said, the venom on his words evident, "is far from the strongest of swords! I feel so betrayed!"
Bartz's group had stopped attacking him completely, likely out of pity. He was about to make a scathing note about how absolutely stupid of an idea it was to leave a weapon that useless out in the middle of Exdeath's castle, but bit back the remark as the loud, angry voice of Exdeath echoed across the walls.
"Gilgamesh!"
He winced automatically. "Erk!"
For their part, his rivals all seemed to be looking around them in shock, as if trying to grasp just where the voice was coming from.
"You worthless fool!" Exdeath continued, his voice filled with pure, unfiltered malice. "For your continued bungling, I banish you from this dimension!"
Gilgamesh felt his eyes widen, and a chill ran down his spine. "Wh-what?! No!" he screamed to the world around him, but the cry seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. "Anything but that!"
"Silence!"
Gilgamesh felt the world beneath him either vanish or merely open up, and a black void began to pull him into its depths. His fingers scraped against the stone floor as he struggled to free himself, but they quickly slid away as the void’s force pulled him further within. Before he disappeared completely, Gilgamesh could see Bartz, Lenna, Faris, and Krile, all of whom covered their faces in an effort to look away from what was occurring before them. Even the ones who had bested him so frequently were horrified at the brutal and violent display, capped off by a single, terrified, and completely broken scream:
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
-- An Epic for Gilgamesh --
-- Episode 1: The Strange Swordsman Part 1 --
-- Written By ZaleAcon --
The world around Gilgamesh slowly came into focus, followed by a throbbing pain in his forehead. He sat up, clutching his skull with one of his hands, and realized that he had been lying atop a white, smallish bed. He gave the pain a moment to subside, although his vision was still tinted red.
As soon as his head stopped throbbing, Gilgamesh leapt high up into the air. He only barely managed to avoid slamming his head into the ceiling in the process, but landed gracefully enough.
But just as he stood up tall and stretched out his back, a new thought struck him: where was he?
He glanced about the odd place. At first glance, it appeared to be a house. Everything was made of wood, from the bed to the tables, and the floor and ceiling even had signs of knots and circles in them, almost as though the building was actually inside of a giant tree. The walls, oddly enough, were covered in bookshelves, but they seemed to be somewhat warped to fit the circular walls. He turned to look out the window, and was greeted by what must have been hundreds of leaves, as well as a bright and cheery sun high in the sky.
"Hey! What's going on up there?" came an unfamiliar voice from below. It appeared the building had at least two stories.
Instinct told Gilgamesh that any voices he did not recognize must be either enemies or neutral parties. Deciding to be better safe than sorry, he reached for his side to grab a weapon; if his soon-to-be opponent was neutral, he could try to explain everything later, maybe. Of course, it was only when he reached to his side that he came to a startling, distressing conclusion: all of his weapons were gone.
Of course, he thought angrily. He had dropped them all in order to pick up that useless weapon from the treasure chest. Excalipoor, he decided to forever call it, due to its worthless, subpar nature.
While hand-to-hand combat was not entirely difficult for him, Gilgamesh preferred using some sort of medium to control his blows. And though magic was also technically viable, he had no clue whether or not his spells would affect the approaching beast.
Due to the first option being unavailable – Gilgamesh made a mental note to pick up some form of weaponry as soon as he was able to –, he decided to follow his next best option: run. However, the realization immediately hit him that there was no path for him to escape on. One available route, a staircase, was likely being taken up by whatever creature was working its way towards him. The only other route, the window, appeared too far up from the ground and could potentially cause great injury.
Temporarily forgetting that he had literally just jumped what must have been ten feet into the air, Gilgamesh fled under the bed in an attempt at stealth. He managed to get halfway under it before his large, muscular body caused him to be unable to fit all the way under. It was only when he tried to get out from the bed that he came to what must have been his fiftieth startling realization that day: he was stuck. Completely.
After flailing around beneath the monstrous piece of furniture, Gilgamesh heard the footsteps come to a stop behind him. "Oh, for Pete's sake…!" the voice said. "How do you get yourself stuck like…? Ugh, never mind…"
Again, Gilgamesh was forced to bite back a scathing, brilliant, and completely earth-shattering line that would likely have left the poor creature stuttering for days as she – he surmised from the voice – recovered. Instead, he merely let out a muffled growl.
"Oh, right," said the voice. "I… uh… I guess I'll have to pull you out of there, won't I…?"
Gilgamesh felt a strange pressure on his back as slid, unceremoniously and rather painfully, from underneath the accursed sleeping device. "Gwah!" he gasped as he was dragged along the ground, feeling at least one splinter enter his bare chest.
As soon as he was free to stand, Gilgamesh did so, and turned toward his mysterious captor. Said captor happened to be less than half his size, and appeared to be a unicorn, not unlike those from his own world, but with large wings on her back. In fact, they actually looked rather cumbersome. Her lavender coat and the strange mark on her flank certainly stuck out quite a bit.
