Darkness. Cold. A light in the distance. Movement, I was moving, drifting. The light was growing larger, brighter. Other lights appeared. Farther away, dimmer, smaller. The first light was moving, shimmering. Sound came from beyond. .
“...wake up, please...”
There was something important about the sound, the voice. But my thoughts were slow, sluggish, unwilling to move.
“Please, wake up, Michael…”
A presence. Something was here. It felt old, large, like a tree, towering, weathering all storms. The presence noticed me. I felt it, like a brief but strong wind. In a voice like some long forgotten god, it spoke.
“I SEE YOU, TRAVELLERS. HOW FARES THE HEARTLAND.”
Traveller, I had been called that before. The voice from beyond the light stopped. The sound of weeping came from beyond it now.
“ARE YOU LOST, LITTLE ONES? PERHAPS YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE LEFT SO YOUNG.”
Leave. I didn’t want to leave. I had to go back, for… for something. Something important. Special. Precious. I tried to speak, to make any noise, but couldn’t. But I managed something else. It wasn’t speaking, but it was better than nothing. It was weak, a shadow of a whisper compared to the voice of the presence.
“... don’t want to leave.”
It still had that strange echo to it, like someone was copying me as I spoke.
“YOU COME FROM THE HEARTLAND?” the presence asked. I felt shocked, suddenly, but it was wrong, off. I wasn’t shocked, the presence was, and it’s shock passed from it to me. It stretched out, became a grove, then a forest. It surrounded me, enveloped me.
“YOU DO!” The excitement in the voice shook me. Then confusion and surprise came over the voice. “THIS IS NOT YOUR FIRST TIME INBETWEEN. YOU HAVE TRAVELLED FAR FOR THOSE SO SMALL. HOW IS IT YOU HAVE LOST YOUR WAY?”
Speaking, for lack of a better word, was easier now. “Didn’t want to leave. Need to go back.”
“GOING BACK IS SIMPLE, LITTLE ONES. GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT.”
The light. The sound of crying still came from beyond. The sound of it hurt me, made me want to do something, anything, to make them not cry anymore. I tried to move towards it, but it was like I was made from lead. The presence shifted, and a path opened, leading towards the light. I moved, fast. The light grew brighter as I got nearer. I passed through the light, and was blinded by it.
Darkness. Cold. No light in the distance. A burning, in my chest. A voice, next to me, saying “Wake up, please.” My chest felt like it was on fire. I breathed deeply, and felt something lift off my chest. I opened my eyes, and saw Twilight laying next to me, staring at me. Her eyes were full of tears, and her face was wet. Some of it was red, some blue. I laid a hand on her back and used it to help me sit up. Moving sent flashes of pain throughout my body. I hurt everywhere, though my arm and side hurt the worst.
Twilight hugged me. I clenched my jaw to stop myself from screaming and hugged her back with my working arm. She let me go, fresh tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.
“Oh, Michael, I thought, I was so worried, I, I,” she managed to say, before crying again and hitting me with another hug. I sucked in a pained breath and she let me go and started babbling again. I ran my fingers through her mane and shushed her until she calmed down. It took a few minutes, but I didn’t mind. I was pretty sure I was in shock, so I didn’t hurt too much. I made sure she was okay before trying to stand. Twilight helped me to my feet - she had to use magic to do it - and I looked around.
“Where’s Rainbow Dash?” I asked.
“She went to bring the others back, now the Ursa is…” she said, trailing off at the end as she looked over to the corpse not five feet from us. Thats going to be a bitch to move.
“Sword?” I asked, looking at my injured arm. Twilight didn’t know any healing spells, so I was going to have to do something about it. I’d need to fix that, get her some medical training. And combat training, but healing spells would be more useful. And it’d keep her away from any fighting for the most part.
Twilight levitated my sword from somewhere, and planted it point down in the dirt next to me. I smiled and nodded at her, before looking back at my arm. It hung limply. I could move it, if I really tried, but it hurt. A lot. Dislocated, I think. Lifting my sword with my good hand, I put it up. “Can you teleport us to the hospital?” I asked Twilight. She nodded, and then light was everywhere.
