//------------------------------//
// A New Show: Episode Three 
// Story: A New Home III: The Quest for the Lost Locket 
// by APoeticHeart 
//------------------------------//

DISCLAIMER: This story was written without any input from GeodesicDragon


The building in which A New Show airs is bigger than people think.

There is an endless supply of locker rooms, which are used to accommodate hundreds of the Equestrian civilization; from dragons to changelings, and humans from Equestria's counterpart word.

There's a giant parking lot out the back, which needs proper authorization to enter, and where the humans can park their cars, or royalty can park their horse-drawn carriages. There is also a separate parking lot for the audience.

There's multiple restrooms, random broom closets, and corridors where anybody could get lost in.

It seems like there is a different area of the building added with each episode. Like it never stops expanding. 

No map would be able to help navigate a lone traveler through this air conditioned jungle. 

The only way to know your way around the ways of this way-filled way-point....is to explore.

One such pony, one that has nothing better to do, has quickly learned her way around the Church of Characters.

She lurks the halls, she monitors the rafters up above. This was her playground, and nobody, or noPONY knew it.

Now, she sits in the dead audience, her back bent, slouched over, eyes closed.

She still has full control of her senses, though, as it's almost like she can hear the viewers sneaking up on her. Her brilliant gamboge eyes snap open, and that's all we can see in the momentarily dimmed.

"You found your way down here too, huh?" The mysterious femme chuckles. "It's so dark in here, though......which must make you wonder, how did I get down here, then? I'm used to the darkness. Where the light usually guides most, I am the nocturnal flame, that chars up the light into brim, crispy little ashes.....h-hey! Don't leave!" She wails, as her disturbed tone offsets the viewers.

"What? I scare you?" She seems to scoff. "Hey, I didn't ask for any company, YOU came to ME, and it's gonna be pretty hard for someone who isn't used to the pitch black aura of reality to even make their way out of here, so you're gonna listen to what I have to say.....

This is my favorite place in here, ya know? It's so quiet....so....so peaceful. I can sit here all week and just....just think...I used to wish, but wishes are like fishes: they die a month after you get 'em. Seems to be the story of my life.

That is, until, those doors behind us open, and simultaneously, the lights in here turn on. That's when I run.

Run to somewhere different. But when I get there, THOSE lights turn on. Sooner or later, everywhere I go, the lights just KEEP flickering ON, like they're trying to drown me.

I can't swim in floods, ya know.....

Then, the PEOPLE come.....that's when I go to my locker room, the only place where nobody but ME can turn the lights on. I'm not really a people person.....they're weird. With their hands, and...lack of fur. Whenever catering comes to see if I'd like some water, I lock my door. They've gotten the message by now....everyone has. I mean, it's nice of them and all, but I gave up being nice a while ago.....

I can DEFINITELY handle humans WAY more than ponies, though...." we notice her eyes have been rolled. "Those jerks are the reason I am the way I am nowadays....I used to be....SO POSITIVE, with dreams and aspirations! I had a reason to BE somepony! To be remembered for something EXTRAORDINARY! I had my peers, and I had some enemies, but I didn't let them bring me down, because I KNEW I was better than them....."

She looks straight at the viewers again. "You don't know what that's like....do you? Good, you're better off than me, that's for sure. Take my advice....screw dreams. Dreams will get you nowhere but in a darkened room, riding on the edge of near insanity, doubting yourself 24/7, wanting nothing but to shy away from the world around you, always wondering where your life went wrong.

Oh! That reminds me.....I almost forgot to ask myself.....where did my life do wrong? Huh? Oh, what a coincidence! You asked ME the SAME THING? Well, I don't have a watch on me. I lost that along with everything else I used to have, but I've memorized the schedule of this building off the top of my head....so...let's see....we have about 10 minutes until those damned lights come on again, and the air conditioning begins to cool my hot psyche....so, I guess I'll tell you, because WHO else am I gonna tell?

Two years ago, after months upon MONTHS of practice, I was locked and loaded on what was MY dream in life. My ONLY dream. To be a Wonderbolt, like nearly ALL pegasi wish to be.

One day, to my non-surprise, I got a letter, stating I had been accepted into the Wonderbolts Academy, where the next generation of Equestria's best fliers are pushed to the max, all for the purpose of continuing the Wonderbolts tradition of being the best aerodynamic team in all of Equestria.

And I was there, of course, like I knew I would be. I looked around my competition, and snickered to myself. I mean, they looked athletic ENOUGH, but not quite Wonderbolt material, if I must say....

And it showed.

All except ONE pony....

We hit it off pretty good, she seemed REALLY cool.

It soon turned out, SHE would be my competition. Friendly competition, of course. I'm not the type of pony would take somepony else out just to further myself. I’m not cruel, I’m just….cocky. Yeah, I’m not afraid to admit it.