The unicorn looked him over and grimaced. "I’m glad you’re finally awake," she said, "You’ve been out for awhile, but… You wouldn’t mind me asking a question, would you?" Without waiting for a response, she continued, "So… what are you, exactly?"
Gilgamesh took a second to mentally process that fact that a horse was speaking his language. Not to mention that it seemed quite fluid, at that! Certainly, monsters had spoken before, but nothing so feral or wild as an equine. It felt almost surreal.
But he could not let her see his fear. Beasts could smell fear – they reveled in it. And the beast before him seemed quite hungry, based on the way her giant, giant eyes looked straight into his own. He needed to avoid showing any signs of worry or nervousness, or she would be upon him in an instant.
All he needed to do was answer her question.
Gilgamesh's eyes lit up as he stood tall and placed his eight arms on his waist. "Thank you for asking, my dear lavender equine!" he declared loudly, making his voice sound even more heroic and powerful than it usually was. "I am Gilgamesh, the manliest of swordsmen, and the swordliest of mansmen!"
The equine simply stared at him for a good ten or fifteen seconds, likely entranced by his sheer amazingness. "Riiiiiiight," she said at last, her voice deadpan from shock. "So, uh… I'm Twilight Sparkle."
Twilight Sparkle? What was that, a brand of shampoo?
No matter how tempted he was, Gilgamesh hid the urge to proclaim this to the unicorn before him – nothing made a beast angrier than petty remarks. "Excellent moniker, my friendly equine with a protrusion of the scalp and feathered wings!" he announced, grinning, before a thought struck him. "Wait, hold on a second –" the sudden change in tone seemed to catch his captor off guard "– where is this?"
The last thing he remembered was Exdeath banishing him to rift between dimensions, but could that mean that this harmless-looking creature – albeit one that could very well be quite vicious – was actually some sort of… demon of the rift?
Twilight continued to look over him, still in shock over his raw and unfiltered power. "This is Ponyville."
"No, no! More general than that!"
"Equestria?"
"More! Is there a giant, nightmarish castle anywhere around here? Or a giant bridge, mayhaps?"
Twilight simply stared at him. "Um… no, I don't think so."
"Is this a dangerous and terrifying rift between dimensions that creatures can be banished into by a monstrous king who once happened to be a tree?"
"Wh… Huh?" Twilight continued to stare at him as if he was the crazy one, rather than the lavender equine with random tattoos on her body and eyes the size of dinner plates.
Gilgamesh nodded, looking past her and towards the staircase behind her. It was the perfect chance to escape. "Well, in that case, I'd best get to know this land that shall now hold me as its captive! Farewell, Moisturizer, and my thanks for giving me this assistance!"
He immediately bolted down the stairs, dodging a low-hanging ceiling that foolishly threatened his life, and bounded out through the front door, leaving a confused and surprised Twilight Sparkle behind him gaping as Gilgamesh rushed through the area.
"Wh… what just happened?"
Gilgamesh heroically walked across the path, smirking to himself as the various equines stared upwards at his sheer awesomeness. Unlike Twilight Sparkle, or whatever she had called herself, these beasts seemed far less aggressive.
Although he did not have a sword or his trademark naginata, Gilgamesh could still likely best any creature that dared to face him in battle with the use of his magic and unarmed combat. Of course, again, neither was ideal, but he could do it if he absolutely had to.
One of the creatures even pulled two smaller ones – its children, he surmised – away from the road, and told them that they would be safe and that everything would be okay. Ha, of course everything would be okay if Gilgamesh was there!
The hero of legend, clad in the all-powerful Genji armor, save for his chest-plate, continued to step across the path and through more confused and frightened looking equines, some of which had horns, others with wings, and some with neither. Even though he had no idea where he was going, Gilgamesh had no doubt in randomly walking around and talking to the locals would get him where he was going. It worked for Bartz, at least.
However, as he stepped across the path, Gilgamesh was suddenly struck by a bullet to his unprotected chest, and felt himself being flung back as some sort of rainbow laser blasted into him.
"Gak!" he managed to once again gasp as he fell back to the ground.
"O-oh, sorry about that!" a voice called out to him. They had better be sorry, given that they were dealing with the mighty Gilgamesh!
He worked his way to his feet, and stared at his attacker. It was a blue equine with the most unnatural hair color – or mane-color, perhaps? – that he had ever seen in his life. And that was saying a lot, given that he had dealt with Faris and Lenna, whose hair was blue and pink respectively, so often.
Of course, neither of them had rainbow hair. That was just ridiculous.
It took him several seconds of recovering from the pain to realize that the equine was flying. "Sorry about that," it said again, its voice decidedly feminine. "I guess I was going a bit too fast to see you there…" She extended a hoof. "I'm Rainbow Dash, the fastest flier in all of Equestria! Who're you…" She blinked, as though she were actually seeing him for the first time. "Or, uh… what are you?"