When it was gone, we were standing in the hospital’s reception. My ears rang from the boom of displaced air. I looked behind the front desk for a map or something, but came up blank. Twilight didn’t really know her way around here either. I needed anesthetic of some sort, clean bandages, antiseptic, probably a needle and thread, though a fire and some iron would do in a pinch. I searched the patient rooms, and managed to find most of what I needed. The only pain killer I could find was a fairly weak one, made from willow bark I think. I asked Twilight if she could go look for something stronger, and to keep an eye out for returning ponies.
I took a handful of the pain killers, and waited for them to kick in. It took about five minutes. I was still in a fair amount of pain, but it was more manageable. Taking a bit of clean bandage, I wadded it up and bit down on it. I took a few deep breaths to brace myself for what was going to happen next. Using my good arm, I lifted my injured arm up and forced the joint back into the socket. I couldn’t stop myself from screaming, which is why the bandages. Also stopped me from chewing on my tongue some more. The pain went from torturous to a bearable agony after a few minutes.
I used those few minutes to think about what had happened after I had collapsed. It was pretty likely to just be a hallucination, but there was always the chance it might not be. I had been called ‘Traveller’ by the presence. No, ‘Travellers’. Plural. That bore some investigation. So did the words ‘Heartland’ and ‘Inbetween’. The Heartland seemed to be Equestria, or Equus, but what was the ‘Inbetween’? And what was it inbetween? And what had it meant, that was not my first time there? Maybe what Lexavarone had done? Or… Twilight. I’ll have to tell Twilight. Luna? Can’t hurt. She seems to be on my side. Celestia? Only if Luna thinks I should.
I sat up, tried to move my arm. It still hurt, but not as much. I’d need to get it looked at properly, but it’d do for now. I took care of my other injured, starting with the one on my side. When they were all cleaned, and bandaged if needed, I was starting to hear hoofsteps outside the hospital. I got shakily to my feet and went outside. The Ursa’s corpse wasn’t far from the hospital, and a lot of ponies were staring at it. Fluttershy was one of them. They all turned to face me when I got out the hospital. I hoped, for her sake, that Fluttershy didn’t get pissed about the Ursa. I wasn’t in the mood for her shit right now.
She flew over to me, and looked about to start, but something in the way I looked at her stopped her. Or it could be the fact I was still covered in a fair amount of blood. I went to the Library, where I found Twilight, along with Spike and some other ponies. I mumbled some greetings as I made my way to the shower. After, when I was clean and feeling much, much better, I put my armour on. Not all of it, I left off the smaller parts. They were too much of a pain to put on most of the time. I didn’t even need most of them, but they were bigger in pony armour sets, so I had them. I lifted a knife from my set, and made a mental note to get Spike his back. And I’d need a new crossbow as well.
When fully armed and armoured, I went back into the main section of the library. Twilight and Spike were talking to the Mayor, and some other officials. They looked to me when I entered.
“Are you okay, Michael?” Twilight asked. The amount of concern in her voice made me decide against just claiming to be fine. It would just make her worry more at this point.
“I’ve been worse. Probably need to go see Fluttershy, unless you feel up to teleporting me to Canterlot.” She shook her head. It wasn’t that Canterlot was far away, at least not to Twilight, but that the elevation changed a lot in the mountain city. You needed good aim to not become part of a wall. We saw that happen, once. Twilight was inconsolable for days. Almost refused to learn to teleport because of it. She still preferred to avoid it where possible, for anything more than short distances, at which point its easier just to walk.
“Why not go see a doctor, Captain?” the Mayor asked.
“Because doctors here treat ponies, and only ponies. I am not a pony. I’d be better off with a vet,” I explained as I walked to the door. I gave Twilight a smile I didn’t feel as I passed her. It seemed to make her feel better.
Outside, most ponies were still staring at the Ursa’s corpse. I saw Rainbow Dash and Applejack talking. Well, Rainbow Dash was talking, Applejack was listening. I walked over to them. Pinkie Pie joined me somewhere along the way.
