//------------------------------// // Unhinged // Story: Just an Everyday Princess // by Wages of Sin //------------------------------// "How could this have happened?" Twilight asked solemnly. The hoofmadens tried to comfort their bruised and bloodied princess as she tried to sit up. "Ready? Three... Two... One...Now!" Cloud fell back, dragging with her the buffalo spear that had not moments before been embedded within her princess. Twilight gave no reaction other than a nod of thanks for its removal. The armed group of war-painted buffalo continued to pound on the barrier of the lone stallion standing between them and the princess. "Surrender now or this will not end well for you!" Chief Thunderhooves warned threateningly as he closed in alongside his warriors, "There's no way out of here for you now!" ~~~Just a bit earlier~~~ When the mares reached the designated area they were struck by the sight of no less than fifty buffalo, armed with spears and in the same war paint they had adorned during the spectacle when they had arrived in town. The mares looked to their princess for a cue to flee from the war party, but from her reaction to the sight, she was either suddenly rendered blind or this is what she had expected for she simply smiled and looked through the crowd, as if expecting somepony. "Princess? What's-" "AH! Princess you are early!" Chief Thunderhooves roared over the din of the gathered buffalo as he made his way through with some others joining him as he went. "Only a few minutes..." she pouted, noting the position of the sun in the sky, "So tell me, is everything in order?" Twilight asked eagerly as the mares around her backed away from the approaching hoard. "Indeed your majesty!" the great buffalo happily chirped, "We can begin almost immediately!" "What's going on here Princess?" Cloud whispered as best she could over the terror clear in her voice. "They're preparing for the ritual." she said matter-of-factly. "Actually..." she looked around animatedly before turning back to Thunderhooves,"...where precisely is the ritual taking place?" "Right here!" Thunderhooves proudly belted, pointing straight to the ground beneath them. Twilight looked to the open field around them before nodded lightly in recognition. "Princess! Please tell us what's going-" before Cloud could finish her plea a brown blur launched itself from the buffalo ranks and impacted the princess. On an overlooking hillside a lone figure leapt into action. "Princess!" The maidens shrieked as she was leapt upon by the blur. Shock and fear flashed across their faces until they realized the blur had been welcomed into an embrace by the princess. "Twilight! I'm so glad you could make it!" "Oh Little Strongheart, I wouldn't miss this for the world!" The spindly buffalo smiled as she broke the hug. "So how does this work now?" Twilight asked in her patented down-to-business voice. "Well, it's quite simple really, did Braeburn tell you about the-" "I'm sorry Miss- is it Strongheart?- but we really need to talk to the princess right now." Brush said, almost sounding sincerely apologetic before grabbing Twilight and making a huddle with the other mares. "Princess, What's going on? I thought we were on our way to a wedding!" Brush asked, trying to stay quiet enough to remain unheard by the buffalo just outside the huddle. "We were, and we are." Twilight said chuckling quietly before pulling out of the huddle and trotting beside Little Strongheart. "Ladies, may I introduce Little Strongheart, daughter of Chief Thunderhooves and fiancé to Braeburn Apple." Apparently thinking the conversation to be over, Twilight turned and opened her mouth to continue her conversation with Little Strongheart. Her words caught in her throat though, as she was unexpectedly and unceremoniously dragged back into the maid's huddle. "That explains why we're here but not why they're carrying weapons!" "Well I didn't really anticipate that either, but I would assume they're only for the ceremony." "Ceremony?" "Yes, the ceremony we are about to be a part of is one where-" "RAAAAAARRRRGH!" The interrupting war cry was accompanied by an eruption amongst the ranks of buffalo. For a moment it seemed as if a train had collided with the buffalo heard, but as they continued to be tossed aside the even more troubling cause was revealed. "Foul beasts! I knew you were trouble as soon as we stepped off the train!" Blue Blazer shouted as he continued to plow through the crowd, telekinetically cutting through and tossing buffalo like a ship's hull through water. "Captain! What are you-" He jumped around, leveling his horn threateningly towards the buffalo heard. "Do not fear princess! I discovered their insidious plot and have come to save you from these beasts!" Strongheart indignantly marched right up to the posturing stallion, "Now see here you crazy-" Strongheart reached to tap the stallion's breastplate, but before contact was made, his horn lit and she was blasted back right into her father. As the chief reached to cradle the limp wide-eyed form of his daughter, the reaction from the heard was immediate. Shrieks and enraged hollering filled the air, vastly overwhelming the cries of a certain alicorn about "not worrying" and "just a stun spell". Her pleading went un-noticed though as a good portion of the buffalo heard started charging at the offending stallion. In response he quickly threw up a barrier to hold off the stampede. "Don't worry princess! I'll protect you!" he shouted as the buffalo began to impact head-long into the barrier, each hit noticeably straining it but without success. Risking a glance back, he found Twilight to be leveling her horn at him. "Blue Blazer! Lower this barrier right now so I can check on my friend, or so help me