Gilgamesh glared at her, attempting not to point out the ridiculousness of her name. "You do not know me?" he asked, somewhat offended at his new rival's lack of knowledge of who he was. "I… am… Gilgamesh, the legendary, powerful, and legendarily powerful swordsman who shall pound you into oblivion for daring to run into me and causing me no small amount of pain!" He gestured to the bruise on his chest, a massive thing that likely measured around two inches in diameter.
As he had suspected, the beasts were out to attack him. First the unicorn, now a pegasus. And at the speed this “Rainbow Dash” had been going, she would undoubtedly be difficult to hit in a straight-up fight. He needed a reliable weapon, and fast.
He leaned in close to the tiny yet deadly creature. If she were so willing to fight him, he would be glad to retaliate. "From this day forth, you and I are enemies, and I shall do everything in my power to best your every move and make you feel sad about yourself and your stupid hair color for this transgression!" Yes, she was nowhere near as powerful as Bartz, or… well, or anyone else he’d fought, but it was the principle of the thing that mattered.
"Wait, what?" asked the pony whose mane likely took forever to dye – unless it was natural, in which case Gilgamesh wondered how it worked, and how such pigmentation even logically made sense. "I mean, uh… sure, I'll compete with you, I guess, but isn't that a bit much for me accidentally running into you o–?"
"No arguing! Gilgamesh awaaaaay!" He proceeded to bravely run from the tiny pegasus, racing down the street at such a rate that he kicked up dust.
Rainbow Dash blinked and rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. "Huh, what's that guy's problem?"
Continuing on his all-important journey to learn the layout of this mysterious land, Gilgamesh stepped down the street, nursing his recent war wound by holding his hand to it. His eyes were trained solely on the path before him, looking about with eagle eyes for any signs of any creature that dared to attack him again. Even he, in his infinite power, wisdom, and courage, had to guard himself. This land was clearly hostile.
As if to further drive the point home, Gilgamesh continued to step forward and accidentally ran into a six-foot-tall stack of walking books. He fell back, crashing into the ground and holding his hand to his dazed head.
“Aw, darn it! I can’t believe I dropped this stuff…” said an unseen creature, but Gilgamesh surmised that it was definitely some sort of hostile, violent beast like the others.
Instead, what he saw was a small, light-blue unicorn. What really struck Gilgamesh as odd about her – again, based on the voice – was that her mane was almost the same color as her coat, but only very slightly darker. In fact, the only things about her that wasn’t blue were her greenish-yellow eyes. But besides those, she wasn’t especially noteworthy. Even her ridiculous mane color looked normal at that point.
“Sheesh! And after I wanted to keep all those things organized, too…” She rolled her eyes, and looked over at Gilgamesh. “O-oh, uh… heh, heh… Sorry ‘bout that. Guess I didn’t see you behind those books, huh?”
Gilgamesh stood up tall. “No, you most certainly did not!” Was this world just actively out to hurt him? It certainly felt that way.
The unicorn blinked, and looked closer at him. “Wait a sec… Hey, what’s your name?”
“Why, I am glad that you have asked me that most desirable question! For, you see, I am the grand, immense, powerful–”
“Yeah, yeah. Sure.” She rolled her eyes. “Just your name, guy.”
He scowled. “Gilgamesh.”
“Gilgamesh, huh?” The unicorn placed a hoof on her chin as if in thought, before she placed it back on the path. “Well, uh… y-yeah. I really need to work on walkin’ with these things. I swear, I just keep on running into everything… Sorry ‘bout that. Again.” She started to pick up the books with magic, and smirked over at him. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around, then. So, uh… g’bye!” She suddenly sprinted off into the distance, and Gilgamesh could only watch as she ran off.
He stared for a few seconds, and turned to continue on his journey. What was with these creatures and just randomly attacking him? Oh, well. He would never learn more about that universe and its bloodthirsty denizens if he did not walk about and greet them for himself.
Even if that required him to visit every single shop, market, and building that stuck out to him, he would learn this place inside and out.
Gilgamesh continued his heroic parade throughout the land known as Ponyville, watching as the ponies stepped aside in respect for his presence, and nodding to them as they did so. At least these creatures understood the powerhouse who stepped among them with a serene grace that most of them likely lacked. But why did they stare at him so oddly? Did they truly fear him so?
Before he was able to go off on a tangent, a nearby store caught his eye; it appeared to be a bakery, based on its odd shape. Gilgamesh suddenly noticed just how hungry he was, likely due to the strange pegasus's attack on him and that unicorn tripping him, or perhaps because of Exdeath banishing him to this strange dimension.
Gilgamesh shuddered at the memory, of the void slowly devouring him, watching those before him cover their eyes in fear of what was to happen to him, and of passing out in the depths of darkness…
"Um, sir, can I help you with anything?"
Gilgamesh blinked, and realized that he had subconsciously stepped into the strange store, and was simply standing in the entrance and staring off into space. The orange-coated stallion manning – horsing? No, that was stupid – the register was staring at him quite oddly, as though Gilgamesh had spontaneously grown a second head.