“You seen Fluttershy?” I asked her.
She bounced along for a few seconds, a serious expression on her face. “Nope, not since we got back. But, given what happened here, she’s probably in her cottage, crying.”
I grunted in response, but was otherwise silent. When we got closer, Pinkie Pie greeted the two mares, who gave ‘hellos’ back.
“Hey, Applejack, how much for that cart of yours?” I asked the farmpony.
“Ya don’t need t’ pay me if ya wanna borrow the cart, sugarcube. Just bring it back quick, s’all I ask. What’re ya wantin’ it for, anyhow?”
“Need to move that,” I said, waving in the Ursa’s direction. “I don’t think you’ll want the cart back after that.”
She looked at the body, and nodded. “Yeah, I don’t think I’d be able to sell apples that’d been in the same cart as that.” She gave me a price, and I gave her money. I could pick the cart up whenever. “I’ll need to borrow your brother as well.”
She pointed me towards him. We talked, and he agreed to help me bring the cart down, load the body in it, and take it to the Everfree. Three quarters of an hour later, and we were well on the way to the Everfree Forest. Macintosh was doing most of the pulling. I did help, but he was honestly strong enough he didn’t need it. We were both quiet until we got out of Ponyville. It was Big Mac that broke the silence.
“So, you and Miss Twilight. You’ve been friends for a long time?” He had the same drawl as Applejack, but his accent wasn’t as pronounced.
“Ten years, give or take,” I replied.
He nodded, then frowned. “AJ said you’ve only been in Equestria for about that long. And that you’re about the same age as her.” He looked at me, and I waved him on. “She also said it was Miss Twilight that brought you here.” I nodded, waiting for the accusation that always came next. “She must be pretty special if you stuck by her after that.” I blinked, and almost stumbled over a tree root, barely stepping over it.
“Here’ll do, Macintosh,” I said. We were maybe ten minutes walk in the forest for someone not pulling a cart, or just ten minutes walk for Macintosh, cart or no. He unhitched himself, and nodded at me.
“Tell Miss Twilight hello from me,” he said, before leaving. I grunted, staring at the Ursa’s corpse. When Macintosh’s hoofsteps faded away, I drew a dagger and started thinking. Skinning. Leather. A dozen different variations on each.
There had to be some sort of reason for gaining the knowledge I did. As far as I could tell, it was all information I’d tried to find out at one point and couldn’t. But goddamn it, the one time I tried to get something I could use, it decided to hide - hide, tanned animal skin, tanning, skinning. A flurry of information, and not a single second of dizziness. Just a brief surge of adrenaline, fear and anticipation.
I lifted the dagger, grinning, and set to work. It took me awhile to get the hang of it, but there was a lot of bear to practice on. When I stopped an hour or two later - I couldn’t see the moon through the trees - I had a decent amount of Ursa hide. Now came the hard part, tanning it. I would need tanin. Zecora should know where to get that. Hell, I could probably get a some from her.
I gathered my soon-to-be armour, and started to leave. But I stopped, and looked back at the mess I’d made of the Ursa. It had looked like it was made of stars. What would it taste like? So, I put down my armour, started a small fire and cut a bit off. I let it roast a good long while, longer than it probably needed, and ate a bite.
It was glorious. It was the greatest thing I have ever eaten. I don’t know if it was just Ursa that tasted so good, or meat in general, but god damn. I was on my third serving when Fluttershy found me. She was startled at first, and went pale really fast, but she didn’t faint or run off screaming like I’d thought she would when I first saw her. I did have my teeth in a particularly juicy mouthful, but she seemed, not okay with it, but able to put up with it.
I swallowed the bite I’d just taken and nodded at her. “Fluttershy.”
“H-hello, M-michael,” she replied. Her soft voice seemed to suit the forest. “I hope I’m n-not interrupting.”
“No, not at all, just having a bite to eat,” I said, taking one. “What brings you out here?”
