With a Heavy Heart

by Krypqe


Mechanisms

Rainbow felt pain, coursing through her body. Only aching within her legs and
wings, it was mainly concentrated upon her head. It was as if somepony
had tried to dig into her brain. Even if it wasn’t so; it still felt
that way.

As much as Rainbow tried to shut it out, she could see the warm light
through her eyelids; there was no way she could pretend it was still
night. As much as she respected Princess Celestia, Rainbow wished she
hadn’t brought the day about so soon.

Rainbow hauled her eyelids open, tentatively, easing her eyes into the bright
morning light. She looked over at the open window, and watched the
piercing sunlight, reflecting off of flecks of dust, swirling around,
forming dappled, complex patterns, seemingly restless.

The ground was hard against Rainbow’s hindquarters, as she sat up, trying
to shrug the aches off of her back. She stretched her back out, fore
hooves reaching up to the clouds. Or rather, the ceiling.

Rainbow felt dizzy, for a moment, her vision slowly, but only partially leaving her for a second. Her home was made of clouds, not ceilings, windows and hard, wooden floors… Where was she?

She looked around slowly, being kind to her over-sensitive eyes. The
floorboards looked rough, untreated. Rainbow swept her hoof across them;
they felt rough, yet worn; devoid of splinters.

The walls were also wooden, but seemed more reassuringly smooth, but
Rainbow supposed that it could have just been to do with the fact that
the walls were just further away than the floor, but she decided to stop thinking of further complexities; it was the morning, after all.

Rainbow stretched her forelegs out once more, and decided to brave standing up.
She grudgingly lifted her body off of the ground, and whilst arching
her back, she spread her wings out, extending from tip to tip, cutting
through the dust-laden air. Slowly, wings folding away, she clopped
towards the window, the window with apple-print curtains.
Rainbow realised where she was, moments before the view of the Sweet Apple
Acres’ apple orchard came into view. She’d spent the night at Applejack’s…

“Oh, Celestia…” Rainbow groaned, “What did you do last night, Dash?”

Rainbow stood there, for a while, letting the tiniest of breezes wash over her,
airing her stale, matted mane. Rainbow was clearing her thoughts, or
attempting to, at least. She let a groan out into the quiet voice of the
wind.

‘I think I just need to go…’
Rainbow thought. It wasn’t an easy decision to make, after all, things
with Applejack were tenuous at best, and whatever had happened last
night, well, it probably didn’t help their relations all that much at all. Although she wouldn’t admit it, Rainbow knew all too well what she was like after a few drinks…

Things would probably be better after she’d mulled them over a bit, and Rainbow really didn’t want to drum up any awkward conversation between herself and Applejack; she had problem enough thinking about that sort of stuff, let alone talking.

Rainbow pushed against the window’s frame, exposing herself to the fullness of
the farm’s calm breeze. It came with a slight fragrance of apple,
reminiscent of days long past, napping in trees, casual chats about
nothing with Applejack, thinking to the future. It’d been a while since
one of those chats; they’d stopped as soon as Rainbow had deemed them ‘Too embarrassing…” And yet, what’d they replaced these times with?
Stunted, difficult words, exchanged in fleeted meetings. Just because of one night.

Maybe that was one other thing Rainbow couldn’t control: Friendship.

Rainbow moved her fore hooves up onto the windowsill, ready to take off, out of
the window, but the papery feel beneath her right hoof made her think
otherwise. She looked down at the paper, and lifted her hoof up. Folded,
it was adorned with ‘Dash’, in scruffy, yet attemptedly careful
writing.

Rainbow felt her stomach twist, she knew whose hoofwriting this was, and with
what premise it was probably written after, yet still, she unfolded the
letter as quickly as possible. After all, Rainbow couldn’t bear to not
know.

Dash,

I knew you’d try to climb out the window, and pretend like nothing
happened, but I’m hoping a loyal pony like yourself would realise that
their friend needs them, and change their mind?
We really need to talk, but y’know, like a proper talk. Not an ‘It’s 3AM,
I’m really drunk and decided to break into Applejack’s bedroom’ talk.
I’ll be out applebucking; I’m on a tight schedule, but come and talk to me. I can always take time out to see you.

You really did say do some interesting things last night.

-That ‘Other’ Filly

(Thanks for the new nickname, by the way…)


“Oh, Celestia.”

If there wasn’t such a cooling breeze, Rainbow would’ve probably burned up and melted, right on the spot.



*****


“…light?”

“Twilight?”

“Twilight?”

On the uncouth awakening of having her own name shouted in her ear, it was
obvious Twilight was going to be unhappy, but surprisingly, that wasn’t
what had garnered the most of her early-morning contempt. What had been
bestowed with that award was, in fact, the overall wet, ice-cold
feeling that surrounded her body.

“Twilight, why were you sleeping in the bathtub?”

Without opening her eyes, Twilight responded, groggily.

“Don’t be silly, Spike, I’m just a bit cold, that’s all. Now, if you just pass me my blanket, I’m going to go back to sleep… I don’t feel too good.”

“Uhh, Twi’? Don’t go all ‘Pinkie Pie’ on me; you’re definitely in the bathtub.”

Twilight opened her eyes, and was met with a slightly pink-stained white, taking up her peripheries.

“Ah.”

“You see, Twilight?”

Twilight was most definitely in the bathtub, she knew that much. However,
further from that, she knew nothing. She remembered walking home, after a
night out with Rainbow Dash, and then…

“Oh...”

“Twilight, are you okay?”

