Muck
"Hellooo? Earth to Twilight?" said a bouncy voice.
Twilight mentally shook herself. The last five days had been trying, exhausting and well... fun. Books melted away even faster than they normally did, hours vanished in the blink of an eye, and study-time snacks evaporated out of the cupboards. It was perfect, the first real, solid study session Twilight got outside of the Royal Archives.
Problem was they ran out of snacks and without Spike there, they had to get them on their own. Secondarily Twilight needed to go visit her friends. Thirdly in her mechanical checklist mode Twilight needed to see where her friends were with plans to judge Luna. Unconsciously this had shifted down the checklist any time something new came up.
"I'm sorry what was that Pinkie Pie?" Twilight asked snapping herself back to reality.
"Well I haven't really gotten to see you in five days now, and every time I have, you always seem so distracted." Pinkie Pie looked thoughtful for a moment. "Like right now... OHMYGOSH, Twilight... have you met somebody?!"
Pinkie began hopping in an excited circle around Twilight, barely able to contain her excitement at the conclusion she just jumped to. Her mind already racing a mile a minute as she silently begged Twilight for an answer.
"Pinkie, I've pretty much been inside the library studying with Luna for five days, when would-"
Twilight was interrupted by a full body gasp from Pinkie.
"You mean you're in love with, with..."
"LUNA?!" Pinkie was so stunned that she actually seemed to perceptably calm down.
"Now, Pinkie, where did you get THAT idea?" Twilight asked, nonplussed.
"First!" Pinkie said, raising a hoof. "You come in here with that dreamy look on your face that you've had for more or less the last week. You haven’t even talked to me about books this week!”
“Have you been spying on me again? Didn't the Cakes confiscate your telescope after the-”
"Second," Pinkie said, interrupting her and raising another hoof, "You ordered the Sugarcube Corner pastries for two.'
“Yeah, because it's for two ponies, you don't buy a box each that's more expensive.”
"Third," said Pinkie, wobbling on one hoof, "I've only seen you outside Luna's presence twice now since she arrived in town."
"But-"
"Fourth," said Pinkie, waving a fourth hoof in Twilight’s face. "Whenever I see you and Luna together, I always have to check whether or not the Cutie Mark Crusaders have slipped you a love potion or not. Especially when you went to that Hay Burger with her."
"Pinkie… how did you..." said Twilight, before actually thinking seriously about what Pinkie had said.
Did she really look like that with the princess?
She effectively stopped, for a long moment.
Twilight broke out of her stunned reverie, to find herself being pony-handled onto a handcart.
"Uhh, Pinkie?"
"Oh good! You're back. I wasn't looking forward to explaining to Luna how I broke Twilight."
Pinkie haphazardly threw the handcart to the side, with a wince-inducing tinkly crash, and conjured up an embarrassingly decorated box of pastries that Twilight had last seen around Hearts and Hooves day(although not generally addressed to her.)
"There you go. Now scoot. After all, you don't want to keep Luna waiting."
“No seriously Pinkie, just because she's fun to be around doesn't mean we're in love, that wouldn't work out.”
Pinkie pulled Twilight close, looking side to side, and spoke in her most conspiratorial voice. Pinkie being Pinkie, it could easily be heard clearly in the rafters.
"I hope you haven't forgotten what you're here for, right? I mean history second, Luna’s safety comes first.”
----------------
Twilight was more than a little nervous, not only because she was carrying around a fairly suggestive heart shaped box which practically screamed "for my special some-pony," in bright pink letters. Upon reflection she had elected to leave the space with a name blank. Also she had to keep in mind what Pinkie had said about her and the Princess of the Night.
Twilight was reasonably certain at this point that Luna wasn't some changeling in disguise. She was more worried about what Pinkie said, and Pinkie being, well, Pinkie.
Did they really look like that together? Was there going to be talk, rumors, paparazzi? Twilight had read some of Rarity's “celebrity gossip” magazines she had sitting on the coffee table and made it a point to bring her own books when she came over after that.