“T-twilight and Rainbow Dash s-said you were l-looking for me and Big Mac said you were… Could you please not eat it while I’m talking to you?” she asked, looking close to tears. “I mean, I don’t mind that you eat m-meat, but I’d prefer if you didn’t while we were t-talking.”
“Oh. Sorry. Just don’t want to let it get cold,” I said, finishing it off. “So, what do you want to talk about?”
“You cook your meat?” She seemed genuinely interested. I guess she liked animals, and I was an animal she didn’t know about.
“Yeah. Couldn’t explain how it came around, over than it tastes better,” I said, shrugging. Moving my shoulder was a bad idea. I let out a little gasp.
“Is your shoulder sour?” Fluttershy asked, floating over. She was hovering, but she moved her wings about a tenth the speed Rainbow Dash moved hers, making it seem like she floated. I don’t even know how many laws of physics that violated.
“Yeah. It dislocated when Rainbow Dash threw me at the Ursa. I popped it back in, but I guess that some damage was already done. Mind giving me a once over?” I asked her. “To see if I missed anything?”
I lifted off the armour, and took of the clothes I wore under it. Fluttershy gasped when she saw the scars. A bit of an overreaction, if you ask me. Sure, I had a fair number. I mean, even magic can only do so much, and it was a few years before I was willing to be in the same room with someone who wasn’t Twilight and was doing magic. Most of them were old, barely raised ridges of pale white that had been carved into me by some idiot who thought they could hurt Twilight. Some of them I had from Before. Others were more recent, thought here, more recent meant I’d gotten it more than two years ago. The new wound in my side would probably end up a scar, though.
Fluttershy gave me a once over, checking all my injuries old or new. She told me to do some exercises, showed me how to do them, and told me to let her know if it got really sore during them. Said she’d visit in about ten weeks, see how I was doing. I mentioned I’d be back in Canterlot, and she said she’d just have to come visit me there. Quietly, of course, and with a small smile. I gave her a quick smile back, that grew as an idea struck me.
“Fluttershy, you help all sorts of animals, right?” I asked her, standing up.
“I do,” she replied, a little confused. I think I was getting better at reading ponies, because I actually noticed her ears moving without reminding myself to check.
“You need meat for the carnivores?” I asked, gesturing towards the remains of the Ursa.
She looked at the thing, head tilted to one side, then slowly nodded. “That would be nice.”
So we struck a deal, I’d get the remains back to her cottage and help her store them away, and in return she’d keep some for me. I spent a while cutting out bones and the like and putting them to one side, then getting everything on the cart. Fluttershy pointed me in the direction of her place, and off we went.
It took two thirds of an hour to get there, spent in silence unless Fluttershy spotted a rare animal she wanted me to see. That happened twice, though I don’t think either of them looked all that remarkable.
Fluttershy’s cottage was, to use her word for it, ‘nice’. It reminded me of a hobbit hole, of sorts. For a second, I thought that was more information brought by whatever that damnable dragon had done to me, but I couldn’t tell. I didn’t remember having seen or read anything about hobbits, but there was none of the dizziness that I used to get, or the emotions I seem to get now.
She pointed me to a shed, where she stored the food for the animals. It had a fair sized ice box that she used for meat. Apparently, some of the smarter carnivores brought her things to put inside it on occasion, though they never brought anything intelligent, I guess out of respect for Fluttershy.
It was late at night by the time I was done. So late it was basically tomorrow. Fluttershy had nodded off while I was still moving the bones. I lifted her into her house. I cleaned the blood off me first, though. A little rabbit woke up when I entered, gave me a look that tried to say ‘I could kick your ass if I wanted, it’d just be too much hassle’ and bounced off. I put Fluttershy on her couch and left.
Twilight and Spike were asleep when I got back to Ponyville. Probably wouldn’t be up until almost noon. Everything would be starting later tomorrow, I suspected. I went through the library, dropped the leather in the basement. Heading to the balcony, I climbed up onto the branches, going up and out until I had a clear view of the sky.