The pony braced herself, and then put what seemed like far, far
too much effort into lifting her body out of the chilled, pink-y
concoction. Although despising the effort put into the task of standing
up, Twilight still took it upon herself to shake the blood infused water
across the bathroom, and across her assistant, Spike.

“Ugh, Twilight! You’ve been soaking in that! I don’t want it on me!”

Nevertheless, Twilight, now dry, wasn’t really fussed about her assistant’s wellbeing. She had other things on her mind, other fillies…

“Oh, Rainbow…”

“Twilight, you mean Spike, right?”

Twilight felt a light blush across herself; she hadn’t said that out loud, had she?

“Yes, Spike.”
Twilight tried to speak with an air of authority, but her voice was
failing, under assault from the memories from the previous night. Well,
the ones she could still remember.

Twilight stepped out of the bathtub, onto the well-streaked tiles of the floor.

“Spike, you know how you’re my number one assistant?”

Spike groaned; he knew what was coming next.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll clean the bathroom for you.”

Twilight could hear the dejectedness in Spike’s voice, but she wasn’t too
fussed, she knew he’d bounce back. After all, he really was a fantastic
assistant.

“Thanks Spike!”

Twilight spun around on the spot, turning to face the doorway. As she lifted her
hooves, she left pale red marks upon the tiles, adding colour to the
once labyrinthine lines traced, the night before.

Twilight could think clearly, now. There was colour to her thoughts, and colour on her mind.

As she walked out into the library, everything looked a little brighter.
The shelves, once imposing, stifling the library with their books, no
longer seemed to oppress, to demand silence. Now, they stood for
possibilities, for opportunities, each one different. However, none of
the hundreds of possibilities that surrounded Twilight could have been
anywhere near negative.
Life was just too fantastic.

As a breeze swept in, through an open window, Twilight thought to herself; about friends, about friendship, about Rainbow Dash.

She wondered, ‘All this time, I’ve been studying friendship, and nothing has ever felt quite this fantastic. Is this true friendship?’

Even though Rainbow had left her during the night, Twilight was sure she’d
had an important reason, after all, she was the most loyal pony in all
of Equestria, and more importantly; she was her friend, and Twilight believed in her.

“Rainbow, I just can’t wait to see you; we have so much to talk about…”



*****


The view across the apple orchard was beautiful, from on top of Bloomberg’s
old hill. It was good for thinking, and for reminiscing, after all, it
held a lot of memories, for Applejack, at least.

Lost in the scent of freshly bucked trees, and their bruised bark,
Applejack’s mind began to drift, to the thoughts that lay within her.
They’d happened so long ago, and yet, they seemed so vivid; almost
pelt-deep.

Even though Granny Smith had told her otherwise, so many times, she’d taken
shelter under Bloomberg, during a sudden thunderstorm. It was odd;
getting caught in such rainstorms was commonplace, for somepony that
works on a farm, but for some reason, Applejack felt bothered by it.

She still wasn’t sure why, despite the amount of times she’d been through
the events in her head. In the end, it didn’t really matter, these
things weren’t really the reason Applejack constantly replayed these
memories.

It was: when a dripping wet rainbow fell from the skies, streaked with tears, shaking, sobbing.


Applejack had said nothing to the poor filly; they just sat, in a
trembling, yet compassionate embrace, nuzzling, tears soaking into her
back. It was Dash who’d done the talking, but it was nothing like Dash’s
usual, cocky speech. It was so very real.

Real problems, real thoughts, real feelings.

Applejack had been fine, up until that point. She liked that Dash could trust
her, depend on her, after all the years of their banter-esqe
relationship. She’d finally opened up,
and Applejack was glad for that. Of all ponies, Applejack knew better
than to handle things by herself, but there was no telling Dash that. It
was a good thing she’d come to that conclusion herself.

Still, as strong as Applejack tried to be for Dash, the next thing she said had caught her off guard.

“Applejack…”

Even looking back on it, Applejack felt embarrassed. However, that feeling was always overwhelmed by another, every time.

“I think…”

Overwhelmed by confusion.

“I think I l…”

Confusion, tinged with sadness.

“Love you…”

Applejack felt the trio of emotions inundate her, as if she was reliving the memory, of that rainy eve, on Bloomberg’s hill.

“Why’d yew have ta go and puzzle me so, Dash? You toying with me or something?”

Applejack frowned through her sad, embarrassed confusion. One minute Dash was
fighting with her, over even the most trivial things, the next? Dash
would be on top of her, crying into her arms once more, as if they never
argued, as if all Applejack were was just a friendly face in the dark, somewhere to dump her emotions.

Applejack sighed, and thought to herself. ‘I guess that’s what y’all get for being the most dependable pony in Ponyville, huh?’



*****


Rainbow Dash didn’t feel like flying. Her heart wasn’t in it.

It was elsewhere, occupied, gone.
Rainbow Dash slowly trotted up in-between the rows of carefully planted
apple trees, towards where she thought it lay; in the hooves of that other filly, at the top of Bloomberg’s hill.

Rainbow shook her head, a desperate attempt to try to understand what was
happening. Everything she had, everything she’d made, albeit
accidentally, was falling apart.

It’d been fantastic, even if it had only been a choice few evenings, shrouded in rain, teary-eyed.

If only she had another reason to spend time like that with her. Nopony else could know, after all, Dash had to be cool.

Rainbow gulped, and continued her slow, pained walk, up to Bloomberg’s hill, two thoughts reverberating around her mind.

“What have I done?”



“Why do I have to be cool?”