The worrying thing was that Pinkie was saying it, and though she hadn’t mentioned any kind of twitches those had to be involved. Even with such unscientific study she couldn’t discount those twitches. Still it’s not like Twilight had gotten any confirmation from Pinkie, just some fairly reasoned points that Twilight couldn’t quite refute.
Sure, Luna was the only pony she had ever met who shared her love of learning, books and quiet evenings in the library...
wrapped up in blankets by the fireplace, reading a-
Twilight shook the italicized daydream out of her head, feeling faintly warm, and decided that she would have to tell Princess Luna the truth...
Eventually.
Maybe that daydream was too close to reality for her, too easy to slip into and forget. And there was that whole thing about Celestia asking her to spy on her too...
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Naudia looked up from her book when she felt a familiar warm glow of emotion, heralding Twilight's return. Things had been going well over the past week for her; what with the party and, indeed, Twilight herself, and a few little jaunts out into Ponyville proper fed the hive had enough love to actually start storing it up. She had asked how long it would last, but they’d never actually stored up this much in quite a long time. Nobody knew how long it would last.
Twilight’s suspicions had just begun to die down. Appealing to the unicorn, for Naudia, would mean moving away from her Luna persona and opening up to Twilight, with her real self and love of knowledge. It wasn't hard, before she figured out that little trick she was forcing herself not to break character too much, now only a thin veneer of changeling magic separated her and Twilight.
So she wasn't exactly lying to Twilight. That was an important thought to her.
Naudia was interrupted in this train of thought by a nervous Twilight, holding out a box that could only have one meaning.
"Oh," Naudia said, blushing, "Uhh, Twilight, I didn't expect you to be so..."
She looked down at the brightly decorated box and there was no other word for it.
"Forward."
Twilight tried to put on her best smile but just came off looking more nervous than ever.
"WellyouseeiwenttopinkietopickupsomethingbecauseIwaswonderingifyouwantedtogosomewhereafterweweredoneatapplejack'sfarm." Twilight said all in one breath.
"I'm sorry, Twilight," Naudia said, "I didn't quite catch that."
Twilight took some deep breaths to calm herself down before continuing.
"Well, today, we were going down to Applejack's farm, and she said that she had some chore or another that she thought you could help her with," Twilight said, nervous.
"And then I know of a lake where we could go to for a swim." When Naudia looked like she was going to say something, Twilight blurted out, "But it’s not a date, OK?"
"All right, Twilight," Naudia said playfully. "I'll take your word on that."
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"BUT APPLEJACK!" Twilight shouted.
"Now Twi, I appreciate how you must feel about this, but Ah think this is the best way to figure out if she's genuine or not." Applejack replied.
"Yes, but Applejack, if she is genuine... you just asked the goddess, who--need I remind you-- raises the moon every night. To muck out your cowshed," Twilight grimaced at her, "by hoof."
"Ah know that Twilight, but I'm not backin’ down on this," Applejack looked noticeably nervous even still. "Ah believe that the Princess would trust my judgment on this, and I hope that you do too. From what you told me that Changeling queen would balk from any kinda real work, she’d be hard pressed to keep up a facade past ten shovelfuls.”
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"NNNGGGH!" Twilight said in an exasperated but nasal voice.
"Twilight you don't have to help me out with this if you don't want to." Luna said, sounding equally nose-plugged but no less disgusted.
Twilight said nothing, and continued to shovel in silence for a minute or two.
"Princess-" Twilight started.
"Call me Luna, Twilight, I think we know each other well enough for that."
"Ummm," Twilight said, noticeably blushing, "Luna, if I may ask, why didn't you object at all when Applejack told you to muck out her cowshed?"
"Well, you can recall why I'm here right?"
"Of course! You came here to catch up on the last 1000 years of history, customs, that sort of thing. Since you've been gone."
"Yes, but also to learn more about the population of Equestria as a whole, not simply the nobles who vie for favor in our ivory castle." Luna frowned at the thought. "In any case, this is a wonderful chance for me to see the world outside petty power politics and learn how I can help those who really need it."
Luna attacked a... pile vigorously, with her shovel, still apparently thinking about the nobles.