I’d tell Twilight in the morning, and have Spike send a letter after. I should probably check if Luna replied to the one about the Ursa, see what she said about it. I decided against it. If it had been important, Spike would have told me earlier. I laid back against the tree trunk, thinking. I hadn’t been able to do the shifting thing again, but there had been sounds playing in my head almost constantly. Sometimes it was voices, sometimes it wasn’t. At night, it was usually music. I was thankful for that; it made the nights in Ponyville easier. I closed my eyes and listened.
Lie on my back, clouds are making way for me
I’m coming home, sweet, home
I see your star, you left it burning for me
“Are you okay?”
I looked down, saw Twilight and Pinkie Pie. I rolled off the branch, landed with a spray of dust. I was surprised to see Twilight awake, she had been asleep when I got back - a glance skywards. Huh. The sun was coming up. It had been an hour or so. It felt like minutes.
“Michael,” Pinkie Pie began, “are you happy?”
What? “Of course I am, Pinkie Pie. What made you think I wasn’t?”
“That song you were singing. It was so sad, and you looked so sad while you were singing, and singings supposed to make you happy, so when you didn’t look happy I thought that, maybe, you weren’t.” All that was said at roughly twice the speed of sound, so it took me a second to sort out the order the words came in in my head. I glanced at Twilight, who was looking at me quietly, chewing on her bottom lip. She was worried about something.
“I’m fine, Pinkie Pie. Really. I didn’t even realise I was singing.”
She nodded, but slowly, like she didn’t believe me.
“Michael,” Twilight said. I turned to look at her, and she was giving me her puppy dog eyes. “Could you sing it again?”
I did, of course. It was Twilight asking, what else was I supposed to do? I sat down, leaning against the tree and sang her the whole song. It felt oddly familiar, but different at the same time, like the time I came back from the hospital to find Twilight had painted everything various shades of orange.
Twilight and Pinkie Pie sat down as I sang, and by the end of it they were both misty eyed. I didn’t get why, as it only sounded a bit sad, while the words were hopeful, until I realised it was in English, not Equestrian. They only had the sound to go from. And songs are much more important to ponies than I remember them being Back There.
With that in mind, I ran my fingers through Twilight’s mane before giving her a short, one-armed hug. Pinkie Pie looked vaguely expectant. “It’s not as sad as it sounds, Twilight.”
She gave a sad little sniff. “You understand the words?” she asked. She was moving from sad to curious, and a curious Twilight was a happy Twilight.
I nodded. “It’s in English, the language I spoke when I arrived here.”
“Could you teach me how to speak it?” she asked, sitting up straighter.
“Doubt it,” I said, scratching my chin. I needed to shave. Do that later. “I’m only here for another month, and I guess we could start, but it would take longer than that. English doesn’t seem to follow many rules, if any, so I’d need to be there pretty much all the time.”
“We could do it by letter,” Twilight pointed out. I shook my head.
“Your pronunciation will suffer. Letters change their sound based on other letters, and sometimes just because.”
Twilight stomped a hoof. “Then I’ll just have to come to Canterlot to learn, won’t I?”
I smiled. “That works for me. Let me know a day or two in advance.”
She grinned back. “Can we start now?”
“In the morning. You need to sleep.” She tried to deny being tired, but ruined it by yawning. God, she hadn’t done that after her first few months as Celestia’s student. She decided she was, in fact, tired, and went to bed. I told her we’d start around noon, and bade her goodnight. That left me and Pinkie Pie. She tried to get a conversation going, but we were both pretty distracted. She left a bit before dawn. I went back up into the branches of the library and spent the night there. I managed a couple hours sleep, waking up with the sun already its own width over the horizon.
I climbed down and walked through the library, heading into Ponyville. I needed to stretch my legs. My walk took my into the Everfree, heading towards Zecora’s. I still needed some fix up the leather, and she might know where I could get some tannin. She didn’t, but she did remind me a spell probably existed that would do the same thing. Somehow, I often forgot about magic. Not as much as Twilight did, as odd as that may be, but too often.