Captain Spitfire paired me and Dash up, thankfully, and she made me the Lead Pony, and her, the Wing Pony, which isn’t bad at ALL, considering how great of a flyer she was. Spitfire just thought I was better. After all, I DID survive overdrive on the Dizzitron. Sure, Dash may have broken the record, but I pushed myself farther than her.

After a while, Dash started to….I don’t know, wimp out on me? Not saying she’s a wimp, but it seemed like that was the case.

Diving to get a flag, she sprained her wing, but, like a true Wonderbolt SHOULD, she got back up in the clouds, and we broke ANOTHER record. We were a well-oiled machine…nopony could stop us! We should’ve been Wonderbolts from the very BEGINNING.

THEN, the hot air balloon came…..

Apparently, they were Dash’s friends from Ponyville, coming to give her a care package. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not a psychic, so there was NO way I could have predicted this…..

We, being me AND Dash, started a tornado as a surprise tactic to win, which worked. But, Dash’s friends got caught in it, and nearly died because of it.

And GUESS who got blamed for THAT little incident….

ME. Of course, ME! Not only that, I got STRIPPED of my Lead Pony badge, and KICKED out of the Wonderbolts Academy!

Did I complain? Yes. Did I cry? Yes. Was it fair? Of course it was. I’ll admit my mistakes…..I was reckless. There, I said it. I almost killed FIVE innocent ponies. Yeah, that sucks, and I didn’t mean to do it. When you’re THIS close to accomplishing the biggest goal you’ve ever set for yourself in life, you do some crazy things. I screwed up, I know it.

But so did Rainbow Dash…..

She could’ve just walked away, and done things HERSELF. But she caved into peer pressure. Why? Because she wanted to be a Wonderbolt! SHE is just as responsible for the near death of her friends as I am!

She got off without so much as a slap on the hoof, though…..and me? I became the laughingstock of Cloudsdale…..turns out, I was the only pony in the last 70 YEARS to get KICKED out of the Academy. Some didn’t pass, and some quit, because they couldn’t handle it, but I got KICKED OUT.

Because of ONE mistake…..

If I could do it over again….would I? Of course I would. 

Everything went downhill for me after that. Nobody would hire “Loser Dust”….that’s what everypony called me.

And now, here I am…..lost in a pit of morbidity that I can’t drag myself out of.

Do I blame myself? Yup. 100 percent. Sure, Dash made that tornado WITH me, but, I basically forced her into it. Not really her fault, when you think about it.

But still…..she has friends. She’s the Element of Loyalty. SHE still gets to hold onto her life-long dream…..

I have nothing.

I WANT something.

I want EVERYTHING.

And I’m going to get it……

Just then, like she warned, the lights began to boom on. Section by section. First, the stage, then, the entrance, and finally…..the lights above the audience seats.

Lightning Dust slowly brings her once down head up, as her eyes open. She just stares at the viewers for a moment, and blinks. She then forms a sinister smirk on her face.

“Showtime…..”



Everything fades back, as we see the audience, which would be all the same yahoos from last week. Templar is eating a bagel with poppy seeds on it, while Ellington rereads the original A New Home, wondering why the third one sucks so much.

There seem to be many "WE WANT GEO" signs in the crowd, seven of which are being held in Squishy's tentacles. Geo would be proud of this, but he's too busy worrying if that family member of his that follows him on FimFiction has read his clopfics yet. 

Little does he know, but Jlargent, sitting right behind him, is also his brother, and is currently reading "Alifornication."

We pan to the stage, where we see Jason taking short, worried glances at fred every few moments.

Fred breaths heavy in his seat, an unremarkable scowl on his face.

"Welcome everybody....to A New Show," fred grumbles. 

"I'm APoeticHeart," Jason introduces hesitantly, seeing this could be a LOOONNGGG broadcast.

"And I'm seething with the frustration of 90,000 screaming ducks whom get their sacred bread taken away from them by the scheming, unrelenting geese...." fred gritted his teeth.

"Damn Canadians!" Nova Nexus hollered as he stood up. Squishy furrowed his eyebrows, squirting Nova with his ink, as he took offense, he being the Kraken responsible for giving Canada the prestige of having the Kraken with the "Longest Tentacles", as stated by Guinness.

"As you can tell, this is going to be a very.....different broadcast, folks," fred said. "I was M.I.A. last week, looking for the culprit behind the "Sugary Seize."....." fred took a deep breath, not wanting to let his anger get out of control. "Of course, you all know who it was-" fred was interrupted, as the crowd erupted into a chant of "TOBY! TOBY! TOBY!"

"Easy, fred," Jason soothed, still wearing his goggles, and now a cup for DOUBLE protection. He was DETERMINED not to get hurt this week. "Everyone, calm down, calm down. We have heard your cries, and we've felt your want. So, as promised, TONIGHT, our final guest, will be THE main character of A New Home...." Jason paused to build anticipation. "....Toby Mason....."