“It's not that they're all bad, up there in Canterlot I mean, some of the bad ones have been in the upper echelons so long they've forgotten or just never knew what it's like to struggle for tomorrow's meal. Staying with them I wouldn't learn anything about that either, and if that means cleaning excrement out of a cowshed instead of a castle, then so be it. It also helps that the cow excrement is a great deal less tiresome and boring.” Luna seemed to deflate a bit thinking about this.
“It’s not all black and white either, working with a kingdom you’re working with economics and since that effects pretty much everything it gets complicated.”
“How complicated?” Twilight assumed economics was simple, ponies wanted things so other ponies made them, she never really bothered to look into it.
“There are so many ripple effects it would make your head spin, and once you’ve got your head on straight and you’re actually tracked a ripple down it’s already ran into another one and you have to recalculate. Simple things can have strange impacts you never even expect. I’d rather be here than trying to work that kind of stuff out.”
Twilight thought about this for a moment until- DRAT. One of her nose plugs fell into the muck.
Moments later, Twilight ran out of the barn, looking at her front hoof in horror, shouting;
"Ew ew EW EW EWW EWWW!"
"Alright, sugarcube, what’s wrong THIS time?" Applejack said, for the umpteenth time by her recollection.
"My, my, my," Twilight said, gasping in huge breaths of uncontaminated air, "My nose plug fell into the... the...."
"All right then," Applejack said, rummaging for the box, "Here you go."
Twilight looked in abject horror at the box Applejack had in her hoof.
"What is it Twi? You look like you've just seen a snake." This drew frightened glances all round from Moorella and the rest of the cows. "Simmer down you, it’s just a figure of speech."
"The box..." Twilight said, her voice deadpan calm, "It’s... empty."
"Then, Twilight, either you're going to have to find one of the other three sets you dropped in there and clean them off, or," Applejack said, "You'll have to do without."
Twilight was completely silent for a long moment.
And several more, longer moments...
"So, you've invented a clothespin spell, just like that, Twilight?" Luna asked Twilight as she walked back into the cowshed, seven minutes later.
"Nes." Twilight said, sullenly grabbing her shovel.
----------------
"Okay, so, progress report, Applejack." Twilight said, as Luna was off hosing herself clean.
"Well, Twi, I've been watchin’ for those signs you told me about and..." Applejack looked uncomfortable for a moment.
"Are you sure you ain't a changeling, Twi?"
Twilight looked hurt at that.
"Listen. I've been lookin’ for all those things you told me about, you know, how you found out Cadance, and while Luna has been actin’ a bit outta sorts, not talkin’ all fancy like, and not usin’ that royal voice of hers." Applejack paused, looking thoughtful. "And I'm still pretty suspicious of her, but she's been the soul of courtesy the whole time she's been here. A lot of the signs you told me about though, well, frankly, I've been seein’ em from you."
Twilight looked exasperated for a second, before regaining her composure with a few deep breaths.
"Yes, Applejack, but you're not supposed to be watching me. You're supposed to be watching the Princess. And to be fair you did ask us to shovel out the cowshed.”
"Ah don't know Twilight, I'll have to think on it a bit, you know, digest it all. We'll have another meeting at Sugarcube Corner tonight." Applejack looked shifty for a second. "By the way, Twilight, Rainbow said that she saw you walkin’ down the street today with something that looked suspiciously like Hearts and Hooves Day chocolate."
Twilight blushed and stammered out a response.
"Err, that's what Pinkie Pie gave me when I asked her for pastries for two."
This clearly wasn't enough for Applejack, who looked at Twilight with an unamused expression. Twilight cracked like an egg in a record 5.3 seconds.
"Okay, me and Luna were gonna go swimming down by the lake today, because we haven't really gotten to do anything fun since she got here, not that studying isn't fun, especially when I'm doing it with her, but I thought that you know afterwards we could-" Twilight’s hasty monologue was stopped abruptly by Applejack's hoof.
"Ah thought I might give you a kindly warning, Twilight," Applejack said, with a glare over to the outdoor shower. "If'n Luna was a changeling in disguise, Ah think the first thing she would do is try to seduce you. After all you did reveal that last one, it would make too much sense to try and get in your good graces."
The purple unicorn looked horrified.
"Just a thought, all right?"