"O-oh, of course," he said, walking forward towards the counter, and looked over the options. All of them were sugary sweets, none looking as though they held any actual nutritional benefit.
Gilgamesh grimaced. While he liked to treat himself from time to time, the fact that there was nothing that would sufficiently fill his stomach disheartened him slightly. Not to mention the sheer lack of luck on his part, finding a place that only sold sugar-based products when he was so hungry. Perhaps his fortune had been affected, as well.
Not to mention that everything looked pink. Everything. He could practically feel his manliness and power being sapped away every second he stood in that store.
However, that cupcake did look somewhat appetizing…
"I will take one of those, if you please," he said to the stallion behind the counter, gesturing to the small, sugary treat. Although nothing of note truly stood out to him very much about the stallion, Gilgamesh did have to acknowledge that he was able to look him in the eyes without needing to tilt his head upward very far.
The equine nodded. "Alright, then…" he said, writing Gilgamesh's order down on a small pad of paper by using his mouth to hold the pencil.
The cashier turned around and handed – hoofed, perhaps? No, that sounded even more idiotic – the note to one of the creatures behind him: a pink creature with yet another unnatural mane color. Although, at the very least, Gilgamesh could acknowledge the fact that it wasn't as ridiculous as the rainbow-maned creature from earlier. Besides, the fact that it was the same color as Lenna’s made it far more believable to him. Had it not been for the way it was combed, being extremely large and, for lack of a better word, poofy, he would not have been bothered by it at all.
While she said nothing at first, the mare's eyes seemed to burn into Gilgamesh's as she turned away and stalked off with the note clenched in her teeth.
"So," the cashier said, pulling him away from the sight, "are you from around here? I can't say I've seen a creature like you before." He didn't even seem remotely fazed by the pure power that Gilgamesh seemed to exude as he stood tall, four of his eight hands on his hips and the other four arms raised up to the sky.
"No," Gilgamesh responded. "I only just arrived here today, as far as I know."
"Huh. Alright, here's your order." The cashier spontaneously pulled a bag out of thin air. "That'll be eight bits."
Gilgamesh blinked. "Bits? Er…" He reached into the pocket of his armored leggings – for the first time thanking that odd design choice – and pulled out a small pouch. He proceeded to take eight pieces of gil from it, laying them on the counter. "Um… will this cover it?"
The cashier looked over the golden coins, obviously confused. "Hm… I've never seen this form of currency before," he admitted. "Are these solid gold?” When Gilgamesh nodded, the cashier continued, “Bet I could sell them for quite a bit… Alright, I'll take 'em." He picked up the eight coins with his hoof, a maneuver that Gilgamesh questioned the possibility of, and handed him the bag with the cupcake in it. "Have a nice day!"
Gilgamesh simply nodded to the cashier and turned to leave, only to see that same pink equine standing in front of him. She was positioned on a table, staring into his eyes with ones that looked as if they were about to pop out of their sockets.
The mare stared him over for a short time, saying absolutely nothing. "So," she finally said, her voice slow and deliberate, "do you have any plans to stay here?"
The question was so innocent, yet held a strange and horrific undertone that even the almighty and handsome Gilgamesh could hardly keep from finding nerve-wracking. However, he simply puffed out his chest and stared down at her with the same wide-eyed look. "Mayhaps," he proclaimed heroically, causing everypony in the bakery to stare at him in awe. "However, I do not… currently… have any… plans…?" The way she continued to stare at him unnerved him to no end, and caused him to bitterly curse at her in his mind for being one of the first creatures to ever do so. "Um… yes?"
The creature instantly stood up straight, a large grin covering her face. "Oh, cool!" she said, and held out a hoof. "Hi! What's your name?"
He paused for an instant, looking her over cautiously. "Gilgamesh…?" he managed to utter with immense braveness.
"Ooh, Gilgamesh!" she squealed, placing her hooves on her face. "That's such a cool name! And so fun to say, too!" Before he could say anything, the equine jumped off the table and began to poke at his body, looking him over. “Wow, and I really like that armor-y look you’ve got going for yourself, too! Makes you look like some kinda warrior or something!”
She suddenly stopped and giggled, jumping back onto the table in front of the more-than-somewhat-unnerved warrior. "Hi! My name’s Pinkie Pie! Nice to meetcha, Gilgamesh!” She leaned back, giving him some breathing room. “Well, since you’re staying, I guess I’ll have to throw you a party!”
“You, er… you don’t have to…”
“Ha!” Pinkie laughed. “Of course I do, silly! I throw a welcoming party for everypony who moves in here! I mean, what’s not to like? It’ll have cake, and balloons, and streamers, and it’ll all be really, really, really, really super-terrific-awesomely-spectacularifically–”
"Pinkie!" the cashier shouted, his voice somewhat muffled from where he had slammed his head into the register. "Please just… go back inside… I think you're scaring the customers…"
She stared at him for several seconds, giving the equine by the register the same wide-eyed look she had just given Gilgamesh, before she broke out into a wide grin. "Okie-dokie-lokie, Mr. Cake!" she declared, before literally bouncing back into the place behind the door.