I checked Twilight’s spell books, but couldn’t find anything that looked promising. The problem was not knowing what exactly I was looking for. I really just knew the end result, not the process.
Well, not entirely true. I knew the process, somehow. The skin was cured, to prevent it rotting, then cleaned of salt. Then, everything but skin is removed. Then the hide is treated so it can be worked. This would probably be easier in Canterlot, now that I think about it. I’d have more merchants, and less prying eyes, at least prying eyes whose opinion I cared about. Hell, I could probably pay some griffons to do it for me. That would be much easier. I had a month left in Ponyville, though, and didn’t know if the leather would keep that long. I’d need some salt, to dry it out and stop it rotting.
Salt is too easy to get in Equestria. For the amount of trouble it brings me, salt should be regulated, but nope, only slightly harder to get than chocolate. You need to be sixteen to buy it, the same age you need to be to join the Guard, but it causes so much trouble. The fact its fairly expensive might make it better, or worse, depending on your opinion. Better, because its harder to get, worse, because you know they’re only doing that because they know they have a captive audience, so to speak.
Anyway, I went to the one bar in Ponyville - a bar in Equestria being a place that sells salt and salt heavy food and drink, not alcohol. Not knowing how much I’d need, I got a barrel big enough to fit the Ursa hide in and then some, and had it filled halfway with salt. The bartender looked at me like I was crazy when I said how much I wanted, but he gave me it. Said it was the least he could do for the ‘thing’ that saved Ponyville.
Back at the library, I packed the hide in the barrel, separating the layers with salt. That done, I nailed it shut, not wanting anyone to open it and find an approximate shit-ton of salt. I’d check on it every week or so.
Later that day, when Twilight woke up, I told her what I’d seen after fighting the Ursa. She was skeptical, but felt we should tell Celestia just in case. I managed to talk her into not doing that, saying we could tell Luna who, as Princess of the Night, would know more about dreams. Luna could tell Celestia if it was important for her to know. I told her about the barrel, but not what was in it. Twilight was not a fan of salt. She’d seen what it could do to ponies. Canterlot was not as clean as the upper classes wished it was.
Rainbow Dash and Spike came to me around noon, asking to spar and train with me, respectively. I set Spike up with some exercises that I thought would help him out, but he wouldn’t get much bigger if he didn’t start eating meat. Me and Rainbow Dash sparred for a bit before she told me to stop going easy on her.
“We’re not actually trying to hurt each other,” I told her. “Of course I’m going easy on you.”
“Look, just one fight with you going full out, okay? Thats all I ask. I just want to know how good I am.”
I refused, but she wouldn’t let up. She started promising all manner of favours, things she would get me, show me or do for me, if only I would do this for her. I refused. She didn’t stop. Her voice was starting to get on my nerves. I told her that if she wasn’t interested in sparring right now, I had things to do, and turned to leave. She hit me from behind.
I landed hard, had the wind knocked out of me. When I got to me feet, she flew at me again. I barely sidestepped, turning as she flew past me. She flashed past me, turned on a bit and got a fist to the face. I grabbed the back of her head, stepped forward, punched her in the ribs once, twice. She stopped flapping her wings, her body focussing on breathing. Grabbing a handful of fur, I pulled, bringing her down until I could get a hand on her back to force her to the ground. She hit with a gasp, legs and wings spread out. I placed a foot on her wing, not hard, but with enough pressure for her to know it was there. She went from groggy to scared in an instant, her head snapping upwards, eyes locked on mine.
“You lose.”
After a second, I took my foot off and walked away. I spent the next few hours with Zecora. I think I’ve mentioned before she was an alchemist. She was eager to have a student, someone to pass all the knowledge she had gained and to help her in the Everfree, and I could really use something to do, so I asked her to teach me, and she agreed. I went at it with a vigor I’d learned from Twilight, which seemed to surprise the zebra. But she got over it quickly, and soon enough we had covered the basics and were well into more advanced techniques.
