60's Era Spiderman goes to Equestria

by MnM

The Booty Menace Part One

I'm sorry about the lack of updates. School's picking up, and I've been finding less and less time to write. On top of that, I've been sick, and I just got out of a depression that was preventing me from writing.

I also do not have as much motivation to write this as usual. This typically means I need to spend a day or so reading Katawa Broujo and the other works of the writefag known as Bromont, as this typically improves my writing when it comes to these stories.

I'll try to update this more regularly... but just bear with me, okay?


"You sure you're going to be fine going to Manehattan without us, ole' chap? I've heard it can be a rough place." our hero's gentlemanly raptor companion asked, walking besides our hero, Fluttershy, and Ms. Cheerilee as they made their way towards the train station. When our hero came home to pack a few things for the trip, they had insisted on seeing him off.

"Lawl yeah."

"But Spiderman, it's-"

Our hero shoved his hand into Fluttershy's, interrupting her. "Fuck your hockey game."

The yellow pegasus paused and blinked in confusion, before continuing to follow her friends.

"All aboard!" the conductor exclaimed as the four approached the train.

"Come on, Spidey!" Cheerilee shouted to our hero as she ran on board.

"Good bye, Spiderman." the raptor said, "see you when you get back."

"We'll miss you." Fluttershy said.

Our hero turned to them and looked down upon them. "Like I give a fuck." he said.

And with that, he waved, and climbed on board the train just as it started to chug away from the platform. A window rolled down, and out shot a blue and red arm, one finger aimed at Fluttershy and Fluffles.

"He truly doesn't give a fuck, does he?" Fluffles asked.

"Nope." the yellow pegasus replied.

Our hero slept through the majority of the trip to Manehattan, though he pause his nap to pull the emergency brakes a few times for teh lulz.

The train screeched to a halt, causing Cheerilee to look up from her book and glance out the window. The train had stopped just outside of the city without any apparent reasons.

"This is your conductor," the conductor said over the train's PA system, "due to the government shut down, the Rape Train Express cannot deliver you to your final destination. If you are angry with the government shutdown, please tune to channel nine later this week to watch Empress Luna kill those responsible for the shutdown on live TV."

Everypony in the train groaned as the rose from their seats, some bitching about conservative nobles, and some bitching about the liberal nobles. But we knew the truth. They were all the same.

Cheerilee gently nudged our hero in an attempt to wake him.

"No dad... I don't want surprise the neighbor boy with buttsecks for your amusement... lawl." our hero said sleepily.

The mare rolled her eyes, shoving him roughly. "Spiderman, wake up."

"...mmm... nigga I don't have your Oasis album..."

She glared at our hero, before smirking as an idea crossed her mind. "SPIDERMAN LOOK, BOOTY!" she said, pointing out the window.

"WHERE?!" our hero said, lurching up from his seat and punching out the window, poking his head out of it and looking around erratically for da booty.

All the while, Cheerilee packed up her items, watching him with an amused grin. "No booty, Spidey. But we do have hoof it to the city. The government is being incompetent again."

"Lawl k."

"Quit your whining, Spiderman." Cheerille prompted.

"Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut my feet hurt, I can't shot web, and on top of it all, I got blue balls." our hero complained.

Cheerilee rounded on our hero and stared him down. She reached into her saddlebags, much to 60's Era Spiderman's curiously, and pulled out a pair of sunglasses.

After putting them on, she looked into our heroes eyes and said, "Deal with it."

"Lawl k."

Satisfied, Cheerilee turned away from our hero and continued on. As she turned around, our hero caught a peak at da glorious booty.




"Mirin da booty." Spiderman said quietly to himself.

"What was that?" Cheerilee asked.

"Nothing lawl."

Eventually, the couple found themselves hills above the city, where the cities wealthy lived. They found themselves surrounded by large mansions and luxury apartments. The wealthy in the area watched the pair suspiciously, doing their best to maintain a distance. Spiderman probably would have went on an ass kicking spree, but he didn't know if Cheerilee would appreciate it.

Like he gave a fuck.

As Spiderman prepared to charge at the nearest pony who looked at him strangely, Cheerilee stopped and turned towards a fancy ass mansion.

"Wait, your family is rich?" our hero inquired.

"Hmmm... oh! No! I won this place in a poker match. It's my summer home." the teacher said casually as she made way up the steps. Doing his best not to shit bricks, our hero quickly followed her. She placed her bags beside her and unlocked the door, before picking her bags up once more and stepping inside, Spiderman right behind her.

The house smelt of stale air and was modestly decorated. Our hero placed his things down by the door and jumped on the couch, switching on the TV.

He flipped through the channels and decided on watching Sonic X.

"Gotta go fast." our hero said.

"You're too slow!" Sonic teased.

"Shit." Spiderman said, knowing the blue hedgehog was right.

"I'm going to get take a nap, then we can go out and do something. Okay, Spidey?" Cheerilee inquired.

"Yup." our hero replied, not giving a fuck as he flipped the channel to House MD.