The roof on the building nearly shook, as all of the audience jumped out of their seats in ovulation, as Squishy squirted his ink on Cody's head in happiness. Cody groaned, as he began to sneak backstage to get himself cleaned up.

"TOBY! TOBY! TOBY! TOBY!" The crowd began to chant again, happy their obscene prayers were being answered.

Jason smiled, while fred rubbed at his temples.

"After that ovation, I'm sure he's a LOT less nervous," Jason said. "I can't wait to interview my very own character....." Jason mused, blowing his nose into a tissue. "I mean, how many people can say they get to talk to their own CREATION? It's mind-blowing....."

The crowd applauded, as a chant of "THANK YOU JASON!" began. Fred eased up a little, as he went over to pat Jason on the back.

"Let's not waste any time, then," fred said, sitting back down. "Let's bring out our first gu-" 

"HOLD IT!" A voice in the audience blared. Everyone turns to Geo, who is standing up with erect shoulders, and his eyes set on the stage. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, almost mapping out what he was about to do. He opens them, as he begins to walk slowly towards the finish line....or the stage yup same thing horrible analogy oh my-WALK GEO.

"Oh cripes...." fred moans, burying his face into his sectionals' cushions.

"I hear you talking about "giving the crowd what they want", gentlemen, and I speak for every reader of A New Home when I say that we appreciate that. But, if you were REALLY paying attention to your fans," Geo was now at the stairs leading up to the stage. He begins to walk up them. "You would look out into the crowd and SEE, what the fans of A New Home WANT," Geo now stands at the front of the stage. "Brothers.....sisters....LET YOUR VOICES BE HEARD......WHO DO YOU WANT?!"

"WE WANT GEO!" Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap goes the crowd. "WE WANT GEO!" Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap." Geo relishes in this, as he outstretches his arms like a messiah on stage, looking up at the lights.

Fred's face contorts into that of confusion and disbelief. ".....What? No, no.....sit down, Geo....."

"Not today!" Geo fires back. "Last week, I was put on the spot by being called onto the stage. I was nervous, I was sweating, and I even fainted in the end.....but I met RAINBOW DASH....I met SPIKE.....they REVIEWED my story! I went home A LOT happier than I thought I would.....

But, for 10 days....night after night.....I've laid in my bed.....unable to sleep....I couldn't even close my eyes to TRY. All I could think about.....was THIS stage......it kept calling me......and I couldn't refuse," Geo turns towards the co-hosts, a look of fire in his eyes. "I know where my place is, men.....not out there in the audience, no.....last week, when I felt the rush of adrenaline coursing through the very fiber of my being, and I noticed ALL of my fears and nervousness WASH away with all doubts in the world, and when I wake up the next morning and get the notification on FimFiction.net! THAT RAINBOW DASH IS WATCHING ME!......." Geo drops to his knees, and then to his belly, staring at the velvet red carpet he was lying on.

"I realized.....everything I had ever wanted, and all my dreams had come true.....On this. Very. Stage....." he gets back up on his two feet. 

"GEO! GEO! GEO! GEO! GEO! GEO! GEO!"

"YOU CAN'T DROWN THEIR WANTS OUT, MY FRIENDS!" Geo has to yell over the deafening crowd. "THEIR BODIES ARE READY....FOR GEO...DESIC....DRAGON!" Geo finishes to another roaring cheer from everybody in the audience.

Jason and fred share an impressed look with each other. Geo smirks at them.

The crowd quiets down, as fred and Jason get up from their seats, and stand at each of Geo's sides; fred to his left, and Jason to his right.

Fred down not look at Geo, but simply points at him, looking out into the sea of ravenous Geo-maniacs. "Is THIS want you want?!"

The crowd, of course, cheers immensely. "WE WANT GEO!" Clap, clap, clapclapclap. "WE WANT GEO!" Clap, clap, clapclapclap.

"Well alright then," fred replies with a grin. "I may be angry right now, but that was a VERY convincing speech. And, no matter WHAT emotion we are feeling, me and Jason will ALWAYS appreciate you guys' feedback! So.....with that in mind...tonight, and, if everything goes well enough, every time going forward, we here at A New Show....will have a THIRD co-host.....and his name...." fred gestures to his left. "is Geodesic Dragon."

The building LITERALLY starts to shake, as the crowd is once again in TOTAL OVULATION. They begin thrusting their index fingers into the air, chanting "YES!" after each thrust.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Screams a demonic voice, forcing the crowd into hushed silence. The audience, and the three co-hosts on stage turn towards the entrance, as they see "The Boss" riding in on stage in one of those Mobility scooters Walmart for the morbidly obese...or, ya know.....PHAT.

"Mr. Winfrey!" Jason welcomed with a large grin. "What a terrific surprise this-"

Jason was interrupted by Oprah Winfrey's walrus moan, as he began to go to town on a Hoagie, and proceed to buy the town with the money in his fat rolls. "Quiet, Mr. Heart! I am very displeased with you and Mr. fred!"