Gilgamesh had no reaction that could be claimed, other than to simply step outside the building quietly, bitterly consumed by his new lust for vengeance toward the pegasus, the unicorn, and the hyperactive creature who he had just met.
Clearly, this new world was a dangerous, dangerous place.
After a careful and scientific test, Gilgamesh confirmed that the cupcake was, in fact, delicious. The texture was perfect, the flavor, divine. It was absolutely befitting a warrior such as he.
However, it did absolutely nothing to alleviate his stomach, nor his sudden worry that the pink equine with the giant eyes would attack him in the midst of his slumber. And without weapons of any kind, defense against her would constitute missiles, exploding, or some other extremely circumstantial magical ability.
None of those options seemed particularly appealing. Mostly due to his poor aim. He would have to aim from point blank in order to even come close to hitting his target.
As such, Gilgamesh decided that the best course of action would be to gain any form of weaponry that he could find as soon as feasibly possible, preferably within several hours. Or minutes. Hopefully seconds.
His eyes instantly set upon the nearest store, which seemed to be one that sold clothing. While he doubted that the building would sell weaponry – it likely only sold armor, which he would have absolutely no use for given his current equipment – it was still his best option overall. After all, he saw no other stores that had the symbol of a sword on them, the common staple of a blacksmith's shop.
Then again, he saw none that had signs for magic, items, or "INN" written in giant letters, but the strange clothing area was still probably his best option. Perhaps it was some strange kind of department that sold everything.
The warrior stepped forward, some of his hands placed upon his hips, and opened the door with all of the force he could muster. Gilgamesh looked about the so-called "Carousel Boutique," and over the various mannequins that were placed throughout the area, all of which were clad in gaudy outfits that appeared only to have the capacity to fit equines.
The entire building was designed in various shades of blue, covering the floors, walls, and even the ceiling. Even some of the furniture was blue, with the only differentiation being in a few yellows and greens, as well as in said gaudy clothing.
He scoffed. Disregarding the rainbow-maned pegasus, the book-obsessed unicorn, and the pink creature who had no idea what personal space was, Gilgamesh highly doubted that anything that lived in "Ponyville" could fight, especially while wearing such frilly clothing as the ones on display. It seemed more of a hindrance than anything, really. In fact, he had been wholly convinced that the equines were mostly benign.
Gilgamesh rolled his eyes at the depressing display, using his keen intellect to glean the fact that there were no weapons to be found in such a sad place as the clothing store, and turned to leave.
"My apologies," said a voice. "I truly do not mean to be so late, but I – Oh! Um…"
He turned back toward the voice, and saw yet another unicorn, this time with a white coat. Unlike the two before, however, her mane was extremely curled, looked as if it had been brushed several hundred times in the last hour alone, and its color was… blue.
Of course it was.
The two simply stared at each other for several seconds awkwardly, before Gilgamesh spoke. "Oh, never mind me," he said, attempting to be as polite as he could physically muster. "I was only just leaving; nothing in here appears to intrigue my taste."
The equine coughed, and glanced away before muttering something under her breath. "Oh, well, I will admit that we don't carry anything in your… um… size. However, I can probably find you something more flattering than…" Although she did not finish the statement, the unicorn gestured to Gilgamesh's entire body.
"Hey, I… This is completely flattering!" Gilgamesh protested, standing tall and showing off his almost-completely-armored form. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to get my hands on this?"
The unicorn smiled politely. "I am not saying that it wasn't. But… I simply don't believe that it shows off your… poise enough." She then added in a quieter tone, "Not to mention just how garish that color is…"
Gilgamesh grimaced. "I assure you that this is the most beautiful and fantastic armor available to me. Too bad the chest plate doesn't fit like this, though. I could always just go back to using two arms, but…" He shook his head, finding himself being thrown off track. "Anyway, I will not need your gaudy clothing in order to make myself appear powerful!"
Her jaw dropped in surprise. "Wh… Gaudy?! And who are you to be making such a claim?!"
The warrior stood up tall, his back straight and his hands on his hips once more, showing off the mighty war-wound from earlier. "I… am the mighty, powerful, and legendary swordsman –" he paused for dramatic effect "– Gilgamesh! I have been thrown across dimensions, fought and communed with heroes of old, and have wielded the legendary blade Excalibur into battle against my greatest foe!" Or, at the very least, a poor representation of it. "And who, pray tell, are you, tiny equine?"
The equine blinked, the gears appearing to spin in her head. "Ah, so you're the one Twilight felt the need to warn me about…" She grimaced. "And with good reason, it appears. I am Rarity," she added as an afterthought.
"Moisturizer told you of me?" Gilgamesh cocked an eyebrow. "Already, it appears that this dimension is learning of the legendary heroics that my blade holds!"