you'll find out why even Discord takes heed of my warnings!" The look of shock on his face convinced her to ‘lower’ her horn. She looked him in the eyes, expecting him to finally calm down, only to be met with the same blast that had not moments ago taken down Little Strongheart. "WHAT THE BUCK WAS THAT!" shouted Soft, glaring daggers at the armor-clad stallion as she caught the limp princess. "Our naïve princess doesn't understand just how much danger she is in! I can't have her distracting me and compromising my duties! I'll defend the princess at any cost! Such is my sacred duty!" The mares just stared in slack-jawed awe. Apparently misinterpreting their reactions, Blue Blazer chuckled "Now do not fear! There is nothing that they can do to breach my barrier!" His words of confidence imparted, Blue Blazer turned back to find that the barrier had already developed fractures that the buffalo were utilizing their spears to expand, several spears already thrust through the shell. "Oh no you don't!" Grabbing the spears with his telekinesis, he jerked them from the hooves of the attackers, dragging them, shaft and all, inside the barrier. "Did you really think that would work?" he shouted mockingly, hap-hazard tossing the collected spears behind himself. "You'll have to do better than that to get past me!" Now it was the Buffalo's turn to stare in their own bout of slack-jawed amazement as they watched the tossed spears tumble through the air, most only narrowly being dodged by the maddens, but one arcing right into the immobile princess. Without any way to defend herself, the spear gracefully traveled right through her side, pinning her to the ground. "You are so amazed by my skill you can't even continue!" Blue Blazer mocked, "Ha! You should give up now! There is nothing that can harm the princess while I'm protecting her!" The silent crowed just continued to stare until Chief Thunderhooves pushed his way through the pack. "Surrender now or this will not end well for you!" Chief Thunderhooves warned threateningly as he closed in alongside his warriors, "There's no way out of here for you now!" "You'll never overcome the resolve I have to protect the princess!" It was not a second after the words were spoken that Blue Blazer's world went black. *Yawn* "Wake up Stony! We're on vacation!" Dasher laughed, draping a hoof over his just awakened friend. "No we're not." Bastion snapped, "We're going to check up on the princess." Dasher gave Bastion a gauging glance, deciding to chalk up his harshness to agitation. "Yeah, speaking of that, why are we doing this? Didn't she tell us not to?" he asked undeterred. "Why the sudden change of heart? I thought we were actually going to leave her alone today." "Yeah, I know, I know, she told us not to, but I've just got this feeling.... It might be nothing but... Anyway, if she asks, we're just checking up on her. We've left her alone for a few hours as she requested, but I just want to be sure she's safe. With how her letter was written, I'm sure she'll understand." "Yeah, she'll probably understand, but do you really think that we need to..." his words died off as he reached the edge of the bluff. "Is that the captain? What's he doing?" Dasher asked as a figure approached the rear of a gathering of buffalo. Before Bastion or Stonehoof could make an attempt to guess at their Captain's actions, the figure began to plow through the group with his magic. "What the flying-" "Come on!" The three stallions were immediately in a gallop down into the valley. No longer possessing the eagle-eye view the bluff had provided, the stallions relied on sound to indicate how the conflict on the obstructed side of the buffalo was going. The guard group's intentions were clear, at least until the buffalo group released a cry, and a good portion of the heard rushed ahead toward a newly constructed barrier, leaving the old, young, and a certain chief and his daughter behind. The sparseness of the remaining heard no longer required the clearing of a path, so rather than fight, the stallions began to duck and weave though the pack. At least until they realized that none of the buffalo were lifting so much as a hoof to stop them. They continued onward until one particular buffalo caught their eye. "Call off your attack!" Dasher yelled as the trio leveled their horns at Chief Thunderhooves. "You protect the princess, correct?" Chief Thunderhooves asked in a whisper that betrayed much in the way of emotion. The concern in his voice and his inflection on the princess's title stopped the stallions. It was almost as if he's worried about her. "Yes, why?" their motion was not stopped but surprise and concern slowed their pace. Upon inspection the headdressesed bovine was cradling another in his hooves "I fear for her safety. For whatever reason, it appears that one of you stallions in the armor of the guard intruded upon our meeting with the Princess, assaulted my daughter and holed himself up inside that barrier. My buffalo are trying to break the barrier, but he has-" "Stop right there! The Captain would never turn against the princess! His loyalty is nigh-legendary!" "It is not his loyalty that I question, it is his sanity." The abrupt change on the faces of the stallions from anger to fear was as abrupt as it was telling. Before further details of the situation could be exchanged, a cry was heard. "Chief!" the stallions and buffalo turned to find a young bull running up, "We have almost breached the barrier!" "Good," he turned to the stallions, "We will subdue the stallion and allow you to-" "He also impaled her with a spear he took from us!" The newly informed group reacted to the words only just harsher than those who had seen the sight themselves. Bastion was first to recover and