"Oh gee, boss!" fred exclaimed. "What'd we do? Please don't make me sleep with dah fishes!"

"Be serious!" Oprah yelled. "It clearly states in the A New Show contract, YOU TWO are the SOLE hosts! You're the most popular show on my network, and by having THIS NOBODY share the stage with you, the prestige will DROP, and it will INSPIRE people to think "Hey! I'm a nobody like that Dragon guy! I can accomplish MY dreams, too!"

"Isn't that what you WANT, sir?" Jason asks with a frown.

"OF COURSE NOT!" Oprah roars. "I want MONEY to be able to buy Digiorno's Goat Cheese Pizza! So, NO MORE HOSTS, or you're off the air!"

"Hey now, ya silly podger...." Geo said, getting in the face of Oprah.

"HE'S SPEAKING TURKISH! IT SAYS IN THE CONTRACT...NO TURKISH! Throw him out!" Oprah commanded, and her bodyguards immediately tackle Geo. A large crack is heard in the scuffle, and the crowd cringes at the possibility of Geo's spine being broken.

Oprah's homeboys drag Geo out of the shot, and we never see him again.

The crowd aims their boys right at Oprah.

"BE QUIET!" He roars in his trademark demonic voice. "I WILL USE YOUR BLOOD AS FUEL FOR MY FAT-MOBILE!!!!!!!" This quiets the crowd, once again.

"Good luck with the show, boys!" Oprah salutes, and drives off with evil laughter.

Jason sits back down in silence, but fred has a different reaction. He nods his head multiple times, with more velocity each time.

"Screw the guest right now! SCREW IT!" He screams. "Cut to commercial! I have something to say!"

Everything quickly fades to black with the image of fred seething.



Parking Lot.....

The doors leading to the inside of the building were shoved open, as Oprah's homies forcefully tossed Geo out onto the concrete. Geo's spine snapped back into place as a result of this.

"Well, that's ONE thing I don't have to worry about today," Geo muttered, straining to get up.

"Yeh. And don't even THANK about gettin' back inside, yo jizzidy jeez jizzle," Homie 1 said.

"Yeh. Dah doors be locked, bagpipes, so it ain't even worth tryin' wit' yo haggis n' cornbeef chuggin' salf," Homie 2 added.

"Salf?" Geo questioned the dialect of the beautiful black men with the raise of an eyebrow.

"Yeh. And Funkmasta Winfrey says ya Fanfictions SUCK too, broman," Homie 1 teased.

"GROVE STREET FA LIFE," Homie 2 declared, before slamming the double doors shut.

"What the hell?" Geo wondered. "Silly bunch of bawbags...."

"That was pretty pathetic...." Geo heard a voice from behind him. He turned around, to see Lightning Dust trotting out from the darkness, a mocking grin on her face.

Geo had to do a double-take. "L-Lightning Dust? What are you doing out here? By the way, nice fight last week. You sure went radge on-errr....yourself...."

"I like the dark," Dust responded. "Plus, I'm running from the catering guy.....he INSISTS on fetching me water! Shame you don't know this place like me, otherwise, you'd be inside by now. But, yeah...that fight WAS pretty awesome, wasn't it? I totally won! Right?"

"Errrr...." Geo stammered. "I wouldn't say THAT. I mean, you DID run away..."

"Hey!" Dust snapped. "It was a waste of my time, anyway....I proved my point. I should be the one on that stage EVERY WEEK, getting the credit I deserve as the TRUE Lightning Dust."

Geo sighed. "I know how you feel, actually...."

"I know you do," Dust responded. "I was watching you up on that stage.....listen, man, I'm not the biggest....people person, not anymore, but I still love defying authority. So, I've got a proposition for you...."

Jason chuckled. "R-really? For me?"

"Oh yeah," Dust smirked evilly. "I accidentally spilled coffee all over Winfrey last week, and short circuited his....fat-mobile...." Lightning Dust cringes. "Seriously, how can people take him seriously when he rides something named THAT? Anyway, I get to my locker room this week, and notice that the air conditioning in MY room ONLY, isn't working. I know that goo-ball did it, too. So, here's how it's gonna be.....I want revenge, you want revenge. I want spotlight, you want spotlight. I want air conditioning, you want....ummm...what else do you want?"

"Hmmmm..." Geo pondered everything in the world that would make sense being in his grasp, and realized how the scenarios that came with those items would end up in disaster. "Revenge and a vast amount of screen time is good enough for me."

Dust nodded. "Alright. You got a car?"

Geo nodded, and pointed to the audience members section of the parking lot, down at the very end. There stood the taxi from the movie "Freejack."

Lightning Dust had to hold in a laugh, but she still kept her composure. "Eh, it'll work. Now, you'll be the getaway driver....alright?"

Geo nodded. "Sounds good to me."