"Um… You don't appear to have any blades…"
"Yet! And soon, I shall find a weapon worthy of me, and I shall use its might to return to my home!" Gilgamesh turned to the door once more, and began to step out, heroically declaring, "Fare you well, polite equine, and may we meet again!"
Rarity stared at the door he had exited through with an expression that seemed a mixture of confusion and shock. After a time, she turned away from the door, and began to mumble to herself. "'Gaudy,' he says. Hmph, says the… the… creature wearing full armor…"
Gilgamesh continued his walk through the town, his stomach still grumbling and his lack of weaponry still tugging at the back of his mind. The polite equine – who, he had to admit, had the most realistic hair out of any of the four he had greeted so far – and her insults of his heroic garb continued to sting, as well. The creatures of the town, he concluded, were rather cruel when it came down to it, especially that dangerous pink mare. Even if they seemed mostly calm, he would be smartest to watch out in case they turned on him.
Gilgamesh shuddered involuntarily; he likely was not going to sleep very well that night.
After much walking down the road, the warrior found that the street had given way from stone to dirt, and a large, red barn had overtaken his field of vision. A farm, likely, and he was looking forward to the prospect of having food in his stomach. A great warrior such as him could not fight as well when starving, after all, as Gilgamesh knew from years of experience.
He stepped down the path, and into the area in front of the barn. He stared at it carefully, before he turned and saw something that made him jump.
Not very high, of course, but still.
Several hundred trees appeared to dot the landscape, all of them covered in an odd, red type of fruit. Suddenly, a wicked thought occurred to him: there were so many trees, so the landowners likely wouldn't miss a few of the fruits if they were to go missing.
Gilgamesh cackled with an absolutely-not-villainous glee, then stepped over to the nearest tree and preparing to shake the fruits loose. Immediately, however, he realized how easy it would be for him to be noticed so close to the barn. Perhaps if he went out a bit further, the creatures that owned the farm would not notice him.
While he had no doubt that he could best them in combat, regardless of whether or not he used a weapon, Gilgamesh did not wish for the entire town to declare him a thief, or to potentially be imprisoned. Again, he shuddered involuntarily, memories of the prison of Exdeath's castle returning to him. How many creatures had been thrown into it? How many had suffered for minor infractions? Dozens, perhaps. Maybe even hundreds, but he was not going to guess so high a number. Perhaps he was luckier than he'd initially thought.
The swordsman shook his head in an effort to rid himself of those memories, and slowly stepped around the barn. He looked around until he found an area where none of the equines would find him as he pilfered – or, rather, permanently borrowed – the mysterious red fruits that hung from the trees.
He slowly tiptoed over to the nearest tree, reaching his uppermost hand's fingers up toward one of the foodstuffs with careful determination. While he could have used blue magic in order to bring down the fruit, Gilgamesh worried over the affect it would have on the tree as a whole; obviously, shooting it with missiles would not go unnoticed.
The fruit came loose from its perch, slipping from the tree's branch and into his fingers. With a grin, Gilgamesh held it as if it were some prized jewel, and slowly bit into its red exterior.
He was never one for fruits of any kind – Gilgamesh's diet primarily consisted of meat, fish, and some vegetables for nutrition and variety – but even he had to admit that the flavor was excellent. Perhaps it was merely because he hadn't eaten anything all day save a cupcake, or perhaps it was the victory of defeating the system, but Gilgamesh did not care; for the first time in what felt like ages, his ravenous stomach felt somewhat satisfied, if only temporarily, and he reached for another, and another, and another.
By the time he was done, he had completely stripped the tree bare of everything, including the leaves. Not that he had any intention of eating those, of course.
"Hey! What's goin' on back there?!" called out a voice, causing Gilgamesh to nearly choke on one of the fruits.
With the speed and grace of a dancer, he turned and began to sprint in an effort to escape being caught with his arms full of the foodstuffs. He needed somewhere to hide. Somewhere that the pursuer would not be able to locate him.
A new building came into his peripheral vision. The building was tall and red like the barn, with a domed roof and a large, open entryway. Naturally, Gilgamesh sprinted straight into the area, ducking his head in order to avoid the low ceiling.
Once inside, he breathed a sigh of relief, holding the three remaining fruits close to his chest in an effort to keep them concealed, when he noticed what appeared to be a spear sticking out of a barrel of hay. Gilgamesh reached over and pulled it free of its binds, looking over the newfound weapon with immense interest. It looked to be some sort of trident, with the blades curved rather than angled. While Gilgamesh was interested in the weapon and its appearance, the sheer convenience of finding it when he needed it most was what intrigued his brilliant mind immensely.
"Hey, is there somepony in there?!" demanded the voice. An equine's shadow appeared in the strange tall building, leaving Gilgamesh with a pit in his stomach. "If ya stole them apples from that tree, y'all'd better c'mon out!"
