//------------------------------// // Very Difficult // Story: Prance Prance Revolution // by EpicGuy //------------------------------// WARNING: This chapter contains drunk Applejack, breaking of bottles and a lot of plots. And by a lot, I mean A LOT. Don't like plots? Don't read. "What do you think of that, Dashie?" Pinkie smirked. From behind her Celestia grasped her hoof in a coach outfit and lifted it for all to see. "We have a winner!" She announced in a southern accent. The gathered ponies cheered and wailed for the victorious pink pony, not even looking at the poor pegasus. The latter hung her head and put on her best pout face, her cyan feathers drooping heavily. Luna came up behind her protege and puffed out her royal chest. "HAVE NO FEAR, MY FEARLESS COMPANION, WE SHALL SURELY BE VICTORIOUS IN THE COMING SPONTANEOUS DANCE NUMBER!" She proclaimed in her amazing Canterlot Voice. Everypony in the crowd yelled as their ears flattened at the loud noise, and being so close to the princess Rainbow Dash felt her own ears pop and deafen. The Lunar princess smiled at her motivational speech and gladly stepped back with a smug look on her face. It was directed at her sister, so she returned the favor with a smug look of her own. "Well, dear sister, Pinkie Pie here has won. What is my reward?" Celestia asked, standing over her partner. Luna seemed taken aback by this and shook her head wildly. "No no no, you, dear sister, have got this propaganda in the wrong order! For Rainbow Dash has not done a form of dance for her own choice of music!" She retorted from the peanut gallery. Vinyl Scratch put herself between the bickering leaders. "Calm your horns, ladies! We'll settle this like sophisticated ponies, not neanderthals!" She huffed angrily and closed her eyes momentarily, sitting down on her striped tail. Even the princess' were silent at the DJ's words. Then her eyes popped open once more and in a flash she had a long-necked bottle of vodka and was upon the dancing machine. "We'll solve it with MOAR DANCING!" She cawed, rapidly going to Rainbow's selection while simultaneously taking a large swig of crystal-clear liquid. She bucked the select button with her hoof, keeping a firm grip on the bottle, then hopping away while the two friends wheeled from her sudden appearance. The mechanical voice started once more, now familiar to the assembled ponies. "Ready..." Way back in the crowd there was a happy yell and the dull thump of glass on a table. "Yeehaw! Go Pinka-whatsit!" Applejack swooned, still too dizzy to realize hat the next song was beginning. Applejack Daniels was smeared across her lips and her green eyes were incredibly derped. Rarity rammed into the earth pony with amazing force and knocked the drunken Applejack to the ground, where she rolled about happily in the drops which didn't make it into her mouth. "Quiet, drunkard!" Rarity screeched. "You're gonna mess up Pinkie!" With this she added a loud "WOO GO PINKIE PIE YOU GOT THIS GIRL!" Behind her Fluttershy squealed, and, very tired of the loud noises and clashing of voices the pegasus fled out the door. "Tell me when all the others leave!" She shouted as she exited. Twilight didn't take her eyes off the duo's shaking flanks that shuddered with every nervous breath they took. "Don't let the door hit your flank on the way out!" The unicorn added. "Set..." Rainbow Dash could hear her friends squabbling in the background. "Yeah, real supportive, guys!" The cyan pegasus tried to get herself heard over the growing volume of the crowd. Pinkie Pie, beside her, had swapped out her former sweatband for a new one, of a magenta and purple color combination. Celestia was behind her with a moist towelette in one telekinetic grip and Pinkie's soiled sweatband in the other. She was steadily wiping the towel around the earth pony's cheeks, flanks, and ears. "Now listen here, pipsqueak," she coached, "you can do this. That pile of Skittles over there ain't got a chance against your awesome moves." She magically conjured up a water bottle full of sugar water and dipped the straw into her athlete's mouth. Pinkie Pie caught her foe's glance and winked, sucking up the water like nopony's business. Rainbow Dash had become accustomed to the familiar silence that came before the command to dance. "This is your time to shine, Dashie." She murmured. She unfolded her wings and readied her muscles. "Dance!" The song started out slow, and Rainbow Dash had no problem getting into the smooth, silky rhythm and letting it cover her hooves like sleek sheets. Her hooves were swift, and she had no difficulty looking at Pinkie Pie from across the board. The pink mare was more accustomed to fast-paced songs with rough lyrics that whizzed by as quick as a Sonic Rainboom- she was struggling to keep her head above water and often getting "Horribles" on her side of the screen. "Gaah!" She cried out as her score dropped to a pitiful 10. Celestia held tight to the pole and the veins on her neck were popping out. "Don't let the score derail you, Pinkie!" She shouted. Pinkie