"One more thing," Dust added. "To start this mission, you must promise me ONE thing...."

"And what would that be?" Asked Geo.

"......You must write a Geoverse story based around ME."

"U-ummm....a-alright...an odd request, but if it gets me back on that stage, it is worth it. Now, do you want that with or without clop?"

"Eheheheheheheeeeee," Lightning Dust made mouth noise. ".....Clop....."

"Oh crap....." Geo swallowed. "F-fine...."

"Looks like we've got a deal, then...." Lightning Dust approached Geo, and held out a hoof. Geo looked it at, and realized there was nothing more to lose. He grasped her hoof in his hand, and shook it.

"What exactly are we going to be doing, Lightning Dust?" Geo almost forgot to ask.

"I'll lead you back into my locker room," Dust replied. "Keep in mind, there's no air conditioning, but now we can watch the rest of the show and strategize.....you'll see when it happens. Then, we make a run for it."

"Sounds good," Geo agrees.

"We're going to shake the very foundation of A New Show.....FOREVER," Lightning Dust chuckles evilly, as Geo copies her not-so-evilly. "Eh....4/10."

Back inside the studio.....

"Three broadcasts....." fred mutters, as he standing in front of the A New Show crowd, his head lowered. He raises it, with a steely glare right in the camera. "It only took three broadcasts, for us to get screwed over by the man. Oprah, we signed a FIVE YEAR deal with you! Do you REALLY think we are going to take FIVE years of whatever the hell that was you just pulled? NO! You don't OWN this show, you just make our money," fred craned his neck, as the crowd "OOOHHH"ed. 

"We should've just stayed on the internet if this is gonna be the case," fred continued. "I mean, 30 minutes?! We have 30 minutes?! That's enough for TWO guests ONLY! We would give you guys 10 guests if we could, but that's not the case. We're being screwed, but you're being screwed ROYALLY. Like a Filipino woman on a Friday night. But then again, me and Jason should've EXPECTED this. Oprah Winfrey has made a hefty living off of SCREWING EVERYBODY that he has worked with, and he sure doesn't do it gently! Well, guess what, Oprah? You can lay down all the rules you want, and WE. WILL. BREAK THEM! If we want another co-host, we'll have another co-host! If we want TEN more co-hosts, we'll put up flyers for ten more co-hosts! Nothing you say can stop up, because we've made you more money in three broadcasts than ANY other show on your network has. WE ARE IRON-CLAD, OPRAH.

YOU CANNOT BREAK US. And if you try to, we can go back to the 'Tubes, where our efforts are APPRECIATED, and where NOBODY can pull our strings, like we're some deprived wooden creations of normality! Because if you couldn't tell.....this show, IS NOT NORMAL. We are unlike ANYTHING on Television! We are GROUND-BREAKING, we are FRESH, and starting right now.....WE ARE UNFILTERED. WE rent this building out, not you, and we would be GLAD to make sure your fat ass NEVER makes our show's airwaves AGAIN! 

Your career peaked long ago, and you're now just trying to cash in on the young guns. You're threatened by the youthful, and less obese, and for such a "savvy businessman",  you sure do get into a lot of affairs that businessmen should have no BUSINESS being in. In reality, Oprah, you have NO IDEA about the concept of BUSINESS, because you seem to have the urge to make business about YOU.

Here's a tip....sit down, shut up, and count the money that comes your way....COURTESY OF US, by the way. Let us work our magic, let us make the fans of A New Home happy, and let the damn show go on!"

The crowd stops fred's rant with ferocious applause.

"And for everybody on Social Media saying me and Jason "sold out", here's some advice for YOU.....keep licking that Dorito debris off of your pudgy fingers, and go Twitter yourselves with a rusty cheese grater, and GO TO HELL. We'll be selling out when we let Oprah tell us what to do, and that's NOT HAPPENING! From this day forward, we don't work for Oprah Winfrey...we work....for ourselves. We air on OWN Network, but OWN doesn't OWN US," without any more points to make, fred sat down, huffing. Jason and the audience gave him a standing ovation.

"I'm sometimes afraid to speak my mind, friend, so I'm glad you spoke it for me," Jason declared. "And I agree with everything you said! Shall we start over?"

Fred nodded. "Yes. Welcome to A NEW New Show, fair viewers. I am fred2266."

"And I'm APoeticHeart," Jason introduced with a smile. "Let's bring out our first guest before more chicanery occurs. She recently went through quite the transformation-well, at least on her mane....everybody, please welcome, for the second time on A New Show....RAINBOW DASH!"

The co-hosts and the audience members all got up and gave Rainbow Dash a thundering ovation, as the licorice princess herself came jumping out of the curtain in a frenzy. She stomped her hooves and jogged in place, before raising one forehoof up in the air, and colliding it with the forehoof that was lowered, shouting "BOOM!" each time the hoof collided. She did this three times. She ran over to Jason's sectional, and literally POUNCED onto it.