The swordsman looked to the entrance, to the trident, and to the entrance once more. He quickly stuffed the three remaining fruits into his mouth, and pressed his back to the wall in an effort to avoid being seen.
"Alright, then!" the voice shouted angrily. "Ah'm gonna count ta three, and if you don't come outta there afore that, Ah'm gonna take you out myself! One… two…"
Gilgamesh exploded through the entryway of the building, rushing past the equine so quickly that he did not even get a decent look at it, instead running with immense grace and balance as he attempted to escape the angry creature that no doubt would monstrously rip him to shreds.
Applejack blinked, watching as the strange creature awkwardly flailed by as it ran passed her. "Wh-what in tarnation…?" she gasped, unable to move out of sheer surprise. She narrowed her eyes as it vanished over the horizon. "Hold on a sec'… did that thing just take our pitchfork?"
Gilgamesh panted, leaning against a nearby building with his newfound weapon strapped to his side. It had been a narrow escape on his part, but he had somehow managed to evade the creature threatening his life. He chastised his arrogance regarding the situation, knowing that even he – the magnificent, great, and humble creature he was – had not been stealthy enough in his pilfering, and news of his thievery would likely spread before too long.
However, he could at least take solace in the fact that his selfish stomach now was completely filled with the delicious red foodstuffs, although Gilgamesh made a mental note to avoid that farm until he was certain the situation had cooled down.
He let out a deep sigh, glancing over the area in which he now stood, leaning back in an effort to regain his breath: it was a small cottage, the area a tall hill on which it sat, and far enough away from the farm that he felt safe, at least for a time.
A quiet shout from inside completely shattered any theory of safety: "N-no! Stop…"
Although the voice was small, it carried a mixture of sternness and fear, and sounded distinctly feminine, just like literally every other creature he had met that day.
Seriously, what was the gender ratio of this universe? And why had he met so few creatures of note?
But such questions were quickly forgotten. Gilgamesh puffed out his chest, gripping the trident in two of the arms on his left hand, before he leapt gracefully through an open window. The swordsman let out a muffled gasp as his body crashed into the low wooden floor.
"Hm? Say, who have we here?" asked a somewhat condescending voice, as a shadow leaned over Gilgamesh's form. "A trespasser, maybe? Do you know what happens to trespassers around this area, you… Wait a second, what is this thing?"
Gilgamesh felt himself being pulled up so that he was standing upright, his head coming dangerously close to the ceiling. He found himself face-to-face with an odd creature; it was some sort of chimera, its body composed of various parts of different creatures, yet it looked somewhat dragon-like. The thing's eyes met his own and it laughed. "Hah! Hey, Fluttershy, you need to see this thing's face! Actually –" it paused, placing a claw on its chin "– huh, you look like one of her animals… or maybe just a stray?"
Out of the corner of his eye, Gilgamesh saw a yellow equine with a pink mane rush into the room. A pair of wings sprouted from her back. "Ah, Discord…" she said weakly, not yet looking at him, "I… I think you shouldn't…" Her eyes met Gilgamesh's, and a large smile crossed her face. "Oh! You're that creature that Twilight was telling me about!"
The swordsman grimaced, pulling himself from the dragon-beast's grip with no difficulty. He instantly stuck yet another heroic pose – although he ensured that this time, he spun the trident for good measure – and set his eyes on the monstrosity. "Indeed, I am he who has been summoned to this world!" he declared, narrowing his vision at the thing that had undoubtedly been assaulting the poor, meek equine. "And I, too, have come to this place to best the beast and rescue you from his wretched claws!"
The chimera let out a gasp. "Wretched?!" he exclaimed indignantly. "I will have you know that I file these daily!" As if on cue, a large fish appeared from nowhere, and the chimera proceeded to rub it back-and-forth on the claws of his manticore-esque paw. "I mean, that's just rude!"
"You do not terrify me, foul beast from the rift!" declared Gilgamesh, arching the trident so that its blade pointed at the thing's chest. "I am Gilgamesh, legendary warrior, and I shall send you to your knees!"
There was a pause, before the chimera turned toward the yellow equine. "I hope you don't mind, Fluttershy, but I feel the need to turn this little toad into a… well, a toad!" Smoke appeared and covered the chimera's body, concealing it completely. When it reappeared, the creature was clothed in a pointed hat and robe – reminiscent of black mages, Gilgamesh thought, although the hat was purple, rather than the usual yellow or orange – and holding a broomstick.
The chimera cackled, and held out a strange, almost-birdlike arm before he began to chant: "Now that I'm in my witching mode, let's see you as a little toad!"
Smoke poured from his fingers, shooting toward Gilgamesh with an almost-terrifying speed. The substance completely coated the warrior's body, making him unable to see beyond the curtain of darkness. He did not move, however, still standing in the same, steady position until the smoke vanished completely, leaving him entirely unharmed.