Pie's score dropped five points. "Yeah, you're a lot of help Celestia!" She growled. The Solar princess winced. "At least I'm trying!" She pointed a hoof at her sister, who was cheering beside Rainbow's side. "Huzzah, we are victorious!" She bounced happily. Then the song began to speed up as it entered the rap area of said song. It sped up slightly, and on each of the rap parts in question were accented with arrows. Rainbow Dash, still "in the zone", hit them all without breaking a sweat. Next to her Pinkie Pie picked up speed slightly, thanks to the arrow increase, but still was a ways to go from her feathered friend. As of about a minute into the song Rainbow Dash stood tall at a mighty 1,001, and Pinkie steadily climbed the mountain that was the scoreboard at a good 500. In the background ponies began to sing the song, about half of them getting a little more than one third of the lyrics right. Applejack and picked herself up and wrapped a hoof around Rarity's shoulder, who glady accepted having drank a couple of martinis herself. "Ponies ponies ponies SWAG!" Applejack swooned, her breath hot and stinking of apples. Rarity let out a delicate laugh and joined in, along with Derpy who appeared out of nowhere. The three sung their little hearts out, getting a few mad yells from other ponies. Twilight, on the other hoof, still stood with her faithful camera aimed at the plots of Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. "Work with me, honey, work with me!" She cooed, zooming in on each of their sweating, shaking plots. "Beautiful, darling, wunderbar! Zis is magics, darlings!" She mimiced Photo Finish in her happiness at all the juicy footage she was getting. "Soo going on my blog." Scootaloo, positioned below the two, shook with excitement. "Soo awesome!" She squealed. Rainbow Dash smiled and kept getting "Awesomes" on every arrow she hit- which was all of them. Beside her Pinkie Pie struggled slightly, getting every once in a while a string of "Awesomes" that ended with a climax of "Horribles." Behind her, Luna still served as Rainbow's sole cheerleader, donning a cheerleader uniform and pom-poms decked out in rainbows. "Give thou a D! Give thou an A! Give thou a S! Give thou a H! What does thou spellith? Dash!" She yelled. Her alicorn sister sighed and shook her head at Luna's unforgettable dance routine that followed. There was no doubt in her mind- Rainbow Dash was going to win. She was too light on her hooves, too sucked into the song not to. Her pink friend was slwoly gaining speed on her and nipping at her heels, but not even karma could ruin her chances. The cocky pegasus decided to turn down the accuracy and yank on the skill, showing the crowd what she was really made of. She slowly began to unfurl her cyan wings. Pinkie Pie saw her friend out of the corner of her eye and couldn't help but look over to see what the buck she was doing. "What in the name of Equestria are you doing, Dashie?" She asked as Rainbow unfolded the last few feathers on her wings. The pony in question looked up from the screen and winked. "Just a little razzle-dazzle for the crowd, Pinkie." She crowed, beginning to- flap her wings? She was flapping her now open wings, first as if swimming through molasses but building up to the speed she would achieve as if she were really flying. Suprisingly she didn't fly into a wall or the machine, but the ponies behind her greatly appreciated the amazing wind she was making. Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes and focused all her energy on her wings and flapped faster. "Wowee, look at that pega-whatsit go!" Applejack commented. Rarity cocked her head and wiped the top of her forehead with the tip of her Pinkie shirt. "Oh my, so much plot!" She mused. Twilight let out a happy squee and zoomed in on Pinkie Pie's hardworking flank slightly, then on Rainbow's winged one. "Oh-la-la!" The unicorn swooned, practically falling over from how much amazing footage she would have. Scootaloo was having the same success as Twilight Sparkle, her head resting on the very top of Rainbow's board. Her flank in particular was moving the most, so Twilight had issued her an order to mostly record her. "Sweet, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom arn't gonna believe this!" Scootaloo exclaimed. Suddenly Rainbow Dash's plot displayed a swaying motion, in a hypnotizing fashion that wasn't short of awesome. Scootaloo's mouth dropped and she began to sway with her idol's plot. The sweat was blown in her face by Rainbow Dash's wings, and her eyes lit up with a newfound appreciation. "So... Awesome...." She said with a smile. The gust from Rainbow Dash picked up considerably, and soon (even though she was only flying in place) a translucent rainbow began to erupt from her tail. Some drunken ponies tried to eat it. Pinkie Pie was suprised, and she not to let her friend's strange phenomenon get the better of her. The pegasus was ahead by only a hundred points now, and with her doing some flying routine Pinkie could get the upper hand when it came to arrow-hitting. A