"Welcome to the show again, Rainbow Dash," fred said, going over and shaking her hoof. "Sorry I missed you last week."

"Oh, it's all good, mon!" Dash spoke, with probably the most spot-on Jamaican accent ever to escape through mouth cavities, only it was still in her voice. "By dee way, my name ain't Rainba Dash naw more, star, it be Kofi Bob Applejacks Sean Kingston Marley Cereal Paul!"

"Uuuuhhhhhh....." Jason didn't know what to say, fred laughed out loud.

"Any reason why, Da-....errr...Kofi?" Fred asked, snickering.

"Well, it be real easy, mon....me favorite wrestler is KOFI KINGSTON! Me favorite artist is a tie between BOB MARLEY and SEAN PAUL! And me favorite cereal is Applejacks! I'M DAH WINNA, MON!"

"Uuuuhhhh...." Jason was still speechless.

"I see......" Fred took a moment to stand up, and address the viewers at home, as well as the crowd. "Fans all across the world, you are about to witness, the single greatest interview in Television HISTORY," taking a deep breath, he returned to his chair with excitement. "So, Kofi, first question....I see you've now added some rainbow beads to your dreads. Gotten use to the new manestyle, eh?"

"Oh, yah bet, mon!" Kofi exclaimed. "I only hated it until I let the true power of Bobsled Fever enrich my rainbow veins, and now I'm a total kwengatta!"

"I'm guessing you get all the colts now, huh?" Fred asked, not serious like usual.

"Nah, mon. Me get all the Goodaz!" Kofi admitted.

"The...goodaz?" Jason hesitantly asked.

"Yah know, mon...the mares!" Kofi explained.

"......Uuuuhhhhh....." Jason was once again speechless, as fred was rolling on the floor in hysterics. 

"I know, mon! It's-SO SLAP WEH!" Dash's voice cracked.

"So, Kofi....is being a member of the Wonderbolts STILL at the top of your priorities?"

"Hah! Hay nah, mon," Dash dismissed. "Kofi is ready to be numbah one Equestrian BOBSLEDDIN' CHAMPION! Nopony be as fast as me on dat ice, mon!"

"B-....bobsledding?" Jason questions, about to die from dumb.

"Of course, mon! I represent Jamareca ALL DAH WAY, mon! Feel dah rhythm, feel dah rhyme, come on ya'll, IT'S BOBSLED TIME! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!" Kofi repeated what she did in her entrance.

"Do you have any other teammates thus far?" Fred asked, thoroughly curious in everything Kofi said.

"Nah, mon! Kofi don't need no teammates. She best bobsleddah all on her OWN."

"I'm sure you are," fred lied. "In any event, we all look forward to seeing you on the ice. Any parting words for everybody, Kofi?"

"I shot dah sheriff," Kofi sang. "But I didn't shoot dah deputy! Oh yah! And also, if there's ever trouble in Paradise, yah can expect Kofi ta be there! Everybody do it with me!"

All at once, Kofi, fred, and the audience took part in one final "BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!", as Kofi left to a worthy reception. Jason still was having trouble processing ANYTHING.

"That was INCREDIBLE!" Fred said with a hearty laugh, as the crowd cheered in agreement.

"COMMERCIAL. NOW," Jason commanded with an expressionless look.

A New Show is brought to you by....



Backstage at the catering area....

"Crap!" Cody groaned. "I didn't realize Kraken ink would be THAT hard to clean out! The show's probably over by now!" Cody began running, until he saw a mint green blur at the catering area. That color could not be mistaken. Cody stopped, and back-peddled a few steps, until he spotted...her.

Lyra Heartstrings. The mare of his dreams. So what if they were two TOTALLY different species? This is AMERICA! Cody licked his lips as he watched Lyra. She was talking to Bon Bon, BUT THAT CAVITY CREEP WASN'T IMPORTANT TO HIM! It was all about Lyra. Her luscious curves, and her flowing crest-like mane could make a grow man cry, especially since Cody had to wipe a tear away from his eyes.

"The show can wait," Cody whispered. "I'm going in.....no more regrets." Cody began walking forward, and didn't stop until he was right in the middle of Lyra and Bon Bon.

Bon Bon continued to talk, but Lyra gasped, turned to her side, saw human, gasped even louder, and punched Bon Bon in her face. Bon Bon fell to the floor with a thud.

"H-....hi, Lyra...." Cody stuttered, as he couldn't help being nervous. He just wanted to lick Lyra like the big ole pistachio bowl of ice cream she was.

"HUMAN," Lyra whispered in ecstasy. She began to cast dreamy eyes upon Cody.

Cody shuffled his feet against the floor. "I just wanted to know....I mean, if you weren't busy sometime-"

"I LOVE YOU," Lyra blurted out, interrupting Cody.

"You....you do?" Cody asked with wide, hopeful eyes. 