speak, he turned to Thunderhooves, "Keep as many hooves as possible pounding on the barrier. We'll sneak around back and-" he looked to Stonehoof, "You served as one of the rail-passage keepers during the Changeling crisis correct? Do you think you can quietly open a passage through the captain's barrier?" a nod, "Then we'll go in through the back, in his blind spot while his magical perception is focused on the front. We'll sneak in and-" "What if he just turns around?" Dasher interjected suddenly. Bastion stared at him blankly for a second before turning to Thunderhooves, "Can you keep him distracted long enough for us to breach the barrier and... subdue him?" "How could this have happened?" Twilight asked solemnly. The hoofmadens tried to comfort their bruised and bloodied princess as she tried to sit up. "Ready? Three... Two... One...Now!" Cloud fell back, dragging with her the buffalo spear that had not moments before been embedded within her princess. Twilight gave no reaction other than a nod of thanks for its removal. Having already stealthily made their way through a barrier-portal Stonehoof had opened, the stallions quietly checked on the princess before advancing toward the turned back of their captain. While they were still checking on the princess and as the heard continued to pound on the barrier as Chief Thuderhooves made his grandiose appearance. Appearing all the-evil villain that Blue Blazer must have thought him to be, he began his cliché yet wonderfully effective diversion. "Surrender now or this will not end well for you!" he warned, practically twirling his mustache with the dramatically overblown confidence that dripped from his voice. He closed in alongside his warriors, only adding to the effect "There's no way out of here for you now!" "You'll never overcome the resolve I have to protect the princess!" Fully conscious and aware, even while the spear was still in her side, the stun spell was the only real issue with the downed princess, so the stealth team had quickly continued on to the 'subduing' of Blue Blazer. A swift hoof to the back of the head delivered by a certain Stonehoof was more than sufficient for the job. Appaloosa's only hospital wasn't really a hospital at all, it was more of just a doctor’s office. That is to say, it was actually just the well-stocked house where the town's only doctor practiced medicine. Well... he technically wasn't a doctor, anymore at least. Retirement had been well deserved after thirty years as a doctor of biological and magical practice in Manehattan. He had decided that moving away from the hustle and bustle of the big city would be a wise change and find him a lot more peace for a stallion if his increasing age. In fact, other than the now annual pie wars, he was finding the town to be living up to its calming, rustic appeal. That's precisely why he was so surprised when he had answered the banging at his front door... "Other than the heart attack you all nearly gave me when you all showed up and the bump on the one guard's head, it looks like you all get clean bills of health!" Dr. Cross announced as he re-entered his living room, "Is there anything else you need from me?" he asked, looking around the room for any responses. "No, we should be out of your mane soon enough. I can't thank you enough for helping us all on such short notice." Twilight spoke for the group. She turned to Little Strongheart, who despite waking up shortly after Blue Blazer's incapacitation had been reluctantly carried by her father to the elder stallion’s home. "Are you sure you're feeling alright? The royal guard's stun spell is designed to have no side effects after awakening but..." "I'm fine Twilight, really." the lying buffalo said, "I'm just upset we couldn't do the ceremony like we wanted..." "Don't worry, we'll do it tomorrow. To be honest, from my prior experience with weddings this one is going pretty well so far!" Twilight awkwardly chuckled, as smiles were shared at the expense of the three guards who cringed at the memory. "Just tell your Everypony we'll do it tomorrow." "Alright! Same plan tomorrow then!" She said raising to her hooves. "Of course." Twilight said with a nod. "It seems you're all right to move now, but just to be sure I'll walk you out." Dr. Cross said as he helped her up, siding up to her to allow her to put some of her weight onto him. With his aid, she made their way out the home and into the arms of her father, who despite trying, was unable to fit his size through the pony-sized door of the home. Through the same window he had been using to look in, the ponies looked out to see the three conversing. "Princess..." "I know." the mood abruptly shifted as Twilight turned to the three remaining occupants of the room, "Despite his apparent intentions, what the Captain did today is absolutely inexcusable. Despite the understanding Chief Thunderhooves and Little Strongheart showed, this is not a matter that can just be brushed under the rug. Blueblazer obviously fails to realize the context of his duty and has clearly and repeatedly shown that he does not respect me or my authority. His heart is probably in the right place, but his suspicion is clearly disrupting his judgment. This is why I’m hereby temporarily removing him from duty, and tasking you three with escorting him back to Canterlot for professional help." "Yes your majesty." the stallions rose, saluted, and turned to retrieve their unconscious former captain from the bedroom. Twilight took one last look out at the bride-to-be and her father before teleporting back to the hotel where the maidens were already waiting. She quickly confirmed her safe arrival and the proximity of her bed before wandering over and promptly passing out. It had been a long day.