long string of "Awesomes" lit up her side of the screen and the earth pony smiled. Victory was just in her grasp- or touch, or something else ponies can do without hands. On the other side of the dance floor Rainbow Dash now had not only a rainbow trailing her, but the air around her began to glow and turn a ghastly white. Her body began to fit into the tear in the atmosphere, her hooves creating a spark on the arrows because of her speed. Everypony was silent as the tear seemed to grow and Rainbow's entire body fit into the tear. Suddenly there was the crash of thunder and a flash of white, and everypony was thown back into the back wall. Pinkie Pie held on to the pole with all her might as her friend preformed a stationary Sonic Rainboom, but it was not enough and she hit the wall with a dull thump. Her coach Celestia was faring the same, the veins on her neck popping out and her eyes bloodshoot. "I... Can't... Handle.... It!!" She yelled as she let go and was catapulted backwards. Fate guided her straight into Pinkie's face, and the princess sighed in relief at how comfy her seat was. The machine creaked at the force of the wind and the rainbow colors were hard to distinguish from the screen's colors. Rainbow Dash stayed in this position for quite a while, her cheeks becoming lifeless flaps of fat. Her eyes were huge with excitement, and her hooves hit the arrows and caught fire (but quickly extinguished, much to the relief of Vinyl Scratch). Soon the song began to end, as did her majestic Sonic Rainboom, and the mare's rainbow sprouting from her plothole soon returned to its normal mane-form. After a moment of the song ending Rainbow Dash hit the board and opened her wings in victory. Luna (who somehow managed to defy gravity and stay in place), lifted her hoof high and cheered "Thou have a victor!" The ponies on the wall slowly fell off, one at a time. Celestia released her royal booty from Pinkie's face first, landing swiftly and taking her place by the board. Once everypony else had gotten off only a pink pancake had remained. Said pancake began to edge its way off the stone, then flutter softly to the floor where it expanded and morphed into the magenta mare we all know and love. Pinkie Pie kept her head low and sulked to her spot, where Rainbow's score had already appeared. "Ha! Who's the Queen of Dance now, Pinkie Pie?" Rainbow laughed as the earth pony took her board in silence. She dared to look up at Dashie's score, which was an infinity sign. The familiar sound effect sounded and Pinkie Pie waited for her score to appear. It was a sad-looking 9,999,999,999, not too shabby to some but downright horrible to her. Rainbow Dash did a little flip and yelled out her victory. Luna fluttered up to Celestia and stuck her face in her sister's. "Ha ha! What is thou reward for victory, dear sister?" Celestia narrowed her eyes and sighed. "If my memory is correct, this was a challenge of two songs. If one were to win one and the other to win the next, then Vinyl would choose a tiebreaker song. There's still a chance." She replied evenly. Her sister's eye twitched and she groaned in disappointment. "Fine. Thy fine Dee-jay, will thou do the honor of selecting a new song to shuffle our hooves to?" Vinyl Scratch appeared from the crowd, supported by a bright Bon Bon and a sleepy Lyra. "Daydream believer, I'm the, homecoming queen~" Lyra sung away. Bon Bon gave her friend a hard slap across the cheek. "Lyra, honey, we're supposed to be supporting Vinyl Scratch, not her supporting you." She said. "But its so much fun to sing! It makes you feel all happy and tingly inside!" Lyra pleaded. "Sing with me, honey! My little pony, my little pony-" Bon Bon dropped of Vinyl and lead her poor friend back to their table, where she gave her a stern talk about the importance of retaining your diginty in public, even when drunk. Vinyl Scratch used the metal pole for support and pushed her glasses back up on her face. "Wha we doin? Oh yeah, the songa-thing-choosey. Whatcha waitin for?" She looked curiously at Rainbow and Pinkie. Celestia was the one who spoke. "The deal was both of these mares chose a song, and in the event of a tie you would choose the next. It's a tie." Vinyl laughed and hacked. "No no no, princess, I'm aint wearin' a tie! But if you want, I'll pick a song." She fumbled over to the screen and pressed a few buttons before getting to the song selection screen, where she took her time trying to find a good one. "Here we go!" She slurred, bucking the start button. The competitors readied themselves for the final challenge- the other matches didn't matter now. It was up to this coin to determine who really was the Queen of Dancing. Beside them Luna and Celestia alike had devilish thoughts running through their minds. "Perhaps if I enchant her..." Celestia conisdered... "A simple puppet spell would not hurt." Luna decided. "Speed? Perhaps agility as well?" "Excellent! There is no chance I shall lose at the hooves of my sister!" I LIED THERE WILL BE A PART 4 JUST WAIT YOU'LL SEE THEY'LL ALL SEE