Lyra nodded. "ARE YOU KIDDING?! You're the only human I've met that hasn't run away from me yet! Why....why haven't you run?"

This was it. The substance was there. Now Cody just had to seal the deal. He gently grabbed one of Lyra's forehooves, and affectionately kissed it. A multitude of hearts danced in a circle around Lyra's head, as she realized she would never be able to was that hoof again.

"I haven't run....because I love you too, Lyra....those humans are just crazy..."

"But I'm cra-"

"Don't you dare say you are crazy, Lyra!" Cody interrupted. "You're just different....I like different." He smiles. 

"Wow....you're perfect...." cooed Lyra.

"So are you...." Cody complimented.

Time stood still as both parties could not take their eyes off of each other.

"I will be your human," Cody continued. ".....Will you be the heartstrings to my heart, Lyra?"

"Can....can I touch the hands?" Lyra had to ask.

"Whenever you want..." Cody replied sweetly.

"Yes...." Lyra whispered. "Yes, yes, yes!" She kept getting louder. "YES!!!!!!!!! Wait, though....you don't have a ring...." she frowned. "I know you're a gorgeous human and all, but I just can't let you not having a ring slide...."

Cody frowned as well, before an idea came to fruition. "Well....we COULD go to Walmart and get you a Ringpop...."

Lyra gasped even more now. "A beautiful human AND Candy? You're spoiling me already, sweetie!"

Cody holds out his arms, and Lyra jumps into them without hesitation. Cody walks off with his fair maiden sniffing his hair.

Meanwhile, Bon Bon is still flat on the floor, missing 6 teeth. She holds up a white flag, as a catchy ending tune plays, sending us into another commercial......

A New Show is brought to you by.....



Back in the studio....

"You alright now, Jason?" Fred asks, chuckling at Jason's earlier outburst.

"Yeah....I guess. That last guest just....what is life?" Jason facepalmed, hoping guests like THAT would be few and far between.

"It's ratings, though, that's for sure!" Fred exclaimed.

"Speaking of ratings," Jason began. "It's time...for the moment, you've all been waiting for....after a night's worth of hype, we have finally come to this point. Ladies and gentleman, our final guest for the night, was CERTAINLY worth the wait! I just hope he knows what he's getting into...."

"For his sake," fred replied. "I hope so, too..."

All of the audience members dug under their seats, and pulled out pitchforks, ready to use them if fred tried anything asinine. 

Jason shook his head. "Longtime readers of A New Home....it is my honor, my privilege, and my utmost pleasure, to introduce to you, our favorite Original Character, and the main protagonist for the A New Home series, FOREVER and ALWAYS.....TOBY MASON!"

Never had this building shook as much as it did when that name was announced.

Sunset Shimmer slowly made her way out. She looked to her side with a smile, but was surprised to find somebody wasn't next to her. She went backstage, as the crowd was foaming at the mouth for the most important guest of all time.

A few moments later, Sunset came back out, with Pony Fluttershy next to her, and next to HER, holding onto her hoof, was her loving son, Toby.

Toby tried to shield himself from the crowd. He was starting to get better at being around people, but there were so many people....so many NOISY people, all of that progress was lost.

That was until, Toby heard the most gripping thing he could have possibly heard.

"TOBY! TOBY! TOBY! TOBY! TOBY! TOBY!"

They were chanting his name.

At that moment, Toby's shell obliterated into smithereens, as he realized, at that moment, that these people truly loved him.

He grinned so wide. So, SO wide. 

His mother and Sunset began to lead Toby through the stage, when out of nowhere, a lightning flash enveloped around the perimeter of the two humans, and the shy pegasus.

Fluttershy and Sunset fell on the rumps from the blast radius, as they realized their beloved Toy was not with them.

They looked up above them, and saw Lightning Dust forcefully grasping Toby in her hooves. She had one forehoof over his mouth to muffle his cries and scream, while the other one cradled him.

"Heh. I guess you could say, this is Child's Play!" Dust declared, as the jeers of the crowd began to unfold. She didn't care, though, as she went before zooming off through the curtain. Sunset tried to dive into her, but she was too fast, and she wound up landing on her face, blood immediately trickling from her nose.

"TOBY!!!!!!!" Fluttershy cried in despair, but then realized that was the WRONG emotion for this situation. Her mouth curled, and her eyebrows launched below in determination and anger. "Not again......NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!" Fluttershy took off without a warning, as she began to fly as fast as she ever had.

"Sunset, are you ok-" Jason tried to ask, but was interrupted as Sunset swatted his hand away from her.

"Who cares about me right now?!" She bellowed. "We have to get him back!"

Jason nodded, as both he and Sunset sprinted through the curtain.