The strangely-black-mage-like chimera stared, mouth agape, at Gilgamesh. "Oh, come on!" he shouted angrily, and snapped his fingers. Sparks flew from them, and toward Gilgamesh much like the smoke, but they, too, did nothing. "Ugh, don't tell me that I need recharge my toading batteries! I swear, those things get no time before they just run out of juice, and that's no fun at all…"
Gilgamesh threw back his head and let out a mighty laugh, ignoring the foolish creature's statement about juice. "Ha! The might of evil is no match for the armor upon my breast!" he proclaimed, ignoring the obvious contradiction. "Your status ailments shall harm me not, just as they refused to back where I was born and raised! And now, evil-doer, prepare to face the might of Gilgamesh!"
The swordsman prepared to lunge at the chimera, who was still sputtering and snapping its fingers to no avail, before the small equine jumped in between the two. "W-wait!" she cried, the weakness having left her voice, and she blushed. "U-um… that is, if you don't mind…"
"State your case, small equine," responded Gilgamesh, and he set his eyes on the chimera behind her. "But know that this most wretched of creatures, with its hideous, distorted face, disgusting features, and horrible, horrifying body–"
"H-he's my friend…" the equine said.
Gilgamesh blinked, staring over at the monstrosity. "Wh… what… What is…?"
The chimera stared at him with eyes like ice, and suddenly stood as it had prior to wearing that outfit. "My hideous, disgusting, distorted form," he responded, "happens to be close friends with this creature here. Now, I'm normally a pretty amiable guy." A pair of black glasses magically appeared on his face. "I like long walks on the beach, strolling through parks, and try to keep my world-destroying magic from, well, destroying the world –" he lowered the glasses "– but even I draw the line at some areas, and one of those happens to be acting like a complete jerk to one of my friends. Now, let's go over what you've done, shall we?"
A list appeared next to him, and he pulled a pencil out of thin air. "Well, first, you broke into her house." He checked something off the list. "Second, you threatened me with a stolen pitchfork." The chimera proceeded to check something else off of the list, just below the first object. "And third, you called me ugly. Several times. That was just unnecessary." The list promptly lit on fire, and vanished into the air around it. "Now, what do you have to say for yourself?"
Gilgamesh simply stared over the two. He looked to the equine, to the chimera, to the equine, and to the chimera again. "I… um…" He blinked once, a brilliant plan forming in his mind. "Look, it's a…!" Unable to come up with anything witty to say, Gilgamesh simply turned around and leapt out the open window, landing with an audible crash on the grass outside.
Fluttershy and Discord exchanged a look, the former coughing. "Um… shouldn't we help him…?"
Gilgamesh groaned from the other side of the window.
"Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine," Discord responded glibly. "After all, such a great swordsman's ought to have some means of preservation!"
Gilgamesh stumbled over the road, clutching at his chest. So far that day, he had suffered various wounds, and all of them caused him no small amount of pain. That befouled monstrosity, the horrifying pink mare, the beast from the farm, the rude-yet-polite shopkeeper, the unicorn with all the books, and the missile-like pegasus had not helped matters in the slightest.
Gilgamesh stepped passed the entrance of the town, his feet kicking up dust behind him, while the trident lay at his side – his only defense against the beasts of the wild. His feet moved him forward still, through the road as the sun began to set, and up a hill where a single tree lay, rooted to the ground.
His back crashed into it and he sat upon the dirt around its base, coughing as he did so, and folding his arms around his chest. Already, even as the sun had barely begun to cross the horizon, the chill of the night started to seep into his bones. Gilgamesh shuddered, and pushed himself back further until his head rested against the cool bark.
He did not care for the splinters that bit into his back, the mosquitos that ate away at his chest, or even the frigid night air that swept over the land. No, he had slept in far worse conditions, and they had only hardened him to the experiences of life. Compared to the nights he’d slept in swamps, mountains, or deserts, this was a metaphorical breeze.
As such, despite the nagging feeling in the back of his head that the psychotic pink mare would murder him in his sleep, or that the dragon-like beast would try to get revenge for his mockery, Gilgamesh's eyelids slowly drooped over his tired face, and consciousness soon vanished completely.
All that remained propped up against the tree was the snoring figure of a warrior, his prized new weapon at his side, his stomach full, and a day of hard work behind him. And, upon his face, there lay a strangely peaceful look, the memories of his banishment, of Galuf, Faris, Lenna, Krile, and even Bartz and Exdeath lost into the void of a long and dreamless slumber.
Two small eyes watched the town from the distance. Six long, spidery legs stepped across the plain as the figure moved toward the peaceful place, cloaked by the night shadows, and dark even in the moonlight. Its pincers clacked together and its eyes narrowed as it set its gaze upon the town.
The beast began to move towards it with frightening speed for a thing so large, its pincers clacking even faster as it did so. The green aura around its body shimmered dully in the darkness, yet did not appear to slow the creature down in the slightest as it moved across the plain.
And none of the few creatures that walked about the area – their eyes half-closed from tiredness – noticed the hungry thing that now rushed towards the town, its intentions all too clear.