"Sounds like we need to go grocery shopping... AGAIN." Natalie hissed in irritation, her eyes narrowed very low.

"Thank you, kind sir--err, stallion," Lance smiled as he paid the required bits for the following items per what was written on the grocery list:

Tuna
Mustard
Mayonnaise
Ketchup
Rice
Ranch dressing
Salad
Ravioli
Noodles of all kinds, if available
Salt and pepper
Herbs like sage, thyme, and other spices
Canola oil
Baking oil
Turkey, duck and chicken (we need a Turducken)
Whole potatoes with skin
Macaroni and cheese
Muffin and cake batter mix
Some items not meant for children's eyes or hands

They walked out the store with the items, which were immediately teleported to the mansion via inter-dimensional transportation. (Hey, who said Lance couldn't have his own pocket dimension?) As they were walking into the busy streets in an attempt to get home, a group of tribal-esque persons of young and old stopped them. From them stood out a really old woman, long grey hair concealing most of her body as she was hunched over a cane that had both hands resting on it. Her dim earthen eyes seemed to glare daggers at the family--as did the other tribal people's eyes.

Anna and Lance were bewildered and they smacked each other to make sure they weren't hearing nor seeing things. Returning their glance to the unmoving elder who only nodded with a look of disgust, they knew she wasn't kidding--especially considering she had backup.

"My name is Isabella." Sighed the crone, her expression of clear hate unwavering.

"Alright, Isabella," Lance started, each of his fingers on his right hand extended. As he spoke, he placed the left index finger on each right-hand finger, "First off, I tried destroying the world. Would someone like me really have the honor of converting to a religion of any given sort? Second, I battled two gods--three counting two separate avatars of one thereof--and beat them with two to three other people with the same goal. Then this demon came along and nearly destroyed the world, so he'd technically be a fourth god if anybody formed a cult and began worshiping him! Three, my momma ain't human and lastly, she's against organized religion for a flipping reason!"

"What is she?!" Demanded the whole tribe in unison, making Nick hide behind his mother.

Lance took out a cellphone and dialed some random numbers before holding it to his ear.

"A bunch of crazies. They demand to see you." Lance replied, holding out his other hand toward the tribe to make sure they didn't jump him. "Just use the teleporter to come to me, you won't believe what I am seeing at the moment."

Katie hung up and pretty soon she landed behind her son on all fours. She eyed the tribe and her face immediately went white.

"Its her!" Cried one muscular man who pointed the accusing finger at the fox. "It's her! The one who brought us grief!"

"She brought us trouble! She brought us the ruin of our humble village!" Isabella shrieked as she shambled to Lance in an effort to whack him with her cane.

"Halt!" Cried a group of male voices that sounded so similar they almost sounded like one.

Everyone looked around and saw a group of police ponies approach the tribe. Some human members were among the pony forces to deal with the big, buffed up aerobics instructor should he resist. Soon, the tribe, save Isabella, was overpowered and taken to the precinct.

"She will be dealt with," Anna sighed as she hugged her son, "It's gonna be OK."

Katie hefted the crone onto one shoulder and growled 'you owe us an explanation.'

"Why did you kill my father?" Lance demanded, arms crossed and glaring daggers at the elder. "Why did you take him away from me?"

"Answer me! Either that or go to prison!" Lance hissed, his eyes becoming a blazing red.

Matt, Natalie, and Anna kept to the darkness, their sets of blue and green eyes casting a glare that meant they wanted vengeance.

"I think you're 300 years old. You are so wrinkled a dirty rag looks prettier!" Matt called.

"You want a taste of my Pulsar?" Natalie bellowed, her voice echoing around the room.

"You...you're a witch!?" Isabella asked, pounding a wrinkled fist onto the chair's arm.

"For crying out loud! Answer him already!!" Anna screamed impatiently, an audible face-palm being heard shortly after.

"FINE!" Isabella screamed back accusingly before returning her gaze to Lance. "There was supposed to be a wedding between your father and his cousin. He liked her, and she complained about him. We told her to suck it up."

"Hush, mutt!" Isabella cried, "Anyway, his cousin disappeared for a day and returned suddenly. What's more, she liked her cousin all of a sudden. I thought it strange, but didn't say anything and neither did anybody else. They married and did something that resulted in this heathen being born. When we found out she....replaced the missing woman, that was when the whole hunt started. We called it the Hunt for the Doppelganger."

"What happened to the missing woman?!" Natalie yelled in disgust. She was already ticked.

"We found her... in a neighboring rival village married to some red-head warlock a few years later. We got rid of them both, only for their red-haired daughter to burn our village in a fit of false sorrow."

Natalie immediately stepped out into the light, her face fuming in fury. She grabbed the crone's hair and turn her face to meet her cold, blue eyes. "You...! You....! You.....you did that!"

Matt pulled the mage away from the elder, holding her under the arms. Natalie began screaming in a fit of rage and pain, shouting a lot of profanities to Isabella and calling her all sorts of names.

"Another man and woman--a set of siblings, mind you--also fled the village. We brought them, their spouses, and their children to be executed. One had green hair and the other a golden yellow. And that was when the brat proceeded to burn everything." Isabella answered. "After that, the Village of Greenwood took in the green-haired girl--who was holding a bundle at the time--and you and the other two were never seen by us again. Not once."

Two police ponies forced the crone to stand and they cuffed her before escorting her out of the interrogation room.

"Yeah. They were also what caused the meteorite to make Ashwood." Anna sighed in defeat, "They performed some ritual to stop Greenwood from growing or stopping their sick ways for that matter."

"Who wants to bet there's gonna be a court issue over this dilemma?" Matt cringed.

"Can't wait to see Celestia banish them to the stars for what they did. They're against any and all forms of deviant." Katie chimed in sorrow.

"Talk about another form of the Ku Klux Klan..." Lance said, shaking his head. "With voodoo magic no less."

Natale threw herself onto Blake and continued screaming into his chest. He hugged her before taking her upstairs into a guest room.

"Let's....give us all some time to come to terms with these....harsh truths. At any rate, it's better than seeing a Supernova." Coryza cooed. Everyone else nodded.

Alexis ran downstairs before jumping onto Matt. "Why's mommy crying?" She asked, thankfully unaware of the current situation at hand.

Schoolhouse Shenanigans!

by Dragonborne Fox

Chapter VII- An Old Hag