Fred began pounding on the stage, as his hands began to bleed. "EVERY DAMN WEEK! EVERY DAMN WEEK, this show ends in DISASTER! I'm BEGGING for just ONE NORMAL, HEARTWARMING ENDING, DAMMIT! JUST ONE! Perfume spraying, ball-bashing, and now CHILD ROBBERY?!?!?!" Fred turned towards the crowd. "Folks, I don't care if Toby stole my churro.....in fact, I wasn't planning to do ANYTHING to him....I just....I just wanted him on the show....YOU wanted him on the show! I only wanted to make everybody happy.....i-...it was supposed to be just a normal DAMN interview, and it turns into THIS?! I-.....I'm sorry....th-....it's all my fault." Fred buried his face into his hands, as he slowly walked off stage.

The crowd sat in stunned silence, not knowing what to do.

In the parking lot.....

"Dammit, Lightning Dust!" Geo shouted over the blaring engine of his Taxi. "How will this get us revenge on Oprah?! How is this going to get us back on stage?!"

"Isn't it obvious, man?! We take everyone's most beloved character, they get mad and yell at Oprah for false advertising!"

"I don't WANT to kidnap him, though!" Geo replied with anger. "This isn't worth it!"

"GEO! YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME!" Lightning Dust roared with pleading eyes. "I PROMISE....everything will work out in the end....I PROMISE. Besides, I'm out for something MORE than just revenge...." she looked down at Toby, whose tears was flowing like a waterfall onto his red jacket. "Don't worry, kid, you're going to be helping me and Geo out.....we could REALLY use it....me for a different, reason, though...."

"What the bloody hell do you mean by tha-" 

"GET BACK HERE, YOU MONSTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!" Geo was interrupted by the murderous shrieking of Fluttershy.

"No time to explain right now!" Lightning Dust said. "Go, Geo! GO!!!!!"

Geo hit his head against the wheel in frustration, but knew he'd be mincemeat if he wasted any more time. He flipped the Nitrous switch, and stepped off the gas. The taxi was literally so fast, it teleported 25 feet before it rode off at unfathomable speeds.

Fluttershy was still just as fast, though. Twilight Sparkle was trailing a bit behind her, and on the ground, Sunset Shimmer and Jason huffed and puffed, out of breath.

"I....it's no use...." Sunset admitted, defeated. "We'll never catch them on foot...."

"I was driven here....by...limo...." Jason gasped for air. "My car's....not....here...."

All of a sudden, a green Sabre skidded to a stop in front of the two. The passenger's window rolled down, as a familiar face, Homie 1 looked out at the two. 

"Yo, get in, foo's!" Homie 2 demanded. Sunset and Jason, with no other options, sprinted to get inside the car.

"Love the story, Mad Dog Poetic," Homie 1 complimented. "Sorry for went bustin' on yo' set, dawg..."

"Yeh. We just didn't wanna make Funkmasta Winfrey mad, dude," Homie 2 explained.

"Thanks you guys," Jason replied with a warm smile. "But for now, let's just catch up to those crooks!"

"Yu got it, mah leez-nits!" Homie 1 replied, turning to Homie 2. "You ready, brudda?"

Homie 2 didn't need to nod, all he needed for an answer was to pull out his Tec9, reloading it.

"A'right then!" Homie 1 exclaimed, as he stepped on the gas, and began to burn rubber out of the parking lot.

Outside the parking lot, Kofi, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack were getting ready to take off, as well, as there positions in Kofi's newly bought bobsled had been taken.

Applejack sat in the cockpit, Pinkie Pie in the middle, Rarity behind her, and in the back seat would be Kofi.

"Come-on, Dashie!" Pinkie hurried. "We don't have time to be all super-duper slow! Toby needs his aunties help!"

Kofi scowled in response. "I already told ya, mon....me name ain't Rainba Dash, it's-"

"UGH!" Rarity groaned. "Just start running already, you fraud!"

"Eh, eh...breath easy now, mon!" Kofi replied. "Alright.....hit it! Feel dah Rhythm, feel dah-" Kofi looked up ahead, and saw that Applejack, Pinkie, and Rarity all had un-amused looks on their faces. "Why aren't yah all doin' the jingle with me?"

"We ain't got TIME for any'a that, Sugarcube!" Applejack scolding, putting on her helmet. "Our nephew's in trouble! And ah NEVER leave mah kin hangin'."

"Yah HAVE to do dah jingle with me, mon!" Kofi interjected. "It makes us a fearsome team!"

Rarity had had enough. She climbed out of her seat, reared forward, and then bucked Kofi right in his abdomen. As Kofi lay on the ground, spread eagle in pain, Rarity put her forehooves on the bobsled, and began running at top speed. When she was 30 or so feet out, she jumped in, letting the bobsled do the rest of the work.

Kofi slowly got up, as she had to flip her dreads out of her eyes. She looked ahead, and saw that her precious bobsled was out of sight.

Kofi looked around for any other means of transportation, and shrugged. "Jamareca, I am dah track and field team..." she announced enthusiastically, as she began trotting out into the distance, with no means of stopping until her nephew was saved......



End feed.