Before I left that afternoon to let her work on some delicate compounds without my taking up space, I mentioned that Twilight would be happy to learn as well, after I’d left. Zecora said she’d think about it.
Later, as I was helping Twilight with her most recent experiment in the library, something to with some incredibly advanced magic I didn’t really understand, I told her Zecora might be willing to teach her alchemy. She got excited, and almost dropped the thing she had been studying. I told her not to bother Zecora, and to let her think about it.
Fluttershy visited in the evening, to check my shoulder and talk to Twilight about something. She told me to continue with the exercises, and that it already seemed better before I was kindly and politely kicked from the room.
That became my routine for the week. I trained with Spike in the morning, learned from Zecora in the afternoon and helped Twilight in the evening. But the night’s were getting longer and longer, with ponies going to sleep earlier because of it.
Luna visited towards the end of the week. To check up on me, supposedly. Just because I like her more than Celestia doesn’t mean I trust her. She arrived in a flash of deep blue light and a sound like time dying.
“How is he?” she asked Twilight. She wasn’t one to beat around the bush. I liked that about her. Celestia always took her time getting to the point.
Twilight glanced at me, which made Luna tut. “Leave us,” she said to me. Twilight gave me a little smile, so I got up and left. If it made it easier for her, I didn’t mind.
I wandered around for an hour, figuring that’d be enough time for them to chat. Around the ten minute mark I was mugged by a trio of fillies. It was Applejack’s little sister Apple Bloom and her two friends, Sweetie Somethingorother and Scootaloo. Belle. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. They wanted to know how I got my cutie mark. Damn near had a fit when I told them I didn’t have one. They then decided I was a ‘Cutie Mark Crusader’, whatever that is, and ran off, talking about capes.
I managed to finish my walk without further incident, apart from one of the mares that sells flowers in the central square seeing me and screaming. They’re names are Lily, Rose and Daisy, though I don’t know which is which. Anyway, one of them always does that. They don’t seem malicious, and I doubt they enjoy it, I honestly think they’re just that cowardly. I helped her up from where she had collapsed in the dirt. Daisy, I think it was. She thanked me, and promised, again, to try and not panic everytime she sees me. I smiled without thinking, and she flinched slightly. I doubt she noticed doing it. For her, it was just a reaction to seeing a meat-eaters teeth.
By the time I got back to the library, Twilight and Luna had finished talking about me, and had moved on to other, more interesting topics. When I entered, they were talking about Silver Song’s Sequential Susurrus, some sort of magical technique I think. Closing the door behind me, I looked at Luna.
“Well?”
“Have you noticed any changes in yourself?” Luna asked.
I thought about it for a few minutes. “I’m happier. Not a lot, but it’s there. I also don’t get angry as easily.”
“Thats a good thing, right?” Twilight asked. Then she saw me shaking my head and Luna frowning. Ears twitching slightly, she asked, “How could you being happier and less angry not be good?”
“There are a few reasons, Twilight Sparkle. First and foremost is the possibility that his brightened mood is not the only change, merely the only one we have noticed. Indeed, it could be the one we are meant to notice,” Luna said, her frown deepening. “In which case, there are most likely other changes as well. Second, if it makes him happier, but has another, minor effect, it is possible he would object to it’s removal.”
Those were some good points, and I could see Twilight understood where Luna was coming from, but she had missed the most important one. These were not my emotions I was feeling. They’re forced on me. I don’t think Twilight would understand that, or even see why it mattered. Luna understood, of course. She’d been on this side before.
Luna scanned me with her magic, and again found nothing that shouldn’t be there, based on the bi-annual check ups I get. While she did that, I did some thinking. Twilight might have a point. Could I really complain about it, if all I got from it were benefits? Wasn’t being happier worth the small downside? I squashed those thoughts the moment they appeared. Using magic to change someones mind was one of the worst crimes a unicorn could commit in Equestria. I’ve seen the aftermath of it. Poor bastard needed help eating afterwards. I couldn’t trust those thoughts, not if someone had been messing around inside my head. It was a frightening moment when I realised I couldn’t trust myself anymore.